Chapter 216

"You know what a bagel is, the round thing that looks like a donut. My family is descended from earls, and we absolutely do not allow such tasteless food to appear on the table... It was Lisa who, one morning, cut a baked bagel in half, filled it with avocado and cheese slices, and stuffed it into my mouth."

“I don’t know why she’s so fond of bagels, and she always insists that I eat them with her. Whenever this happens, she’ll say in a cloyingly sweet voice, ‘Oh darling, accepting my favorite is like accepting a part of me. I can also try English afternoon tea with you. You know, those cakes are so sweet that I always have to drink three cups of coffee before I eat them.’”

"She's incredibly cunning, and what's even more cunning is that she knows I can't refuse her. She got me used to bagels being toasted first and then filled with mayonnaise, sausages, and all sorts of other random things. I clearly remember eating them for over a hundred years, but this morning, I didn't see them on the table at all!"

"I was furious. Why didn't the robot prepare the breakfast I wanted? It told me clearly that I never eat junk food that causes fat accumulation, and as for setting my own menu, that's a pipe dream, because I've never really cared about food."

"How could this be? I joined the base to revive Lisa, and eating bagels every morning helps me remember what I'm fighting for. Even if I forget to shower after training, I can't possibly forget the settings menu! But when I went through the robot's operation log, I found that there were no modification records I remembered!"

"I panicked. I've been with the base for a month now. Could it be that I didn't notice anything unusual about the recipes for a whole month? I asked the robot if it knew who Lisa was, and it said it couldn't find any information on her. I immediately rushed out to find people I knew, but they all said they didn't know Lisa! I rushed to the archives and asked to see my own file, but Lisa's name wasn't there either!"

The boy appeared very confused, mixing English, Polish, and Chinese, and when he became agitated, he spoke incoherently.

Suddenly, his bloodshot eyes stared intently at me, like a drowning person seeing a lifeline: "By the way, White! You know her, right? Lisa, the wife I mentioned to you, I'm sure I mentioned her—"

“I remember,” Xie Xubai said without hesitation. “Red hair, brown eyes, often worried about her weight, so she liked to eat bagels with avocados, thinking it was healthy. But then she would come over and try to take the cheese from your hand. She liked to drag you on off-road trips and do all sorts of extreme sports. She even said that your wedding must be held in the fairytale town of Florio. She was a very passionate and romantic girl.”

The boy stared blankly at Xie Xubai, his eyes welling up with tears that eventually streamed down his face.

He calmed down completely, but was utterly dejected. He covered his face with his half-mutated claws in pain and said in a hoarse, heavy voice, "...This is my fourth reincarnation, White."

"As someone favored by the gods, I shouldn't lose my memory, but I find myself gradually forgetting many people. My family's servants, my annoying aunt's family, the idiot business partners I have to negotiate with under pressure, and my parents who have hardly ever smiled in their lives..."

"Those who died were erased from existence by the system. Normal people who did not receive the blessing will not remember them at all. And when our memories fade, how can we prove that they once truly existed in this world?"

Before Xie Xubai could speak, the boy suddenly burst into despair and wailed, hot tears streaming from between his fingers: "I can't prove it!"

"White, you said Lisa wanted to have her wedding in a fairytale town, but I forgot even something this important! I don't remember setting the recipes, and I almost forgot why I joined the base. I can't distinguish between reality and illusion, and I often wonder if those familiar figures in my mind are just my delusions from when I'm going crazy or real people. Publishing a paper requires sufficient evidence and data, but I can't find any trace of them anywhere... anywhere!"

On [date], in order to resist the system and the infinite game it brought, the Global Joint Committee selected potential players from the remaining player population who could become the chosen ones. After layers of investigation and rigorous screening tests, the players who remained formed the Apostle Guild.

Divine blessing allows players to retain memories.

It was at this moment that the apostle members suddenly realized that losing the game was not without consequences; every time the game restarted, a large number of people would be wiped out by the system.

That was a complete disappearance; there was no trace of their existence in reality, and relatives and friends who had not received divine blessings would not retain any memories of them.

As members of the apostles chosen by God, their will is eroded in repeated cycles of reincarnation, their spirits are on the verge of collapse, and they gradually lose the ability to remember what those people looked like.

Even the timing of the game's arrival becomes distorted, further confusing them with reality and illusion.

When all of this piles up, how can they determine whether the problem lies with the world or with themselves?

How can one tell whether they are on the right track or have fallen into a trap set by the system?

Xie Xubai remained silent, unable to spare any attention, because the boy's sudden agitation accelerated the alienation that had just subsided, causing jagged bone spurs to grow outwards inch by inch, like wildly growing thorns.

His eyes grew increasingly dark as he unleashed his mental energy without reservation. Cold sweat streamed down his cheeks, and his skin turned pale and translucent from the exhaustion of his mental power.

No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't stop things from going in the direction he didn't want to see.

Because the boy's heart was already dead.

The moment he realized he was about to forget his family and loved ones, his will shattered like glass. His companions pointed out that he was unable to correctly interpret the "rules," which was tantamount to revealing the fact that his divine power was being lost.

Yes, willpower.

Courage, compassion, wisdom, resilience, and indomitable spirit... these magnificent and brilliant aspects of human will have opened the chapters of history, given birth to civilization, and passed down myths.

If one's inner will is strong enough to resonate with the corresponding deity, one can attract His attention and become a favored one.

However, to hold fast to one's beliefs as always, to remain steadfast no matter what setbacks or dangers one encounters, and to never stop no matter how horrific the death one witnesses, requires an incredibly firm and indifferent heart.

A broken will is not beyond rebuilding; perhaps his companions were just trying to warn him to be careful.

But once the boy realized he could barely remember his lover, he no longer had the strength to start over.

Bone spurs pierced into internal organs, and blood and foam choked the mouth and nose.

The boy's breathing became increasingly difficult and weak.

The surroundings were incredibly noisy, and he saw circles of dark shadows before his eyes. He noticed that the boy's usually calm and composed face was now filled with anxiety.

The guards approached, guns pointed at him once more, their dark muzzles aimed at him. They needed to deal with the source of the pollution before the situation worsened.

But the boy grabbed the muzzle of the gun, opened his mouth and roared, engaging in a fierce standoff with the guard. The vibrations from his chest as he roared also reached the boy's chest.

It was then that the boy noticed the mottled blood spots on the boy's arm, all caused by bone spurs growing from his body.

But the boy didn't notice; he was still continuously channeling his spiritual energy.

The boy used to think that only someone with an iron heart could make it to the end on this rugged and dangerous road.

But.

“You are not indifferent, nor are you numb, white…”

The boy below hummed softly, as if every nerve in his body was screaming in pain, making every word he uttered tremble.

Upon hearing the sound, Xie Xubai immediately lowered his head and shouted loudly for the boy not to give up, but the boy just shook his head with a bitter smile.

Her blue eyes, brimming with tears, gradually lost focus, a mixture of despair and pity for Xie Xubai: "How have you managed to get through all this time..."

He had only reincarnated four times when he was already on the verge of going crazy.

But the boy before him had gone through at least ten cycles of reincarnation before him.

Similarly, the boy retained at least a dozen memories that were completely different from those of others.

That wasn't just one or two years; each period lasted for more than twenty years.

With no one to confide in, no one to rely on, he remained lucid amidst centuries of chaotic memories, trudging alone across a dark wasteland.

These chosen ones, the pride of heaven, initially looked down on this boy named White, believing that his mediocre stats allowed him to enter the Apostle Guild and become one of the twelve apostle trainees, entirely due to the influence of his mother, the Goddess of Fate.

But now, no one will disagree.

They looked up at his back with indescribable admiration, yet couldn't help feeling apprehensive.

—The road ahead is so long, with no end in sight. How are you going to get through it?

The bone spurs eventually pierced the boy's body, and as he breathed his last, the ferocious monster would emerge from its cocoon.

Armed guards swarmed in, shouts of panic rose and fell, and piercing alarms blared throughout the study room and surrounding area. Researchers rushed forward and yanked Xie Xubai away, all because the boy's dawdling had delayed the best opportunity to eliminate the monster. They scolded him, exasperated: "There's a limit to being willful! Do you want to get everyone killed?!"

The guard shouted from behind, "Wait, something's happened!"

The expected human tragedy did not occur; the horrific monster curled up on the ground, as docile as a baby.

Since the monster did not show any danger, the guards carefully observed it and then replaced the special ammunition with an anesthetic, using a specially made electric net to capture the monster.

The moment the monster rolled over and landed face up, everyone saw the golden cone of light embedded in the back of its head.

The cone of light pierced straight into the boy's brainstem the instant his heart stopped beating, cleanly severing the nerve center that controlled his limbs, preventing him from jumping up and wreaking havoc.

The researchers were stunned; the surroundings were so quiet you could hear a pin drop.

Xie Xubai silently pulled his hand away, and when he turned his head, his face showed no emotion. Only the boy's hoarse but firm voice commanded, "Send him to the purification room."