I can't breathe.

Jin He was held tightly in An Yi's arms, deprived of any chance to breathe. He bit her like a madman. Jin He couldn't help but reach out and punch An Yi's shoulder, but An Yi restrained her with one hand.

An Yi looked down at Jin He, who was panting in his arms, his lips red and glistening with moisture. He couldn't help but reach out and wipe his lips.

As Jin He caught his breath, he looked up at him. The fierce look in An Yi's eyes seemed genuine. He stood up, but felt something hard pressing against his waist.

Jin He: "..."

An Yi silently reached out and touched Jin He's chest, only to find his heart pounding like a drum. He immediately picked Jin He up and put him back on the bed.

"Then...then I'll go take a shower..." Just as he was about to get up, An Yi bent down and took out a small medicine box from the bedside table. After Jin He took the medicine, he turned around and walked into the bathroom, slamming the door shut.

Then the sound of splashing water came from inside.

Jin He: "..."

This is allowed?!

He might not even survive the surgery; every time he gets to sleep with someone, it's one less chance he can do it. Every time he gets to sleep with someone, it's a bonus! How could An Yi not understand this?

An Yi didn't know how long he had been in the bathroom, so long that Jin He was getting a little bored. He put on his slippers and knocked on the bathroom door. "An Yi, I'm serious, why don't you sleep with me this time?"

There was no sound from the bathroom. Jin He continued, "I don't know how much longer I have to live, or whether the surgery will be successful. Every time I sleep with you, it's one less time I can have. You've helped me so much, and I don't have anything to repay you with. If you don't mind, you should sleep with me."

“That keychain… just pretend you didn’t see it.” Jin He’s nose tingled as she said this. “You’d better not like me anymore. You can like someone else more than me. I have nothing else to give you except this body.”

"You might not even be able to have this body anymore after a while, then you'll have suffered a huge loss."

Jin He felt that An Yi must have had the worst luck in eight lifetimes to have met him. An Yi was terrible in the group and did whatever he wanted in his relationship. An Yi's originally smooth life was now ruined by him.

“I’m serious,” Jin He said. “You should also seriously consider the proposal I’m about to make.”

"Jin He!"

An Yi's shout was so loud for the first time that it startled Jin He. Jin He touched his wildly beating heart and was about to say something when he saw the bathroom door suddenly being pulled open. An Yi, wearing a bathrobe, stood in the doorway glaring at him angrily.

Why are you so angry?

"Angry?" An Yi sneered. "Yes, I should be angry, because in the heart of the person I've liked since I was twenty, I'm just a lustful scoundrel. What do you take me for? What do you take yourself for?!"

"Who else could it be? Am I not telling the truth?"

"Is this the truth in your eyes?!"

Jin He shrank back as he was yelled at; he didn't know why An Yi had suddenly gotten angry.

“My dad taught me from a young age that I should cherish the people I like.” After An Yi finished shouting, Jin He’s eyes also turned red, and he looked even more upset than An Yi. “But the people I like have never treated me like a human being.”

"You said such nice things back then, that you wanted to be yourself."

"So who are you now?" An Yi took a step closer. "You're eager to meet Xiao Miao's boyfriend's parents, you're his brother, and you're eager to sleep with me, but you don't even have a legitimate reason."

"Do you even consider yourself a human being? Jin He, aren't you tired?"

Jin He looked at An Yi, her eyes flickering.

“I think you need to calm down,” An Yi said. “Once you’ve figured out what identity you want to live in this world as in the future, then we can continue.”

He turned and left after he finished speaking. The room was empty and silent. Jin He could even hear the whistling wind outside the window.

Because of the special nature of his work, An Yi couldn't choose public places to drown his sorrows in alcohol, so he could only go to a club and ask for a private room, and ordered all kinds of alcohol. As soon as Lin Nian entered the private room, she smelled a pungent smell of alcohol.

The private room was empty except for An Yi. Love songs played from the stereo echoed in the empty room. An Yi was holding a wine bottle and staring blankly at the electronic screen.

"Didn't you never drink to protect your voice?" Lin Nian walked over and snatched the bottle from his mouth. "What's wrong with you?"

He and Jin He usually just bickered, but he could tell that An Yi was genuinely upset right now.

"You like me..."

An Yi smiled, and a tear that was about to fall from her eye twitched and landed on the back of her hand with a soft thud. "He likes me, he... loves me."

"But……"

“But he doesn’t like himself.” An Yi raised his hand and wiped away the tears on his cheeks. “I can’t imagine how sad he must have been when he said he wanted to break up.”

He was clearly half-drunk, his speech was slurred and incoherent. Lin Nian managed to piece together the truth from his words, but she couldn't say anything, since it was a matter between the young couple.

"Xiao He... has lived like this his whole life, you should understand."

“A lifetime? But he’s only twenty-five this year. Does twenty-five mean a lifetime?” An Yi said. “Are habits really that hard to break? I got used to him leaving me back then.”

Such self-deceptive words cannot even fool himself.

"What else can we do? It's better to be indifferent than to be indifferent." Lin Nian sat next to him and poured him a glass of low-alcohol liquor.

"It's not wrong for you to teach him to care about himself, but now he probably thinks you're being unreasonable. How can you be so naive at almost thirty?"

"For no reason? Isn't it normal for me to be angry?"

“You have to consider his overall situation. He’s used to trading. If you suddenly treat him well without expecting anything in return, he’ll definitely feel uncomfortable. He’ll rack his brains trying to figure out how to repay you, but…” Lin Nian said, giving An Yi a knowing look.

But now, Jin He has no bargaining chips left besides his physical appearance.

“This is quite difficult.” Lin Nian patted An Yi’s shoulder. “But if you’re feeling down right now, you can come out for a drink with me. But who can Xiao He turn to when he’s feeling down? He hasn’t had a single friend in all these years, just a little sister, and she’s all grown up now.”