Xu Tingchuan stopped talking, took her hand down, held it in his palm, and sighed softly: "To me, Su Yan is like Mu Zhi, Pei Yang, or Gu Chen, or even Jia Yue. When she had her accident, I was really shocked."

Ni Sitian understood from his example that he wanted to tell her that his feelings for Su Yan were like those for a friend or a younger sister.

She could tell he hadn't gotten over Su Yan's surprise, so she gently patted his hand reassuringly.

"We saw the news about the plane crash on the news. We couldn't believe it at all. Why did this happen so suddenly? Why did it have to happen to Su Yan? Even a month after the accident, we still couldn't accept it. We always felt that Su Yan must be hiding somewhere." Xu Tingchuan took a deep breath.

Ni Sitian understood the feeling Xu Tingchuan was describing. She used to think that her mother was hiding away and would probably reappear in front of her soon. But as she waited and waited, from daytime to nighttime, from spring and summer to autumn and winter, she finally realized that her mother would not come back.

“You once asked me why I joined the army after completing my doctorate. I answered you that it was to find someone, and that person is Su Yan.” Xu Tingchuan’s gaze was distant as he recalled the past. “Back then, we had arranged for a naval search and rescue team to search the area where the accident occurred. Mu Zhi and I went there because of that.”

Ni Sitian remembered that he had indeed mentioned looking for someone before, but she never imagined it would turn out like this.

When she heard him say that he joined the army to find Su Yan, she felt no longer jealousy, but heartache.

“I also bear some responsibility for Su Yan taking that flight.” Xu Tingchuan lowered his eyes, pursed his lips, and said quietly, “The reason I joined the army was not only to find Su Yan, but also to take good care of Mu Zhi for Su Yan.”

Ni Sitian was stunned, a little confused about what he meant. Wasn't Su Yan his girlfriend?

“Mu Zhi wasn’t like a normal person at that time. I couldn’t bear to let him go to the army alone.” Xu Tingchuan paused, then said, “Actually, after the search and rescue ended and the official list of the deceased was announced, there was no need for us to stay any longer. But Mu Zhi chose to continue, so I stayed with him.”

Ni Sitian became more and more confused as she listened, and couldn't help but ask, "Why do you need to take care of Shen Muzhi for Su Yan? Isn't the person she likes you?"

Xu Tingchuan shook his head, looked up at her, and sighed, "Back then, the three of us were probably all idiots, which is why so many things went wrong."

Ni Sitian paused, then frowned in confusion and asked, "You've confused me. Are you saying she likes Shen Muzhi but doesn't know her own feelings, and she's still dating you?"

"You could say that," Xu Tingchuan nodded.

"How is that possible? We spend every day together, how could you not know who you like?" Ni Sitian found it unbelievable. She had also experienced the butterflies in her stomach during her youth and couldn't understand how someone could misunderstand that feeling.

Xu Tingchuan shook his head slightly again. "Actually, Su Yan isn't confused about who she likes. She just doesn't understand who the person who borrowed the same book from her in the library and used annotations to express their feelings was, or who the person who saved her from the icy river in winter was."