Chapter 102

This was the first time Qu Xing heard Cun Ziying's voice so clearly.

Ling Yin heard it before him.

So that's how it is.

It turns out he is just a normal person.

Cun Ziying looked into the eyes of the young man beside him and asked cautiously, "Who are you going with?"

Qu Xing looked at her and shook his head gently: "It's me."

Cun Ziying's eyes trembled, and he repeated: "Is it you?"

Qu Xing stopped talking.

"Are you sick?" Cun Ziying asked.

Qu Xing: “Yeah.”

Cun Ziying: "Why?"

"Why?" Qu Xing repeated softly, lowering his eyes and letting out a sigh, his voice a little weaker: "Why."

Qu Xing didn't answer, but turned to ask her: "Why are you going?"

Cun Ziying was stunned. She almost cried because of Qu Xing's question. She sat down, her abdomen trembling nervously twice, then stood up. She lowered her head and asked, "Want to walk?"

Qu Xing wanted to run, but he picked up the skateboard and followed her.

They both tacitly agreed not to mention the psychiatric department again. Qu Xing felt that Cun Ziying's mental problems must be much more serious than his, because he saw the injuries on her arms that she had accidentally exposed.

There are knife marks all over it.

"Why aren't you skating?" Cun Ziying looked at his skateboard.

Qu Xing: "Not slippery."

"..." Cun Ziying walked in silence for a while, her feet tapping lightly on the ground, walking slowly and hesitantly. Qu Xing dragged his skateboard and walked in step with her.

Qu Xing felt like he was dreaming again.

Now there is no way to make him realize that he is not dreaming. Even if a knife really stabs him, no matter how severe and real the pain is, he may just think that this is an overly exciting nightmare.

Cun Ziying was like a shadow, not knowing what she was thinking, just walking quietly. If Qu Xing suddenly stopped, she would glance over at him in a panic, clearly not wanting him to leave, as if she had a lot to say. But then she also had an indulgent look, letting him go, as if she was ready to say goodbye as soon as he left.

Qu Xing found it strange. She had an aura that frightened him yet also made him feel close to her. She was different from everyone else he had met.

This turned out to be the legendary mother.

"The boy you're particularly close to," Cun Ziying suddenly spoke, glancing sideways at the small lake they'd reached at some point. The crowd was sparse, and the lake, reflecting dark clouds, was gloomy and gloomy. She didn't dare speak to Qu Xing, and after a long pause, she finally said, "They say you have a very good personality, just like your name."

“…”

"I can't imagine it." Cun Ziying glanced at him and said, "I clearly... didn't expect you to be a quiet person."

"..." Qu Xing threw away his skateboard and lazily turned towards the lake. He just regarded this walk and conversation as a dream and was too lazy to explain to her that she had misunderstood him.

He was too silent, and Cun Ziying didn't dare to speak.

"Why is my last name Qu?" Qu Xing asked softly, tilting his head.

Cun Ziying: "..."

"Why?" Qu Xing asked again.

“…”

Qu Xing: "What's my grandma's name?"

Cun Ziying suddenly looked at him.

"Is my grandmother's last name Qu?"

Cun Ziying shook his head: "No."

"Then why is my last name Qu?" Qu Xing couldn't understand: "Just because he's a father?"

Cun Ziying shook his head again.

"Who came up with this name?" Qu Xing asked.

Cun Ziying's throat trembled: "I."

"..." Qu Xing suddenly felt very bored. He had lived with this name for nineteen years, so why should he still worry about such problems?

Cun Ziying was still looking at him. Qu Xing didn't bother to pay attention to her anymore and looked ahead. But after a moment of silence, there was a sudden plop beside him.

!

Qu Xing turned towards her suddenly.

Cun Ziying actually knelt down in front of him.

“…”

Qu Xing's brain buzzed, and fear quickly filled his eyes. He squatted down and pulled the man: "What are you doing?!"

Is this a dream?

What are you doing? Are you crazy???

How do I wake up? How do I wake up? Aa ...

Unable to move, she took his hand and saw the horrific scar on the back of it. Tears welled up in her eyes: "I'm sorry... I'm sorry, baby. Xingxing... Mom is so incompetent. I can't even raise you well. I'm sorry..."

"Get up first!" Qu Xing's right hand was powerless, and he didn't dare to have too much physical contact with her. He could only touch her weakly and looked at her pleadingly: "Please get up, okay? There's nothing to be sorry about... Don't do this, don't do this, I beg you."

He knelt on one knee, bewildered, and said, "Get up, get up, get up—"

Cun Ziying fell on his knees and burst into tears.

"I'm sorry, Mommy. I've never been a good mother. I brought you into this world and then left you alone. It's all my fault. I shouldn't have been so willful."

Qu Xing helplessly let go of his hand.

He looked up, and as the gloomy dark clouds crashed to the ground, Cun Ziying said sadly, "I shouldn't have brought you into this world."

"..." Qu Xing withdrew his gaze from her and slowly backed away. Cun Ziying missed, and the hand that was resting on his knees fell down, supporting himself on the ground and crying.

The sky was gloomy. Clearly a sign of impending heavy rain, everyone hurried back. No one saw what was happening. Even the few people who passed by only glanced curiously at the two people facing each other, one half-kneeling, the other kneeling with their hands on the ground, kneeling in sorrow.

Qu Xing suddenly felt like not just today but his entire life had been a dream. He couldn't understand why things had turned out this way, why people suddenly went mad, died, and disappeared. One moment they were perfectly fine, the next, their will was ripped from them. Qu Hongfei, Cun Ziying, and even the nameless person who had been with him for over a decade.

So is he.

Yesterday he was talking and laughing like a normal person, but today he knelt down here for no apparent reason.

How do I wake up from this dream? What does it feel like to wake up?

"You shouldn't have come into this world." Cun Ziying said crying.

No……

"Then where should I go?" Qu Xing looked at her, but she lowered her head and didn't look at him.

"I have to go somewhere." Qu Xing leaned over and said, "Are you saying that these nineteen years of my life shouldn't exist?"

Cun Ziying lowered her head and sobbed, "I'm sorry..."

Qu Xing collapsed and said, "What are you feeling sorry for? Who are you? Why shouldn't I have come? Where should I go? Tell me!"

"I don't know." Cun Ziying shook her head. "Mom doesn't know. Will you die with me?"

“…”

"Okay? Let's go together. In your next life...in your next life, find a good mother. I shouldn't have been the one to bring you into this world. I made you sick, and I made you live in this world for so many years for no apparent reason. I'm the one who caused you so much pain."

"..." Qu Xing straightened up from her kneeling position, her hands hanging down, her gaze trembling as she looked at Cun Ziying. Even though she still wanted him to die, Qu Xing felt that she was different from Qu Hongfei. It was as if death was especially gentle to her.

It was as if she had been waiting for him to grow up all these years, waiting for him to experience life a little and find that life was indeed not worth living, and then take the initiative to walk into her arms of death.

Although Qu Xing didn't think life wasn't worth living, and that everything was beautiful, it was just that everything that had happened before had become fake. As for whether the future would also be fake, he didn't know.

He only knew that it was fake now.

A drop of rain hit the bridge of my nose, and it was so cold that it hurt.

But it's still not enough.

If I could wake up from this ridiculous dream...

"Okay." Qu Xing said.

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The author has something to say: It’s late today, there will be more