Want to get closer

After their chance encounter at the cafe, Zhou Jianxing's recent days have been a blur. Life continues to move forward in the same monotonous way: she goes to work, comes home, eats, and sleeps.

Everything seemed to be the same as before, yet also different. She always felt like she had lost something.

She used to be heartless and happy every day, but now, she felt that her life was like a programmed machine, precise and accurate, but empty and boring. She was not so happy anymore.

There were good things, too. That day, Zhou Jianxing was holding a calculator, frowning as he calculated how much interest he would lose if he withdrew 120,000 yuan from his savings account, when he received a call from Mr. Chen, the boss of Bai Ye Narrative.

The coffee machine insurance company can pay the claim, so she doesn't have to pay for it.

Zhou Jianxing held the phone and didn't react for a moment.

That’s strange, can you buy insurance for your coffee machine now?

Zhou Jianxing should be happy that she didn't have to pay compensation, but not being punished for her wrongdoing went against the simplest moral values ​​she had believed in for more than 20 years. Her heart felt heavy, as if it were blocked by a ball of wet cotton, and she still couldn't be happy.

"How about I pay something for it?" Zhou Jianxing asked cautiously on the phone. Even if she didn't pay for the coffee machine, she should compensate for other losses caused. "I'm really sorry for the inconvenience caused by me." Otherwise, how could she feel at ease?

"No need, the insurance company will cover everything. I have something else to do, so I'll hang up first." Chen Chiguan simply hung up the phone.

Listening to the busy tone, Zhou Jianxing stood there in a daze for a long time.

It can be said that she learned a lesson from her mistakes. Zhou Jianxing's work returned to normal and work became the focus of her life again. Zhou Jianxing took her work ten times more seriously than before, and checked and tested over and over again before the acceptance stage like she had obsessive-compulsive disorder.

She was afraid of making any more mistakes, as if only this almost paranoid rigor could slightly soothe her inner uneasiness and the unsettling sense of guilt.

However, no matter how she numbed herself with work, Wen Lingyi's face, the lazy tone of her voice, the pleasant smell of perfume on her body, and even the indifferent glance in the cafe, were like stubborn ghosts, and would still break into her mind from time to time regardless of the occasion.

Zhou Jianxing felt like the legendary sailor who was bewitched by the sirens' song. Even though he knew there was a dangerous whirlpool ahead, his soul uncontrollably wanted to sink.

She didn't know where her heart was going.

Wen Lingyi seemed to have completely disappeared from her world. Only when she occasionally glanced at the record did she have a real feeling that she had briefly passed through Mrs. Wen's world.

After that day, Wen Lingyi never contacted her again, not even once. That WeChat message still had no reply, lying alone in the chat box.

Sure enough, Wen Lingyi didn't care about her at all.

Ironically, she still cared about Wen Lingyi. She couldn't help but fantasize every day that Mrs. Wen would contact her again, and she was still looking forward to her call.

Like a pathetic addict, she uncontrollably opened Wen Lingyi's work WeChat Moments countless times a day. Even though she knew it contained only cold gallery promotions, art exhibition previews, and the occasional exquisitely composed still life photos, devoid of a trace of personal warmth, she couldn't help but refresh it over and over again.

I tried to discern some clues about Wen Lingyi's life from those lifeless pictures and texts. What was she busy with? Was she in a good mood today?

Does she...think of herself occasionally?

The summer rainstorms came with fury and frequency, just like the unending turmoil of love in Zhou Jianxing's heart. The damp feeling left by Wen Lingyi's departure was like the sun-unreached corner of the garden after a rainstorm—cold, sticky, and lingering.

Until now, Zhou Jianxing hadn't felt anything was real. Her feelings for Wen Lingyi were like a plant growing wildly in the sun and rain in midsummer, its growth momentum abruptly stopped, yet it still yearned to break free and break through all its constraints and limitations.

Zhou Jianxing could only try his best to suppress all the inappropriate thoughts in his mind.

In order to completely cut off the possibility of seeing Wen Lingyi again, she even turned down all maintenance orders in Lanyue Bay and nearby areas.

She was afraid that if she saw Wen Lingyi again, the shaky dam of rationality that she had barely built up with all her strength would collapse completely in an instant.

Zhou Jianxing knew it the last time he saw Wen Lingyi in the cafe.

She often fell into deep self-loathing.

Zhou Jianxing, how can you be so mean? It's obvious that Mrs. Wen doesn't care about you at all and treats you like air.

Yet you are still here, devoted and obsessed with it.

But on second thought, she had to bitterly admit that Zhou Jianxing should be grateful to Wen Lingyi. If Wen Lingyi had not been so cold when she was narrating the story in the white night that day, she might not have been able to make up her mind to leave Wen Lingyi completely.

As long as the other party gives her a glimmer of hope, she can burn on her own.

If Wen Lingyi had been a little more enthusiastic towards her at that time, even if there was just a slight fluctuation in her eyes, would she still have rushed towards him recklessly like a moth to a flame, loving Wen Lingyi almost desperately and not wanting to leave her life radius?

Zhou Jianxing could only comfort himself again and again that time would always take away everything.

The reason she was still having such wild thoughts was simply because time was too short. As long as time was long enough, long enough to cover all her memories of Wen Lingyi, she would always forget this inappropriate relationship, and there would always be another person who would appear in her life.

As for Mrs. Wen, it was just her futile delusion.

Zhou Jianxing picked up the long-cold strong tea on the table and let the bitter liquid slide down her throat, bringing a numbing sense of clarity. Her eyes unconsciously fell on the calendar on her desk, and she was slightly startled. Time flies so fast. How come it's almost Saturday again in the blink of an eye?

She didn't have to go to Mrs. Wen's on Saturday, and her heart felt empty.

A familiar cell phone ringtone suddenly rang out. It was the melody of "Good Night", which was the exclusive ringtone she set for Wen Lingyi.

Zhou Jianxing's whole body trembled violently as if he was hit by an electric current, and his heart beat wildly in his chest, almost breaking his ribs.

She picked up the phone tremblingly and looked at the caller ID interface. She shouldn't answer the call, but she couldn't reject it either. The best she could do was pretend she didn't hear it and wait for the ringing to stop automatically.

However, her fingers seemed to have a will of their own, betraying her brain's instructions. After hesitating for less than two seconds, her trembling fingers had already swiped across the answer button. She didn't even realize she was holding her breath.

"Hello, Master Zhou." The voice from the other end of the phone was like the gurgling of melted spring water, mixed with the subtle sound of electric current. It seemed so close, yet so unreal.

"..." Zhou Jianxing's throat tightened, as if blocked by something. She swallowed hard and barely found her voice, dry and tense: "Hello, Mrs. Wen... Hello." This simple greeting seemed to have exhausted all her strength.

"Come and help me take care of the garden tomorrow afternoon," Wen Lingyi said as if it was a matter of course, as if the deliberate distance between them and Zhou Jianxing's refusal had never happened. "It's been overgrown again lately, and it's annoying to look at it."

She naturally ignored Zhou Jianxing's WeChat message which seemed to have fallen on deaf ears.

Zhou Jianxing has already said that she will not go again.

"Mrs. Wen, but," Zhou Jianxing wondered if there was some problem with the software, and her WeChat message was not delivered to Mrs. Wen, so Mrs. Wen did not reply to her?

"But what?" Wen Lingyi interrupted Zhou Jianxing.

Zhou Jianxing's heart beat faster.

She nervously scratched a piece of old sticker that was curled up on the desk with her fingernails, trying to make her voice sound natural: "Mrs. Wen, now... now I have other work arrangements on Saturday, so I can't come."

She told a lie so clumsy that she even felt guilty about it.

"What work arrangement? If I remember correctly, Schindler Maintenance seems to have a two-day weekend system, right?" Wen Lingyi kept asking on the other end of the phone, making her scalp tingle.

Zhou Jianxing froze instantly. She hadn't expected Wen Lingyi to remember this detail, much less to question it so directly.

Telling one lie was already a huge psychological burden for her, and now she had to tell a second lie to justify the first one. Zhou Jianxing hesitated for a long time and couldn't utter a word.

"I, I," Zhou Jianxing's brain was working frantically, and she hesitated. She was looking for a suitable excuse for herself. She had never lied since she was a child. Once she lied, it would be full of loopholes and could be exposed in minutes. She was afraid that Wen Lingyi would find out that she was lying.

"I'm going on a blind date on Saturday..." At her age, a blind date should be a normal thing, right? But she forgot that she had mentioned work arrangements before.

"Blind date? Oh? So Master Zhou's job also includes blind dates?" Wen Lingyi's low laughter came from the other end of the phone. She didn't care about Zhou Jianxing's words.

The laughter penetrated Zhou Jianxing's ears and made her feel hot all over.

When his lie was exposed in front of him, Zhou Jianxing's first reaction was that Mrs. Wen's laughter was so nice. That lazy and hoarse voice didn't even sound playful when she laughed, but gentle.

"I...I mean..." Zhou Jianxing stammered on the other end of the phone, his voice trembling and his forehead covered in cold sweat.

From the moment she answered Wen Lingyi's call, her mind went blank, as if she had been deprived of the ability to think.

"I really can't go." Zhou Jianxing was afraid that the more lies she told, the more she would reveal her true thoughts. She didn't want to continue lying and just wanted to end this unsettling conversation quickly. "Mrs. Wen, I'm sorry, please find someone else to take care of the garden from now on. I really can't do it."

The conversation with Wen Lingyi made her feel so ashamed that it was a suffocating torture.

There was silence on the other end of the line for a few seconds. Wen Lingyi's slender fingers unconsciously slid across the back of the cold phone. She could almost imagine Zhou Jianxing's bewildered and gloomy expression at that moment. Perhaps his eyes were red, the tip of his nose was red, and even the mole behind his ear was red.

Is he so heartless? This little fool was so anxious that his voice was filled with tears.

"Zhou Jianxing."

Zhou Jianxing shuddered. In all the time she had known Wen Lingyi, she had never heard her call her name so directly.

She began to get nervous. Was Mrs. Wen angry? But... why? Because she refused to tend the garden? What was there to be angry about?

"I'll wait for you at the door tomorrow morning at nine o'clock." Wen Lingyi originally wanted to say the afternoon, because she always wanted to sleep in on weekend mornings, but the weather was hot now, and she couldn't bear to let the little fool ride an electric scooter to come in the scorching sun at noon in midsummer.

Why hadn't she considered this issue before?

Forget it, Wen Lingyi should sacrifice her beauty sleep and get up early.

"Mrs. Wen, I, I," Zhou Jianxing's tongue was fighting with his mouth.

Hadn't she already said she didn't want to go? Why was Mrs. Wen forcing her? She felt powerless and wronged.

"Zhou Jianxing," Wen Lingyi's voice lowered, and she emphasized each word clearly, "Tomorrow morning at nine o'clock, I want to see you appear at my door on time." She paused, "Saturday, you have nothing to do at all, right?"

There was no way. If she didn't act more assertively, this little fool would never listen to her.

She lied to Mrs. Wen. Mrs. Wen even found out about her lie. Zhou Jianxing's already shaky defenses were on the verge of collapse. She found she couldn't refuse any of Wen Lingyi's requests, especially when she called her name in that tone.

She was afraid that Wen Lingyi would be angry with her and then completely lose this weak connection.

The remaining sanity was still struggling in vain, trying to search for an excuse to save the situation. However, the next second, only a busy tone came from the phone.

Wen Lingyi has hung up the phone.

Tomorrow morning, Lanyue Bay, Mrs. Wen’s villa.

Zhou Jianxing stared blankly at the black screen of her phone. All her days of perseverance, self-determination, and agony were for nothing. Why did Mrs. Wen insist on letting her go? And what was the meaning of Mrs. Wen's indifference in the cafe last time?

She couldn't understand Wen Lingyi, not at all.

However, although her words were full of rejection and her mind was frantically alerting the police, her heart was beating happily.

Mrs. Wen contacted her again. Mrs. Wen needed her... She could see Mrs. Wen again.

That wasn't a bad thing, was it? Those flowers piled up in her house needed a proper home. They couldn't just be sent back to Chu Wei's flower shop, right? How would she explain that to Chu Wei?

And Zhou Jianxing has no other "friend" who owns a garden.

Is she going to let those lives that should bloom in the sun wither and die silently in her small room?

That's... too pitiful.

So let's go there tomorrow. Planting those flowers in Wen Lingyi's garden is a way to give them, and myself, an explanation. Maybe... when Mrs. Wen sees these flowers in the garden in the future, she'll think of her...

Then, after she finished planting the flowers and helped Mrs. Wen with her garden one last time, she solemnly told her that she would never go there again. It was over.

My heart, which was empty just now, is now filled with complex emotions.

The sky outside the window was getting gloomy, brewing another summer rainstorm.

Zhou Jianxing looked at the gray sky and realized bitterly that the rainy season in her life was far from over.

Those damp, tangled emotions, like the rainstorm in the city, continued to pour down unexpectedly, trapping her in place with nowhere to escape.