Chapter 60

I wish I could tear him apart and devour him whole.

Xie Yutang was already in the room when he woke up.

Tuoba Cangjue treated her as an honored guest, arranging for her to stay in the best room, furnished in a typical Northern Rong style.

A faint, cool fragrance of snow wafted in the air. She sat cross-legged on the bed, a continuous warmth flowing from her back to her entire body, gradually calming her turbulent internal energy and disordered dantian qi.

Overwhelmed with grief, she suffered internal injuries, coughed up blood, and fell into a coma. Her heart felt as if it were being strangled by thousands of steel wires, and every breath was a deep, piercing pain. But when she awoke, the pain had miraculously disappeared, and her damaged meridians had been meticulously repaired inch by inch.

You don't need to ask to know who it is.

She tilted her head to the side: "I'm fine."

Su Lu's internal energy circulated through her body, and after confirming that she was alright, he stopped, his eyelashes trembled, and he slowly opened his eyes.

His face was pale and weak, with faint blue under his eyes and unusually dry lines on his lips.

Sunlight could be faintly seen outside the window. Xie Yutang squinted and asked, "What time is it?"

Su Lu spoke in a low, hoarse voice: "It's just past Chen Shi (7-9 AM)."

Xie Yutang paused for a moment. She had opened the secret box yesterday at noon, and had been unconscious all night.

He had been using his internal energy to heal her injuries, no wonder she looked so haggard.

Xie Yutang frowned, her usually calm voice now tinged with anger: "Are you complaining that you have too much internal energy and nowhere to use it? This little injury will heal on its own in a few days. Do you really need to use your internal energy to repair it?"

She spoke too much in one breath, coughing while covering her mouth, and dark red blood seeped out between her fingers.

Su Lu took a handkerchief and knelt down in front of the bed to wipe her clean one by one.

The blood clots had been coughed up, so she should be fine now. He looked at her expression and checked her pulse before he was completely relieved.

"I'm fine, you can go now."

The sunlight outside was blinding and irritating, making Xie Yutang feel listless and her voice was languid.

Su Lu nodded and said "okay". She placed the tea that had been kept warm on the table on the bedside table, in a place that she could reach at any time. She then lowered the gauze curtain in the room before leaving and closing the door.

The dim light made Xie Yutang feel more comfortable, and his furrowed brows relaxed a bit. He closed his eyes, and the letter reappeared before him.

In his letter, Cao Yong detailed the events surrounding Emperor Chongde's order for him to transport military supplies and leak military intelligence to the Northern Rong.

"I was originally a lowly clerk in the Ministry of Revenue, but I am fortunate to have received Your Majesty's favor. I am filled with trepidation and only think of repaying your kindness..."

Not long after, Cao Yong received the first secret letter from Emperor Chongde and learned that the emperor's promotion was not to reward his talent, but rather because he saw Cao Yong as an orphan with no support and was only fit to be a puppet. The emperor promised him a high-ranking official position and salary, and made him a tool for killing.

"...This is because General Xie, with his large army and high achievements, has aroused the emperor's suspicion. Although he has not committed any rebellion, he has already offended the emperor's wrath..."

Cao Yong, taking advantage of his position as Minister of Revenue, resold military rations. He kept one or two tenths of the money for himself and put the rest into Emperor Chongde's private treasury under the guise of repairing the imperial tomb and offering auspicious omens. He also received secret letters from the capital from time to time, and was ordered to reveal the deployment maps and marching plans of the Divine Wind Cavalry to the Northern Rong.

"On the eighth day of the twelfth month of the eleventh year of Taihe, Xie Qinghe finally died from exhaustion at Daoma Pass. The Xie family was wiped out, and the 30,000-strong army was annihilated. The enemy built a Jingguan (a mound of corpses) with the bodies... The cunning rabbit is dead, the hunting dog is cooked. With the great threat eliminated, I also know that my life is not long..."

On his way to be dismissed from his post and escorted away, Cao Yong encountered fields littered with corpses of the starving, and everywhere were refugees fleeing from the war in the northern deserts.

"...The Emperor is narrow-minded, causing the common people to suffer for his own selfish interests, disregarding the lives of countless people. I am also guilty...I have risked my life to preserve this letter as evidence, not to beg for leniency, but only so that future virtuous and righteous people who wish to trace the truth can rely on this as proof—however, the one who opens the box may be the one who obliterates the truth, who knows. The paths of the living and the dead are different, we can only wait for the right time."

With her fingernails digging deep into her palms, Xie Yutang closed her eyes and frowned. Something deep inside her heart was shattering, and from each fragment grew blades, twisting her heart in unbearable pain.

After Su Lu came out, he did not leave immediately. He stood outside the door, looking at the sky adorned with the red sunrise.

The roof tiles cut the sky into squares, like a monster that devours people's hearts, or a cage that imprisons people's souls.

Beneath the high walls and red tiles, the drama of brothers fighting each other, fathers and sons killing each other, and rulers and subjects distrusting each other never tires of repeating itself.

He stood there with his eyes lowered for a while before slowly exhaling and walking towards the Golden Tent Palace, stepping through the sunlight and shadows.

Although Helou Batu has not yet been executed, he has led his remaining troops on a wandering journey and is no longer a threat. Tuoba Cangjue held a grand banquet at the Golden Tent Palace to express his gratitude to Xie Yutang and others for saving him.

It is already known that Su Lu is the grandson of Tuoba Cangjue, but it is unclear why the royal family has not publicly acknowledged his identity.

Speaking of this, Tuoba Cangjue was filled with resentment. His precious grandson was giving up a good life as a young marquis to be a mere guard under Xie Yutang. He knew all about what was being said in Dayan.

The once-glorious King of Beirong never imagined that after finally finding his beloved grandson and eagerly announcing it to the world, presenting his gold, silver, treasures, and supreme glory to everyone, he would one day be despised.

When the Northern Rong King's men arrived, Xie Yutang was still inside the house.

Xie Qi knocked cautiously on the door: "Miss, Prince Su said that if you want to rest, you can rest as you wish, and he will handle things with Bei Rong."

Two rows of maids followed Xie Qi's figure outside the window, all there to help her with her washing and grooming.

Xie Yutang leaned against the wall and closed his eyes for a while before speaking: "Let them in."

The grand banquet at the Golden Tent Palace was extremely lavish, no less so than the one when Dayan welcomed the Northern Rong delegation. When Xie Yutang arrived, the table was already nearly full, and Tuoba Cangjue personally led her to the seat of honor.

After exchanging greetings with everyone, Xie Yutang took her seat. Her seat was the first one on the right side of the throne, followed by Xie Qi and other generals of the Great Yan Army. Su Lu was opposite her, next to the first seat on the left side of the Northern Rong King, and then Tuoba Xiu, Qiu Dunyue, Helou Wulan, General Ashan, and others.

Xie Yutang twirled his fingers under his sleeve. The person who usually served him was now sitting elsewhere, and he felt an emptiness beside him.

Tuoba Cangjue withdrew his gaze from Xie Yutang, a dark light flashing in his eyes. He hadn't seen Su Lu's jade pendant when they first met, and he assumed that it had been lost somewhere due to the long time that had passed and the two countries were separated. Who knew that he would see it on Xie Yutang.

Then what about the fact that he specially sought out the best jade and ordered people to work day and night to remake it urgently?

The Northern Rong royal family gave away their identity jade tablet; Su Lu couldn't possibly be unaware of the implications.

Qiu Dunyue's earlier statement that "his soul has been stolen" was not an exaggeration.

But does Xie Yutang actually know what this jade pendant means?

As the sound of drums rose, dancers filed in, stepping to the beat, and began to dance gracefully in the center of the ceremony. Surprisingly, all of these dancers were men.

The woman in the middle, surrounded by others, was particularly beautiful and had an excellent figure. Her ankles, wrapped in silver chains, were on a peony carpet as she walked straight toward Xie Yutang under the gaze of the crowd.

The dancer took the wine cup from her table, put it in her mouth, tilted her head back, and drank it all in one gulp.

A line of purplish-red wine slid down her neck, past her Adam's apple, and disappeared into the crimson silk gauze, making one's mind wander.

He spun around the table, intending to fall into Xie Yutang's arms, but Xie Yutang slightly turned to the side, causing the dancer to miss her target. The dancer reacted quickly, pressing her wrist against the edge of the table and taking the wine cup from her mouth to pour him more wine.

Xie Yutang smiled slightly and handed over a new, unused wine glass.

This tug-of-war left the people in the hall in a state of emotional turmoil. They exchanged glances, wondering whether the "handsome man" tactic had worked.

The rhinoceros horn cup was filled with wine. Tuoba Cangjue raised the cup and said with a smile, "This king toasts Princess Ning'an."

Xie Yutang took the wine offered by the dancer and drank it all in one gulp.

She said she accepted, but she rejected his advances; yet she drank the wine he offered her.

Princess Ning'an is indeed unpredictable.

Xie Yutang hadn't eaten since last night, but he really couldn't muster any appetite. After a few drinks, he felt a bit dizzy, so he decided to leave the table early and go back to his room to rest.

Su Lu also left his seat. As soon as he stepped out of the palace, he saw a person standing under the corridor, waving a folding fan, as if he had been waiting for him for a long time.

"Go find her?"

Su Lu glanced at Tuoba Xiu and was about to walk past him when Tuoba Xiu grabbed his wrist: "You're with Xie Yutang?"

It is a statement of affirmation.

Su Lu didn't know whether Xie Yutang wanted to make their relationship public, so he still called her "master" in front of outsiders, and his words and actions were no different from usual.

Seeing that Su Lu remained silent, Tuoba Xiu was quite disappointed in him, "You really plan to stay with her like this for the rest of your life without any status or recognition?"

Judging from Xie Yutang's behavior at the table, he clearly had no intention of making it public. He had taken advantage of his brother and kept a close watch on people, while he himself was open to all comers.

A barrage of questions poured out: "Has she seriously discussed the future with you? Is she serious or just playing around? Who is the prince consort? Even if she's with you, will she have someone else?"

Su Lu withdrew his wrist, but did not go around him again. He stood quietly under the eaves. The afternoon sun shone through the branches and leaves, and he was half-shadowed. His expression and tone were not much: "Your Highness, please speak your mind."

Tuoba Xiu squeezed the fan ribs and said earnestly, "No matter what you think in your heart, if you want to be with her for a long time and stand by her side with dignity, you must have an equal status in the secular sense. Even if she really wants you to be her consort, she can't mention you as her guard when she talks to Emperor Chongde."

Tuoba Xiu stopped there. The Muqing Prince's Mansion was already deserted. Not to mention that Su Chengyu had already passed away, even when the old man was alive, he never took any care of his son.

Tuoba Xiu recalled the dossiers detailing Su Lu's past and found it hard to imagine how a five- or six-year-old child could survive in the cannibalistic capital of Dayan, sent away by his own father as a hostage.

His words were not only on the orders of Tuoba Cangjue, but also because he genuinely wanted to consider his younger brother's well-being.

Tuoba Xiu studied Su Lu's expression and placed his hand on Su Lu's shoulder: "The title of Marquis Minyi originally belonged to you. Now, my Northern Rong owes Xie Yutang a favor. If you are willing, your father can write to Emperor Chongde for a marriage alliance and bring Xie Yutang to Northern Rong to be with you... Even if you want to go back to Dayan with her to be a prince consort, that's not impossible."

Tuoba Xiu felt that there couldn't be a better solution than this. While he applauded his own intelligence, he also felt a little bitter. He never thought that he would have to use an outsider woman as a reason to persuade his brother to return.

But Su Lu showed no sign of being moved: "It's not good for her."

How could Tuoba Xiu not have thought of what he could think of? It's just that Bei Rong and Dayan may be able to make peace for now, but no one can say for sure whether war will break out again in the future. If he marries Xie Yutang as the Marquis of Bei Rong, how will Xie Yutang deal with himself if the two countries go to war in the future?

She was reborn with a blood feud on her shoulders and desperately tried to hold everything in her hands. When she was in a high position and was being watched by countless eyes, how could he allow himself to become her weakness that was being attacked?

"you!"

Tuoba Xiu raised his fan, wishing he could wake this love-obsessed fool. He took several deep breaths and finally couldn't help but say angrily, "You treat her as your only one, but have you ever thought about whether she feels the same way?"

Su Lu understood the deeper meaning in his words, her heart tightened, and she frowned, asking, "What do you mean?"

Tuoba Xiu unfurled his fan: "With such a beautiful woman in your arms, aren't you curious if she'll be tempted?"

*

Xie Yutang pushed open the door and saw three or four male prostitutes sitting inside. The one lying on the bed with her clothes half off was the barefoot dancer who had toasted her at the banquet.

The wine was still burning, and Xie Yutang's temper flared up instantly.

She suddenly didn't want to endure it anymore.

Why are they all plotting against her?

Not content with the probing at the banquet, they also had to send her to bed.

The dancer on the bed gazed at her with seductive eyes. Seeing Xie Yutang's breathing suddenly become heavy, she was delighted and tentatively tried to entice her closer.

Before her fingers could even touch him, Xie Yutang suddenly grabbed her by the neck.

The alcohol numbed her reason, and her violent temper roared, breaking free of her restraints. She had already endured so much hardship, and since they had gone this far, they shouldn't blame her for turning her back on them.

The veins on Xie Yutang's hands bulged as she gripped the dancer's neck, suffocating her. Her eyes were bloodshot, and her chest struggled to expand but couldn't take in a single breath; her lungs felt like they were about to explode.

The male prostitutes nearby were stunned. Someone, after realizing what was happening, turned and ran.

"save--"

Before he could even cry for help, a strip of cloth flew from behind and tightly wrapped around his mouth and nose.

The door, which was right in front of them, slammed shut.

Seeing their companion lying on the ground, nearly suffocating, the others all trembled and fell silent.

Through the torn curtains, Xie Yutang exuded a violent and tyrannical aura.

She could have easily killed all of them and sent them to Tuoba Cangjue; a simple "assassin" would have shut the old man up.

With just a little more force, just a little more, we could break his neck completely.

The tightly closed door suddenly opened from the outside, and the familiar, cold, snowy atmosphere made the tense atmosphere in the room pause slightly.

A hand gently covered her wrist.

“A-Mian”.

Xie Yutang trembled, then shouted sharply, "Get out!"

The man wrapped his arms around her from behind, gently pulling her into his embrace. He rubbed his chin against the top of her head, and his hand stubbornly slid down her wrist, slowly inserting itself between her fingers.

Xie Yutang stared intently at the hand that was intertwined with hers, remained silent for a moment, and finally loosened his grip.

The dancer collapsed onto the couch, her mouth agape like a dying fish, coughing and gasping for breath.

The boy who saved them from the brink of death didn't even glance at them, only coldly saying, "Hurry up and leave."

As if waking from a dream, the group stumbled and rushed out the door.

Su Lu embraced Xie Yutang, and with his other hand, he slapped the open door shut with a bang.

The room was silent.

The young man gently stroked her back, his gesture devoid of any lust, but full of soothing intent.

But Xie Yutang felt the fire in her heart burn even brighter.

The moment he entered, the room was filled with his presence.

She still carried a trace of cold, snowy energy within her, which spread throughout her limbs and bones as he channeled his inner force.

That unyielding, uncontrollable anger suddenly found an outlet.

That's not enough.

I want more.

He held her so defenselessly, his vulnerable neck right in front of her, and Xie Yutang opened her mouth and bit him.

Su Lu didn't even frown, letting her bite him.

Xie Yutang bit down on the spot where her neck and collarbone met, the taste of blood spreading between her lips and tongue, with a hint of sweetness.

It smells so good.

Like snow on a mountain peak, or pure white jade, she is like a traveler who has trekked alone through the desert for a long time and finally found her own sweet spring, which she greedily sucks and gnaws at.

She only released her grip when no more blood seeped from the wound. A clear ring of teeth marks appeared on her porcelain-white skin, and the pink flesh beneath could be seen at the deepest point.

She licked it with the tip of her tongue, feeling satisfied as she felt the body tense beneath her lips.

That's not enough.

I want pain, I want destruction, I want to be completely torn apart and crushed.

Xie Yutang's eyes were bloodshot. He suddenly shoved the person onto the bed and pressed down on him.

She pressed his wrists with both hands and lifted him above her head, holding him firmly beneath her, allowing him no resistance whatsoever.

She kissed him, charged straight in, and conquered his territory.

I wish I could tear him apart and swallow him whole.

The sounds of battle echoed in my ears, and my eyes were filled with the sight of blood and swords. The faces of Emperor Chongde and Xie Qinghe appeared alternately.

She couldn't distinguish between what was real and what was fake.

She wants authenticity, yet she also wants to succumb to illusion.

I hate it so much.

Hating her is a joke, she's a slut, she's a fool.

She hated fate for watching her go through two lifetimes of twists and turns, only to find herself trapped in her own web of suffering—how absurd and laughable!

She kissed him with all her might, venting her pent-up emotions as if in revenge. Her lips and tongue traveled downwards, finding the wound she had bitten herself, and she licked it, like a wild beast marking its territory.

Su Lu obediently endured it, and even after the wrists were freed from the restraints, they remained in place without moving at all.

He knew she didn't need a response; she just wanted to vent.

He was willing to be the object of her venting.

He was willing to share her hatred and her pain.

His clothes had been mostly pulled open at some point. He wasn't wearing much to begin with, and now his neckline was wide open, revealing a section of his jade-colored chest below his collarbone. Xie Yutang's hand pressed on his waist.

The snow is burning.

She wanted to have this spring all to herself.

The young man's lean waist felt better to the touch than I had imagined; a thin layer of muscle stretched along his spine, and a shiver ran through the area where my fingertips touched.

When she tried to pull on his belt, her wrist was finally grabbed.

Su Lu was already completely aroused by his flirting.

He almost gritted his teeth and used all his reason to barely manage to grasp her wrist.

Can't.

It can't be now.

She was out of her mind and had been drinking. In her impulsiveness, she didn't know what she was doing, and she might not like it when she sobers up.

She can be crazy, but he can't stand by and watch her do something that will hurt herself.

The hand gripping her wrist wasn't strong, but it rendered her unable to move.

Xie Yutang glared at him with displeasure.

This was met with a soft chuckle from the other party.

Su Lu propped himself up from the couch, his loose black hair cascading over his half-open shoulders and falling to his waist.

He gently stroked the thinnest part of her wrist with his fingers, coaxing, "Be good, let go."

Seeing that she wouldn't let go, Su Lu chuckled and leaned down to kiss the corner of her mouth: "I'll do it, okay?"

"No." Xie Yutang almost instinctively asserted her dominance, refusing to yield an inch. "I'll do it."

Su Lu paused for a moment, then chuckled as he nestled against her neck and lightly flicked her forehead: "What were you thinking about?"

Then a series of light, delicate kisses fell upon her, so tender and gentle that they made her feel a little dazed.

The belt was almost forcibly pulled off; he tied it casually and pulled the robe that had slipped down to his arm back onto his shoulder.

Xie Yutang held his hand tightly.

He smiled helplessly and kissed her ear: "Sweetie, I won't leave."

Xie Yutang frowned after hearing two consecutive "good boy"s. She didn't like this form of address, but for some reason, it sounded very pleasant to her when he said it, with the ending tone as alluring as the tip of a cat's tail.

Su Lu placed a soft pillow behind her back, brushed aside her loose long hair, and helped her lie down.

Xie Yutang didn't know what he was doing, but she felt her heart burning brighter and brighter. She wanted to possess him at all costs and fill his body with her own scent. Even a short separation made her unhappy. She frowned and reached out, wanting to press him down on her again.

Su Lu gently took her hand and knelt down in front of the bed.

The moment the touch occurred, Xie Yutang trembled violently, her whole body tensed, and then she began to shake uncontrollably.

As the Jade Mountain collapsed, the Udumbara flower suddenly appeared, breaking through the night.

The pent-up anger that had been raging and had nowhere to go dissipated completely, and the knots in her heart were gently soothed. He served her with meticulous care, gently purging her most suppressed darkness.

Xie Yutang felt her soul being drawn from her fingertips into silver threads, wrapping around the twin lotus flowers on the carved screen. She finally abandoned everything in the world and let herself sink into depravity.

The chilly snow suddenly intensified, and the damp moon hung low, bursting into a crimson mist beneath the crabapple blossoms.

She closed her eyes, and tears fell silently.