0098 Desire (8)

Desire (7)

Someone delivered food again in the middle of the night.

Actually, the nurse had already come once in the evening, as usual to deliver today's meal and, as instructed, to bring a certain amount of medication. However, since he refused injections every day, this task had become just a formality over time.

When the nurse brought the meal this evening, she obviously didn't know there was anyone else in the room. At that time, Lingling was sleeping soundly in his arms, clinging to him like a koala, her two paws unconsciously wrapped tightly around his back in her sleep, a posture that showed she was extremely afraid of losing him.

When the nurse came in, she turned on the light. Lingling, who was sleeping, was obviously startled. She frowned and mumbled something. Wanqi Fuze gestured to the young female nurse to step back first, and then pulled the fluffy little head in his arms closer to block out the light.

After the nurse left, he sent a text message to Wan Qiqi, asking her to send some snacks from the family kitchen. He said they were for late-night snacks, but actually, he had seen Lingling cry for almost the entire afternoon, even to the point of fainting. He had made a long list, and at the end, he added that if she happened to pass by Cuiyuxuan, she should also pack some of their crystal shrimp dumplings to take with her.

Undoubtedly, when Wan Qiqi called to scold him, he was already on guard and immediately hung up, then held the person in his arms and slept contentedly for a while longer.

He himself didn't know that all those promises to let go were simply thrown to the back of his mind at this moment. Following his body's instinct, he hugged the person in his arms even tighter, and a smile of satisfaction that he couldn't suppress appeared on his lips.

How wonderful it would be if I could just let go of everything and hold her until I fell asleep.

What he seems to want has always been very simple.

After turning twelve, I wanted a home; after turning fifteen, I wanted someone, but my wishes could never be fulfilled.

It was already past midnight when someone came in again; he had woken up early. He usually couldn't sleep well at this time because of stomach pain, but for some reason, he hadn't felt any pain today. The food that Wan Qiqi sent had already been reheated twice before he finally had to wake the person in bed.

Lingling cried for too long in the afternoon, and she was still dizzy and disoriented when she woke up in the middle of the night. When she saw Wanqi Fuze, who was nearby and calling her softly to wake her up, she felt wronged again. Her nose tingled and she felt like she was about to pee. She wrapped her arms around Fuze's neck, and the two snuggled together for a while before separating.

Lingling was indeed hungry after all the fuss until midnight. Seeing all her favorite foods laid out on the table, she couldn't help but feel hungry. But as she picked up her chopsticks, she remembered something and turned to look at Aze sitting opposite her. He was looking at her with a satisfied smile, as if just looking at her was enough to fill her up.

His increasingly gaunt figure under the light felt like a sharp sword piercing her chest. Lingling felt an unbearable pain in an instant. This heartache intensified tenfold when she saw his expectant expression, so she put down the chopsticks she had just picked up, and her appetite vanished completely.

Wanqi Fuze noticed the change in her expression and quickly asked, "Is it not to your liking?"

Lingling shook her head. "You can't eat any of these."

With just those five words, her heartache was so obvious that it instantly filled his heart.

He used serving chopsticks for her, knowing she loved crystal shrimp dumplings, but since they were hard to digest at this time, he secretly moved them a little further away to prevent her from craving them.

After finishing, he poured the special dinner the nurse had given him into the porcelain bowl in front of him, took a big spoonful and put it in his mouth, and said to the person opposite him who still didn't want to touch his chopsticks, "Mine is also very delicious, why don't you try it?"

He was just teasing her, but she actually reached out to take it. He quickly covered her hand and offered a blatantly ambiguous explanation, "These are all rations of medicinal food. If you eat them, I won't have any left..."

To everyone's surprise, Lingling insisted on taking it and also put a big mouthful into her mouth.

He nervously observed her expression, fearing that her eyes would redden again after eating this unpalatable stuff. Besides, this thing was made of traditional Chinese medicine, and he was afraid it would make her feel unwell as well.

To everyone's surprise, Lingling swallowed that large mouthful without even blinking, and then spoke to him abruptly.

"Fuze, how about you get treatment?"

Her expression was unusually serious, making him the coward who dared not face her. He lowered his head, scooped up another mouthful of medicinal food, and put it in his mouth; it tasted extremely bitter.

He would often try to escape, and he didn't know how she could drink it down without changing her expression.

He heard the enchanting voice in his ear continue, "I'll stay with you. After you recover, it'll be your turn to stay with me, to eat these things with me... okay?"

She didn't want him to take such bitter medicine for another day.

She didn't want him to stay in that dark and gloomy house for another single day.

She didn't want him to suffer from such mentally devastating pain for even a day longer.

Seeing how thin and frail he is now makes her feel so heartbroken that she wants to die.

Perhaps she and his family had hurt him deeply in the past, causing him to lose hope. Now, she desperately tries to turn back to him, hoping it's not too late. Even if her strength is limited, and her love seems so insignificant in the face of his life, she wants to fight with all her might, even if it costs her life to save him, she would be willing.

As long as he is safe.

She waited intently for a reply from the person opposite her, but all she got was him putting on his cold mask again.

"After you've had this meal, you can leave."

"The people outside won't let me leave."

"I'll call the people downstairs and let you out."

"You really want me to leave?"

Wanqi Fuze's expression finally turned ugly, and after a long while, he softly hummed in agreement. Even knowing he was lying, she couldn't help but be hurt by his unwavering certainty.

So Lingling left the dining table, grabbed her coat, and pretended to leave.

He was anxious when he saw her movements. He stood up and looked at her back, wanting to reach out and grab her, but then realized he had no reason to do so. So he watched her move smoothly and effortlessly, then pushed open the door and left without saying a word.

The room was instantly enveloped in darkness and cold, and at the same time, loneliness and sorrow enveloped his heart.

How could he possibly have the right to keep her?

For a dying person, leaving is the best choice; he knew that all along, didn't he?

Then why, upon seeing her, did the desire to live begin to stir within his heart?

His life became an endless dark night from the moment he caused the deaths of his biological mother and brother, with only the appearance of Lingling bringing glimmers of starlight.

He is not a greedy person; as long as there is one star, his world is bright.

It's hard to let go when you know Lingling doesn't love you, but it's easy to let go when you know you can't give her happiness, and you can no longer provide her with security because of your illness.

But whether simplicity meant he was willing, he seemed never to have asked himself that question, nor did he dare to.

Just as he felt immense joy, not panic, when he saw her that afternoon, he felt a pang of sadness, not happiness, as she left... Only one thing remained unchanged: he could only feel at ease when she left safely...

After drifting off to sleep, he suddenly woke up again, not knowing how long it had been. He remembered that he hadn't called the guard downstairs when she left. It was four or five degrees below zero outside. He wondered how frozen she would be if she hadn't gotten out.

With a huge heart pounding, he put on his coat and was about to go out when he opened it and saw that pitiful little bundle huddled in the corner, dozing off.

Only in the dim light of the corridor could one see how thin her clothes were. Even though this was not outside, the long-neglected corridor was still chilly.

He was overwhelmed by self-blame and heartache in an instant.

Lingling, who was huddled there, clearly felt the light and woke up. She was shivering from the cold, but when she saw his bright eyes, she tried to stand up. However, because she had been squatting for too long, her legs were numb and she stumbled and lost her balance. After a while, she stood up and pounced on him with a satisfied smile.

"I knew you wouldn't really abandon me."

He was in excruciating pain.

The person in his arms was still trembling, but whispered happily, "I know I made you angry. I'll obediently stay away if you don't want to see me, but please don't let me leave..."

Because her face was pressed against his clothes, her voice was muffled and damp.

There was a changing of the guard whistle downstairs.

In this lonely and long night, the two stood there, embracing each other for a long time, absorbing all of each other's warmth.

Eventually, a single hot tear will break through the ice.

P.S.: Lingling is so well-behaved.