Chapter 60 "Yan Yan, from beginning to end, has always been..."

Yan Jiarou looked at Xiao Che, and dark lines gradually appeared around his pupils, a sign that the Lanling people were moved.

She frowned, her expression conflicted: "Xiao Che, I... but..."

"What, you don't want to?" Xiao Che turned his head and exhaled irritably. "Then get lost."

"No...no, I'm not unwilling..." She was most afraid of hearing the word "get lost" from Xiao Che's mouth, so she hurriedly grabbed his arm and explained, "Except for that...you can do whatever you want to me..."

She knew that she and Xiao Che had long since crossed the line. She didn't know what their relationship was now, but it was definitely not that of ordinary siblings.

She didn't know how things had turned out this way between her and Xiao Che, but things had already come to this point, and there was no going back anyway. She didn't reject being intimate with Xiao Che; in fact, she became more and more addicted to it.

The sibling relationship has obviously crossed the line, but the romantic relationship is... uncertain.

She always believed that she should like Xiao Jue. If it weren't for the Wild Fox incident, she and Xiao Che would never have had such an encounter in their lives.

How can someone like two people at the same time?

Since she had loved Xiao Jue from the very beginning, what did her feelings for Xiao Che matter? She never considered herself a fickle person who could easily change her mind. She had loved Xiao Jue for ten years; how could she possibly stop loving Xiao Jue just because she had been entangled with Xiao Che for a mere month?

Something must have gone wrong.

Or perhaps her feelings for Xiao Che, though exceeding the boundaries of sibling affection, were not romantic love. After all, everyone has an appreciation for beauty, and Xiao Che, with his handsome appearance, was willing to go to great lengths to coax her, whispering all sorts of flirtatious words and sweet nothings in her ear every day. Any woman would find it hard to resist, so how can you blame her?

Perhaps this is just a temporary infatuation, not true love.

She always lost control in front of Xiao Che, and she didn't like this feeling of being out of control. Shouldn't love be about mutual respect and inner peace, instead of having her heart pounding and easily losing control?

She really couldn't understand it.

She couldn't possibly take the final step with Xiao Che before she was completely clear about her own feelings.

Moreover, although the people of Wei are open-minded, very few women lose their virginity before marriage, unless they are certain that they will marry that man in the future.

But the person she had always wanted to marry since she was a child was Xiao Jue.

In the Great Wei Dynasty, both men and women have a cinnabar dot on the inside of their arms. If they have already had sexual relations with someone, the cinnabar dot will fade away.

What if, what if she is still going to marry Xiao Jue in the future? If Zhu Sha disappears, how is she going to explain it to him?

Just as she was lost in thought, her chin was suddenly lifted up. Their eyes met, and Xiao Che frowned as he looked at her, his gaze scrutinizing her as if he wanted to see right through her.

Seeing her looking worried and deep in thought, his voice suddenly turned cold: "What are you thinking about?"

"Are you thinking that if you agree to my request, the cinnabar mark on your arm will be gone, and you won't be able to explain it to your elder brother, the Crown Prince?"

Yan Jiarou was startled, wondering how he knew. She quickly composed herself and vehemently denied it, saying, "No...no..."

"I...I'm just a little scared..."

She was indeed scared. She felt that she definitely couldn't handle Xiao Che's... She only liked kissing and hugging, not that. She was afraid she would break down. Therefore, she wasn't lying, and her expression was naturally flawless.

Xiao Che's expression softened slightly, and he kissed her earlobe with warm, wet lips: "What are you afraid of? I won't hurt you..."

He said in a hoarse voice, "You'll like it... How will you know if you don't try?"

Yan Jiarou clearly felt the changes in his body. She was utterly devastated, on the verge of tears. She didn't want to die at all: "You...you said I was still too young..."

Xiao Che stroked her half-full breasts with one hand, his tone calm but full of meaning: "Small? I don't think it's small anymore."

“When I first met you, you were just this little…” He let go of my hand and looked down at his palm: “My palm is only this big now, though I was really good at drinking milk.”

He patted her cheek: "So in my memory, you've always been very young, but actually, if you think about it carefully, you're almost sixteen already. You've grown all the way up, and I don't think you can grow much more. You might not be able to grow any bigger in a couple of years."

"Besides, you cry so easily and are so delicate. I think even if I lose control, you can calm me down when you cry, so I can't hurt you."

Yan Jiarou blinked, her expression confused: "Wh...what do you mean?"

Xiao Che laughed: "What do you mean?"

He noticed fine beads of sweat on her fair forehead, guessing that the ginger soup he had coaxed and forced her to drink had taken effect and caused her to develop a fever.

He glanced at her tightly clenched little hands and raised an eyebrow—perhaps because she was sweating from nervousness.

What's there to be nervous about? Is he going to eat her? But... it seems like he really is.

He reached out and wiped her sweat, his tone ambiguous: "What I mean is, I want to eat rabbit meat."

"No explanation is fine. If you let me eat this once, I will naturally believe that there is no possibility between you and Xiao Jue. Then I can completely disregard what you said before."

"Didn't you want to make me feel better? If you agree, I'll definitely feel better."

Yan Jiarou looked at him with difficulty, her body instinctively shifting back: "No...no..."

After saying that, afraid of making him angry, she quickly added, "But apart from this... anything else is fine..."

"Anything else?" Xiao Che scoffed. "Do you think there's anything else we haven't done besides that? Saying that is the same as saying nothing at all."

Yan Jiarou bit her lip, looking at him with teary eyes, as if she couldn't refute anything and was unwilling to give anything, but she still insisted on making him agree to her request, otherwise she would cry in front of him.

Xiao Che: "…………" This ancestor has started again.

He reached up and pinched the space between his eyebrows, and after a long while, he said, "Explain."

"Wh...what?"

Xiao Che glanced at her: "If you're not willing to offer yourself, then give me a proper explanation."

His brow furrowed, as if he didn't want to recall that day: "You'd better give me an explanation that can fool me for what I heard behind the door that day."

He pinched her face and deliberately raised his voice to scare her: "Or I'll force myself on you, you hear me?"

His fair, smooth cheeks, like milk, overflowed eagerly from between his fingers.

Her snow-white cheeks were pinched until they turned a light pink.

Yan Jiarou was indeed startled and flinched, nodding hastily, "I...I heard it."

Xiao Che curled his lips into a smile: "Speak."

“I… what I said that day wasn’t my own intention. It was the Crown Prince… it was Xiao Jue who forced me. His mother had just passed away, and he was extremely saddened. He even seemed to have suicidal thoughts…”

"I dared not answer against his words, and besides, the things I promised him before, those vows, those were indeed spoken by my own mouth, I cannot deny them, and I do not know how to break them..."

"I'm sorry, Xiao Che. I'm a coward. I'm indecisive and wishy-washy when it comes to relationships... I just don't want to hurt any of you. But my feelings for you are definitely not just about using you. Please believe me, okay?"

Xiao Che closed his eyes in annoyance: "Then tell me clearly what you think of me."

Yan Jiarou looked embarrassed: "I..."

Xiao Che gave a very short laugh, grabbed her chin, and stared at her intently, saying, "Don't talk to me about brotherly and sisterly affection."

He took a deep breath, trying his best to suppress the rising anger within him: "Yan Yan, I'll really get angry if you do that."

Yan Jiarou swallowed hard and blurted out, "No...it's not just brotherly and sisterly affection..."

Xiao Che's fingers, which were resting on her face, twitched slightly. He heard his breathing become a little erratic, and his voice softened unconsciously, as if afraid of startling her. He forced back the answer that was on the tip of her tongue: "What is that, hmm?"

Yan Jiarou nuzzled his cheek ingratiatingly, then said somewhat guiltily, "Brother, I...I haven't decided yet..."

Xiao Che paused, then laughed angrily, "You're playing me?"

"No...no, please give me a little more time, okay? Xiao Wenqi, don't force me, please give me a little more time..."

"I forced you? You actually said I forced you?"

Xiao Che grabbed her wrist, his eyes red and his breath trembling: "Explain yourself, what did I force you to do?"

He suddenly seemed to realize something, and gave a very short laugh, saying, "Yan Jiarou, do you say that to everyone?"

"In front of me, you say he forced you, but in front of him, do you say I forced you?"

Jia Rou shook her head, crying, "No, no... it's not like that... Xiao Che, I just want you to give me a little more time. There are some things I haven't even figured out myself. Before I understand my own feelings, there are some things I can't easily say..."

"Is that so? Then why can you say those words so easily to Xiao Jue, but hesitate and waver when you say them to me?"

Xiao Che felt a sharp pain in his heart: "You like him that much?"

"No, Xiao Wenqi, it's different. I've always felt that I should like Xiao Jue. But your getting close has messed everything up for me, so I'm re-evaluating my own feelings. Can you give me some time..."

"Give you some time? That's all you ever say. So, Yan Yan, how long are you going to wait? Do you expect me to wait until I die?"

"Or is it that, though you, my royal sister, have never read any military books, you are well-versed in the art of delaying tactics, and that your so-called 'giving you time' is nothing but a deliberate attempt to stall for time?"

He gripped her chin, his voice cold and flat: "You still think that one day someone will be able to cure your strange illness, and then, when I'm no longer of any use to you, you can just kick me aside, right?"

Yan Jiarou shook her head, crying, "No..."

Xiao Che released her hand, leaned back wearily, and suddenly laughed, looking up at her with a mocking gaze: "You really went to a lot of trouble to trick me out of some blood."

He grabbed her waist, lifted her up, and sat her on the table.

He rose and covered her, placing his hands on either side of her, looking down at her, his Adam's apple bobbing: "Let's end it here."

It felt like suddenly sinking to the bottom of a lake, with the surrounding water quickly filling my mouth and nose, and everything around me becoming chaotic and unreal.

She blinked helplessly, opened her mouth, but couldn't utter a single word.

After a long pause, she finally heard herself speak haltingly, "Wh...what do you mean?"

“I don’t know what our relationship was before, since you’ve always refused to admit it,” Xiao Che smiled bitterly, “but whatever our relationship was, let’s end it here.”

“If you hadn’t suddenly contracted this strange illness, we would never have crossed paths again.”

"The kind of affection I want, it seems, is something you can't give me right now."

"I've never stooped to forcing things when it comes to relationships. You just said I was pressuring you. So, in your eyes, asking you for confirmation of my feelings is pressuring you. Do you know how hurt I was to hear that?"

"Then I won't pressure you anymore."

Yan Jiarou cried uncontrollably, shaking her head repeatedly, "No...no...Xiao Che, no..."

Xiao Che gently wiped away the tears on her face, a casual smile playing on his lips: "Are you made of water? How can someone so small have so many tears?"

"Don't cry, what are you crying for? Don't worry, I will give you what you want."

Yan Jiarou sobbed, looking up at him through teary eyes.

"Everything I've said to you has always come from the heart, and I will never go back on my word."

"I said I would be your medicine, and that statement will always hold true."

"If you ever want my blood again, you can have Yingxue come and get it anytime. You can even get more at once and hide it in the ice cellar. Whenever you want to use it, you can find an excuse to get it from the ice cellar. Isn't that more convenient than now?"

"As for you, you don't need to come looking for me anymore. If it's not necessary, we don't need to meet again."

He patted her face and said half-jokingly, "You don't even like me, so why do you keep bothering me? It's better if we just don't see each other anymore; it'll be better for everyone."

Yan Jiarou cried and said, "I...I don't dislike you!"

"You know that's not the kind of liking I want."

It is a firm choice, a unique and exclusive affection, one that needs no charity, no pity, and certainly no reward of any kind.

If I can't do it, I'd rather not have it.

Yan Jiarou stared at him blankly, her mind reeling, feeling as if a piece of her heart had been hollowed out.

She should be happy that she can get his blood without having to go through the trouble of pleasing him anymore.

But why can't she be happy?

Perhaps giving her blood alone was not enough. During this period, she clearly felt that her illness was progressing. It was as if at the beginning, she could be comforted by absorbing Xiao Che's breath, but later, she needed his blood.

With her threshold constantly increasing, his blood is gradually becoming less effective. She may need to get more from Xiao Che in the future, but at this very moment, Xiao Che proposes to cut ties with her. How can she cut ties?

For this reason, she didn't want to become strangers with Xiao Che. Why did he have to be so extreme? Either give it to him completely, or ignore him if he doesn't.

He also said he didn't force her, but he clearly was...

The girl looked at him with a wronged expression, her eyes glistening with tears: "I...I don't agree!"

"How could you do this... You kissed me, touched me, hugged me, and even looked at my body, and now you say you want to break up with me? You're... You're starting something and then abandoning it! You have to take responsibility for me!"

Xiao Che raised an eyebrow, as if he had heard a joke, and gave an indifferent smirk: "Fine."

He straightened up, looking down at her, and reached out to take her wrist: "How do you want me to take responsibility? Why don't you come with me to see Father Emperor?"

Yan Jiarou was startled upon hearing this: "Go...go to see Father Emperor for what..."

"What else can we do? Don't you want me to take responsibility for you? How about I ask him to grant us a marriage?"

A marriage decreed by imperial decree? How could that be! She had just promised Xiao Jue that she would always stay by his side. Her father had always treated him coldly, and he had just lost his beloved mother. If she were to choose Xiao Che and abandon him at this moment, Xiao Jue would go mad…

Thinking of this, she struggled to make Xiao Che let go: "No, Xiao Che... no..."

Xiao Che slowly released her wrist.

He looked down at his empty palms and smiled silently.

"Look, Yan Yan, from beginning to end, it's you who refuses to take responsibility for me."