Seal the Heart and Lock Love

Zhou Jianxing huddled in the corner of the dimly lit room, the pale blue light of her phone screen illuminating her confused and stubborn face. She had downloaded the app with the icon of big blue eyes—a well-known lesbian social app.

She needed an answer, an answer that could free her from her chaotic emotions: Did she really like women, or did she just have inexplicable and wrong feelings for Wen Lingyi?

As my fingertips slid across the screen, the homepage was like a bizarre kaleidoscope, instantly flooded with all kinds of female faces.

Some are as pure as the girl next door, some are as charming as a rose in the dark night, some are so sexy and hot that people dare not look directly at them, some are intellectual and elegant with a bookish air, and some have a tough style and a temperament like a boy...all kinds of beauty are coming at you.

Like an explorer entering an unfamiliar jungle, Zhou Jianxing scanned each photo with a scrutinizing gaze, trying to feel, to discover, to confirm whether her heart would be moved by a particular face or a particular temperament.

No.

As she scanned the pictures one after another, her heart became as calm as ice. No matter how sweet their smiles, how alluring their eyes, or how hot their bodies were, they could not stir up a single ripple in her heart.

She just felt dazzled, even a little... confused.

Until a photo caught her eye. Long, wavy black hair cascaded lazily over her shoulders, and a pair of slightly upturned peach blossom eyes held a hint of a smile. Her skin appeared unusually delicate and fair in the photo...

Zhou Jianxing's fingertips paused. Something seemed to poke a light pang in his heart.

She paused for a few seconds, looking into those peach blossom eyes.

Does it look like it?

A thought popped up uncontrollably. She subconsciously compared the strange woman in the photo with Wen Lingyi.

Her eyes weren't as bright as Wen Lingyi's. Wen Lingyi's eyes were like a pool of spring water, gentle when she was calm, and with an alluring glint when she smiled.

Her hair also looked smooth, but not like Wen Lingyi's. It was as black as the finest satin, and had a bright luster in the sunlight.

Her skin was white... yes, but it seemed fake, unhealthy. It wasn't like Wen Lingyi's fair skin, the pinkish white that seemed to ooze with life, the white that was full of vitality, as if you could see the fresh blood flowing beneath it...

Once the urge to compare arises, it can't be stopped. Zhou Jianxing continues scrolling down the screen, and occasionally encountering a similar type that makes her gaze linger for a moment, the voice in her heart will automatically start the comparison process.

This temperament is too frivolous and not as calm as Wen Lingyi.

That look was too deliberate, without the casual laziness of Wen Lingyi.

This outline is too harsh, Wen Lingyi's lines are softer.

…

She found that she was not looking for evidence that he liked women, but was stubbornly and futilely searching for Wen Lingyi's shadow in the vast crowd.

Every brief pause was only because she caught some extremely faint similarity, and every denial after comparison made the throbbing for Wen Lingyi in her heart more clear and more difficult to place.

Zhou Jianxing closed the recommendation page in frustration and instead clicked on the "Topic" section in the software.

She wanted to read other people's stories, to find resonance and answers. She entered keywords: "secretly in love with a straight woman", "heartbeat and confusion", "emotional confusion", "falling in love with a young woman"... As she read, Zhou Jianxing's heart grew heavier.

Few of those sharings corresponded to her current dilemma - her feelings for a clearly married woman.

Even if there are, there are only a few people discussing it, and many of them have already deleted their accounts and run away.

This special and taboo feeling, like a deserted place where no one has ever set foot, made her feel lonely and helpless. Common discussions and suggestions seemed pale and powerless to her specific and acute problem.

What she saw more was encouragement to "bravely pursue love" or advice to "let go of obsessions."

None of these apply to her. She dares not pursue, nor can she let go.

A strong desire to talk came over me.

She clicked the "+" sign for the post and hesitantly tapped on the virtual keyboard:

I think I've fallen in love with a...

Her fingers paused. The words "married woman" burned her fingertips, causing them to curl. She stared at the blank space, as if she saw herself being nailed to a pillar of shame in the future. She didn't want to be seen as a mistress who ruined other people's marriages.

This topic itself carries the labels of taboo and excitement. Once it is released, what kind of attention and comments will it attract?

What if...what if someone recognizes me?

The immense shame and fear finally overcame the urge to speak. She bit her lower lip, her fingers trembling as she deleted the opening sentence, which had almost exhausted all her courage, word by word.

The screen went blank again, just like her confused heart at the moment.

Unwilling to give up, she tried clicking on some of the more mature-looking user profiles in the app, or those with "tree hole" or "listening" in their profiles, and sent some cautious, vague consultation messages.

"Hello, can I ask you a question?"

"What should I do if I develop feelings for someone I shouldn't have?"

"Is it bad to like someone you shouldn't like?"

She didn't even dare to say straight out that she fell in love with a married woman.

Zhou Jianxing's profile was blank, and her profile picture was the default gray silhouette. In this virtual world where looks, even the packaging of homepages, matter, she seemed like a transparent person without an identity.

Most of the messages I sent went unanswered, showing as "read" but no response. Occasionally, there would be one or two replies, but they were just a brief "?" or "Please explain more clearly."

She tried to wink at those who seemed willing to communicate, mechanically repeating the gesture of sending "hello". However, there were very few responses.

The cold "read" and silent rejection were like buckets of cold water, extinguishing the faint flame of her trying to find answers elsewhere.

Zhou Jianxing exited the software, threw his phone aside, curled up, and buried his face in his knees.

Depression and powerlessness overwhelmed her. Instead of finding the answer, she realized more clearly that her feelings for Wen Lingyi were unique.

This realization made her feel both sweet and painful.

·

Under the same city night sky, dazzling lights shone through the floor-to-ceiling windows of a high-end Western restaurant, and soothing jazz music filled the air.

Wen Lingyi picked up the red wine glass and gently touched it to Su Qing's glass across from her. "Thanks, Qingqing." Her voice was filled with a relieved smile. "I was too impatient last time."

Su Qing rolled her eyes gracefully, the resentment in her eyes no longer visible. "Hmph, I'm glad to know. After all, we grew up wearing the same skirt." She put down her wine glass and looked at Wen Lingyi seriously. "But, are you really okay? Zhu Yang's phone call..."

The smile on Wen Lingyi's face faded, and her eyes became cold and sharp. "Disgusting." She uttered the two words clearly and forcefully. "The moment I heard her voice, I felt only physical disgust. My feelings for her died completely the moment I knew she was getting married. Not even ashes remain."

Wen Lingyi shook the wine glass, and the bright red liquid swayed in the glass: "The feeling now is like accidentally stepping on a piece of smelly chewing gum that can't be shaken off. It's not that I can't let it go, but I feel tainted, do you understand?"

Su Qing breathed a sigh of relief: "I understand! I understand too much! That's right! People like that should have been thrown into the garbage heap of history long ago. I see that you are in much better condition now, and your eyes are shining."

"Really?" Wen Lingyi took a sip of wine without comment.

"Of course!" Su Qing leaned closer, lowering her voice with a hint of mischief. "So, Lingyi, I suggest you find a playmate you like, relax, and stop straining yourself. You're still young, so enjoy yourself! Holding things in for too long can easily lead to internal injuries."

"Playmate?" Wen Lingyi raised an eyebrow, a figure sweating profusely in the sun, eyes as pure as a fawn flashing through her mind. Zhou Jianxing, so slow-witted that it made her laugh, yet exuding a deadly allure when focused on his work.

As soon as this thought came to mind, Wen Lingyi forcibly suppressed it.

She picked up the wine glass and took a sip in a disguised manner.

No. The last "disastrous defeat" in the garden was still fresh in her mind. Her charm and tactics, which she prided herself on, were shattered before that fool. Zhou Jianxing, completely oblivious to the hints, was he truly foolish, or was he just pretending?

No matter which possibility it was, Wen Lingyi felt uncontrollable and irritated. She didn't like the feeling of being led around by someone else.

This completely destroyed the sense of control that she was proud of.

It has to cool down.

She needs to regain her rhythm and control.

"Let's talk about it later." Wen Lingyi responded to Su Qing indifferently, avoiding the topic.

She put down her wine glass, took out her phone, and unconsciously slid her fingertips across the screen. A thought flashed through her mind, and she clicked on the App Store and re-downloaded the long-missed blue-icon app.

For a while, she used it extremely frequently. Not long after she and Zhu Yang had completely fallen out, the feeling of betrayal and emptiness almost swallowed her up. She desperately needed an outlet, a tool to prove that she was still charming and could control the situation.

This app became her hunting ground. Her profile picture was a perfectly edited half-length photo, and her profile was concise, clear, and suggestive. When she found someone she liked, she'd message her directly, express her desires, exchange photos, and if she was attracted to someone, she'd get straight to the point, seeking fleeting solace and the thrill of conquest in a luxury hotel suite.

Simple, direct, and efficient, without any emotional ties, only pure sensory stimulation and the satisfaction of the desire for control. Like a strong medicine, it temporarily numbs the wound.

But the effects of the drug always wore off. When the initial thrill and desire for revenge faded, this fast-food, emotionally disconnected intimacy left her feeling increasingly empty and uninspired. She uninstalled the app, and began a four-year, almost celibate "window period."

Until... Zhou Jianxing appeared.

There was a primal, vibrant vitality in that woman, like a stone dropped into stagnant water, stirring up unexpected waves in the still lake of her heart. The desire to get close, to tease, even to... possess her, was so intensely rekindled.

This made her feel dangerous and novel, but more importantly, she was wary of losing control.

She re-downloaded the app and logged in. Her account name remained the same as it had been before the uninstallation: "Sealed Heart, Locked Love." Her profile picture had been changed to an artistic shot, revealing only her graceful jawline and red lips, with a blurred background. Her profile was blank, exuding a sense of mystery and distance. Her photo gallery was a riot of extravagance.

Wen Lingyi needs to divert her attention and feel the pure gaming feeling of "everything is under control" again.

Across from them, Su Qing was also browsing her phone. The two of them fell silent, each immersed in their own world of screens.

Wen Lingyi opened the app's "People Nearby" function and scrolled through it carelessly. Various profile pictures and messages flashed by. Suddenly, an account made her finger stop abruptly.

Avatar: Default gray silhouette.

Nickname: Star.

Distance: < 3km.

Wen Lingyi felt like an electric current was running through her spine, her pupils contracted slightly, and her heart skipped a beat.

Xingxing? This nickname, this distance... her almost absurd yet incredibly strong intuition told her—this was Zhou Jianxing.

She immediately clicked on "Xingxing's" homepage, only to find it blank. Registration date: Today. Even more alarming was the page's status update, which showed that this "Xingxing" had, in a short period of time, sent a "wink" greeting to a large number of users.

Wen Lingyi's fingers gripping the phone tightened unconsciously, her knuckles turning slightly white.

An indescribable emotion immediately surged into Wen Lingyi's heart.

What is she looking for? Another woman?

Wen Lingyi took a deep breath. She quickly scanned her profile: "Sealed Heart, Locked Love," a mysterious profile picture, and a blank bio.

Then delete all photos on the photo wall.

Very good, there is no information that can reveal her true identity, that idiot should not be able to find her. In this anonymous virtual space, Wen Lingyi is safe.

A playful, tentative, and predatory light ignited within Wen Lingyi's heart. He'd just been trying to ignore her, to distract her, only to find the prey had walked right into his path? And in this way?

Wen Lingyi had long forgotten her original intention of opening this software.

She stared at the "star" avatar, her fingertips hovered on the screen for a moment, and then pressed the "wink" button.

A most ordinary and harmless greeting message was sent out:

Feng Xin Suo Ai: "Hello, can I get to know you?"

Sent successfully.

Wen Lingyi put down her phone, picked up the wine glass, and raised her red lips in a meaningful arc.

She wanted to see how this little star, who was as slow as a piece of wood in the garden but was winking like crazy on the dating app, would respond.

This unexpected "online encounter" seems to be much more interesting than a simple hunting game.