Chapter 127 The one who saved her as a child was actually Xiao…

Yingxue stared blankly at Yan Jiarou. The thing she feared most since seeing Yan Jiarou kill Xiao Che had finally happened.

She had no idea what she had done.

Without her knowledge, she killed the person she loved most.

This is too cruel for her.

She was her closest person, her master, and her most beloved younger sister. Compared to her, Xiao Che naturally seemed insignificant. She thought Yan Jiarou was the kindest person. Since she would stab Xiao Che in the vital spot, it must be because he had done something to wrong her. She wanted to vent her anger, and Xiao Jue would clean up the mess for her. Whether Xiao Che lived or died was none of her business. All her likes and dislikes were based on Yan Jiarou.

But what if Yan Jiarou had no idea that the knife would cost him his life?

This is exactly what she is most worried about.

And this has indeed happened.

She had never seen Yan Jiarou in such agony, almost hysterically asking her: "How could this be?! How could this be... I clearly didn't stab his vital point, how could he die? How could he die!"

She could only try to calm her down, but to no avail. She seemed to be in a desperate situation, her mind was in a daze, and she even started to hurt herself.

This terrified Yingxue, who cried and hugged her, saying, "Master... my dear master... please don't frighten me. No matter what, you can't abuse your body... You ask me why, but I can't answer. Today I saw His Highness the Crown Prince looking calm and unsurprised, as if he already knew the whole story. Perhaps only he can help you understand..."

Yan Jiarou suddenly realized what was happening and murmured, "Yes, he knows, he must know... He taught me to stab Xiao Che there, he must know why, he must know, I have to ask him... I must go find him and get to the bottom of this!"

With that, he burst out of the door and ran all the way to the East Palace.

Su Quan stopped her at the palace gate. He saw that her hair was disheveled, her expression was dazed, and there were several fresh red marks on her fair neck, as if they had been made by a hairpin. Something seemed wrong, so he said he wanted to go in and inform Xiao Jue. Yan Jiarou, however, was not about to waste words with him. She immediately pulled out the hairpin and held it to her neck, tilting her head back and saying, "Let me in to see Xiao Jue immediately, or I'll die right here in front of you, and let's see if Xiao Jue will take his anger out on you!"

Seeing that the sharp end had pierced the skin, blood beads immediately seeped out slowly along the hairpin and rolled onto the snow-white collarbone, a sight that was truly shocking.

Su Quan was startled. He had always seen this little princess as delicate, docile and obedient. When had she ever acted so wildly?

Fearing something might go wrong and Xiao Jue would blame him, he quickly stepped aside, saying, "Princess, please..."

——

Yan Jiarou rushed into the East Palace without regard for anything else, heading straight for the inner court through the Chongming Gate, shouting, "Xiao Jue, come out! Come out here right now! I have something to ask you, come out and see me immediately!"

In the end, her voice trembled with sobs: "Where did you take Xiao Che? Give him back to me..."

Unfortunately, the palace was completely deserted, and no one responded to her.

She leaned against the wall, her body slowly sliding down, enveloped by immense despair.

She buried her head in her knees and finally burst into uncontrollable sobs.

Suddenly, there was a loud bang, like the sound of porcelain shattering, followed by the faint sound of a woman's sharp scream.

Yan Jiarou suddenly looked up, stood up, and walked step by step in the direction from which the sound came.

On the northeast side of Chongwen Hall, a study room was specially set up, and the sound came from inside.

The study door was not fully closed. Yan Jiarou stood behind the palace door and peered inside, only to find that Ji Le was also there!

She stood before Xiao Jue, her voice hoarse as she questioned him: "Is this how Your Highness breaks your promises! When I cooperated with you, you found someone skilled in ventriloquism to impersonate Xiao Che, deliberately staging that scene with me at the Bixian Pavilion, making Yan Jiarou misunderstand that Xiao Che was having an affair with me and that you were only using her, thus making her determined to sever her ties with Xiao Che..."

"What did you say back then? You said that all Yan Jiarou needed to do was take a lock of Xiao Che's hair, but now, she has taken his life!"

Xiao Jue casually stroked his palm, a slight smile playing on his lips: "Please forgive me, Miss Ji Le. I simply misremembered the cure for that strange illness."

"Mistaken? Your Highness's casual remark cost Xiao Che his life, and nearly cost me my life too!"

"Is this how a crown prince of a nation breaks his word?"

"Oh? It's a pity your beloved prince is already dead. When a person dies, it's like a lamp going out. No matter how resentful you are, Miss Ji Le, what can you do?"

Ji Le's eyes narrowed, revealing a murderous intent: "At least, I can still help him get revenge!" As she spoke, she suddenly took out a dagger from her bosom, its cold light gleaming, and thrust it at Xiao Jue.

Just as the sword was about to pierce his chest, Ji Le suddenly felt a numbness and weakness in his wrist, and couldn't muster any strength at all.

The tingling and numb sensation gradually spread throughout her body, and she quickly collapsed to the ground. Only then did she finally come to her senses, turning her head to look at the Boshan incense burner on the table, from which wisps of white smoke were rising: "The incense... there's something wrong with this incense..."

Xiao Jue smiled sinisterly, "Not bad," as he slowly approached her, looking down at her, "I have witnessed Miss Ji Le's skills. Do you think I would be so stupid as to let you in without making any preparations?"

As he said this, he slowly squatted down, picked up the dagger that had fallen to the ground, and examined it carefully in his hand: "Miss Ji Le's heart for my third brother is truly as clear as the sun and moon."

"It's a pity that we're now separated by life and death, which is truly regrettable... Hmm, how about this, since you helped me before, why don't I grant you this one last time?"

His expression changed drastically after speaking, and he plunged the dagger straight into her abdomen. The blade pierced her flesh, and Ji Le's eyes widened in shock, blood gushing from her mouth: "You...you..."

Xiao Jue stood in the shadows behind the window, his face obscured, only the sharp curve of his lips visible, which gave off a somewhat eerie feeling: "What? You like Xiao Che so much, why don't you go down and keep him company? He was no match for you when he was alive, and now that he's finally dead, are you really willing to abandon him? I'm helping you out. Hahahaha..."

"Go in peace, and consider it one last favor to me—the fewer people in this world who know how Xiao Che died, the better. Cui Lingyi has the backing of the Cui family, so I will spare her life for now. As for you, you were not originally a member of the Wei clan. Since your master is a wicked concubine and her son, then when they go to the Yellow Springs, you should go with them to join them!"

As he spoke, he pulled the dagger out of his hand, and blood gushed out instantly, splattering on his face, making him look like a demon from hell.

When Yan Jiarou saw this scene at the door, she was so frightened that she almost lost her soul and screamed "Ah!"

Hearing the noise, Xiao Jue inside the door suddenly looked up, his eyes filled with a sinister light. However, when he saw the person's face clearly, his expression gradually softened: "Jia Rou..."

Still shaken, Yan Jiarou didn't care about anything else at this moment. She stumbled in and looked at Ji Le, who lay on the ground with her eyes wide open. She tremblingly reached out to check Ji Le's breath, but when she touched Ji Le's nose, she abruptly withdrew her hand, her face deathly pale, and said, "You...you killed her..."

Xiao Jue said dismissively, "She's just a lowly maid; there's no need to take her to heart."

But when he saw Yan Jiarou's pale face, he frowned slightly and went over to help her with heartache: "You must have been frightened, right? Our Jiarou has always been timid... Why didn't you let someone come in first to let us know?"

Yan Jiarou looked up at him. Although she felt sorry for Ji Le's death, she didn't need to take it to heart. After all, she had also lied to him and indirectly caused Xiao Che's death!

The thought of this made her feel like her internal organs were ache so badly that she curled up in pain. Her eyes reddened as she stared intently at him: "I heard it all! I heard everything you and Ji Le were saying just now!"

"The person I saw in the bamboo forest that day was not Xiao Che at all, it was you and Ji Le. You lied to me... You made me misunderstand Xiao Che!"

As she spoke, her expression became dazed again, and she kept asking, "Where is Xiao Che? Where did you hide him... Give him back to me, give him back to me!"

It was naturally unpleasant to have your beloved call out another man's name. Xiao Jue felt a surge of anger within him. He closed his eyes tightly, gripped her shoulders, and said, "He's dead!"

"No, no!" Yan Jiarou suddenly lost control of her emotions and struggled to break free from his grasp. "You're lying to me! You're all lying to me! Xiao Che won't die. He's from Lanling. He won't die so easily!"

"Oh? Is that so?" he said quietly. "Then why don't you take a look at the marks left by the lewd fox on your body? Are they still there?"

Yan Jiarou's face turned deathly pale instantly.

Xiao Jue observed her expression, and the corners of his lips slowly curved upwards: "Gone, is that it? Do you know how to sever the bond between you two? Why didn't the mute doctor tell you back then that this strange illness could be cured?"

Yan Jiarou's lips trembled as she stammered, "Why..."

"Because that method requires a life for a life. This disease was originally incurable. Only if Xiao Che dies can the bond between you two be completely severed. How could the mute doctor easily tell you such a deadly method? Jia Rou, it was I who threatened him with the life of his only daughter to get this method for you. You should thank me."

Yan Jiarou staggered back half a step, completely disoriented, shaking her head repeatedly: "No...no...it can't be like this...how could he die? I clearly didn't stab his vital point..."

"Who said you didn't stab his vital point?" Xiao Jue said quietly, "Jiarou, you don't know this, do you? On the very first day you returned to the palace from Huaizhou, the mirror pouch containing the secret of Xiao Che's vital point was already switched by me."

Yan Jiarou looked up abruptly: "What did you say?!"

Xiao Jue slowly smiled: "Don't you remember? It was that time when you came back from Huaizhou and heard that I was seriously injured and fell from my horse. You came to the East Palace to visit me immediately. You didn't even have time to take off the sachet you always wore. Jia Rou, I was really touched by your concern for me."

"It's a pity you came to see me, but you had to say such heart-wrenching things. You said you had fallen in love with someone else, that you had fallen for Xiao Che, and that you had even... you had an affair with him! Jia Rou, do you know how much it hurt me when I heard those words? It was you! You said you only loved me and that you would marry me when you grew up! I respected and loved you, which is why I always treated you with respect and never dared to overstep the bounds, but in the end you and Xiao Che..."

He took a deep breath to calm the increasingly intense anger within him, then curled his lips into a twisted smile: "But it doesn't matter, he's dead after all. Now, you're mine, mine alone."

"As for how he died—that day you came to the East Palace and confessed your affair with Xiao Che. I noticed the sachet you wore at your waist. You said it was a gift from Xiao Che, but after saying that, you seemed to regret speaking, stammering and refusing to continue. Jia Rou, I know you too well. You are simple-minded and can never keep a secret. Considering that Xiao Che had just done that with you, he must have been excited and would have given you something. I guessed that the sachet probably contained his secret."

"So I gave Su Quan a look and told him to deliberately spill tea on you. While you were changing, I took your sachet, opened it, and wow, it didn't disappoint me. It's no wonder my third brother is so indifferent to others. He never even glanced at so many women, but he secretly loved you for so many years. Now that his wish has come true, he'd give his life for you. That sachet contains his Achilles' heel."

“Using the techniques of recessed relief and broken edges of seal carving, I can replicate the handwriting. I simply changed ‘one inch below the third rib on the right chest’ to ‘one inch below the third rib on the left chest’, and then put the modified note back into your brocade pouch. All of this is done without anyone noticing, and you may never have realized it. After all, it is really easy to deceive you.”

"The note was switched, so the stab you just made was precisely aimed at his weak point."

Yan Jiarou felt her head spin, and she lunged at him like a madwoman: "You...you lied to me, it was all a setup by you, you killed Xiao Che..."

"You...you..." She turned around, picked up the dagger from the ground, and made as if to stab him: "I'm going to kill you!"

But he easily grabbed her wrist: "I killed him?"

“Jiarou, at most I was just using someone else to do the dirty work. You are the one who stabbed him in the heart and delivered the fatal blow.”

He looked at her and said, word by word, almost cruelly, "It was you who killed Xiao Che with your own hands."

Yan Jiarou clutched her head in anguish, shaking her head repeatedly, saying, "No...it wasn't me...I didn't! I didn't want to kill him! It was you, you lied to me!"

She was in so much pain that she couldn't accept Xiao Che's death. She was plunged into deep despair and regret, unable to extricate herself from the quagmire of self-blame. So she could only blame Xiao Che's death on Xiao Jue, as if only in this way could she feel a little better.

But what can be done? Xiao Che will never come back; she has lost him...

She collapsed to the ground, either unwilling to accept it or still clinging to a sliver of hope, murmuring, "Where is Xiao Che...? Where is Xiao Che...? I won't believe it until I see it with my own eyes... He's not dead... He can't be dead..."

Seeing her so desperate for Xiao Che, Xiao Jue felt a surge of anger and sneered, "He's dead, completely lifeless, utterly dead. Didn't I say that the mark that lewd fox left on you could not be removed without Xiao Che's death? Now that the mark has completely faded, don't you understand in your heart whether Xiao Che is truly dead or not?"

Yan Jiarou trembled and said in a trembling voice, "I want to see him alive or dead. Where is Xiao Che? I want to see him! Let me see him!"

“His body has already been taken out of the palace by Cui Lingyi. She was obsessed with Xiao Che because she couldn’t have him. Now that he’s dead, she won’t even let go of his body. She’s determined to take it with her. I have something on her that I can’t do, so I have to give in to her. It’s not that I’m deliberately preventing you from seeing Xiao Che’s body. It’s just that I don’t. Since he’s already dead, it’s not a bad thing for you to see it with your own eyes and give up completely.”

"But then again, Jiarou, even if you get his body, so what?" he said quietly. "Do you think Xiao Che, if he knew in the afterlife, would want you to see his body? He hates you to the core, and I'm afraid he wouldn't want to see you again, whether he's alive or a ghost."

"And you? Do you have the face to see him again?"

Yan Jiarou trembled and her shoulders hunched.

Xiao Jue smiled with satisfaction, squatted down, and whispered comforting words in her ear: "Alright, he's dead, so be it. How can your strange illness be cured if he doesn't die?"

“You’ve slept with him for so long, it’s inevitable that you’ve developed some feelings for him. It’s understandable that you’re heartbroken for now. Jia Rou, I will understand you, but don’t make me understand you for too long.” As he spoke, he couldn’t help but lean close to her neck, greedily inhaling her scent, and said in a hoarse voice, “Jia Rou, I will make you happy soon. Just wait a little longer, and then you will be able to completely forget Xiao Che.”

Yan Jiarou suddenly laughed, slowly turning her face to look at him, her expression desolate: "Kill me."

“I can’t kill you, so kill me instead, just like you killed Ji Le. Kill me to silence me and eliminate any future trouble.”

Xiao Jue frowned, reached out and stroked her cheek, and said softly, "What nonsense are you talking about? I've watched you grow up since you were little, how could I bear to kill you?"

"Is that so..." Yan Jiarou gave a bitter laugh, and suddenly, taking advantage of his unpreparedness, she raised the dagger and stabbed it into her own heart: "Then I'll kill myself!"

She felt she owed Xiao Che something, so she decided to repay him with her life. Besides, living like this was worse than death anyway.

Xiao Jue was right about one thing: even knowing that Xiao Che was with Cui Lingyi, she didn't have the face to ask him to come back.

He must hate her to death for treating him like that.

I'm afraid he'd rather be reduced to ashes than return to her side.

It's fine to leave it with Cui Lingyi.

They were a perfect match from the start. If Xiao Che had loved her, he wouldn't have had to go through all this; he might have gotten what he wanted long ago.

She couldn't help him at all, and now she's killed him with her own hands.

In the past, no matter what mistakes she made, Xiao Che would always choose to forgive her, but she knew that this time would be different.

Xiao Che will never forgive her again, and she herself cannot forgive herself.

Perhaps only death can bring true liberation.

Unfortunately, Xiao Jue wouldn't even give her the chance to commit suicide.

He gripped her wrist tightly, snatched the dagger from her hand, and threw it far away.

"Yan Jiarou!" He gripped her shoulders tightly, his heart filled with shock, a mixture of fear and anger. His eyes blazing with fury, he cried out, "Have I spoiled you too much?!"

"So that's why you're so lawless?! You want to die for Xiao Che? Let me tell you, don't even think about it!"

"If you dare to do such a thing again, I will make everyone in Chenghuan Palace pay with their lives! The first one I'll kill is Yingxue!"

Yan Jiarou flinched.

Xiao Jue snorted coldly, stood up, and said, "You'd better watch yourself!" before turning and leaving.

Yan Jiarou slowly curled up, wrapped her arms around her knees, and finally cried out in despair.

——

Emperor Wei Xi fell into a coma from that day on, and Xiao Che died in the palace turmoil. Naturally, Xiao Jue assumed imperial power and became regent.

Yan Jiarou was practically imprisoned in Chenghuan Palace by him, and all the people around her, except for Yingxue, were replaced by his own people.

She was in a daze all day and even became addicted to alcohol. For the first time in her life, she realized that alcohol was such a good thing.

When you get drunk, you can temporarily forget your worries and pain. Those moments that are unbearable when you are sober can pass in an instant once you numb them with alcohol.

Unfortunately, she was still too young. If nothing unexpected happened, she would have many more decades to live. For the first time, she felt that being born as a human was far too long compared to being a floating creature, and it even felt like a punishment.

Fortunately, alcohol was still available, and alcohol could be used to cheat. In a daze, a day passed by, and this was the only way to pass the long years.

The only downside is that whenever you get drunk, you always wake up eventually.

Even if you have to continue immediately, you can still get a moment of clarity.

Even this brief moment was an unbearable ordeal for her.

It's ridiculous. Before the strange illness was cured, she hated its frequent flare-ups. Even though Xiao Che never used the illness to blackmail or humiliate her, she was still extremely unwilling. She felt that being plagued by the illness made her feel controlled by others. Especially when it flared up, she felt like a beast in heat, with no dignity whatsoever. It made her think about him every moment. How could that not be a form of torture?

So he was determined to cure this strange disease.

But now that she's cured, her longing for him hasn't lessened at all; in fact, it's intensified.

In the past, whenever she missed him, she could go to him immediately, and he would kiss her gently, caress her, and give her whatever she wanted.

But now that she misses him, where can she find him?

She searched high and low, but could never find him again.

In the end, she completely lost him...

It's ridiculous that she's become like this for him, yet back then I doubted whether she truly loved him.

The strange illness has been cured, and the fox that was infatuated with Xiao Che can no longer bother her.

Now that things have come to this, she finally has to recognize her own feelings. She likes Xiao Che, much more than she thought, and it's not because she's been bewitched by a fox spirit.

She was finally able to clearly understand her own feelings, but unfortunately, the price was far too high.

She killed the person she loved most with her own hands.

So every moment she was lucid afterward felt like a long, agonizing torture.

Death, ironically, became a relief.

Unfortunately, Xiao Jue wouldn't even grant her a way out.

She cannot die; if she dies, Yingxue will not live either.

Thus, they were forced to eke out a living.

She hated Xiao Jue to the core. The more she liked him and was grateful for his life-saving grace when she was a child, the more she hated him now.

She hated him so much that she wished he would die immediately!

Therefore, she also loathed the people he sent.

Although she used to be spoiled, she never mistreated her servants.

But now she couldn't help but take her anger out on them, though she didn't actually do anything. She just threw away the things Xiao Jue had given her before, one by one, saying as she did so, "I've seen them all. Go back and tell your Crown Prince that he's keeping me under such control. I have nothing to do but pass the time like this!"

The people below all knelt down in a rush. She felt increasingly suffocated and only thought about throwing something else. Suddenly, she remembered something else—when she was a child, she fell into the pond and was rescued by Xiao Jue. She tore a jade pendant from his arms and kept it as a souvenir, so she kept it secretly and never returned it to him.

There's no need for that now.

He then found the jade pendant and threw it haphazardly out the window, but it didn't go out; instead, it landed at the feet of an old woman.

The old woman looked down and subconsciously said, "Hey, isn't the script engraved on this jade pendant the script of the Lanling tribe? That's quite strange."

The sound wasn't loud, but Yan Jiarou heard it nonetheless, like a thunderclap from a clear sky.

She turned around abruptly, strode to the old woman, and asked in a trembling voice, "What did you say?!"

The old woman was startled, and only then did she realize that she had unknowingly spoken her thoughts. The Lanling clan was a clan that brought ruin to the country, a wicked and evil clan that brought disaster to the country. It was the most taboo thing in the palace. She knew that she had violated the palace rules and thought that Yan Jiarou was going to make trouble for her because of this. She quickly knelt down and said, "Princess, please forgive me. This old servant was momentarily confused and violated the taboo. I will never dare to do it again."

When Yan Jiarou heard the word "taboo," her heart pounded uncontrollably. She thought her expression must be terrifying to have frightened the old woman: "Repeat what you just said, and I'll pardon you—speak!"

The old woman trembled as she said, "...Yes, yes, this old servant said that the characters engraved on this jade pendant are the script of the Lanling tribe. That was before the previous dynasty was destroyed. I was about the same age as the princess at that time. I was selected to enter the palace and served for a few years, so I know a few characters of Lanling script."

Yan Jiarou's eyes widened suddenly, her ears ringing. She managed to speak, but her voice trembled: "Since you recognize a few characters, tell me, what is engraved on it?"

The old woman responded with a "Yes," carefully examined the engravings, and slowly read aloud: "May my son Xiao Che have a peaceful and prosperous life."

After speaking, he waited for a long time without seeing Yan Jiarou's reaction. He looked up and saw that she was already in tears, as if she had lost her soul. She murmured, "So the person who saved me back then was him... So... the person I've loved all along has always been him..."

Why?! Why?!

She felt as if all her strength had been drained away, and collapsed to the ground, crying out in a hoarse voice, "But Xiao Che, why did you never tell me?"

"I mistook someone for someone else, and I loved the wrong person. For ten whole years, for a whole ten years..."

At this moment, Yingxue came in from the outer room and walked to Yan Jiarou's side. Seeing that she was still in a daze, she first sighed softly, then squatted down and carefully said, "Master, there is something I want to tell you."

"Just now, when I passed by Hanguang Palace, I saw Xue Zhi in the distance. Although the Third Prince... the Empress Dowager has woken up and refuses to believe that the Third Prince has passed away. Therefore, she still allows Xue Zhi and others to stay in Hanguang Palace. When I saw Xue Zhi, I suddenly remembered an old matter. After thinking about it, I still feel that I should tell you."

"You may not know this, but back then you secretly left the palace, begging the Second Prince to take you out. However, the Third Prince was unaware of this beforehand. At that time, you still needed his blood to control your illness, so..."

A thought suddenly surfaced in Yan Jiarou's mind, her heart pounded, and her throat felt terribly dry: "So what..."

"So he first drained his blood and put it into four pouches. Later, since you didn't need them, they were stored in the ice cellar. After you came back and didn't need the blood anymore, I didn't think about those pouches anymore. Now that he is gone... I suppose those pouches containing half of his blood can be considered his keepsake. Master, would you like to take them out and look at them for comfort, or perhaps... let them..."

The words "may he rest in peace" were never uttered.

Yan Jiarou felt another sharp pain in her heart. Having suffered two heavy blows, she was somewhat dazed. After a long while, she finally said, "Give it to me..."

"yes."

When the pouch was brought over, it was still very cold, and the blood had been frozen into chunks. But the moment it was opened, her body's memory recognized that it was Xiao Che's blood before she could.

He couldn't remember how many times he had indulged her by letting her lean against his neck, her sharp canines biting through his skin and then greedily sucking his blood.

At these times, I could always catch a glimpse of him tightening his jaw, as if he was suppressing something.

She knew he was in a lot of pain.

Lanling people feel pain ten times more than ordinary people. She knew that Xiao Che was actually very afraid of pain, but he never said it.

The only time he ever showed weakness was the day she plunged a dagger into his vital spot.

She couldn't imagine how much pain he must have been in, otherwise he would never have said those things to her.

He said, "Yan Yan, it hurts so much, it's so cold..."

But she just stared at him coldly, without showing the slightest emotion.

Regret and self-blame were like a venomous snake, slowly coiling around the back of her neck, then suddenly biting into her heart.

The excruciating pain spread from his heart, churning his internal organs, yet it was still less than one ten-thousandth of what he had suffered that day.

A masochistic pleasure rose in her heart; the more painful it was, the better she felt.

She wished she could feel ten times more pain, just like the pain Xiao Che had suffered in the past.

Only in this way can she feel a little better.

...

She kicked everyone out.

She leaned slumped against the chaise longue, while smoke curled from several tables beside her, but it wasn't the usual sweet and cloying incense; instead, it was agarwood.

Xiao Che always had this kind of aura about him.

She lit the incense, closed the doors and windows tightly, and the scent of agarwood permeated every corner of the palace, giving her the illusion that Xiao Che was still by her side.

She pressed the pouch tightly against her chest, feeling Xiao Che's presence.

I finally felt a long-lost sense of peace in my heart.

The four sacs were much larger than she had imagined; they could probably hold the blood from her lower body.

What was he thinking when he was bleeding? Was he thinking that he had to give more blood in case Yan Yan didn't have enough?

That's why so much blood was drawn...

So much that it resembled the pool of blood that had accumulated in the snow that day.

How could someone bleed so much... How much pain must it have been in?

Those greedy suckings day and night, the four bags filled before the trip to Huaizhou, the fatal knife wound in the snow...

How much blood does she have to bleed him out before she's satisfied?

She was so bad; I never knew she was so bad.

How could she be so cruel to Xiao Che...?

Sure enough, people who do bad things will be punished... For her, being forced to live and consciously experiencing the days and nights without Xiao Che was her greatest punishment.

These relics left behind by Xiao Che are all evidence of his love for her, and they are a belated torture of her.

But she still wouldn't let herself off the hook, as if in self-torture. She began frantically searching for every single item Xiao Che had given her.

She's almost sixteen now, and by all accounts, she's already received more than ten birthday gifts from Xiao Che.

She went to the storeroom and found the congratulatory gifts Xiao Che had given her over the years. These gifts were all packed in brocade boxes, and even the boxes were very exquisite, so it was clear that the contents inside were not perfunctory.

Unfortunately, she never opened it.

In those years, what she looked forward to most was the congratulatory gift from Xiao Jue. As for Xiao Che's congratulatory gift, she accepted it perfunctorily and then immediately forgot about it.

These gifts had been sitting in this dark and gloomy warehouse for who knows how long; the brocade boxes were now covered in a layer of dust.

She reached out and brushed away the accumulated dust, then tremblingly opened the mirror case.

The moment the brocade box was opened, her eyes immediately welled up with tears.

It was a glass lamp equipped with a mechanism, using the mechanical art of the Water-Powered Astronomical Clock Tower. Turning the mechanism not only made the glass lamp rotate slowly, reflecting the spectacular sight of the morning glow reflecting on the waves, but also simulated the surging tides, making people feel as if they were there.

She knew why Xiao Che had given her such a birthday gift: it was because Emperor Wei Xi forbade her to travel far from the palace, and she really wanted to see how magnificent the sunrise over the sea truly was.

He then poured all his observations and experiences into this glass lamp.

Then he handed her the glass lamp that carried his heartfelt wishes with such care.

Little did she know, she had never opened it from beginning to end.

She suppressed the stinging in her nose and opened the remaining birthday gifts with trembling hands.

Every single piece... you can tell that a lot of thought went into them.

She finally understood why Xiao Che had always been against her back then. He must have been angry with her, angry that she had been so perfunctory with every birthday gift she had given him over the years, completely betraying his good intentions.

Over the years, if she had opened even one of his congratulatory gifts, she would have known his feelings for her, but she hadn't, not a single one.

——

When she walked out of the warehouse, looking lost and dejected, and stepped into the courtyard, even as Yingxue held up her umbrella, cold snowflakes still drifted down onto her.

It melted immediately upon touching her warm skin, leaving a refreshing coolness that briefly jolted her awake from her daze.

She paused for a moment, then looked up at the sky. The continuous heavy snow had been falling for several days and had not yet stopped, as if it were waiting for someone.

Even wind and snow have their own concerns.

What else has not yet been witnessed?

Lost in thought, she suddenly remembered Xiao Che's last words to her: "Did you see the two snowmen I built for you in the courtyard..."

Yes! Snowmen! Xiao Che even left her two snowmen!

She quickly turned around and searched, finally spotting two chubby snowmen by the white marble railing in the central courtyard. They were so cute and endearing.

She couldn't help but burst out laughing, but as she laughed, she started crying again.

He remembered the things she said casually.

She said she liked snow, so he actually built two snowmen for her.

She slowly walked over and squatted down in front of the snowman.

Fortunately, the heavy snow continued for the past few days, which saved her snowmen from melting.

She couldn't help but reach out and touch the snowman, feeling its cool touch on her palm.

This snowman was built by Xiao Che himself. Now that she is touching it, can it be considered that she is touching Xiao Che again?

She closed her eyes and quietly felt the traces left by Xiao Che on it.

When I opened my eyes again, I suddenly felt a glimmer of sunshine, but in this snowy weather, and with no sun in sight, where did that glimmer of sunshine come from?

Upon closer inspection, however, it was startling to discover that something seemed to be embedded in front of the snowman.

She reached out and took it down, then looked at it closely and saw that it was a ring!

It was a ring made of a very special material... It was neither set with gemstones nor pearls, but with a material that was both dazzling and extremely hard...

What is that?

It was clearly very rare, yet it looked strangely familiar, as if she had seen it somewhere before…

Suddenly, her eyes widened as a flood of past memories rushed back.

She remembered; she remembered what the ring was called.

That's... a diamond ring.

A few months ago at a temple fair in Huaizhou, she and Xiao Che stopped at a foreign stall, where she was drawn to a ring made of a special material that was dazzling.

The stall owner explained that this is called a diamond ring, and it is set with diamonds. These diamonds are extremely hard and were originally used to cut jade, but after being polished, they are dazzling and have the meaning of eternity, so they were set into rings.

In their tribe, if a man and woman wear a diamond ring, it is as if they have signed a contract. If the man is willing to walk through a path of burning charcoal and pass the test of "true gold is not afraid of fire" to prove his sincerity, then after the diamond ring is prayed for by the shaman, the lovers can grow old together.

Unfortunately, obtaining those miraculous diamond rings would take several months. Yan Jiarou was never an impatient person, and upon hearing that Xiao Che would have to walk a path of burning charcoal, which was no different from the torture in the Ministry of Justice's prison, she was unwilling to let Xiao Che suffer such torment.

Besides, the stall owner's story sounded so mysterious; who knows if it was just a gimmick? Perhaps he saw she was a young girl and didn't seem particularly shrewd, so he was deliberately trying to scam her?

He immediately abandoned the idea and pulled Xiao Che away.

After that, he completely forgot about it.

But she didn't expect Xiao Che to remember it all the time.

She remembered a time when Xiao Che had injured his leg. When she visited him, he wouldn't let her see the wound, saying only that she would understand in the future, and that he would naturally take back the suffering he had endured from her. Had he already crossed the charcoal-burning path by then?

No matter how terrible or severe the wounds of the people of Lanling are, once they heal, they will not leave scars.

Therefore, she never discovered it from beginning to end.

People from Lanling don't suffer from pain, just that they don't get scars.

How much pain must he have suffered from such a serious injury? Would it be as painful as the knife she stabbed into his heart that day?

Why... why did she know nothing before, but now she has to know everything!

Is this retribution...? The cruelty she showed to Xiao Che in the past is now being returned to her.

She looked down at the ring in her hand, and suddenly noticed that there were words engraved on the back.

The rings are a pair, one on each of the snowmen.

She quickly held up the two rings to the light to examine them closely, and saw that they were engraved with her name and his name respectively...

And the phrase, "We will stay together until our hair turns white, and never be apart until death."

Yan Jiarou murmured, "Never to be separated in life or death... Never to be separated in life or death..."

Suddenly, tears streamed down my face.

...

The palace servants who were sweeping nearby had recently heard the heart-wrenching cries of a woman coming from the Lotus Pond, like the mournful cry of a cuckoo, filled with extreme sorrow.

...

Yan Jiarou has been spending her days drinking and living a life of debauchery for the past few days. Fortunately, Xiao Jue has been busy with the affairs of the previous dynasty and seems to have no time to care about her. He comes to see her a few times, and when he sees her in such a depressed and inhuman state, he feels heartbroken and always gets furious. So he limits her drinking.

The amount of wine delivered to her each day was limited, and it was getting less and less.

As a result, she was forced to be more often when she was sober.

Sometimes, when he had finished drinking, he would sit alone by the window, lost in thought, thinking about how his father had used elixirs to relieve his pain, and how wonderful it would be if he had elixirs now.

After the imperial concubine left, it was said that the emperor became increasingly obsessed with elixirs, hoping to meet her in his dreams.

She didn't understand before because Xiao Che had told her that elixirs were not a good thing, and that if one became too addicted to them, it would only harm one's health in the long run.

She had tried to dissuade Emperor Wei Xi from becoming obsessed, but he never listened. At that time, she did not understand that even if the elixir could make people enter a dream and see the person they longed for day and night, bringing them temporary comfort, it was still just a dream. Why would she risk harming her body to become obsessed with this illusion?

But now she understands that there are many things in this world that cannot be truly understood without experiencing them firsthand.

If reality is truly so painful and unbearable, then indulging in fantasies is not wrong.

She thought that Xiao Che truly hated her.

For half a month, he had not appeared in her dreams even once.

...

She has been in a daze for the past few days, but because her alcohol intake is limited, she has been sober for longer periods.

When she was lucid, she would come to the Lotus Pond to keep company with the snowman Xiao Che had built. Only at this time could she find a moment of peace in her heart.

There are two snowmen, one is her, and the other is Xiao Che.

She always leaned against the snowman that represented Xiao Che, treating it as Xiao Che, even though it couldn't embrace her like Xiao Che did, even though its body wasn't as warm as Xiao Che's, but cold and without any temperature.

But she didn't care.

She leaned against him, as if Xiao Che were still beside her, and smiled as she chatted with him.

Just like before, she told him about her dream, but when she woke up she forgot most of it, only vaguely remembering some details. She couldn't piece together a complete scene, but she still told him about it in a jumbled mess.

Or perhaps she'd read some popular novel that included an illustration of the male protagonist, which was highly praised by the elite ladies, who said he had the looks of Wei Jie. As Yan Jiarou spoke, she turned to look at him for a moment and couldn't help but comment, "But I still think he's not as handsome as you!"

Or you could tell him what kind of pastries you'd like to eat...

What could the little girl possibly say to him? It was nothing but meaningless drivel.

However, he never seemed to find it annoying. He would patiently listen to her every time, occasionally kissing her or giving her some verbal response, which is why she enjoyed talking to him about these things.

Looking back now, he was actually very good to her; the only bad thing was that he always liked to bully her.

But it's not really that "bad".

She thought she no longer cared about it at all.

He can bully her however he wants.

Unfortunately, that's no longer possible.

The heavy snow lasted for half a month before it stopped. On the day the sun came out, the snowman gradually melted away under the sunlight.

Yan Jiarou was utterly helpless, crying and pleading, "No...no...please..." She reached out to stop them, but it was all in vain. The melting snow water silently slipped through her fingers.

By sunset, the snowman had completely melted.

Yan Jiarou sat there by the puddle of snowmelt for a long, long time...

She couldn't keep the snowman in the end, just as she could no longer keep Xiao Che.