Chapter 189

What level of determination would be considered "doing everything to fight"?

Are you willing to use all possible tricks to fight, to give everything you can to win, and even to become unlike yourself just to win?

In several previous games of the "Challenge Cup" school competition, Jiang Yunu was criticized more than once for "using any means necessary". Many of the campus rumors about her also said that she "used tricks" to win and had endless little tricks.

Jiang Yunu didn't take these words to heart.

In her opinion, it is not a bad thing to use your brain and do research in order to win.

But Lynette Nagu's alienation seems to have gone beyond the line of "studying for victory".

"If you ask me to evaluate, I would say that Miss Nagu turned herself into that in order to win a game - no matter what means she used to turn herself into that, she seemed a little obsessed." Jiang Yunu said, with a slight sense of contradiction in his voice.

Pei Ya also noticed that the white-haired girl had a complicated expression.

She said that Lynette Nagu was possessed, but her attitude was not that of a superior judge.

Jiang Yunu seemed to be using Miss Nagu as a mirror to identify herself.

"But what if there is a reason that forces her to become obsessed?" Jiang Yunu said again.

The conflicted look on her face deepened.

"As long as there is a reason to win, do you think any means to win are acceptable?" Pei Ya asked quietly when Jiang Yunu stopped talking.

Jiang Yunu said honestly, "I'm not sure. Maybe it depends on what the specific reason for 'must win' is."

And this is the core of her contradiction.

"Look." The white-haired girl raised her left and right hands in confusion. She gently folded her left hand. "I think Lynette Nagu is obsessed. I think she is a little desperate to win. I think I just love fighting. I won't be like her and risk everything—"

He also raised his right hand, and Jiang Yunu lifted both hands to the same height, with the palms facing each other.

"—But on the other hand, I would consider whether she had reasons to be obsessed. If she had reasons that could convince me, I would think it was natural for her to go crazy."

"—because I can't be sure I won't be possessed."

This is where Jiang Yunu is confused.

Believing that you won't risk anything and that there's a chance you might become "obsessed" are two clearly contradictory arguments.

She is contradicting herself.

This contradiction even affected her love for fighting, making her lose interest in anything related to fighting these days.

Pei Ya felt that she was confused by Jiang Yunu. This friend who always moved forward seemed to be discussing a philosophical question with her.

Pei Ya was also silent for a moment.

It can be seen that the friend wearing thick glasses is trying hard to sort out Jiang Yunu's words, trying to find a trace of connection between these seemingly polarized viewpoints for Jiang Yunu.

Jiang Yunu hadn't yet told Pei Ya about Linette Nagu's contact with the special substance. As she and the principal had agreed, she hadn't mentioned a single word. However, the white-haired girl ventured the suspicion that, since Pei Ya had proactively informed her of Linette Nagu's treatment progress, she might also have some understanding of the cause of Miss Nagu's transformation.

However, both of them maintained a tacit agreement not to mention the keyword "special substance". The only point of consensus between friends was that "Linette Nagu used something he shouldn't have used in order to win."

"If... you had the same opportunity," Pei Ya said thoughtfully after a brief silence. "Someone told you that as long as you did this, no matter the cost, you would definitely win the battle. Would you do what they said?"

Jiang Yunu also thought about it: "...It's not certain."

The white-haired girl confessed to her friends, "Perhaps before anyone told me this 'secret to victory,' I was so obsessed with pursuing it that I had already found the threshold on my own. Perhaps even without anyone actively encouraging me to do it, out of sheer curiosity, I might have already tried it."

Jiang Yunu was very clear about his curiosity and desire to explore - and then he clearly accepted the roll of the eyes when Pei Ya took off her thick-bottomed glasses.

"It turns out you're quite aware of your own personality," Pei Ya said. "I thought you were the kind of person who was already dancing on a 'dangerous' tightrope, but still thought you were just walking on a special kind of flat ground."

Jiang Yunu: "How could that be? I always face danger knowing it's dangerous."

This time, Jiang Yunu not only received a cold stare, but Pei Ya also raised her hand in annoyance and patted her lightly on the back.

——Too thin.

Pei Ya thought to herself after she finished filming. This was the first thought that automatically popped into her mind.

If you hadn't seen it with your own eyes, it would be hard to imagine that the civilian talent who had won consecutive victories in the "Challenge Cup" school competition and had already made a name for herself would be such a girl whose shoulder blades could be supported by loose clothes, and who could vaguely feel her bones pricking her hands when she clapped her hands.

"You understand yourself so clearly." Pei Ya rubbed her palm, feeling the bone of Jiang Yunu's shoulder blade still gently pressing against her hand. "How can you not see where the biggest difference between you and others lies?"

"I'm afraid I'm just feeling good about myself, that I think too highly of myself," Jiang Yunu said honestly. "I'm afraid the 'difference' I feel right now is simply because I've never been in their shoes, never experienced their predicament."

Pei Ya: “…”

Pei Ya was quiet for a moment. She then said, "But I think that if you think this way, you've already reduced the chances of you going down the same path by 80%."

Not everyone can immediately examine themselves and try to put themselves in their shoes after seeing the "obsessed and crazy" behavior of others.

Jiang Yunu smiled: "Dear Miss Ole, when you say that, I feel that you are very partial to me."

Pei Ya shrugged.

"You're my first friend of my age," the young lady from the Ole family said arrogantly, "I just prefer you, so what?"

Compared to Pei Ya who was only used to slightly revealing her true emotions after the winter vacation, she has made a lot of progress now and can say such words very naturally!

Jiang Yunu was immediately moved by this openly declared preference.

She and Pei Ya huddled close for a moment, and Pei Ya casually asked, "In all your combat experiences so far, have you ever been so close to the most desperate state?"

Jiang Yunu said, "Well, I guess so."

Pei Ya felt that she had found a better way to comfort her and grasped a clue.

"So, what is the purpose of this battle that makes you want to win at all costs?" Pei Ya's tone was also full of curiosity. She really cared and wanted to know which battle in the past had forced Jiang Yunu to the point of "not risking anything".

Jiang Yunu paused for a few seconds, his eyes flashing with the base at the foot of the barren mountain on the isolated island, the moon on the top of the barren mountain, and the "ocean" with only a blue translucent texture and a salty taste, but no trace of any living creatures.

Jiang Yunu said: "Alive."

Pei Ya: "Huh?"

Jiang Yunu said: "The last time I felt I had to win at all costs was to stay alive."