Chapter 70 The Complexity of Raising Children

Qingzan had dinner with the emperor in Taiji Hall before returning to Zhaoshui Hall. As they walked along the road, the moon had risen early, a small crescent of pale white teeth that seemed to follow them. It is said that the later the season, the earlier the moon rises, and winter has truly arrived.

Pingting thought she would stay overnight in Taiji Hall. Seeing her return at the palace gate, she hurried back to the hall to have the charcoal fire burn brighter before going out to greet her again: "Why is the master back?"

Qingzan took off her fox fur coat and said, "Your Majesty wants to discuss matters with the ministers, so it's inconvenient for me to be here."

The Winter Solstice rituals are about to begin, and preparations are underway. This year also marks the birth of a princess, so perhaps there will be an amnesty after the rituals, but those who should be executed are usually executed in the autumn, so there's no chance of a Winter Solstice amnesty.

Pingting helped her hang the fox fur coat on the vermilion-painted clothesline, but she couldn't stop worrying, "It's night, and the frost on the road is slippery and thick. Even if the master wants to avoid it, she can just go to the side hall to rest. Why bother rushing back like this?"

Qing Zan walked into the inner room and said, "Concubine Yang hasn't woken up yet, so it's not appropriate for me to accompany the emperor."

Doukou wanted to go in and serve, and Suoying had just come back from a stroll in Chengluan Palace. When she saw Qingzan, she was about to talk to her, but Qingzan went in and closed the door quickly, keeping everyone out.

I leaned my back against the closed door, my heart pounding.

She pulled the envelope Chen Shaoling had given her from her sleeve. They'd passed each other on the terrace in front of the Taiji Hall, and Chen Shaoling had slipped it into her pocket. She'd only opened it once, glanced at it, and then never dared to examine it again.

Now that no one is around, I dare to carefully and slowly unfold the contents inside.

A small portrait of a woman, with plain hairpins and simple clothes, looks exactly like her, except that her demeanor is softer and gentler, her eyebrows are thinner and more curved, and her eyes are more delicate than hers, like willow leaves, with a small mole at the end of her eye, making her look lifelike.

The face that I had missed vaguely for fifteen years suddenly had specific and clear features.

Qingzan held the small portrait close to her chest, smiling and holding back her tears. Her heart was in turmoil, and tears welled up in her eyes. Suddenly, the person in the painting came to life, holding her face and saying, "Don't cry. Mother will always be watching over you from heaven."

*

Taiji Hall. It was almost curfew when the meeting ended. The other ministers hurried away, and even the emperor seemed to have something else to do. Only Chen Shaoling returned, calling out to Dong'er, who was hunched over the tea utensils on the table. "Miss Dong'er, it seems like I haven't seen you for a while."

Dong'er was startled. She turned around and saw the champion scholar standing by the door. She then picked up the mother-of-pearl tray and walked closer, smiling flatteredly, "Didn't I see you last time? Today, the champion scholar kept looking at me, and I was surprised!"

Chen Shaoling smiled gently and said, "It was even earlier."

Although Dong'er served tea when she entered the palace last time, the emperor was in the hall the whole time and she didn't get a chance to talk.

Dong'er suddenly understood: "Oh, I didn't do my job well in September and October, so I was punished. Please don't tell anyone about this. At least give me some face!"

In fact, he spoke too quickly and then remembered that his superiors had ordered that this matter must not be made public, especially not to Master Ying, so he made up for it.

Chen Shaoling thought the girl was just shy and didn't ask any more questions. He bowed slightly and said, "I will definitely keep this in mind."

He then spoke a little embarrassedly, "This time, I would like to ask the young lady to help me express my gratitude. I once asked another young lady in the imperial court to help me find a lost item, but when I returned, I found that it had been left in the carriage. I haven't seen her for a while, and she said she was your apprentice."

Dong'er had only a few disciples, and the turnover in Taiji Hall was very low. She had a bad feeling in her heart, and asked uncertainly, "Are you talking about... Yunrong?"

Then, thinking that since the champion scholar described her like that, he must not know the maid's name, he quickly gestured with one hand: "Is she about my height, wearing the attire of a junior imperial maid, with a pair of braids, thick eyebrows, big eyes, a round face, and speaks very softly and nimbly?"

Chen Shaoling recalled: "That's exactly what happened."

Dong'er pulled the person to the corner of the corridor outside the hall, "That's Yunrong for sure."

At this point, Dong'er's heart sank. It was because of her meddling that she received a beating, and she was unable to leave her bed for a whole month. She hesitated. But then she thought again, Yunrong's life depended solely on her. Missing this opportunity would mean a lifetime of regret. After all, His Majesty and Eunuch Xu were both away!

She said in a mournful voice, "Master Chen, Yunrong has been sent to the Hot Spring Palace. She...is probably not doing well! I don't even know if she's still alive!"

The Hot Spring Palace was the farthest from the imperial palace, not located in the capital, so the masters rarely visited. Seeing that there had been no activity this year, it seemed they wouldn't organize a visit. Dong'er's tendons were broken, and he couldn't speak. Throwing such a disabled person into the palace was beyond the reach of the palace staff, and Dong'er had already given up hope.

Chen Shaoling was horrified upon learning of the situation. Having served the emperor for the past few months, he had a firm grasp of his ways. Most of those who died at his hands were valuable figures, treacherous ministers, or sent to serve as an example. But the emperor was not one to resort to cruelty. Why would he treat a palace maid so brutally? Could Yun Rong be some traitorous spy?

But the day the accident happened happened to be the day he asked her for help...

Dong'er looked at the man in front of her who was lost in thought. "I have no way to leave the palace. I beg Master Chen to at least collect Yunrong's body if you have the chance!"

*

The lights in the Zhaoshui Palace were extinguished one by one, leaving only two large lamps in the corridor of the main hall to facilitate the night watchmen's vision. The young eunuch was leaning against the door with his arms folded, dozing off, even with cockleburs padding the soles of his shoes, when he suddenly heard a knock on the distant palace gate.

Xu Delu looked at the emperor locked outside the Chengluan Palace gate and thought to himself, this was the first time a young lady had ridden in a sedan chair—how new! He smiled cautiously and said, "I've sent someone to get the key from the imperial guards."

Fortunately, the superiors did not need to make any suggestions. The eunuch on duty at night had sharp ears and did not let the emperor wait in the wind and rain for too long.

The palace maids, having been awakened, moved quietly, but in the silent night, their voices became a crackling and chattering noise. Only behind the heavy doors, the woman, whom the emperor had ordered not to disturb, was still lost in her sleep.

The emperor, noticing her unusually deep sleep today, had only intended to stay beside her for a couple of hours, fully clothed. But as he lay down, he was startled to see, in the dim, flickering yellow light, the only sliver of her face, exposed outside the quilt, wet with tears.

The old marks have dried up, but the new marks are still shining with water, mottled and pale.

"Mother has been avenged. She no longer hates anyone and can go to heaven to enjoy happiness. Don't cry, good child, good child." Qingzan had a beautiful dream. In the dream, her mother was patiently coaxing her. The harder she cried, the more her mother talked. It was simply the most gentle and soothing sound from heaven.

Suddenly, the breath beside my ears became hoarse.

Qingzan felt strange and stretched out her bare arm to hug her mother, but the breath became more and more tingling and numb when it penetrated into her neck.

She woke up.

Before waking up, he blurted out in a daze, "Mom?"

Then she blinked and met the emperor's handsome and deep eyes.

Xiao Fang was face to face with her when they were very close. His face suddenly darkened: "What are you yelling about?"

Qing Zan had no idea there was someone else on the bed, and she finally came to her senses: "Your Majesty, why did you come here tonight?"

Xiao Fang heard the meaning of her words, as if he shouldn't have come tonight.

Thinking of the mother and daughter in Huying Pavilion, he understood a little and smiled, "If others feel unfair, they will blame it on me. It is because I am heartless and unkind, partial to some and not to others, and obsessed with lust."

Qing Zan sniffed, her voice still muffled: "Your Majesty is getting more and more outrageous. Who dares to criticize Your Majesty like this?" "Does that mean I only dare to criticize you?" The emperor immediately showered her with kisses, from her neck all the way to under her clothes. Only in between kisses did he ask her: "Why are you crying? Did you have a nightmare? You can't be crying because you're alone on your pillow tonight and thinking about me?"

"Who thought that? I was sleeping soundly. It wasn't a nightmare, it was a sweet dream! Your Majesty interrupted my sweet dream. How are you going to compensate me?"

The voice still tinged with tears spilled out, and it was still such a soft scolding, it was simply coquettish and pitiful. The emperor's soul was shaken, and his body honestly gave her a hot and intense response.

His kiss gradually slowed down and became deeper, biting her snow-white skin until beautiful red petals bloomed all over.

After three months, they could actually have sex, but he had been holding it in for so long that he was afraid of hurting her if he was too violent.

He just endured it, inserted his five fingers into her hair, caressing and holding her, and stared at her for a long while.

Her pupils, washed by tears, were like the fresh sky after rain, possessing both warmth and brightness. When she looked at him, she seemed to be trying her best to endure, so she was struggling and wavering, not to let her eyes turn into water immediately and let the emotion overflow.

The emperor thought for a moment, then pinched her waist and asked abruptly, "Do you want to be the queen?"

Qingzan's heart trembled.

*

There have been many more jackdaws in the palace recently. They would stop on the Chiwen birds and cry coldly when they had nothing to do.

In the writings of today's literati and poets, crows are always unlucky, but in ancient myths, they were also called Golden Crow, symbolizing the brilliance of the red sun.

Seeing the little palace maid gazing at the eaves of some distant palace with a drooping brow, Pingting went up and patted her shoulder: "The Empress Dowager has said it, this is an auspicious bird."

This palace is like this, it can only accommodate auspicious birds. If it is unlucky, it should have been killed long ago. Besides, there is a new little princess in the palace this year.

The little maid said yes, hesitated for a moment, and then said, "But aunt, I don't know why, my eyelids keep twitching when I hear this sound."

Pingting lowered her head and took a look at her. "I think you stayed up too late at night. Many times when I got up at night, I saw you lighting a lamp and embroidering. What's wrong? Are your family pressing you for money?"

The little palace maid said, "No! I saw that Your Majesty is very skillful. Your Majesty always wears the pair of boots I made for him, and now you have to make clothes for the little princess. Wouldn't you be exhausted? I want to share the burden with Your Majesty. At least I have to practice hard to improve my skills first!"

The little princess was born safely, and all the palaces sent gifts, such as a gold necklace, a jade ruyi and a longevity lock. However, there were not many people in the palace who made clothes for the little princess by themselves like their noble concubine. It was probably because the concubine was pregnant in the same year, and she loved the princess even more out of consideration for herself.

I heard that Concubine Yang has woken up in the past two days and was promoted to the position of Jieyi as expected, but her health is completely broken. The honor of Jieyi is indeed enviable, but if it costs her life and she cannot even raise her own flesh and blood, then there is only sighing.

The little princess's name has not been decided yet. According to the custom in Daliang, the princess is named when she is one month old, and she is given a title when she turns one year old or when she establishes a new government.

Therefore, the Queen Mother meant that before the princess reached her full moon, the concubine who would raise her should be decided so that the full moon banquet could be held and the princess' name could be chosen together.

For the first time, a new guest arrived in front of the Taiji Hall.

Concubine Xue wore a low-cut temple, a plain orchid-patterned jacket, and a thick cotton skirt. Aside from Concubine Hui, she was the most plain-looking of the more prestigious concubines in the palace. Because their relationship had ended when the emperor ascended the throne, Concubine Xue had never even set foot in the Taiji Hall. The palace attendants who greeted her at the gate were taken aback for a moment before recognizing her.

"Why is Master Xue here? Master is in critical condition and it's freezing cold. Please warm yourself up with a hand warmer. I'll go and tell the story for you right away!" As the palace maid spoke, she presented the gilded sleeve warmer prepared for the concubine.

Concubine Xue couldn't bear to refuse her kindness, so she took it and said, "It's not even the twelfth lunar month yet, so it's okay."

After hearing the report from the palace maid, the emperor knew the purpose of her visit without asking. She had been living in Guanju Palace for some time, and it went without saying for whom.

I wanted to send her back, but after a moment's thought, I raised my head from the memorials and said, "Let her in."

The quiet and timid figure was led closer by the palace servants. He was like a thin piece of paper, making no sound when stepping on the brick floor.

The emperor glanced up and flipped through the memorial in his hand again, deliberately asking, "Did Zhaoyi send you here?"

After not being together for several years, they were somewhat awkward and unfamiliar. Concubine Xue was not as natural as the emperor. She was a little startled and lowered her head from a distance: "I asked to come on my own."

Of course the emperor knew that she was the one who wanted to come. Not only that, she probably also had the delusion of changing his will.

His eyes darkened as he continued to talk about Zhaoyi: "Lord Weng has agreed to stay in the capital. I have agreed with him to issue an edict in the spring. I cherish talent, so when you have time, please advise Zhaoyi not to treat Huaixuan's teacher lightly."

Concubine Xue was unable to get a word in, and her confidence was growing weaker. She couldn't help but feel sad that now, when they met again, they could only talk about other people. But then she thought, she had come for someone else, too. If not, she would never have the courage to see him again in this life.

The emperor smiled coldly, barely audible, but Concubine Xue was always able to understand his feelings and knew that the longer she delayed, the harder it would be to speak. She made up her mind and raised her head to look at him. "Your Majesty, I have taken note of what you said. I have come here today to..."

After a pause, she suppressed her heartache and said, "I came here today to ask Your Majesty to allow the princess to spend more time with Concubine Yang. Concubine Yang is no longer in good health. If she has to endure the pain of separation from her daughter again, I am afraid she will not be able to bear it!"

The emperor had no reason to guess her thoughts, but her thoughts were too easy to guess. He didn't give her the chance to speak just now because he didn't want her to open her mouth.

He put the pen down heavily, and the jade pen holder made a crisp sound.

Concubine Xue shuddered with fear, her face turning pale. She bit her lip and said, "I have spoken out of turn, but..."

The emperor sighed, stood up, stepped over the flower-decorated carpet beneath his desk, and approached the people. He said meaningfully, "If I give the princess to you, would you be willing?"

A thousand thoughts suddenly exploded in Concubine Xue's mind. This huge piece of good news almost overwhelmed her. If the princess was raised by her, she would have someone to rely on for the rest of her life. She had originally prepared to endure a hopeless and hard life, but if she had a soft and sweet daughter by her side, her life would be full of hope.

She looked up and saw the emperor's face covered with frost, and in an instant she felt as if she had fallen into an icy cave - Your Majesty said this, could it be that he was trying to play with people's hearts and see whether she would choose to continue to consider Concubine Yang, or be selfish for once and seek benefits for herself?

Or maybe... he actually wanted her to raise the princess?

The emperor put his hands behind his back calmly, his phoenix eyes glanced at her leisurely, without much emotion, just waiting for her answer.