Floating White

Ah Xiang and I didn't go to my uncle's Lingtai Temple, but followed the mistress back to the Yan family.

I went back to the Yan family not to take care of my "sick" mistress. My mistress took me back to Yongfufang, of course... to... torture me to her heart's content.

She despised me and I despised her.

The mistress ordered me to marry a member of the Zheng family. She asked me to marry Concubine Zheng’s brother.

The Zheng of the mistress of the Yan family is the same Zheng as the Concubine Zheng in the palace.

I hate it so much.

They are not side branches, not distant relatives, but a family with close blood ties.

The elder brother of Concubine Xian, the young man from the Zheng family, is the Shaoqing of the Taichang Temple - Zheng Shaoqing.

My sister-in-law told me that Zheng Shaoqing was willing to abandon the surname Zheng, marry into the Yan family, marry into the Luoyang Marquis Mansion, and was even more willing to marry me.

Who Mr. Zheng wants to marry is none of my business.

I don't want to.

I have scars on my face and my ears don't work well.

But there is no other fiefdom with 22,000 households in Chang'an or in the whole world.

The Marquis of Luoyang married into the Zheng family. The entire Zheng clan insulted and cursed me behind my back. The whole family laughed at me and called me a bastard. Poor me, I couldn't hear a word and just let them bully and humiliate me...

He enjoys my title and fiefdom, yet in the end he still accuses me of marrying above my station.

Let the world praise the Zheng family for their kindness and taking me in. Sooner or later, the Zheng family will eat me until not even a bone is left.

The mistress of the Yan family is hypocritical, falsely righteous, and has a dagger hidden behind her smile. She is good at scheming and plotting, and comes up with thousands of new and strange ways to persecute me every day.

She returned the dowry left to me by my grandfather to its original owner and gave it back to me.

Are you really going to give it back to me?

She wanted to give her grandfather's money to Zheng Shaoqing with a legitimate reason.

She pretended to be a kind person and pushed me into the fire pit. In terms of pure evil, compared with Rudi's biological grandfather and stepmother, the mistress of the Yan family is even worse.

Seeing that I have lost my status as Crown Princess and Queen and cannot bring glory to the Yan family, she comes to torture me again. Can I let her humiliate me as she did when I was a child?

"Matricide" is a serious crime, and "mother-killing" is a great crime.

All the sadness and misery in this life comes from her. I wish I could cut off her head with a piece of white silk, take good care of her, and send her to heaven with my own hands.

If I don't kill her, I won't be able to get rid of the years of hatred I've felt.

I thread a needle and I tattoo.

If my sister-in-law and nephew hadn't desperately tried to stop me, I would have almost sewn up the mistress's mouth and embroidered a blood-red flower on it. That would have been quiet and beautiful...

When I go back to the Yan family, I go back to the Yan family courtyard, the courtyard that Shanhua and I share, and also the courtyard that Axiang and I share.

We're going today and will never set foot in the Yan family again. Ah Xiang and I still have some old things to take away.

Unfortunately, a rainstorm suddenly came at dusk.

The rain continued all night and did not stop until dawn the next day.

The rain trapped Ah Xiang and me, and this was also my last night at Yan's house.

Sunrise and rain drenched the summer morning.

After a night of heavy rain, the courtyard was in ruins.

The wall shared by the Prince of Yue's Mansion and the Yan family's residence, which served as a barrier separating the two mansions, was washed away by the pouring rain.

Ah Xiang stepped on the collapsed bricks and stones and looked outside the wall.

"Madam, look!" she exclaimed.

Why exclaim in surprise? On the other side of the wall is the Prince of Yue's Palace. We have lived there before. What's so special about it?

"This is the prince's... no... the saint's..."

Ah Xiang was shouting, but it was a bit far away, so I could only hear her intermittently.

When I got closer, I looked in the direction of the sound.

On the other side of the wall was once the residence of the Prince of Qing. I looked at it carefully.

This courtyard wall used to be high, but now it is short.

I originally thought that the saint and I were from different worlds, separated by the vast sea of ​​galaxies and people.

Unexpectedly, we have lived next door to each other since childhood.

Two places, two people, separated by only a wall.

The wall is as thick as a mountain and as thin as paper.

Crying can be heard, laughter can be heard.

I never thought about it outside the wall.

Fortunately, the wall is clearly neither too high nor too low.

But it is a chasm that is difficult to cross, with the Milky Way on one side and the Yellow Springs on the other, just like "the heaven and the man are forever separated".

Both sides of the wall are actually the boundaries of another world.

People died and walls fell.

Things have changed and people have forgotten everything. The kindness of the past has also collapsed like a wall.

Shanhua is dead, my brother is dead, and there is not much left for me to cherish about the Yan family and this small courtyard...

"It's daybreak, the rain has stopped, let's go."

I no longer reminisced about my stay and said to Ah Xiang.

After leaving the Yan family and Prince Qing's residence, Ah Xiang and I did not go to the Luoyang Marquis' Mansion, but fled to the apricot forest outside the city.

The kings, princes, generals and ministers in the capital could not leave Jingzhao without an imperial edict.

Leaving Taiji Palace, leaving Chang'an City, I am no longer in Taiji Palace, no longer in Chang'an City, and no longer in Furong Garden. The farthest I can reach is the apricot forest outside the city.

The apricot forest outside Chang'an City was the dowry left to me by my nominal grandfather.

Because foxes, ghosts and monsters often appeared, the mistress abandoned them like a worn-out shoe.

Back then, in order to give Yuan Xiao a place to live, I gave him the apricot forest.

But Yuan Xiao treated it as a government matter and worked diligently every day, taking care of every blade of grass and every tree, making them look beautiful and presentable.

In summer, send yellow fresh fruits, and in autumn, send beeswax-colored dried apricots.

Over the years, Yuan Xiao has been constantly cultivating and pruning the apricot forest. Finally, the foxes and ghosts no longer come to the apricot forest, and there are no more civet cats and raccoon dogs.

The three courts convened to try Prince Ping, and the court was anxious to handle the case.

I took advantage of the chaos to grab back all of Ru Di's poems, calligraphy, and chess manuals from the Pingwang residence and Feng family. Time passed too quickly and things were too urgent. Ru Di's calligraphy was not much, and it was mixed with the shabby handwriting of the traitor Li San. The good and the bad were all mixed together, and I took them all with me.

Ru Di is in Guizhou, suffering from hard labor every day. I send her money and write letters. If I ask someone to write for her, it would be hypocritical. I can't even bear the hardship of studying, so how can I comfort Ru Di to endure the hardships of farming?

Summer brings another disease.

Princess Zhaoyang is sick again.

The princess has been weak since childhood and has been ill for several times a year. This year, Zhaoyang was sent to the Guanyin Zen Temple of the Princess of Liang State. Concubine Tong took care of her personally, and I visited her from time to time.

I remember one day, I was in an apricot grove, studying hard in front of the window. Suddenly, I looked up and saw three people with six eyes staring at me eagerly.

Princess Huayang's eyes were wide open and she was furious. Anyang held her new baby in her arms, her little mouth raised higher than the branches.

"Yan Bingli——"

Princess Huayang was furious.

"Yan Feixian, you bastard!"

Li Wanwan started cursing.

"We agreed that none of us would study, none of us would be able to read. What are you doing? Reading? You're actually reading? You're actually reading in secret? You're secretly learning? You're leaving me and Anyang illiterate... Luoyang, just wait and see how I deal with you..."

I stayed indoors and read secretly, leaving the two eldest princesses Huayang and Anyang illiterate. I secretly studied hard and made the two princesses illiterate in name only.

"Sister is a traitor..." Anyang shouted loudly.

Huayang and Anyang were afraid that I was depressed, so they came to find me and play with me, but they saw that I had betrayed the Li sisters alone.

Huayang snatched the "evil thing" from my hand, threw it on the ground, and stepped on and kicked it again and again.

I was laughing so hard. The eldest princess said she would tie me to an apricot tree and dry me up in the sun. I had to think of a way to argue.

"My ears are already inconvenient. If I can't read and disobey my orders again, how can I survive?" I laughed so hard that I was out of breath.

The princesses didn't listen to my nonsense. Prince Consort Shen trembled with fear and hurriedly picked up the "evil thing" and put it on the desk.

The characters and poems that Ah Xiang knew were no longer enough. Coincidentally, the Princess of Liyang was entrusted by the Empress Dowager to come and see me in person.

Empress Dowager Feng is busy with state affairs, Concubine Tong is taking care of a sick daughter, and the two noble ladies in Taiji Palace each have their own children. I am content that they occasionally remember me.

I was uneducated as a child, and worked hard from morning till night. The Princess of Liyang said that my life was upside down and disorganized.

There are many things I don't understand about the poems and books on paper and the classic essays, so I asked Princess Liyang to recommend a famous teacher to me.

A few days later, Liyang brought Xier to me from Taiji Palace.

Xi'er, she had a clever face with a hundred flowers, adorned with the most beautiful colors of flowers.

She has a smart appearance, quick wit, and her cheeks are embroidered with beautiful talent. When she came, she added a lot of bright colors to my medical field.

Eat together, live together, and talk closely.

It was several days later that I remembered to ask questions.

I asked Xi'er, "You are so outstanding in appearance and talent, but you are not a female official in the Sixth Bureau? Why have I never seen you in the palace? You just entered the Taiji Palace?"

"I have been staying in the palace for a long time. I am the descendant of a criminal. My father was a minister in the palace of Prince Xiang. I hope the marquis will take me in..."

Xier knelt down hurriedly and told me all her life story.

If I don't take her in, she will return to the palace.

"Are there any family members still alive?" I asked.

"Jiaci is still alive, and there are many sisters..."

Xier said, Ah Xiang whispered it to me.

I have a mother, an older sister, and a younger sister. I am not alone in this world.

Even if she wants to kill me, she also has countless soft spots. We are enemies, rivals, and mortal enemies. I can't help but sigh.

I will never forget the Princess of Yuyang until I die. I remember her abilities and means of revenge, and I can't help but feel a lingering fear. But the matter is done, the "marriage" is done, and I have no reason to send Xier back to Taiji Palace.

Xier, you are as ethereal and clear as spring water. I couldn't resist your talent and beauty, and for some unknown reason I finally kept her.

I pick sweet apricots, dry them in the sun, study books every day, read poetry, and cultivate my character. I don’t meet any real enemies, no real rivals, and no real opponents. My life is comfortable and peaceful, and each day passes by comfortably and slowly like a gurgling stream.

In Xingzilin, there is no careful planning, no intrigue, and no life-and-death struggle.

I slowly forgot Chang'an, slowly forgot the Yan family, slowly forgot the past, and slowly had no more contact with the Li family of Taiji Palace...

All sounds are clear and bright, and the breeze is blowing gently.

On days like this, even if the supreme gods drive me away, I will not leave.