Chapter 68 Father and Daughter: "Is Father just putting on a show for the dead?"...

Is he the one she loves?

Pei Xiaoyun was stunned, and in his words, he was like a boat that had gone astray, unable to find any direction.

She said she hated him, but did she say she loved him? It seems not.

Perhaps they did before, during their three years in Yangzhou, they definitely did.

If only we could go back to that time...

He didn't know when He Lianqing left.

Everyone below knew that He Lianqing's departure meant that Pei Xiaoyun had not adopted the resurrection technique. Some Taoist priests and martial arts practitioners seeking fame and fortune began to offer schemes, claiming they could reverse time and help him see his old friends.

Pei Xiaoyun heard this and indeed summoned these people to the Imperial Study. The Taoist priests spoke eloquently and confidently, saying that they could help him return to three years ago and briefly see the person he longed for.

Even the palace servants outside the hall found these words absurd and bizarre.

Pei Xiaoyun, however, was engrossed in it. With a wave of his hand, he ordered them to live in the palace and prepare the time-space formation.

He didn't really believe it; he just had no other choice but to give it a try.

In the imperial court, rumors were rampant, saying that His Majesty had gone mad. Meanwhile, remnants of the former Xiao faction, hiding in the streets, seized the opportunity to organize a militia uprising, using the pretext of His Majesty's incompetence to destabilize the empire and oust Pei Xiaoyun.

Pei Xiaoyun ordered a large-scale arrest of these people, and in the process, dozens of remnants of the previous dynasty were captured and beheaded in the West Market for the public to watch.

After that, everyone realized that he hadn't gone mad. He was still the same ruthless and capricious new emperor, only that he would become obsessed with the dead woman whenever she was mentioned.

Pei Xiaoyun still wanted to try the time-reversing formation that the Taoist priests had mentioned, even if he could only see her for a quarter of an hour, he would be content.

Late at night, Cui Yuan, the Grand Tutor, with his hunched back, entered the palace to offer his advice.

He was once Pei Xiaoyun's teacher, and knew his cunning and scheming. He also knew that Pei Xiaoyun had the ability to lead the country to prosperity. However, Pei Xiaoyun was obsessed with love and witchcraft, and was not like a monarch at all.

After finishing his state affairs, Pei Xiaoyun took a paintbrush, dipped it in ink, and started painting a camellia. However, he was never satisfied with his painting and threw scraps of paper all over the ground.

Upon seeing Cui Yuan enter, he merely raised his eyelids and said, "Grand Tutor, please sit down. Someone, prepare some tea."

Seeing that the study and main hall were filled with paintings of women, Cui Yuan couldn't help but sigh deeply. "Thank you, Your Majesty. This old minister has come here to advise Your Majesty not to believe in witchcraft. The schemes those people talk about are absurd and bizarre, pure nonsense, and of no benefit to Your Majesty's health or the country."

Pei Xiaoyun slapped his paintbrush down, the shadowy light shifting across his sharply defined face.

These days, many people have jointly submitted a memorial urging him to expel the Taoist priests living in the palace, take in concubines as soon as possible, and continue his lineage.

Those people spoke passionately, adopting an attitude of serving the country and the people. In reality, only he knew that their selection of Lady Zhao, the legitimate daughter of the Duke of Qi, as empress was probably a cover for the Zhao family. They spoke righteously but secretly.

These old fogies have been doing everything they can to prevent him from seeing Aying, and they've been relentlessly criticizing him. He simply can't stand them. If Cui Yuan weren't so old and hadn't been his mentor for several months, he would never have been so polite to him.

He raised an eyebrow and gave a faint smile, but his voice carried a chill: "Grand Tutor Cui, rest assured, I only wish to see her. If I succeed, I will reward those Taoist priests who seek wealth, but if they seek official positions, I will certainly not allow them to disrupt the officialdom."

Cui Yuan sighed three times, knowing he couldn't persuade him otherwise, and his old, hoarse voice rang out: "Your Majesty should take a wife."

"Grand Tutor, you jest. I already have a wife, so why would I need to take another one?"

Pei Xiaoyun refused without hesitation.

She couldn't become his wife while she was alive, but even after her death, he would still grant her that title without her consent.

Cui Yuan was wholeheartedly devoted to the court, and he came tonight to offer his earnest advice: "Your Majesty is the ruler of the country, and I hope you will not exchange what you need most for what you don't need most."

Only through marriage can power be secured.

Pei Xiaoyun gritted his teeth, threw a wad of unsatisfactory scrap paper, and rolled it to Cui Yuan's feet.

"She is what I need most, and I want to see her."

These persistent and powerful words were meant to tell himself, and also to inform him.

"The wind is strong at night, Grand Tutor, please return. I know what I'm doing."

Cui Yuan wanted to say something more, but he was asked to leave. In fact, he was dragged out.

Like fleeting clouds and morning dew, like jade and gold flying in the wind, time is but a passing guest through a hundred generations.

During the Qingming Festival, it rained in the capital for a month.

The wind and rain subsided, and finally, a ray of sunlight appeared.

Pei Xiaoyun made a grand entrance to the imperial mausoleum to pay respects to Mingying. She originally intended to take Pei Yu'an with her, but a palace servant from Weiyang Palace reported that the princess had suddenly developed a high fever and might not be able to accompany her. Pei Xiaoyun had no choice but to go alone.

He sat beside her coffin in the imperial mausoleum for a whole day, leaning over it as if talking to her, sometimes murmuring to himself, sometimes speaking in a deep voice, until the sun began to set before he returned.

Along the way, he missed her terribly. When he thought of the Taoist priests saying that they would set up a formation in the palace on the night of Qingming Festival, he became excited and ordered the imperial carriage to return to the palace.

Back at the palace, he felt it was almost time, but the people still hadn't arrived. He asked the eunuch beside him, "Where are they? Why haven't they come yet? Should I go and invite them?"

The eunuch trembled as if he were sitting on a leaf: "Your Majesty... those people have all been... all been driven out of the palace by the Princess's men."

Everyone knows that His Majesty has no other children besides the princess, and the princess is the daughter of His Majesty and his beloved woman who has long since passed away. His Majesty loves the princess dearly, and when His Majesty is not around, no one dares to disobey the princess's orders.

Pei Xiaoyun's chest heaved, something in his eyes shattered, and his face showed displeasure as he went straight to Weiyang Palace.

Inside Weiyang Palace, the lights were as bright as day. Pei Yu'an, attended by palace maids, sat upright at his desk writing.

As the only princess, she was immersed in the etiquette of the palace every day, and in just one year, her temperament became much calmer than before.

"Greetings, Your Majesty."

The palace servants outside the palace were all shocked to see Pei Xiaoyun suddenly arrive at Weiyang Palace in the middle of the night.

Pei Xiaoyun walked in as if no one else was there, stood in the lamplight, and stared at Pei Yu'an for a moment.

She has grown a year older and is more reserved and quiet than before.

It seems that she has not been very close to him since Mingying died. The father and daughter have not had any loving father-daughter relationship in the past year, and it is not even as good as it was when they lived in the mansion.

Pei Yu'an vaguely caught a glimpse of a figure. Upon seeing him arrive, he put down his pen and bowed impeccably.

"Father, are you well?"

Pei Xiaoyun walked over and sat down in the pear wood armchair beside the desk: "Why did you act on your own initiative while I was away?"

He waited from New Year's Eve to Qingming Festival, he waited for so long.

How could she drive people away?

Pei Yu'an looked at him: "Father, don't you think they're noisy?"

Upon hearing this, Pei Xiaoyun's anger subsided somewhat. He thought that she might not understand and that it was an unintentional mistake, so he explained to her, "Those are Taoist priests that I have found from various places. They said they would set up an array tonight so that I could meet your mother. After I bring them back, you can come with me to see her, okay?"

The atmosphere in the hall was frozen, deathly silent.

Pei Yu'an did not immediately agree, which puzzled Pei Xiaoyun. He even looked at her with suspicion.

"The dead cannot be brought back to life. Those are all lies. Father, do not believe them."

Having lived in the palace for a year, Pei Yu'an's voice had lost half of its childishness, and when it rang in the hall, it was as clear and cold as water.

Pei Xiaoyun looked up, and a cold wind blew in from the open window, directly into his eyes. His two deep, dark eyes looked at her as if she were a stranger.

He doesn't blame others for not understanding, because they don't know Mingying.

But she is her daughter, so why is she also trying to persuade him?

"Today you should have accompanied me to pay respects to your mother, but you declined, citing a cold. Did you do this on purpose?"

Why did she become like this? In the few times she spent with Mingying, she was so clingy to her.

Just because Mingying died, she forgot about her birth mother?

"I haven't forgotten." Pei Yu'an has grown much taller, but she is still too young now and is not as tall as Pei Xiaoyun who is sitting down.

Mother is not dead; she is a living person and does not need anyone's offerings.

"Though you are dead and your soul has vanished, Father, do not dwell on the past all day long. You must act like a ruler of a nation."

Pei Xiaoyun stood up, her figure enveloped in heavy shadows, her voice cold: "What rules did you learn from those female officials? You've forgotten all about loyalty, filial piety, and propriety. How can you say such things? You are her only daughter. She risked her life to give birth to you. Don't you want to see her?"

Pei Yu'an's appearance is seven or eight parts similar to Ming Ying's, with a round face, almond eyes, and two dimples when he smiles.

He looked at her intently, as if he could see Mingying standing in front of him, and his eyes involuntarily reddened: "Others can forget her, but you and I can't. If you and I forget her, how pitiful she would be down there?"

She had no relatives and passed away alone; she only had her brother, him, and her daughter.

Pei Yu'an remained unmoved and listened quietly.

She had never forgotten her mother, and missed her every single day of the year. She hoped that her mother was doing well somewhere else.

She once overheard her mother and father talking. Her father didn't want her, and she was indeed born from the risk of her mother's life.

In that cold manor, her father used her as a pawn.

She always remembered these things without him having to remind her.

Now, as she listened to her father's words, a bitter feeling welled up in her heart.

He rejected her before and treated his mother badly, so why is he saying such things now? Doesn't he think that all his sadness and longing have come too late?

Before she knew it, tears were streaming down her face. She simply wiped them away with her palm and quietly lowered her head: "When people die, they know nothing. Is Father Emperor just putting on an act for the dead?"

Pei Xiaoyun remained silent for a few moments, then heard a faint buzzing sound in his ears.

He could tell that she resented him, resented that he had treated Mingying badly in the past.

He couldn't refute her; he had indeed done many wrong things that he couldn't change and had no chance to make amends to her.

But he just wanted to see her. So what if she hated him? He was willing to miss her, and no one could stop him from doing anything.

There was no other way. What if the witchcraft they mentioned worked?

The imposing aura he had displayed moments before vanished, and before his daughter, who was not yet five years old, he appeared somewhat lost and dejected. "I just wanted to try..."

“If such magic truly existed in this world, then there would be no fairness.” Pei Yu’an ruthlessly shattered his hypocrisy.

Then his father might really imprison the soul of a dead man by his side, never letting him be free for all eternity, without any remorse.

Then death is not liberation.

Even death is not a relief. What can one do to escape from someone's side?

"You're very good." After a long while, Pei Xiaoyun finally spoke, looking at his daughter's figure, which had reached his waist, and nodded deeply. "I am very pleased that you spoke up for her."

Pei Yu'an did not think her father was crazy.

He is actually quite lucid now, but he became so late in waking up, which makes him appear insane to others.

She didn't want to talk to him anymore, so she used feeling unwell as an excuse to politely send him away.

After that, Pei Xiaoyun never believed in any Taoist priests again. If anyone offered him advice through unorthodox methods, he would treat them all as eccentric individuals.

He cherished the memory of Mingying in private, without letting anyone know.

—

Late at night, a clinic in Northwest China was brightly lit.

Mingying and Shen Mingshu waited for the doctor to examine Lin Xian. After the doctor came out, they avoided Lin Xian and privately asked about her condition.

"Doctor, how is he? How could he suddenly lose his memory and not recognize people?"

Seeing the doctor come out, Mingying anxiously stepped forward to ask him questions.

She had also lost her memories, but it was because Pei Xiaoyun had used a spell on her to forcibly erase them. Just thinking about it made her fingernails dig deep into her palms, leaving red marks.

Her deep gaze gradually dimmed as she thought of Lin Xian's condition and wondered why he had lost his memory.

The doctor said, "He has a sizable scar on the back of his head, which could have been fatal. He survived by sheer luck. His memory loss is likely due to a severe impact to the back of his head."

Mingying tilted slightly, but Shen Mingshu caught her.

"Is there any way to restore those memories?" she asked, her lips trembling slightly.

The "fatal injury" and "severe impact to the back of the head" were probably sustained in Guanzhou when he fell off a cliff while trying to save her.

If he had lost his memory due to the injury at that time, then he might have gone to the capital to find her, and incidentally, upon hearing that the court was recruiting painters to draw up plans to capture thieves, he would have presented the plans. But he did not find her in the capital, and then returned to Jiangnan. It was only now that they met in the Northwest.

The doctor shook his head: "Doctors can only treat illnesses. As for the amnesia caused by a blunt object, even if Hua Tuo were alive, he would be helpless."

Mingying grew increasingly disheartened as she listened. Memory is a person's most precious possession; without memory, nothing else matters.

All the countless mountains and rivers he traveled through in his life, the magnificent scenery he witnessed, and the amazing musical compositions he composed, will disappear into the past and never exist again.

How painful it must have been for him.

She bit her lower lip, drawing out her words: "Is there... no possibility of recovery?"

"Who knows? It might suddenly return at some point, or it might never be remembered again."

Mingying's eyes reddened as she received this shocking news.

I'll never remember it in my entire life...

Seeing that she was not feeling well, Shen Mingshu took her outside and sat her on the cold steps. He asked her opinion: "Aying, do you want to tell him about your relationship and rekindle your romance?"

If their past relationship is revealed, and their feelings are gradually nurtured, they will create entirely new memories together.

Mingying gazed at the crescent moon in the sky, its reflection overlapping before her eyes. Cold frost lashed her body, and the night was as cool as water.

She was truly exhausted by Pei Xiaoyun's constant pestering.

That year, she couldn't completely forget those painful memories. She feared that those unbearable events would repeat themselves, and that those around her would be hurt again.

What did Lin Xian gain from being with her? He lost his family, endured humiliation and torment for her, lost a finger for her, and survived countless near-death experiences and lost his memory for her.

She could never repay these debts, not even with her life.

Therefore, she only hoped that he would live a peaceful life for the rest of his days, and that he would live out his life in this tranquil way, without ever remembering that she existed.

“I just want to tell him that we were old friends, and as a friend, I want to persuade him to stay in the Northwest, so that I can feel at ease.”

There are many art galleries and music studios in the Northwest. Although he lost his memory, his skills in painting and composing music remain. The people of the Northwest are simple and honest, and all-encompassing. Perhaps in this vast and boundless northern land, everyone can fully display their talents and live freely.

Shen Mingshu nodded, agreeing with her idea.

She and Lin Xian had been through so much; one was covered in wounds, and the other had lost her memory.

Two wounded people, too exhausted to offer each other comfort, are content to simply live their own lives.

Time heals all wounds, and perhaps in the future, Lin Xian will remember everything.

As long as he is in the Northwest, he will protect them.

Lin Xian came to the Northwest with a caravan. On the way, they were robbed by bandits and suffered some minor injuries. He took the opportunity to get his medicine treated at a clinic before leaving.

Shen Mingshu had already left, and only Mingying was waiting for him outside the clinic, where a carriage was parked.

"Young Master Lin, please get in the car."

She was waiting for him, just like when Lin Xian came to pick her up in Suzhou.

Although Lin Xian did not remember her, he could not help but feel breathless when he saw her face. He inexplicably wanted to get closer, but out of his inherent politeness, he politely declined.

"Greetings, young lady. I stay at an inn on East Street, which is not far away. You can walk back."

“The inn you’re staying at on East Street isn’t safe. Thieves often roam around at night. If you trust me, Young Master Lin, get in the carriage. I know a safe place to stay.”

Lin Xian nodded as if possessed, and followed her into the carriage.

The cramped carriage was brightly lit by a hanging candle.

The car swayed, and the two figures rocked and swayed, their clothes overlapping each other from time to time.

Mingying clasped her hands on her knees, gazing intently at him, feeling increasingly choked up and unable to utter a word.

After hesitating for a while, Lin Xian finally spoke first: "I don't know why, but I can't remember anything. May I ask you, young lady, what was our relationship before?"

She was the person in his painting, and he couldn't help but feel his heart flutter the moment he saw her.

"You and I were old friends."

A bright orange glint flashed in Mingying's eyes. Suppressing what she wanted to say, she smiled faintly at him: "You once risked your life to save me, so I want to help you in return."

"I see." Lin Xian met her gaze, then quickly looked away, her palms warming.

But if she was an old friend, why would he specially paint her portrait to keep as a keepsake?

"What are your plans for the future, Young Master Lin?" Mingying asked him.

It would be best if he himself wanted to stay in the Northwest.

But if he wanted to leave, she would definitely try to persuade him to stay and not leave.

Although Lin Xian remained silent, she did not hesitate for long in her heart about this issue.

He traveled from south to north, all in search of the person depicted in the painting.

Now that he's found someone, he's aimless, so it's probably better for him to stay here.

"Young Master Lin, why don't you stay in the west? Although the northwest is a border region, it can't compare to the gentle breezes of Jiangnan. However, the local customs are open, the people are simple and honest, and they are all easygoing. Whether you want to settle down or do business, the northwest is an excellent place."

She looked at him and said, "Stay here and live a good life. You don't need to wander anymore."