When Huang Yan finally arrived in Beijing, three days had passed since Yao Mingyuan committed suicide.

She stood at the door of the morgue, still unable to believe why her son, who had been so full of life before, suddenly chose to commit suicide.

But when the police opened the large drawer where the body was stored, she finally saw her son with a frosty face but a smile on his lips.

"Wuwuwaaaaa Mingyuan, my Mingyuan, ahhhh——"

"Mingyuan, open your eyes and look at your mother. Wow, Mingyuan—"

Huang Yan hugged Yao Mingyuan's body like a madman, pressed her face against it, and cried so hard that her whole body trembled uncontrollably.

The son she had raised with great effort, unwilling to eat or wear just to give him one more bite, was lying here coldly. Huang Yan, who had high hopes for him, could not control herself at all.

The policewoman next to her thought Huang Yan was in her sixties because of her gray hair and unkempt clothes.

The policewoman also has an elderly mother of similar age at home, and she couldn't bear to disturb her for the time being.

But because they were worried that she would continue to suffer from this, they had her helped to sit in the reception area to the side.

The police officer in charge of the case handed Yao Mingyuan's diary to Huang Yan.

"This is your son's diary. We've interviewed people around him and consulted experts. He likely suffered from depression, but no one discovered it and intervened in time. This led to today's tragedy. We deeply regret this."

Huang Yan was still dazed at this time. She looked up at the police officer who was speaking with her red and swollen eyes.

"What did you say? What's wrong with my son?"

"depression."

No matter how low Huang Yan's education level is, she has heard of depression. In the past, she just heard about it and even thought that people with this disease were really sick.

I have a good life but I just keep daydreaming about random things. I don’t know what’s so depressing.

But now the one who is worried is her son, the son that she has always been proud of.

Thinking of this, Huang Yan couldn't help but cover her face and cry.

Later, Yao Nan also came, and the two had no choice but to arrange Yao Mingyuan's funeral in Beijing.

In fact, there is nothing to arrange. The two people here don’t know each other, and there is no need to arrange such a thing.

As parents, they were in no mood to deal with outsiders.

When Huang Yan returned to Qingping with Yao Mingyuan's ashes, Yao Nan asked her for a divorce before she could even catch her breath.

Yao Nan said that she used to think she had raised her child quite well, and the two of them could get by because they had their son.

But now it’s different. His son is gone, and he no longer has the idea of living with Huang Yan.

What he could not forgive the most was that his son committed suicide because of Huang Yan's constant coercion.

Yao Nan discovered all this in the diary left by Yao Mingyuan!

If Huang Yan had not been too strict in disciplining him and using her own set of social theories that she thought could help her son avoid detours, how could a good child commit suicide?

Yao Nan kept using these words to stimulate Huang Yan, and finally made her realize that it was really her excessive love for her son that put him under so much pressure that he even committed suicide because he could not bear the burden.

The more Huang Yan thought about it, the more guilty she felt. She wished she could die right away just to be with her son.

But when she thought of what her son wrote in his diary.

"I don't know if other people enjoy the feeling of snuggling with their mothers, but when I see her approaching, I feel oppressed from the bottom of my heart. At one point, this oppression made it hard for me to breathe, and I just wanted to disappear from this world immediately."

Her proximity makes her son want to disappear from the world. How disgusting is that.

Whenever Huang Yan thought about it, her heart would tighten in pain.

Later, when she divorced Yao Nan, she did not fight for any rights for herself. Instead, she gave the house to him according to his wishes and only took a small portion of the savings.

Yao Nan considers himself a scholar and receives a fixed salary every month, which has not changed much over the years.

Because a lot of money has been spent on Yao Mingyuan over the years, the Yao family doesn't have much savings.

For many years afterwards, Huang Yan lived with guilt towards her son and repented every day.

If I could go back to the past, I would definitely not force my son like before, and I would not stop him from making friends because of my prejudice against his social status.

I thought about the things I did and the words I said many times when my son wanted to rebel.

Huang Yan couldn't help but slap herself in regret.

When Huang Yan was 65 years old, she was sent to the hospital by her colleagues because of severe pain all over her body. She was diagnosed with advanced lung cancer.

But when she heard the news, she laughed and finally felt relieved.

She wished she could die immediately and be reincarnated.

She also wants to be Mingyuan's mother.

This time, she will definitely be a different mother.

A mother who is determined not to let her son feel pressured by anything close to her.

Finally, on a cold winter night, Huang Yan struggled to come out of the rental house. She had a premonition that she was about to die.

But she still wanted to see her son before she died, so she dragged her aching body, step by step, towards the cemetery in the suburbs.

When she reached the foot of the mountain, she could no longer hold on and finally fell to the ground.

Huang Yan looked at the falling snowflakes in a trance.

She seemed to see her toddler son again, with an adoring smile on his face, staggering towards her.

Shouting, "Mom."

Mother……

"Dangdangdang"

The knock on the door suddenly woke up the sleeping Huang Yan, and she sat up suddenly from the bed.

"Mom? Why haven't you gotten up yet? Are you feeling unwell?"

A familiar yet unfamiliar voice sounded outside the door. This voice had appeared in Huang Yan's dreams thousands of times.

Yao Mingyuan looked at the clock in the living room. It was already half past nine, but his mother had not yet gotten up.

This had never happened before. He overslept today and didn't get up until nine o'clock.

I thought I would face my mother's scolding when I came out, but after turning around, I didn't see her.

"Mom? Are you in the room?"

Hearing the sound coming from outside again, Huang Yan's eyes suddenly widened. She didn't even bother to put on her shoes and opened the door.

Looking at her son, who still looked like a high school student, standing there in good health, Huang Yan's tears suddenly fell, and she couldn't help but hug her son tightly.

"Mingyuan——"

"Damn Mingyuan——"

"Are you willing to forgive your mother?"

"After all these years, you're finally willing to come and see your mother, right?"

"Mom knows she was wrong, she really knows she was wrong, woooo ......"

Yao Mingyuan looked stunned. He didn't know what was wrong with his mother. Why did her mother, who always told him that boys should not have intimate actions with their mothers when they grow up, suddenly hug him?

And he hugged me so tightly!

"……mom?"

Yao Mingyuan said hesitantly.