Chapter 29, Part 29: A Kiss

Upon the ascension of the new emperor, he proclaimed to the world and grandly bestowed the title of Princess Ning'an upon her. However, few people knew that besides Princess Ning'an, the new emperor also brought a princess, Shen Xian, who had not yet received a title, to the capital.

Having left the harsh north and arrived in the bustling capital, with only a maidservant by her side and no mother or younger brother, Shen Xian was initially a little unaccustomed to it.

But when she moved into the mansion bestowed upon her by the new emperor, a three-courtyard residence, although not as large as the marquis's mansion she used to live in, it was still very exquisite. In the capital city, where land is extremely valuable, this one mansion alone was worth more than two marquis's mansions.

Shen Xian was overjoyed. She felt that the new emperor had not given her enough servants, so she ordered more than a dozen maids to be bought. Whenever she went out, she was always surrounded by servants, making a grand and impressive spectacle.

She was the only precious mistress in the mansion, so she didn't have to worry about her parents' moods or give way to her younger brother. Every day, she went to the mansions of powerful and wealthy people to enjoy tea, flower arranging, garden tours, and banquets. Her life was full of joy and luxury.

Not long after, the imperial examination results were announced, and noble ladies from all over the capital flocked to the list of successful candidates to find husbands. Shen Xian also began to think about her own important life event.

However, she disdained to compete with others. The current emperor had personally told her that once she found someone she liked, he would bestow a marriage upon her.

She simply sat in the mansion, listening to the news her maids had gathered.

"The newly appointed top scholar is exceptionally talented and has been appointed as a prefectural governor by the Emperor. However, he comes from a humble farming family and his appearance is only considered decent. If he were to marry a princess, it would be a great honor for him."

"The newly appointed second-place scholar comes from a prominent family with numerous properties and relatives both inside and outside the court. He is also exceptionally talented and handsome, but he has a rather cold temper. People say he is a taciturn man who can't be provoked. It would be quite boring for him to be paired with a princess."

"The newly appointed third-ranked scholar is the son of the Minister of the Court of Judicial Review. He is handsome and kind, but unfortunately he is only the second son in the family, and his elder brother is also an official in the court. The Minister of the Court of Judicial Review is honest and upright, so if the family were to divide the property, he would not receive much of the inheritance."

Each of the three has their own strengths and weaknesses, and Shen Xian is facing a small dilemma.

She spent two days personally investigating the backgrounds of these three men. She disliked the poor family of the top scholar, disliked the taciturn second-place scholar, and believed that only the third-place scholar was worthy of her.

Shen Xian immediately wrote a letter and sent it to the palace, requesting the emperor to grant her a marriage with the third-ranked scholar.

The messenger replied that the emperor had already betrothed the third-ranked scholar to Princess Ning'an and asked her to choose another suitable partner.

Was it bestowed upon Princess Ning'an?

Shen Xian only learned Pei Heng's true identity after her father's death. She also learned that the Changsun family had been exiled with the deposed crown prince. Later, at a banquet, she heard Yue Zhi address Pei Heng as her brother and sister, and she realized that she was the deposed crown prince's cousin.

She was related to the royal family and was a legitimate princess, while she only obtained the title of a minor county princess by virtue of her deceased father.

Shen Xian realized she couldn't compete with her, so she had to give up on the third-place finisher and settle for the second-place finisher, Chen Lanze.

After receiving the imperial decree of marriage, the Chen family invited her to their residence for a banquet. Only then did Shen Xian realize how narrow-minded she had been. The Chen family was exceptionally wealthy, far more luxurious than her small princess's residence. Everything about them was wonderful, except that they had a large number of people, with five uncles and aunts in total. Chen Lanze was the only son of the fourth branch.

She thought that with her abilities, she could marry into the Chen family, be a dutiful daughter-in-law for a few years, give birth to a son, and then become the matriarch of the family, so that she could enjoy a life of wealth and comfort in her later years.

As a result, she became even more attentive to Chen Lanze.

But Chen Lanze was a stubborn rock who neither smiled nor made a fuss; no matter how much she tried to please and tease him, he remained unmoved.

On a crisp autumn day, she invited him out for a hike and to enjoy the scenery. He really only knew how to look at the mountains and water, and his eyes never fell on her for even a moment.

Shen Xian was furious with him. Seeing him sitting there staring at the wild cranes perched on the branches, she got up angrily, walked to a path, picked up a stone and threw it down to vent her anger. Unexpectedly, the stone hit the open ground below.

Hearing the search sounds coming from below, Shen Xian realized that she had wandered into a place she shouldn't have gone. She wanted to go back the way she came, but after taking a few steps, she peeked through the gaps in the leaves and saw the scene in the open space below.

There was a man and a woman sitting in the pavilion with their backs to her, embracing each other shamelessly in broad daylight.

Did she stumble upon some illicit couple?

As Shen Xian pondered this, she saw the woman sit up straight from the man's arms, revealing the face of Princess Ning'an!

As fate would have it, she and her fiancé went on a trip to Heshan, and unexpectedly stumbled upon Princess Ning'an meeting with Liang Tanhua.

Standing on higher ground, Shen Xian heard the sounds of the search below but hadn't yet gotten closer. Suddenly, she became indignant: Yue Zhi is a princess, and she is a county princess. Both were personally appointed by the emperor. What is there for her to be afraid of them for?

Despite her best efforts to please Chen Lanze, she couldn't even get a smile from him, while the two people below were laughing and hugging intimately.

Shen Xian's eyes were fixed on the young man's arm supporting Yue Zhi's waist. She watched as Yue Zhi shyly punched his shoulder and buried her face back in his arms. She felt a mixture of envy and jealousy.

Suddenly, she realized something was wrong.

The man seemed rather young. She had previously inquired about Liang Zhang's background and had secretly seen his appearance outside the Liang residence.

The young man beside Yuezhi was broader in back and taller than Liang Zhang, with shorter hair... That's right! Liang Zhang had already tied his hair up like a crown, but this young man had half his hair tied up and half his hair down. The nobles in the capital were very particular about etiquette, so they couldn't possibly make a mistake.

That person is definitely not Liang Zhang!

Does Yuezhi know? She's keeping a male concubine behind Liang Zhang's back?

Shen Xian grew angrier the more she thought about it. Women are supposed to be gentle and obedient, and since the Emperor had arranged her marriage, she should have integrated into her husband's family as soon as possible and focused her attention on her future husband. Moreover, she had the most outstanding scholar, Liang Tanhua, yet she did not know how to cherish him.

Liang Zhangsheng was handsome and gentle. Everyone who saw him said he had a good nature and was much better than Chen Lanzhe. Such a good man was wasted by Yuezhi.

Her eyes lit up and a good idea popped into her head.

*

Apart from the "thump" just now, Yuezhi didn't hear any other strange sounds. She sat up and listened carefully to her surroundings, but Pei Heng deliberately pressed the back of her head against his chest.

She thought there was real danger and obediently leaned against him, not daring to move, until she heard a barely audible chuckle from above, and realized that she had been tricked.

"Who taught you to be so playful?" Yuezhi stood up, grabbed his arm, and punched him.

The soft force couldn't hurt her at all; Pei Heng only felt that she was soft and cute, and he could hardly resist the urge to pull her into his arms again.

“You were very well-behaved when you were little. As an emperor, you should be even more composed. You are not allowed to make such jokes again.” Yuezhi lowered her head, a strange feeling rising in her heart.

Unlike the sweet flirting with her husband, her affection for Pei Heng was tinged with a sense of indifference and detachment.

Actually, she was afraid. After all, she wasn't Pei Heng's real older sister, and her name hadn't been added to the royal register yet. What if he stopped treating her as his sister and stopped valuing their past relationship? The warmth they felt now would vanish in an instant.

He was the emperor; a single word from him could elevate her to a high position, or it could crush her to pieces.

Pei Heng gazed at her face, carefully tidying her disheveled hair. His gaze moved from her trembling eyes to her cherry-red, moist lips, and he swallowed hard.

"Does growing up mean I can't play around with my older sister anymore?"

Yuezhi remained silent, her eyelashes trembling slightly.

Because of the slight accident earlier, the two of them were now sitting far too close, so close that with just a little force, he could push her into his arms as he protected her back.

He had this illusion that he could do whatever he wanted to her.

"That night I also dreamed that... my elder sister was holding me and said that as long as I wanted, she could hold me and sleep every night."

Yuezhi bit her lip and turned her face away. "Pei Heng, what's wrong with you? You've never said these things to me before."

She slowly turned her face back, her fingers tracing the side of his neck, her expression filled with sorrow.

"Is it because you're too lonely living alone in the palace that you're having such a dream? Or is it because I haven't visited you in the palace for over a month, and you're blaming me..."

“It’s not that I don’t want to see you, it’s that I feel you’ve only recently ascended the throne and have to meet with so many ministers and handle so many political affairs every day. I’m blind, and I can’t help you by going to the palace. Instead, I’ll only distract you and cause you trouble.”

Pei Heng took a deep breath, listening to her words, but he couldn't ignore the heat pressed against his neck.

The words in the dream were spoken by her many, many years ago. He still remembered them, but she had forgotten them.

He still didn't dare to hold her hand.

Some things, once started, can't be stopped.

He wouldn't let his impulses run wild, and like the emperor she had hoped for, he calmly accepted her explanation.

"Your Majesty, you're overthinking it. I just found the dream interesting, and it reminded me of my childhood, so I told you about it, but it made you worry."

Yuezhi was skeptical, and slowly withdrew her hand.

He said, "I have never blamed you. You don't need to worry about me. As long as you are happy, my reign as emperor will not have been in vain."

His tone of voice was just like that of a young man who had thought long and hard before deciding to join the army. Yuezhi was impressed by his growth and foresight, and once again saw the gap between the two of them clearly.

In the past, she was afraid that he would go too far away and one day she would no longer need his company.

Now that she has found solace in her husband, her obsession with Pei Heng, the "only trustworthy person," has lessened. She silently decides that she will stay by his side whenever he needs her, and when he has his own wife and children and begins to take her in stride, she will quietly withdraw from his sight.

Once you see the future clearly and are prepared to face "separation," you will gradually accept everything, and the sadness in your heart will fade.

As the warm sun sets in the west, the mountain breeze grows long and cool.

The mountain wind rustled the colorful autumn leaves, surging like ocean waves, tossing their hair, brushing against their clothes, and carrying away the brief warmth and excitement between them.

Yuezhi was in a good mood after returning from Heshan.

After dinner, she drank the nourishing herbal soup. Su Jingyun took her pulse, frowned, and shook his head.

"With worry and fear weighing on your heart, what have you done today?"

Yuezhi asked in confusion, "I went to see the Emperor and talked to him a lot. I didn't seem unhappy at all. Why would I feel worried or afraid? Could it be that you made a mistake in your diagnosis?"

Su Jingyun examined her rosy face, felt her pulse for a while, and confirmed again, "It is indeed worry and fear. Although it is not to the point of damaging your heart and liver, if it is accumulated in your heart for a long time, it will not be good for your health."

Yuezhi sat in the back hall, pondered for a moment, and murmured, "I'm only telling you this, don't tell anyone else."

"Yes, it's better to talk about your feelings."

“I have no father, no mother, and no brothers or sisters. When I was a child, I always envied other people’s families. They had many people and were lively. They had someone to accompany them whether they cried or laughed. After Pei Heng and I were exiled to the north, we depended on each other for survival. Although life was hard, I knew that he needed me and would not leave me. I felt very at ease and never envied others again.”

Outside the door, the lush leaves fall without wind, drifting lightly onto the withered grass. The subtle sound is the last sigh of the branches and leaves as they go from life to death.

Upon hearing this, Yuezhi sighed softly, "He doesn't need me anymore. I think he could leave me at any time, just like my parents who sold me off. Once they leave, they'll never come back."

This is what she worries about and fears the most.

Su Jingyun felt a deep connection with her suffering and understood her fear. He removed his hand from her wrist, straightened her shoulders, and gently comforted her face to face.

"It is already a blessing to be together for a while, why seek a long-term relationship? The more you seek, the more disappointed you will be. Look at the present, you have me, the imperial son-in-law, the young mistress of the Liang family, and countless noble ladies in the capital who want to befriend you. The emperor is not the only one by your side."

"For the past ten years, you have lived your life around the Emperor and thought of him in everything. It is only because of this sudden separation that you are not used to it. But as time goes by, you will eventually get used to it. Now that you have let go, Princess, you should think more about yourself."

Yuezhi thought about it carefully and realized that this made sense.

It seems that many people have told her in the past, "Don't just think about Pei Heng, you should also think about yourself."

Even Pei Heng himself said, "As long as you are happy, I, as the emperor, have not lived in vain."

Yuezhi nodded blankly and said to Su Jingyun, "I think I understand."

"You understand?" Su Jingyun asked suspiciously.

Yuezhi nodded emphatically, "I don't want to think about Pei Heng anymore, not about the past or the future. I only want the present, I want to be happy, I just want to... I want to see Young Master Liang..."

She covered her mouth shyly after saying it.

Su Jingyun chuckled, "It seems I do understand."

The two were talking in the side hall when Huachun brought over a bowl of freshly cooked sweet soup, as usual, for Yuezhi to eat after taking her medicine.

She eavesdropped outside the window for a long time until the two finished their conversation, then leisurely carried the sweet soup, cooled to a perfect temperature, into the back room and served it to Yuezhi.

He casually asked, "What were the princess and Physician Su talking about? You two are laughing so happily."

After drinking the sweet soup, the taste of medicine in her mouth faded, and she hurriedly said, "Huachun, you've come at the right time. I want to arrange a meeting with the Second Young Master. Could you go to the Liang residence tomorrow to deliver a message to Zhiyan?"

“Alright.” Huachun put away the empty bowl and asked curiously, “I just don’t know why the princess suddenly wants to see the second young master. When I go to deliver the message, I need to have a reason.”

"I'll say... I want to discuss an auspicious date for our wedding with him, and once we've agreed on it, I'll ask the Emperor for permission to proceed with the marriage."

As Yuezhi spoke, the corners of her mouth couldn't help but curve into a smile.

Hua Chun smiled and replied, "This concerns the princess's lifelong happiness, so this servant will certainly handle it well."

There was no need to wait until the next day; that very evening, the words that came from the princess's residence reached the emperor's ears verbatim.

Inside the Taiji Hall, Pei Heng was preparing to retire for the night.

He wore a thin dragon robe, holding a collection of poems in one hand and playing with a soft, fluffy cloth fish in the other. Hearing from the eunuch that Yuezhi planned to meet with Liang Zhang to discuss the wedding date, he inexplicably became angry.

He slammed the poetry collection on the table. "It's only been a short time since I bestowed this marriage upon her, and she's already in a hurry to set a wedding date?"

During the day he praised him and said he would stay with him, but as soon as night fell, all he could think about was Liang Zhang.

He gripped the cloth fish tightly, his chest burning with anger. He felt that his anger made him look like a child vying for someone's affection, and he felt a little ashamed.

He softened his tone, "If the princess wants to set a wedding date, it's better to discuss it directly with me than with the prince consort. Don't send the message to the Liang residence; I will go to see her in person."

Since Yuezhi is in a hurry to get married, he should go to see her in person, clear up the misunderstanding from last time, so that she can settle down and marry Liang Zhang, and end the messy relationship at present. It would be good for all three of them.

Pei Heng sighed heavily. It was a decision made for her own good, and also for his own good, but the moment he made the decision, his heart felt so heavy.

The night was cold and desolate. He clutched the cloth fish, trying to hold onto something in his palm, but it seemed as if he couldn't grasp anything.

He could only watch her fade away from his life.

*

Three days later, on a cool autumn night, a crescent moon hung high in the sky.

Painted boats crisscrossed the Xiang River, with music halls and teahouses on both sides welcoming guests. A small boat drifted leisurely past the bustling tiled hills and stopped at the dimly lit, sparsely populated ferry bridge.

After listening to the sounds of water and music in the teahouse last time, she had long wanted to take a boat ride. Now, sitting on the boat, with the river flowing gently, her heart was at peace.

At night, because she couldn't see, she was used to the pitch-black darkness.

"Princess, the person has arrived. This servant will take her leave now." Huachun said through the door outside the cabin before disembarking.

After Yuezhi felt the weight on the boat lighten, the boat swayed slightly. Soon after, a person much heavier than Huachun stepped onto the boat and pushed it back down.

Her heart rose and fell with the boat, and she nervously clenched the handkerchief in her hand.

Hearing the person lightly step into the cabin, and to avoid suspicion, he did not close the cabin door. He sat down about two arm's lengths away from her without saying a word.

Yuezhi was overjoyed to finally be able to meet him again.

She turned in the direction he had come from and spoke first, "I haven't seen the Second Young Master for several days, and I've missed him terribly..."

Pei Heng quietly observed her.

Looking at her eyes sparkling in the candlelight from a distance, her delicate and rosy cheeks, the faint blush at the corners of her eyes when she lowered her eyelashes—he would never see Yuezhi again, so full of affection, so charming and beautiful, so full of girlish grace.

"Don't laugh at me, Second Young Master, but I'm not young anymore. For many years, I never thought I would truly fall in love with a man and want to marry him. But these past few days, I've been thinking of you constantly."

She spoke to her lover in a soft, gentle voice, her lips parted slightly, her words expressing her intense love more directly than the poems on the red paper, yet she couldn't say it to the person she truly wanted to tell.

The person sitting across from her was an imposter and a fraud.

Pei Heng kept urging himself not to listen to these sweet words that weren't meant for him. He had already made up his mind to give her to the person she truly loved, so why was he still hesitating...

He wanted to see her shy eyes again and hear her gentle, sweet words once more.

"You are the man chosen for me by the Emperor, the best gentleman in the Great Zhou." Yuezhi's cheeks grew hotter as she spoke, but she still firmly conveyed her true feelings to him.

"I have let go of the past and am ready to spend my life with you. Will you?"

After the final note faded, Pei Heng slightly opened his mouth.

He was about to tell the truth, but her last words, "let go of the past," choked him up.

After a long pause, he asked, "What did the princess put down?"

Yuezhi was so embarrassed by her clumsy confession that her ears were burning and her mind was blank. When she heard the man's magnetic question, she didn't think much of it and replied softly.

"It's nothing serious, it's just that I no longer dwell on the past, and I no longer think about the Emperor with all my heart."

So, it turns out, she let him go.

Pei Heng's conflicted and hesitant feelings cooled down. Under her gentle gaze, his heart turned as cold as ice, and he let out a silent snort.

Having fought so many battles, killed so many people, and shed countless blood, he finally reached the pinnacle of power. He thought there was nothing he couldn't bear, and he would never shed a single fragile tear again.

At this moment, his eyes, which were looking at her, gradually became moist.

It turns out that the companionship I mentioned during the day was a helpless compromise with him, and what I said now was from the bottom of my heart.

Her smile and heart-fluttering were directed at another man, leaving him only with cold indifference after she had made up her mind.

Pei Heng felt a lump in his throat, and it hurt terribly.

He swallowed his bitterness and asked in a hoarse voice, "The princess has never even seen me with her own eyes. Are you really not going to wait any longer? Are you really willing to let me accompany you for the rest of your life? You trust me more than the emperor does?"

"nature."

Without hesitation, Yuezhi knew that he was the person Pei Heng had chosen for her, the person she would spend her life with. With such a good upbringing and Zhiyan's strong praise, he was certainly trustworthy.

As soon as she finished speaking, she felt the ship rock slightly, and the next second, a strong scent of pine and ink wafted towards her.

His lips, tinged with the chill of autumn, kissed hers.

Yuezhi blinked, startled by the sudden kiss, but quickly realized that it was the Second Young Master's heartfelt response to her earlier words.

She closed her eyes, letting him kiss her deeply. Her heart pounded with nervousness. She held her breath, her cherry lips gently licking and carefully sucking on his lips.

This single response sent a jolt through Pei Heng, igniting all his pent-up sorrow. He uncontrollably grabbed her shoulders and pushed her back, pressing her against the cabin wall. He then extended his tongue and deepened the kiss.

His mind went blank as he nibbled at her red lips, pried open her pearly teeth to exchange breaths with her, letting the heat burn away all his reason.

It's so hot, she can barely breathe!

The burning heat on her face almost made Yuezhi faint. She grabbed the young man's arm, trying to push him away, but she felt his body suddenly stiffen and press down on her, making her unable to move.

"Don't think about... anyone else, don't... let me go."

Between kisses, the young man mumbled something, but Yuezhi, her eyes glazed over from the kiss, couldn't hear a word he said.