Chapter 45: A long time later, Jin Yunyan finally understood...

His voice was lazy, carrying a certain inexplicable tenderness. Bo Xia was stunned for a moment, a little lost in thought. "Well... I have to worry about the car, it's not cheap."

Jin Yunyan: "..."

There was silence on the other end of the phone for a moment, and then a slight laugh was heard.

Bo Xia's ears burned as she listened, but she remained silent. Yet, the silence between them seemed even more ambiguous than Jin Yunyan's words. She sensed something was amiss and tried to wrap up the call: "If you've been drinking, get some rest. If you have a headache, try soaking some honey in water."

"Okay," he said with a faint snort at the end of his voice, "you should get some rest early too."

Bo Xia poured a cup of warm water in the living room. When her roommate passed by, she heard her finish a phone call and casually asked her if she was talking to her boyfriend. She shook her head and said they were just friends.

"Are we just friends, or just friends for now?" Her roommate leaned in closer, pointing at the blush on her face. "You're so hot just from a phone call."

She didn't say anything, and after being teased, she went into the bathroom to wash up and looked in the mirror.

The person in the mirror looked much more mature than before, but she could still see the expression of a teenage girl on her face for the first time in a long time.

She has always felt that she could never completely lose her feelings for him because the years of secret love they had for him were too deep, so it was understandable that she still cared about him and admired him.

But after spending these few times together, she found that she was still attracted to him.

The thoughts that had been buried in her heart for too long were about to come to light again, as if her love for Jin Yunyan had become a kind of habit, and she could not resist this subconscious behavior even if she suppressed it.

She took a shower, and when she took off her clothes, she could still faintly smell his scent on them.

The hot water washed over her tired body. She used this time to try to figure out her true thoughts, but when she put on her pajamas, she still couldn't figure it out.

Her roommate outside asked her if she was okay, and she hurried out.

Forget it, if you can’t figure it out, just stop thinking about it.

Sometimes there is no need to think clearly about everything in life. It is enough to do what you should do.

Commuting in Beijing is always a hassle.

Thanks to Jin Yunyan, it was much more convenient for Bo Xia to drive his car to the company. When she walked out of the parking lot, she turned on her mobile phone and sent the detailed address to Jin Yunyan.

The high-profile car was particularly conspicuous. A colleague ran into her and followed her. He asked her why she was driving the car. She explained that she was driving a client home yesterday. Xiao Zhou said with some disappointment, "I thought..."

"What do you think?"

Bo Xia knew that she was speaking her mind and had no bad intentions, so she didn't get angry when she heard this.

"I thought you were having an affair with Mr. Jin," Xiao Zhou joked as he walked with her. "He's well-mannered, good-looking, and most importantly, rich. If I were you, I would definitely take this opportunity to develop a relationship with him."

Bo Xia laughed dumbly: "Then let me introduce you?"

"A gentleman doesn't take away someone else's love. Next time you meet a rich second-generation guy, introduce him to me," she added. "Don't want ugly ones. I'm afraid I won't be able to eat them."

Bo Xia suppressed his laughter but did not express any opinions. After all, everyone has their own pursuits. Some people yearn for love, while others only want fame and fortune. Only the fish knows whether the water is hot or cold. It is fine as long as everyone is content with what they are doing.

She also joked back, but only after she finished speaking did she forget to deny the four words "stealing someone else's love."

After entering the office building, the two of them had no time to chat and laugh anymore.

Sitting at his workstation, with his computer open, it felt like the clock had ticked by in the blink of an eye. Half an hour ago, Bo Xia received a message from Jin Yunyan asking for the exact location of the car, and had just sent him a picture.

When I picked up the phone, I found that he had sent a message saying that he had arrived at the place but couldn't find the location of the car.

Didn’t you say to let the driver come and drive? Why did you come here by yourself?

She was afraid that Jin Yunyan would wait too long, so she called him as she went downstairs. After the call was connected, her voice was still a little breathless: "Where are you? I was too busy to check the message..."

The glass window of the coffee shop downstairs reflected her worried face. Her hair, which was fixed with shark clips, was a little messy. Jin Yunyan looked at her from a few steps away and said, "Turn back."

Bo Xia didn't understand what was going on. When she turned around, she saw someone sitting inside through a piece of glass.

It was early autumn, and he was wearing a thin black windbreaker, which added a bit of abstinence to his appearance. When he walked up to her, he lowered his eyes to look at her, as if he wanted to see through her thoughts.

"What's the hurry? Why are you running so fast?"

He smiled slightly, wondering if she thought he would wait there foolishly for half an hour?

When Bo Xia heard him say "let's go", she had a slight illusion for a moment, as if he was her lover who had been waiting for her to get off work for a long time. The two of them walked side by side, preparing to go somewhere for a date.

I had some inappropriate fantasies in my mind, so I didn't have time to think about many things. For example, Jin Yunyan couldn't find his car even though it was so easy to find.

Bo Xia thought that he was not familiar with the parking lot and that was why he couldn't find a spot. Besides, as a pampered man like him, there was always someone to help him drive or park.

Bo Xia walked straight towards the area where he had parked his car. The luxury car in the distance was still very conspicuous here even though it looked low-key.

"Here."

Bo Xia stood in front and signaled Jin Yunyan with her eyes to get in the car. She could go home early after dealing with this matter.

Before she could even say goodbye, the passenger seat in front of her opened. Jin Yunyan leaned very close to her, his body wrapped in a light woody scent. If you smelled carefully, there was also a faint smell of tobacco, but it was not unpleasant at all. "Get in the car. I have to treat you to a meal to express my gratitude."

He is always gentle, and the aggressiveness he carries is also gentle, like a rain that takes you completely off guard, invading all your areas in an instant.

So Bo Xia didn't have any defense against him, his mind was blank, and he finally made a few excuses but still didn't know how he got into the car.

I don’t know if it was a problem with the seat belt or because she was a little nervous, but after sitting down, Bo Xia didn’t get in. She tried twice and the same thing happened again.

"Don't move."

Jin Yunyan leaned closer to her, raised his hand to pull out the seat belt again, and after adjusting it for a moment, he heard a slight "click" beside his ear.

She could see his Adam's apple as soon as she lowered her eyes, and her mind was like the surface of water stirred by the wind. She had no time to think whether it was her own fault or some other problem.

It was the time to get off work, and the traffic was extremely congested. From a distance, the traffic looked so heavy that it seemed as if there was no end in sight.

As dusk approached, the lights on both sides lit up one by one, illuminating the road ahead. The distant end was stained with a brilliant yellow sunset glow, its beauty was almost shocking.

She hadn't seen such a beautiful sunset for a long time. The last time she saw it was in Nan'an.

Nan'an was a small town that thrived on tourism, so the weather was excellent, so good that for a while there were beautiful sunsets almost every day. Strangely, after being away from that city for so long, she actually felt a tinge of nostalgia.

I miss the humidity during the return of the south wind, and I also miss the fiery clouds after the rain.

Compared with the soft southern eucalyptus, the city of Beijing always seems cold and hard, so cold and hard that she also has fewer wet tears.

Passing by a river, the gorgeous sunset glow swayed on the river surface. Bo Xia didn't want to enjoy this scenery alone, so when she tilted her head to look out the window, she called Jin Yunyan's name: "Look, it's beautiful outside."

He only took a single glance, but in that one glance the magnificent sunset became her background. Jin Yunyan only saw her profile, stained by the sunset glow. Her eyes were always bright, with a certain tenacity, as if they held a certain vitality that could not be ignored.

The car circled on the road for a long time. At first, Bo Xia joked that he was planning to sell himself. When they arrived at the destination, she looked up and glanced at the name of the restaurant and realized that he was taking her to eat Nan'an's home-cooked food.

"I think this one will suit your taste."

Although the restaurant is in a remote location, the food they serve is indeed authentic, even more authentic than what Bo Xia had eaten in some scenic spots in Nan'an before.

She hadn't eaten these in a long time. She tried the fish and saw that Jin Yunyan didn't move his chopsticks. She was worried that he was trying to please her. After asking, she found out that he didn't like fish because he had a fish bone stuck in his throat when he was a child.

Yes, he didn't like eating fish and didn't like the rainy season. Sometimes she wanted to ask him why he went to Nan'an.

Bo Xia was born in a land of fish and rice, and had been eating fish since she was a child, so naturally she had the same experience. She propped up her cheeks and told him interesting stories from the past. She said that after a fish bone got stuck in her throat, she was forced by adults to drink a lot of vinegar. The vinegar was sour, but the fish bone didn't go away at all.

But later I still loved eating fish.

But Jin Yunyan didn't laugh along.

He just thought it was ridiculous. Instead of going to the hospital for a fish bone stuck in his throat, he drank vinegar. Was it a lack of common sense or a lack of concern?

Jin Yunyan took a pair of clean chopsticks to help her prepare the fish, and then put it into her bowl: "Eat slowly."

Bo Xia was stunned for a moment, but finally thought he was just taking care of others out of habit, just like Meng Xubai, and didn't think much of it. After all, after so many years, she was no longer like a little girl who always expected others' feelings. Rationality and clarity became her byword.

After dinner, Jin Yunyan took her for a ride. She joked that she did not suffer any loss as a designated driver yesterday. She drove a luxury car and rode in a luxury car, but she was a little nervous when driving.

He recalled her expression last night and didn't sense any fear at all. He just felt that she was used to driving and didn't seem to be nervous about anything.

Bo Xia said frankly: "What if I say that I was just pretending to be calm?"

In fact, she is pretending most of the time. This is her way of survival. If she wants to go to a higher place, she must overcome the fear in her heart and become a strong person.

Whenever she couldn't do anything, she would imagine herself as someone else and think about what she would do if she were him.

The person I thought about the most was Jin Yunyan.

She remembers that the first time she spoke at the podium, her voice was so low that even she could not hear herself clearly. But now, she can face everyone calmly.

People always need exercise. If they don't try to face more people, their backs will not become straighter and their personalities will not become more confident and bold.

This is the price she pays for adapting to work and society. For her, it means getting better, but many times the self she pretends to be in front of others is not the real her.

The car stopped by the roadside. Jin Yunyan raised his passionate eyes, wanting to see her clearly through the thick smoke. But she had torn off a corner of herself and no longer opened up to him, leaving him alone with his curiosity about her.

Bo Xia had a lot to say to him, and wanted to tell him how much he meant to her in the past, but in the end, she thought better of it.

The light on the moon was the light she cast, and the person she loved was herself. Was there any regret? Certainly, but now, just being able to stand before him seemed enough.

The part of her that had become him had long since been by her side in his place.

She didn't dare to hope anymore, nor did she want to hope anymore.

The ending of longing for love always seems to be miserable, like putting the sharpest knife in the hands of the person you love most, and wondering if he dares to stab you with that knife. She can no longer put herself in such a situation as she did in the past.

So she just glanced at him and said nothing more, as if she didn't want to show her other side.

Such a complex and deep look seemed to be mixed with a long time, and it was only a long time later that Jin Yunyan truly understood the story in it.