Apologize

Lu Er escorted Ruan Xiyan to her doorstep. Cui Feng and Lu Guoyang had gone to bed early, and the lights in their room were off.

Back in his bedroom, Ruan Xiyan casually placed the bag of snacks on Lu Er's desk. Still harboring some thoughts, he walked to the wardrobe, opened it, and took a look.

Cotton-padded jackets, sweaters, coats, summer clothes... underneath were close-fitting underwear. Ruan Xiyan was afraid that her gaze might slip even a little.

He was finally able to confirm that Lu Er did not own any dresses or similar clothing. Just as Ruan Xiyan was about to close the wardrobe door, she accidentally bumped into the rickety cardboard box on top. It tilted and suddenly collapsed to the ground as if it had fallen apart.

A bamboo dragonfly flew far away, its contents resembling photos, toys, and other odds and ends. Ruan Xiyan bent down, intending to pick it up.

There were some noises outside the room: footsteps, the sound of a door being opened, and voices.

"You forgot your phone." Lu Er returned and found that Ruan Xiyan hadn't taken her phone. She was afraid of disturbing Cui Feng and the others by calling her from outside the door, so she simply brought it inside.

"Ah." Ruan Xiyan saw her come in, holding the cardboard box she had half-picked up, and tried to explain, "I accidentally dropped your things..."

Before he could finish speaking, Lu Er's eyes suddenly changed. She bit her lower lip tightly and took a few steps forward, snatching the box from his arms: "What are you carrying?"

Lu Er's face was usually expressionless, but this time she was completely different. Her brows were furrowed as if weighed down by snow, gathering towards the bridge of her nose, making one shiver with cold. Her voice was also chilly, clearly indicating that she was holding back her anger. This change happened in the blink of an eye, leaving Ruan Xiyan at a loss for words.

"I...I'm sorry," he apologized.

Lu Er's lips pressed into a straight line, like a dash used for all unexpected turns. She didn't say anything, silently packing the things into the box. Ruan Xiyan's mouth was still open, and before he could say anything, she grabbed a small toy from his hand, threw it back into the box, and then put the cardboard box back deep inside the wardrobe.

"Don't touch my things." Lu Er didn't look at him, her tone icy.

Lu Er left, and the room fell silent. Ruan Xiyan's eyes were still glazed over.

He stood there for a while, then noticed the bamboo dragonfly out of the corner of his eye; it had flown to the foot of the bed. Ruan Xiyan squatted down to pick it up, but instead found a photograph under the bed. It must have fallen there because he hadn't had time to tidy it up earlier.

Ruan Xiyan reached out and took out the photo. After seeing what it said, he was stunned.

It appears to be a family photo. The man is all smiles, the woman looks somewhat solemn, and the little girl in the middle has big eyes and an unexpectedly sweet smile.

If she hadn't made a mistake... Ruan Xiyan pondered softly. This little girl was Lu Er.

-

Even after taking the subway back to Bihu and entering the villa, Lu Er's mind was completely blank, as if it had been ripped out. It wasn't until she reached her room that her heartbeat finally brought her back to consciousness, and she sat on the edge of the bed, feeling cold and weak all over.

Lu Er wouldn't allow anyone to touch that box, not even herself. Inside were the last things her mother and father had left her.

No one wants to look back on the most painful thing in their life, and Lu Er was no exception. She locked that day, along with those people, those events, and those memories, in a box. It was a burial, and also a remembrance.

Lu Er's gaze remained fixed on a point in the air for a long time. Her thoughts calmed down, and she began to slowly regain her composure.

Actually, Ruan Xiyan didn't do it on purpose. Judging from his expression, she guessed that he had just accidentally knocked over the cardboard box.

Lu Er knew that the more she valued something, the more afraid she became when it was touched. Once it was violated, she couldn't help but become agitated and angry.

In the end, Lu Er let out a long sigh. She was merely taking her anger out on Ruan Xiyan, an innocent person.

Ruan Xiyan didn't do anything wrong.

Having figured it out, she twisted her two fingers together, looking somewhat conflicted.

Lu Er took out her phone from her pocket and opened her chat with Ruan Xiyan. The chat was still at noon today, when Ruan Xiyan invited her to a karaoke bar.

She was too impulsive. Lu Er sighed inwardly, her hands hovering over the keyboard, unable to type a single word.

It rained during the night. The dampness lingered into the morning.

Lu Er woke up very early as usual. As she stared sluggishly at the ceiling, her WeChat notification sounded. Reaching for her phone, she suddenly remembered that she habitually kept it on silent. She guessed that Ruan Xiyan had turned the sound on after becoming her.

It was Teacher Mina who spoke in the tutoring group. She tagged all the members and said, "Dear students, the Huai'an Meteorological Observatory issued an orange thunderstorm warning signal this morning. There may be thunderstorms and rainstorms in the morning today. For everyone's safety, today's tutoring is temporarily canceled."

This means we don't have to go to class today. The students who stayed up all night cheered.

Lu Er scrolled through the screen but didn't see Ruan Xiyan's name among the pile of profile pictures.

She should find some time to apologize to him. She wonders if he's awake yet.

Lu Er tossed her phone aside. She was about to get out of bed to wash up when her eyes caught sight of a draft paper on the corner of the table. Her heart skipped a beat, as if she had a premonition, and she walked over.

The paper had a drawing of Xiao Ba, whose bangs were colored with a crystal blue ballpoint pen. Ruan Xiyan probably couldn't find any other color on her desk.

Ruan Xiyan drew several comic strips. The first one is about Gi and Ainz saying goodbye. The second one is about Gi rummaging through the wardrobe when a box falls out. The third one is about Ainz coming in and finding out, then angrily biting Gi on the head.

In the last picture, Gii is wiping away tears, looking aggrieved, with a flying squirrel still clinging to her forehead. The speech bubble next to her reads: "Sorry, I didn't mean to knock it over."

As if worrying about that wasn't enough, he drew several more little eight and Usachi, some crawling on the edge of the paper, some chasing and interacting, some withdrawn, some acting cute, some acting coquettish, not talking, but noisier than if they were talking.

Lu Er's lips twitched slightly, then slowly lifted again. Her eyes were fixed on the page, and her fingers unconsciously tightened their grip.

Is Ruan Xiyan a bit of a simpleton by nature?

-

It rained heavily in Huai'an for almost a whole day. When the rain stopped, it was almost dusk.

Lu Er turned her head back from looking out the window. She repeatedly revised her message on her phone, wanting to say sorry, but in the end, she sent, "Are you home?" She felt that some things were better said face-to-face.

About ten minutes later, Ruan Xiyan replied to the message. Lu Er nervously opened it and found it was a location. The location showed Ruan Xiyan was at a sports field near Tongnian Avenue. Without hesitation, Lu Er grabbed an umbrella and went out.

After being ravaged by the rain for so long, the jacaranda petals were scattered here and there on the road, turning into muddy puddles when cars drove over them. Lu Er looked at the navigation system, which showed that she was getting closer and closer to her destination. Her heart, like those trampled jacaranda petals, felt soft and rotten.

After the rain, many people were getting some fresh air on the court. But Lu Er still spotted Ruan Xiyan at a glance.

He was wearing a white jersey, and among boys his age, he stood out for his height and exceptional demeanor.

The sound of a basketball scraping against the ground was deafening. Lu Er stood far away on the steps and typed to him: I've arrived.

Lu Er thought she would have to wait a while, so she replied to her second uncle's message. When she looked up again, Ruan Xiyan was already running towards her. His arms were covered in sweat, his trouser legs were hanging down to his knees, and his exposed calves were smooth and clean.

When he was within eye contact with her on the first step, Lu Er realized that this man was 1.8 meters tall.

"You're here?" Ruan Xiyan said. He seemed to remember something, and his brows furrowed slightly. He smiled apologetically at her, "Sorry, I just finished playing ball and I'm all sweaty."

Lu Er shook her head, her eyes fixed on him. Just as she was about to speak, a man in a black jersey ran up behind her: "Xi Yan." The man in the black jersey whispered a few words to Ruan Xi Yan, who nodded and turned to her, saying, "Um, could you wait for me a moment? I need to buy watermelons for them."

Ruan Xiyan stepped onto the stairs, turned back to look at her, and her clear eyes curved into a smile: "You can come along too, it's not far."

Lu Er didn't go in; he waited for him outside the fruit shop. No one knew what Ruan Xiyan said to the owner, but the owner insisted on giving him a few bright red strawberries and even helped cut the watermelon into pieces.

"Want some?" Ruan Xiyan handed her a slice of watermelon. The flesh was bright and fresh, indicating it was a good watermelon. "Auntie is so kind; I don't have to do it myself."

"It's because of your face, isn't it?" Lu Er thought to herself, but didn't say anything.

Lu Er took the melon, and the two walked along the sidewalk beside the sports field. When they reached about the second streetlight, Lu Er finally spoke, saying, "I'm sorry about yesterday."

"It's okay." Ruan Xiyan accepted it more easily than she had expected, even with a smile. "It's normal that you're unhappy since I went through your things first. I wouldn't be happy if someone went through my things without my permission either."

Lu Er's hands, hanging down, involuntarily clenched the hem of her clothes. She still spoke, her voice low: "That was a keepsake left to me by my parents. I valued it very much, so when I saw it had been touched... I got very angry."

"...My family members were translators a long time ago. They were very busy and often traveled to several countries a year. Sometimes they would take me with them, and when we landed in a new place, the three of us would take a picture together."

Lu's parents attended the same university, were in the same department, and studied a less commonly taught language. Sharing similar interests, they naturally fell in love. Lu's father, Lu Zhan, was witty and humorous; he loved to laugh and his words always brought joy and laughter. In contrast, Lu's mother, Xu Qingri, was much colder. It's said that at the time, Xu Qingri was notoriously arrogant and looked down on everyone in the entire department. Lu Zhan pursued her for over half a year before they finally got together.

After Lu Er was born, the way the group usually got along was like this: because Lu Zhan studied interpreting and Xu Qingri studied translation, one was always on the go and the other stayed at home for long periods, so Lu Er was left in the care of the nanny. When they had free time, Lu Zhan would usually buy some small toys and play with Lu Er for a while. Xu Qingri would occasionally bring Lu Er with her when she went to work, but she would leave Lu Er in the break room for a short time before rushing off to check documents for clients on-site.

When the couple worked together, one interpreting and the other proofreading, Lu Er would sometimes go for more than half a month without seeing them. For many days of the year, Lu Er could see her father's face on TV and her mother's name in the newspaper, but she couldn't see them at home.

When Lu Er was nine years old, she heard that her mother and father were preparing to return home from Australia. She waited at home full of anticipation for a day, but what she received later was the devastating news that the charter plane had crashed and all the passengers had perished.

I can't remember what happened after that. Many people came to send wreaths. Some people looked at the photo on the tombstone and shed tears. Some sighed and patted the young girl. Some people pointed at Lu'er from a distance and discussed how to arrange her funeral.

Pain can take root and sprout. Lu Er's wounds formed scars, but they were not healed. She sealed the photos and toys in that small box, as if burying a nine-year-old secret deep within, not wanting anyone to uncover it.

-

"...So at that time, I couldn't control my temper." Lu Er's black eyelashes fluttered a few times. "I apologize to you, I'm sorry."

Ruan Xiyan lowered her head slightly to look at her. The girl in front of her, even while apologizing, had a calm and indifferent expression. Only her lips were slightly bitten, revealing a thin, pinkish-white color. Like a stubborn cat.

He wanted to pat her head, but knowing it was inappropriate, he said, "It's okay. I don't mind."

"You apologized to me, so I won't hold it against you. Let's call it even, okay?" Ruan Xiyan smiled, revealing the curve of her eye bags and the youthful dimple at the corner of her mouth.

A person's face is great if it has one shining point, but Ruan Xiyan has two.

Ruan Xiyan extended her little finger and stopped in front of her. Lu Er paused for a moment, then looked up. As if bewitched, she also raised her little finger.

Ruan Xiyan hooked her arm around her and swayed back and forth like on a swing.

After the torrential rain, the sky seemed to be upside down with the sea, displaying a deep blue. That blue stretched to the end of the road, and the moon appeared to be submerged in the melting seawater.

The streetlights lit up one by one, like stars on the ground.

“I heard this is called the Blues Hour,” Ruan Xiyan said, looking up at the sky. “It looks even cleaner after it rains.”

A shop in the distance was playing music, and the closer Ruan Xiyan and Lu Er got, the clearer they could hear it. The song was Yan Renzhong's "The Last Fireworks of Summer Night".

Gazing at the twinkling stars in the night sky

What's left after talking about dreams?

But you smiled and said you only wanted me to be happy...

After walking for a few minutes, Ruan Xiyan suddenly stopped and looked at Lu Er's face: "Still not happy?"

Lu Er was a beat slow to respond: "...No."

“Although we haven’t known each other for long, I can still tell whether you’re happy or not. For example, right now, with the same expression,” Ruan Xiyan said seriously, scrutinizing Lu Er’s features, “your eyes tell me that you’re not happy right now.”

Lu Er was half speechless and half amused. Ruan Xiyan was still trying to amuse her: "Smile, girls will be luckier if they smile more." He was taking pictures of the sky above with his phone when he suddenly put it in his pocket and turned to her, "Can I borrow your phone for a moment?"

Lu Er didn't know what he was going to do, but still obediently did as he was told: "...What?"

Ruan Xiyan turned on the camera, then switched the lens to selfie mode, tilting the phone down: "Come on, smile, let's take a picture."

"..." Lu Er instinctively wanted to avoid the camera, but Ruan Xiyan would point the camera in the direction she turned.

"Smile, let's take a group photo. The sky is so beautiful." Ruan Xiyan raised the corners of her mouth and glanced over with a smile. "I'm on the left, you're on the right, and our dimples are symmetrical. Teacher Lu, let's take a picture."

Helpless, Lu Er turned his face back. In the shot, the tall boy was slightly hunched over, level with the short boy. Ruan Xiyan smiled, her eyelashes curving, while Lu Er's smile was shallower and more youthful. His ears were also slightly red hidden in his hair.

Two small dimples adorned the corners of her mouth symmetrically, as if they were a match made in heaven.

"Okay, it looks great, Teacher Lu, you should smile more." Ruan Xiyan took another picture with her phone before she was satisfied. Although the smile was still "forced".

Are you going back? I'll take you.

Lu Er shook her head and gestured to the platform in front of her: "It's right there, no need, thank you."

"Then I'll wait for the bus with you," Ruan Xiyan insisted. Fortunately, the bus arrived shortly afterward, and Ruan Xiyan saw her onto it. "I have to go back to play ball. Bye-bye."

Lu Er said, "Bye-bye."

The boy in the white jersey was still standing there, smiling at her, his eyes sparkling. The sky behind him was still a deep blue, vast and boundless.

At that moment, Lu Er felt her heart beating a little faster.