I will spend the rest of my life repaying

As dusk fell, the afterglow painted the clouds, and the setting sun dipped below the mountaintop.

When Luo Pu saw Peng Xuan'an come out, he quickly followed him and couldn't help but worry when he saw that Peng Xuan'an looked absent-minded.

"Master, have you encountered any difficulties?"

Peng Xuan'an turned his head away dejectedly, "It's nothing." The two walked to the carriage, and he stepped onto it, "Let's go back to the manor."

Luo Pu didn't dare to ask any more questions, so he picked up the whip and drove the carriage out of the palace.

The journey was smooth, but his heart was heavy and blocked. Every second, the emperor's words replayed in his mind, giving him a terrible headache. He was angry, he hated, he couldn't swallow this, especially that line, "You loved her for five years, but she loved someone else." How heart-wrenching, how painful!

He seemed to be asking her if she had ever loved him even a little bit, not even a tiny bit. He had thought that given enough time, she would let go of him, let go of Qin Mohe, and choose him instead!

He never expected that five years had passed... five years... and she hadn't let go at all, not even a little bit. She even lied to him, saying, "You've misunderstood; I only have feelings for him from the past." How ridiculous! Truly ridiculous! And he actually believed her.

Now he finally understood why she had harbored such hidden hatred in her eyes for the past five years. It turned out she had hated him all along!

"Whoa—" The car stopped.

Peng Xuan'an was in a state of confusion, realizing how ridiculous she had been. She had poured her heart and soul into the role, only to be given a mere performance.

He got up, got out of the car, and went into the mansion.

He walked slowly, his eyes lowered, filled with sorrowful pain.

“I hate you…” she once said to him after sex.

He had initially thought that he had acted rashly and caused her pain and suffering, which was why she had spoken out. Now it seemed that she had truly expressed her hatred.

He took a few steps, trying to calm himself down. Thinking about all the things that had happened over the years, about their past encounters, he wondered if it was all a coincidence or a scheme.

In the end, she was also a person with a tragic fate.

He clenched his fists, wanting to see her. But then he suddenly remembered that she was still at Yuanshe, not at the manor, and a sense of resentment welled up in his heart.

The pain was excruciating, like being gnawed at the heart with every step.

He gasped for breath, feeling suffocated: "If I were Mo He...would she be happier?" He wondered if she would be happier if he were him.

Would she then proactively care for him every day, offering him affectionate embraces? Would she, like the women of the capital, depend on and adore her husband? Would she obediently listen to him and refrain from contact with other men?

The more he thought about it, the more he hated himself for not being him...

Peng Xuan'an's mind was in turmoil. She wanted to blame her, but she also felt sorry for her because she felt that she had no choice.

“You say you’ve let go…let go of the past, but it’s a lie…” he muttered to himself. The servants who walked past him were stunned, not understanding why their master was whispering something to the air.

Peng Xuan'an unknowingly walked to the main courtyard. Looking at the door, he felt a pang of sadness. She wasn't there... What was he doing here?

He himself didn't know what to do; he was completely lost.

He took a deep breath and calmed himself down.

He wanted to go in and rest, and also think about... how to bring it up, how to ask her questions and how to answer her.

As he entered the courtyard, he turned his head and saw the flickering candlelight reflected from the window. His heart skipped a beat, but he quickly realized it was lit by a servant and opened the door without thinking much of it.

"Squeak—" The door was pushed open by him.

Peng Xuan'an froze, stunned. It was her...

Pang Linqiu stood in front of the dressing table, holding a book in her hand. She turned around and looked at Peng Xuan'an who had returned, and was also stunned.

"You..." He paused for a moment, momentarily at a loss for words, his lips trembling as he stammered, "Why...why are you back?"

Pang Linqiu turned around and walked to the desk where she handled official business, putting down the book she was holding.

"My father is sick, so I've come back to take care of him." She began packing her bags.

“…So that’s how it is…” He tried his best to act as if nothing had happened, suppressing the chaos in his heart, and wanted to ask her properly.

Seeing that he didn't look well, Pang Linqiu hesitated whether to bring up official business, but seeing his absent-minded appearance, she quickly changed her mind. She decided to show some concern for him instead, "You seem very unhappy today. Did something difficult happen?"

Peng Xuan'an shook his head slightly.

"Then why do you look so dejected?"

He closed the door and called out, "Linqiu..."

Pang Linqiu turned around, "What's wrong?"

With a serious expression and a trembling voice, he asked her, "Did you... ever love me?"

Pang Linqiu didn't know what he was trying to do, so she casually said, "Aren't you childish?"

"Answer me, did you ever truly love me?"

Seeing his serious expression, Pang Linqiu had a bad feeling. She moved closer to him, stood in front of him, and carefully observed the expression on his face.

Peng Xuan'an didn't want her to see the unease on his face, so he turned his head away to avoid her gaze.

Pang Linqiu remained silent for a moment, then gave a stiff smile: "...I loved you, are you satisfied?" Her eyes stared straight at him, scrutinizing his expression.

Peng Xuan'an was furious. She was lying without even thinking, just to keep the act going. All her words were fake, so how could he believe her? If it were before, he would have been overjoyed by her words of "having loved" him.

“Lies! Fake! It’s all fake!” he roared, veins bulging on his neck; he was furious.

Pang Linqiu was stunned, not knowing what she had done to provoke him.

His voice weakened, and he repeated heartbrokenly, "You hate me...you hate me..."

Pang Linqiu found him acting strangely today and decided to calm him down first. She sighed helplessly, looked at him gently, and said softly, "I don't know what you're talking about, but Xuan'an..."

She took Peng Xuan'an's drooping hand, held his hands in her own, and her eyes were full of tenderness: "If I didn't love you, how could I have married you?"

Peng Xuan'an found it laughable, withdrew his hand, his face darkening as he suppressed the surging sorrow, and calmly said, "I know everything... Your Majesty... told me everything..."

Pang Linqiu was stunned, staring at him with wide eyes.

The scene was filled with silence, unease, speculation, and suspicion...

She was sweating profusely, as if she had been caught doing something wrong, and she was very uneasy! She forced herself to calm down and think about what he meant by saying those words.

Perhaps he was trying to test me, or to get some information out of me, his expression reserved yet tender, "I don't know why you're talking nonsense, but how could five years of affection be fake?"

The phrase "five years" seemed to have triggered Peng Xuan'an's bottom line, filling him with anger and hatred. He took a deep breath and said, "You never really wanted to marry me! It was His Majesty! It was His Majesty who forced you to marry him!"

She was struck dumb, her eyes widening in disbelief as she stared at him, instantly understanding why he looked so dejected today. So His Majesty had already told him; perhaps he had come to get some answers, but what about her family…?

Thinking of her family's life or death, she felt uneasy instantly, and Peng Xuan'an in front of her suddenly became terrifying.

Suddenly, she bumped into Peng Xuan'an's arms, held tightly in his embrace, unable to break free. Peng Xuan'an lowered his head, resting it on her shoulder and his head against hers, his eyes reddening.

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry... I'm the one who hurt you..." he confessed softly, his voice trembling slightly.

Pang Linqiu was stunned. Shouldn't he be angry? Shouldn't he have drawn his sword and killed her? Shouldn't he hate her for deceiving him? Why was he holding her tightly and saying sorry, that he was the one who ruined her life?

She was momentarily disoriented, unsure whether it was a nightmare or harsh reality.

The damp heat on her shoulder touched her skin, pulling her back to reality. It was true… He seemed to be crying, and she didn't know why he was so sad. Was it because he realized she didn't love him at all that he was weeping? Pang Linqiu swallowed hard.

"Why? Why? All these years, all you see is hatred, and no longer any affection for the past?" he questioned in a low voice.

Pang Linqiu didn't know what to say.

"Was it something I did wrong...?"

“It’s almost the end of the month, Peng Xuan’an, we should talk.”

"Okay." Peng Xuan'an released her.

In the blink of an eye, we arrived at the main courtyard.

The night was quiet, and the wind seemed to carry a chill as it whistled through the two of them, allowing them to calmly accept the situation.

The cold marble table was empty. The two sat facing each other. He looked at her, but she avoided his gaze and lowered her head.

"Who have you actually liked over the past five years...?" He broke the silence first.

“Peng Xuan’an, who I like, you can’t tell me…” She looked up at him, seemingly with resentment: “Don’t you know best?”

Yes, he knows best. She set up scene after scene for Qin Mohe, just to get rid of him.

He mocked his own foolishness, "Sorry..."

She said calmly, "Since you already know, I'll just get straight to the point and tell you everything."

"good."

"This charade between husband and wife is nothing but a game, a ridiculous play. There's no real affection involved; it's all just a game of chess to keep going."

“My father is old and can’t take any more trouble, so I don’t mind suffering some grievances myself. Ever since I asked His Majesty for my leave, I’ve been thinking…” Her eyes were numb as she looked at him: “I’ve been thinking about how I can make… you kill me.”

Peng Xuan'an looked at her in surprise, "You..."

"When you said you sensed my hatred for you during the autumn hunt, I panicked. I didn't know how to make excuses, but luckily you didn't investigate further, so I had no choice but to keep my hatred to myself."

Peng Xuan'an remained silent for a while...

He seemed to be making a decision, "I'm sorry, it's my fault that you're forced to marry me..."

"No matter how many apologies you make, it won't change the current situation between us..."

"Let's get a divorce."

...The surrounding air seemed to freeze instantly, and the atmosphere changed.

Pang Linqiu looked at him in disbelief. Peng Xuan'an turned his head away, unable to bear looking at her, afraid that his reluctance would make him regret his decision.

He blamed himself, saying, "It's my fault... that you've become like this." His gaze casually fell on the flowers and plants in the courtyard. "You can rest assured that after the divorce, I will request to leave Kyoto and will not set foot in Kyoto again unless there are special circumstances."

"The money in the manor will be divided 70% to you and 30% to me, as a way of making up for the five years you spent with me."

She panicked slightly: "But... my family..."

"You can rest assured about that. I assure you that His Majesty will not touch the Pang family again. I will also ask His Majesty to let you marry a good husband."

Pang Linqiu didn't know what to say, so she turned her head away to think.

He stole a few glances at her, then lowered his eyes and said gratefully, "Linqiu, thank you so much for your companionship over the years. You've helped me understand..."

She interrupted, saying, "Let me think about it."

Peng Xuan'an's lips curled into a slight smile, feeling happy. She was happy that her husband hadn't left so decisively, but rather hesitated, which meant that he still harbored feelings for her all these years.

Peng Xuan'an shut his mouth and waited for her answer.

After thinking for a moment, she asked him softly, "Do you... want a divorce?"

Peng Xuan'an was flattered and surprised. Shouldn't this be her decision? If she wanted to leave, he would let her go. If she didn't want to, he would be happy to treat her a hundred times better and stay with her for life.

"I..." He didn't dare to voice his true thoughts. He shook his head and smiled bitterly, "I don't care, it's mainly... up to you..."

Pang Linqiu understood, and she could sense a hint of reluctance in his words. She wanted to leave, but then she remembered what her mother had told her: "When something unexpected happens suddenly, there's always some kind of deal behind it, so don't rush into a decision."

She thought it best not to act impulsively, even though... she couldn't wait to leave.

She forced a smile and faced him calmly: "I...I don't think we need to divorce..."

Peng Xuan'an stared at her in astonishment, unable to believe his eyes. He felt that the probability of her choosing not to leave was very, very small. How could she choose not to leave him when she wanted to leave him so badly?

"Really? Really?" he asked cautiously, suppressing his excitement.

"Mm." She nodded.

"You... won't regret it..." He wanted her to reaffirm her choice.

"No...regret." She hesitated noticeably. "And what you owe me, you can never repay..."

Peng Xuan'an saw through it, but didn't say anything. "Alright... then we won't leave. I know I owe you so much, and I will spend the rest of my life repaying you, so Linqiu... don't leave me..." His eyes were full of affection, his gaze filled with nothing but her: "Okay?"

“…Okay…” she reluctantly agreed.

Peng Xuan'an smiled, but the smile was not happy; rather, it was filled with sorrow.

"Thank you."

"That's enough for today, I'm tired..." She got up to go back to her room.

Peng Xuan'an also got up and followed her back to the room to rest.