Chapter 67 Drama "The person you love now loves you as well."...

The light from the street lamp kissed his cold brows. In a trance, Bo Xia sensed a sense of strangeness on his face, just like a crack clearly appeared on a piece of jade that was always warm and translucent.

But that feeling quickly dissipated, making people suspect that it was just her illusion.

Jin Yunyan gently stroked the corners of her eyes, and his skin occasionally touched her long eyelashes. He wondered how pure the girl in front of him must be to be able to tolerate the existence of a love rival.

But he can't.

Bo Xia didn't think too deeply about his words, just thinking it was just a romantic interest. So she raised her hand and stroked his cheek, smiling, "Then I'll be your stingy kid."

It rained at night, washing away the remaining dryness in the city.

When Wen Xin was chatting with her, she asked, what is it like when your secret crush becomes your boyfriend? Is your fantasy shattered?

She was hugging a pillow in her room, thinking. She didn't feel disappointed, but she did feel that Jin Yunyan was a little different from what she had imagined. However, the differences were so subtle that they couldn't shake the image of him in her mind.

Maybe it's obsession.

She still wanted to treat him as the same person he used to be, but she forgot that the long flow of time between them was always flowing, and no one was static.

Wen Xin couldn't help but ask again: "Are you harmonious in that aspect?"

"..." Bo Xia was silent for a while. "Why do you want to know everything?"

"What's wrong? Am I not your favorite person in the whole world?"

"yes."

"Then you should have told me."

The logic behind these two sentences is as ridiculous as the two sentences "I'm in a good mood today" and "So I need to go to the bathroom." Bo Xia smiled helplessly and patiently explained, "It hasn't come to that yet."

"Oh, I understand. You guys are going for the pure love route."

Come to think of it, the two good kids looked like decent people. She thought of something and said, "But don't be too naive. If you don't have time to sleep later, you'll be at a huge disadvantage."

Maybe it was because love was all about fast food in this era, and Wen Xin had changed several boyfriends. She always felt that many relationships would not lead to marriage, so she said such words without thinking, as if tacitly agreeing that they would break up.

Bo Xia was stunned for a moment, but she didn't see anything wrong. She didn't know why, but she always felt that love was fragile, like a piece of cracked porcelain you buy; you never know when you'll end up with a pile of broken pieces.

That night she had a dream.

In her dream, she was Yu Qinghe. She watched the man she loved standing in front of her, holding hands with someone else, saying things that had nothing to do with her. She saw that usually gentle face reveal an indifferent expression, and his eyes seemed to have no room for her.

Perhaps the dream was too real, her heart was beating a little faster when she woke up, and she was sweating a little.

Bo Xia sent a message to Jin Yunyan, saying that he had a nightmare.

It was just a casual remark, but he called me unexpectedly. Jin Yun's tone was gentle: "What nightmare did you have? Are you okay?"

The words were already on the tip of her lips but she swallowed them back, as if saying such words would show weakness: "I just dreamed of being chased by someone. I forgot the details."

"Don't be afraid, it's just a dream."

Jin Yunyan wasn't fully awake yet, but his tone didn't contain any impatience at being disturbed. Instead, it contained worry, and even a hint of helplessness. After all, they weren't together, so he could only offer her a little comfort over the phone.

But these were just what Bo Xia said casually.

She herself didn't take it seriously.

She lifted her legs to put on her high heels at the entrance, but she didn't expect to see Jin Yunyan standing in front of the car when she went downstairs. From a distance, he was wearing a black shirt, looking dignified and reserved.

Seeing her coming over, Jin Yunyan stood and chatted with her for a few words, then took the opportunity to hug her in his arms. She could clearly feel the other's body temperature through the thin cloth. Jin Yunyan asked her if she was feeling better and if she was still scared.

She found it a little funny, then came to her senses and said it was a dream, saying that she was not that fragile.

He chuckled lightly: "I remember your tone. You sounded a little scared."

In that airtight embrace, Bo Xia felt like something was being hammered hard in the chest. Perhaps it was because she had been accustomed to the bruises and scars all over her body for so many years, and she had never spoken of them as a casual matter, but suddenly someone cherished them more than she did.

"Jin Yunyan." She couldn't help but call his name.

He said "hmm" and asked her what was wrong. Bo Xia shook her head and said it was nothing, but she hugged him even tighter.

It was a perfectly natural action, but Jin Yunyan sensed a hint of coquettishness. He had once thought he disliked the clingy dynamics between young lovers, but now he realized he enjoyed it more than anyone else.

He really hoped that the person in his arms could rely on him a little more.

Soon autumn came to Beijing. While the dryness of the long summer in the south was still lingering, the stuffiness in Beijing had completely dissipated.

Summer said goodbye to us so cleanly and neatly, leaving only the leaves that had not yet turned yellow as a trace.

Yu Qinghe was still lying in the hospital, with Sheng Chi working tirelessly to peel an apple for her.

She looked at the man with a rage. If her physical condition hadn't allowed it, she would have thrown a pillow at him by now. "Do you remember what you said to me last time?"

"What did you say?" Sheng Chi pretended to be stupid.

"You told me that Jin Yunyan likes girls who don't take the initiative."

Sheng Chi seemed to have just remembered this, and he said "Oh" in a long voice: "I did say this, but have you ever thought that Jin Yunyan's liking for girls who don't take the initiative doesn't mean he likes you? After all, you see, there are many girls who don't take the initiative, but he can only like one person..."

After hearing this, Yu Qinghe almost committed murder in the hospital.

An unknown amount of time passed before Sheng Chi, who had rarely been serious, patiently and gently fed Yu Qinghe, saying, "Do you really like Ah Yan? Qinghe, you see, when you were little you always liked the prettiest dresses and the most expensive luxury goods. So you only like him because he's the best among us."

Yu Qinghe, whose thoughts were exposed, looked at him angrily: "Why are you talking so much today?"

Sheng Chi ignored her words and told her like an older brother: "Why bother to follow Ah Yan so stubbornly? There is still a big world out there."

The woman on the hospital bed was stunned for a long time, and began to examine this relationship.

Does she really like him?

Just as I was thinking about it for a while, the person in front of me suddenly said, "So, why not look at other people? Three-legged frogs are hard to find, but two-legged men are everywhere. Do you need me to introduce you to someone?"

Yu Qinghe's newly-aroused emotions immediately dissipated, and he didn't respond in a friendly manner: "Do you think I dare to talk to the person you introduced me to?"

“…”

"After all, birds of a feather flock together. What good things can you possibly introduce?"

Sheng Chi: "..." He shouldn't have come here today. If he doesn't cheat Jin Yunyan of something next time, he wouldn't be called Sheng.

Bo Xia met Yu Qinghe again at work.

Before coming, the subordinates were still a little nervous and said that although Miss Yu was beautiful, her temper was really hard to compliment.

In my impression, Yu Qinghe has a face that looks very aggressive, like a spoiled young lady, not to be trifled with. But she is so beautiful that others have to flatter her before saying anything bad about her.

Bo Xia suppressed his laughter and comforted his subordinate: "Don't worry, she is coming for me."

The girl followed her and said, "Is she targeting you? But you have such a good temper. Did you offend her in some way?"

After thinking about it, the girl felt that it might not be that Bo Xia had offended the eldest lady. Judging from Yu Qinghe's temper, he looked down on everyone equally, so it was normal for him to be unhappy with anyone.

Everyone was prepared to be in trouble before coming, but this time it went exceptionally smoothly.

Afterwards, Bo Xia shook her hand, but sensing that she wasn't staying long, he quickly released her hand. Yu Qinghe was silent for a long time, then spoke reluctantly, "Thank you for what you did that day."

"No, I would help anyone else."

Yu Qinghe had to admit that the person before her was different from anyone she'd known before. If others helped her or complimented her, it was always motivated by personal interests, but Bo Xia remained neither humble nor overbearing, acting out of instinct.

Bo Xia didn't like her, but he also didn't hate her because of what she said before.

It’s as if all beings are equal in each other’s eyes, and everyone has the right to receive mercy.

Even though she was usually spoiled, Yu Qinghe was very clear about what she loved and hated. She bowed her head, which was rare for her: "I admit, I lost to you."

This sentence is actually very difficult for her, because she has never been willing to accept that she is inferior to others.

But Bo Xia seemed to see his past self.

Yes, she always thought that Jin Yunyan didn't choose her because she wasn't good enough, but that wasn't true. Love is never a reward for excellence. It's such a fair game that it won't be shaken by these things.

So Bo Xia glanced at her, as if saying to his past self—

"Love is not a choice, so you are not a loser and I am not a winner."

True love is like solving a problem that requires a detailed answer, not choosing from ABCD. The one chosen is the optimal solution, and the one not chosen is a useless option. It does not mean that there is another option besides this one.

So they don't need to compare or fight with anyone.

Yu Qinghe was stunned for a moment. She had never thought that she would hear these words from her mouth. But before she could recover from her words, Bo Xia had already turned around calmly.

The magnificent sunset in the distance had just set, casting a faint golden edge on the thin figure, making it difficult to look away for a moment.

After work, Jin Yunyan came to pick her up. She happened to have two tickets to the theater and wanted to go see the show because of the actor's reputation.

The performance was quite good, but the piece performed on stage was "Letter from an Unknown Woman", which tells the story of a woman's rich inner drama of secret love. She even gave birth to a child for the man she secretly loved. In order to raise the child, she had no choice but to become a prostitute. But in the end, the love letter she wrote before her death was handed to the person she secretly loved, and the writer never remembered who she was.

The original novel itself carries a strong sense of tragedy, not to mention that after it was transformed into a concrete performance, the actor performed the monologue to the extreme.

In fact, such a value of giving everything for love is inevitably a bit outdated in today's social context. It even seems that such a heroine has reached the point of being obsessed.

Bo Xia also felt that even in the most innocent youth, he probably would not approve of such behavior, let alone now, when he is at an age where he already understands that loving someone means loving himself first.

But a classic is a classic after all. Perhaps it is precisely because of the heroine's self-burning love that this self-touching tragedy seems particularly grand.

I don’t know if it was because the actors’ performance was too good, or because the original content of the script resonated with her, but Bo Xia still felt some empathy, and there was some sadness in her eyes when she came out.

Jin Yunyan would not normally be affected by these stories, but after reading them, he was reminded of the people around him. Seeing that she was in a bad mood, he couldn't help feeling a little distressed.

He asked her what she was thinking about.

Bo Xia's voice was soft, telling him not to take it to heart.

Then she talked about her feelings about the story. She said that if it were her, she would not make such a choice, but perhaps it was the protagonist's own will. Bo Xia thought of Sanmao's "Stories of the Sahara", in which a Sahrawi man risked his life for a deceitful love. The essay said, "When a moth flies into a flame, it must be extremely happy and blissful." [1]

Perhaps only the protagonist is immersed in this happiness.

Bo Xia thought for a moment and said, "It's hard to say about the others, but I do agree with one of their opinions."

"What?"

"Love is a personal matter. My love for you has nothing to do with you." Such extreme purity and self-touching are always incomprehensible. Even the protagonist in the story has reached the point where she would not tell the other person about her feelings if she were not facing death.

Rather than saying that she loves the other person, it is better to say that she is looking for a little spiritual comfort in her dark world and lives for this.

Some people think that such strong and reckless love is a loss of self, while others think it is bravery.

So this is just love, not love between two people.

The person you have a crush on is just a symbol, a reliance, and it can be anyone else.

She told him all these thoughts, hoping that he would feel sorry for her. But she never needed Jin Yunyan's pity. With her strong self-esteem, she would feel that sympathy for her was actually looking down on her.

She forgot at that time that there is actually only a fine line between pity and love.

She smiled and hugged him, her amber eyes like beautiful gems. "So, Jin Yunyan, all my past self-admiration has nothing to do with you."

She did have a crush on him, she admitted.

But he didn't owe her anything.

Bo Xia thought Jin Yunyan would understand and accept it, but he didn't. He was thinking about what she had just said. The person she had a crush on was just a place to rely on, so could it be anyone else? Jin Yunyan suppressed his emotions and gently helped her brush her hair aside: "Who said it has nothing to do with me?"

"Maybe it didn't matter before, but it does now." Jin Yunyan kissed her wet eyes, looking so solemn, "Because the person you love now loves you too."