Chapter 79 recalls how she "died" when he loved her the most...

The two talked frankly for most of the day, but neither could persuade the other. However, they understood each other and didn't force anything, so they didn't continue the conversation. They just drank and waited until the moon rose. Then, someone from Lu Wu's wife's side came looking for him, and Lu Wu went back with them.

Yan Ning was the only one left at the inn.

He picked up a pot of wine, sat down by the window, and drank it by himself.

The weather was lovely in early summer, with a cool and pleasant evening breeze. He leaned back and looked up to see a crescent moon in the sky, which reminded him of his wedding to Li Yunru a few years ago.

They got married around the same time, only a few days apart.

At that time, everyone knew that this marriage was for the purpose of seizing the military power in Jiangzuo entrusted by Emperor Xuan. It was a union for profit, and no one could feel the joy of marrying the one they loved.

He felt neither joy nor sorrow, and was manipulated by his parents like a puppet in the Yan family.

The person instructed: "It doesn't matter if you don't like Princess Liyang. Just go through the motions, wait a year or two, then divorce and marry someone else."

Back then, Yan Ning could never have imagined what would happen today.

If he had known beforehand that they would be so unable to let go of each other, he would have behaved much better on his wedding day; at least he would have been very happy, with a smile on his face.

Li Yunru is one of them.

He wasn't sure if she knew how their marriage had been arranged.

But on her wedding day, she was especially happy. Sitting in the bridal carriage, she kept sticking her head out to greet the onlookers, showing no trace of a girl's modesty. He rode a little ahead of her on his fiery red horse, and when he turned around, he saw her bright and radiant smile.

At that time, he thought, how could there be such a heartless little princess? With such a temperament, how could she live in his Yan family?

As it turned out, he was right; with her temperament, she couldn't have survived in the Yan family.

After that day, she was always unhappy. She would often have a bitter face, frown, and then act wildly, taking pleasure in bullying him. She would make a scene and even found a few poor scholars to play with, which caused a lot of controversy in the capital.

This also fueled the ambitions of those few individuals.

They outwardly respected her, but in reality, they didn't take her seriously. It was they who spread the rumors. At the poetry gathering in the restaurant, they talked loudly and said, "What is Princess Liyang? She's just a plaything in my hands. I only coaxed her gently a few times, and she got all carried away, saying she wants to divorce her husband."

"The princess is beautiful, but her temperament is too wicked. How can she be a proper wife and mistress? I must marry her, without hesitation..."

They used her as a stepping stone, yet looked down on her, and even used her private moments in the bedroom to attract attention, further damaging her already bad reputation.

But she seemed oblivious to everything and continued to do as she pleased. In the end, when he took action, she still argued with him and others.

During that period, the two were at loggerheads and their relationship was extremely bad.

It was so bad that he thought the two of them might not even last another year or two.

He was thinking about how he should repay the benefits he had gained from the military power after the divorce.

Just when he thought their marriage was over, she came to him. She was wearing a simple, light gauze dress, and sat on his lap, hugging his neck. She said in a plain voice, "I didn't mean to cause any trouble. I just wanted you to pay more attention to me."

The beauty wept tears, and I felt pity for her.

He knew she was faking it; she wasn't the type to easily back down and play the victim. Her feigned fragility and teary eyes couldn't hide her cunning.

But he still went along with her tantrum; it was a way out, and he took it.

Yan Ning remembered that night, she slapped her thigh and laughed while scolding him: "You hypocrite, you're blinded by lust!"

She was so mean, she was just torturing him. Seeing him in such a sorry state made her feel satisfied and happy. But her happiness was genuine, like on her wedding day, sitting in the bridal car, her bright and radiant smile undisguised.

So he thought, it's only a year or two anyway, I'll just bear with it. Since she'll be happy this way, I'll go along with it.

At some point, this tolerant attitude slowly changed, turning into a sense of contentment and even a sense of anticipation... Eventually, she even appeared in my dreams.

Her unrestrained pride, unconventional behavior, and disregard for rules brought a lot of life to his usually sullen and dull life, and to the sullen Yan family.

Very interesting.

Unfortunately, that won't happen again.

He unconsciously touched the area above his heart, where the wound had long since healed. The scab had fallen off, leaving only a faint mark as proof that she had once existed.

...

border.

Although it was already April, the feeling of being on the frontier was not quite real; it was still quite cold. Li Yunru, dressed in a coarse linen shirt and wrapped in a rabbit fur coat to keep warm, sat on a pile of stones, gazing at the bright stars and moon in the sky, and couldn't help but think of the husband she was not fortunate enough to have.

She and the man were two extremes. She always lived passionately and flamboyantly, maintaining great interest and enthusiasm for everything, while he was indifferent or even apathetic towards everything, just like the moon in the sky, cold and detached, without much human warmth.

She liked him earlier than he liked her.

That year, under the pear blossoms in the royal garden, she fell in love with someone at first sight.

At first, she also thought about living a good life with him, so she was especially happy when they got married, and all the unhappiness from being inexplicably forced into marriage disappeared.

But their family had many rules and regulations, and the people were difficult to get along with. They all looked down on her because of their status.

She came from a humble background, but she was pampered by her family from a young age. Even during the most difficult years when her parents rebelled, her older siblings still doted on her. She had never suffered such injustice before.

Especially her husband, who always maintained his gentlemanly demeanor, was as bland as water, uninterested in anything, and did not help her.

That initial affection gradually faded amidst this indifference.

But she got married.

The Emperor and Empress Dowager said that there was no reason for a married daughter to divorce and return home after only one month.

They advised her to get along well with others, saying that he was a good person and responsible, but that they just needed time to adjust to each other, and asked her to be tolerant.

How can we tolerate this?

She's going to make a scene!

The bigger the commotion, the better!

If Yan Ning doesn't help her, she'll fight back herself. No one can outdo her or give her any humiliation. She's even worse at this aloof husband, finding all sorts of ways to bully and torment him.

But his temper was indeed as his mother described, and it was truly good.

Every time, I just give them a cold shoulder and then coax them a little, and it's over.

He wasn't angry much, and he would usually go along with her.

Although he still seemed indifferent and uncaring, he would try his best to avoid making her unhappy if she mentioned anything.

As time went on, she felt that this was not bad.

But these aristocratic families have too many rules and too many entanglements of interests. Even if he goes along with her, he will inevitably have to choose to give her up rather than compromise between his family and her.

As the country teetered on the brink of collapse, the true colors of the powerful families became even more apparent, their viciousness exposed, each one wanting to tear a piece of flesh from them.

Then, when it's no longer useful, it's simply thrown away.

She saw through them, so she didn't want him anymore.

She used him to gain the greatest benefit.

I want to settle things once and for all, and not have any further entanglement with each other.

Let those personal feelings remain in the past and be buried deep in your heart.

She never intended to return to the Yan family, but then so many things happened...

Alas, she truly hated him, and she truly loved him, but unfortunately, there was no future for them.

He was the moon in the sky, bright and unattainable, while her life had to be rooted in the earth. Only by emerging from the moon and landing on this land could she feel at peace, feel free, and be able to breathe...

Li Yunru thought that she shouldn't have any regrets about this relationship. Whether it was love or hate, the ending was the same. Now, they had returned to their original positions. She had gained the freedom and unrestraint she wanted, and he no longer had to make concessions for her or cause trouble for her and his family.

It wasn't that she didn't believe in Yan Ning's feelings for her, but such things never stand the test of time. Besides, there were so many examples around her, too many temptations. People are products of their environment. As Cui said, perhaps in ten, twenty, thirty years... in the long run, he would forget how he loved her now.

This is for the best; she "died" at the hands of a powerful family, at the height of their affection.

Even if things change drastically in the future, he will still remember this, which can be considered a kind of fulfillment.

"What are you thinking about?"

Du Sanniang draped a fine fox fur coat over her shoulders. "Why aren't you asleep so late?"

"nothing."

Li Yunru looked away and asked, "Why are you out here too?"

Du Sanniang said, "I've come out to see if the night patrol is slacking off."

Li Yunru laughed: "They wouldn't dare, otherwise your whip is no joke."

"What, are you scared too?"

“I’ve seen people who whip harder than you.”

I believe that.

When Du San Niang found her, she was barely clinging to life and there was almost nothing good about her.

"You know, during the month I took you in, many doctors came to see you and shook their heads, saying that you were definitely beyond saving and that I should just give up. But you actually woke up and were lively and energetic again."

Li Yunru chuckled, "I value my life more."

“That’s right.” Du Sanniang put her hand on her shoulder and said, “That’s what I liked about you when I saved you. You’re a person who values ​​your life and has a tenacious spirit, which suits my taste.”

“Ruilin, the letters home have all been delivered, and there’s not much business to be done in Sifang City. Going back seems like the same old thing. I’ve already gone back and forth on those routes many times, but there’s nothing to be gained. This time I want to take a bigger risk and go to Rongdi. They’re said to have a batch of top-quality gems there, which are especially beautiful. I’m sure I’ll make a profit if I sell them. But that’s not our Great Jin territory anymore. Who knows what will happen? Do you still want to come with me?”

"Not just gemstones, I heard they have a flower that blooms with exceptionally soft flowers. If you make clothes from it, they'd be warmer than this coat you're wearing."

"Did your girlfriend in the military tell you that?"

“Hmm.” Li Yunru said, “I was thinking, if we could get the seeds of that flower and plant them in the territory of the Great Jin, would our soldiers guarding the city, and even ordinary people, be able to use them to make winter clothes and no longer suffer from the cold?”

Du Sanniang laughed heartily, "That's something for the officials in the capital to think about. Why are you trying to steal their work? Those things that are fundamental to people's livelihoods are very private. Our little team can't get them. Forget about it. We'll just take the gemstones, change the design, and sell them to those officials at a high price. We'll make a fortune and let them exploit us all the time!"

Li Yunru didn't say anything, she just nodded, "Okay."