Chapter 238 The Heart Knot is the Hardest to Untie

Cui Si was quite tolerant towards Shen Mo.

Although sometimes she was a little annoyed that Chen Mo always thought about Yan Xingchuan, and she was a little angry with him, he didn't have any major shortcomings. He and Cui Hao were a loving couple, and she could not find any fault with the Cui family.

Chen Mo heaved a sigh of relief upon hearing this, reaching out to wipe the nonexistent sweat off his face. "Your Highness is right. I appreciate your advice. Today was too hasty, so I'll have someone prepare a generous gift tomorrow."

"Don't be busy right now. You're tired these days, so take a good rest. After the New Year, you can prepare the betrothal gifts."

"If you have any questions about this matter, you can discuss it with the Cui family. Although the marriage was the idea of ​​the King of Northern Yan, it is a matter of tying the two families together. It is also about you two living together. If there is anything you are unhappy about, please make it clear in advance to avoid any rifts between you two in the future."

Shen Mo nodded repeatedly, expressing his agreement: "I will make a note of this."

But he thought of Yan Xingchuan and couldn't help but ask again, "I just want to ask Princess Wang, is there any rift or rift between you and the Lord? How can it be resolved?"

Cui Si's smile faded upon hearing this. Seeing that he looked a little nervous and serious, as if he really wanted to get to the bottom of things, she thought for a moment and said, "Since there's a barrier in your heart, how can it be easily resolved? I don't know the answer to your question."

In this world, the most difficult thing to untie is the knot in one’s heart.

Or maybe, Yan Xingchuan has done too much now, and she doesn't want to fall into the same trap again, nor does she want to be the Princess of Northern Yan and bear the burden of this identity.

Yan Xingchuan wanted to resolve her emotional knot, but it was really difficult because even she herself didn't know how to resolve it.

Shen Mo was stunned for a moment, and then he became quiet.

"Is there really no other way?"

He really couldn't bear to see Yan Xingchuan living such a miserable life, and perhaps he would never be able to do so in his entire life.

"I don't know." Cui Si didn't even know herself.

When she was reborn, she only wanted to run towards a new life. She only hoped that she and Yan Xingchuan would be well and not cause trouble to each other. Those things were in the past.

The past has nothing to do with us anymore.

Yan Xingchuan wanted to be with her, but she was very resistant to it in her heart. She would rather live a quiet life alone than go down this old path again.

Apart from the child, there was nothing between them worth her reminiscing about.

He is not worthy.

Cui Si said, "Don't worry about what happened between him and me. Just take care of yourself. We have learned from the past, so don't make the same mistake again."

Chen Mo opened his mouth, but seeing that Cui Si didn't want to say more, he didn't dare to ask any more, for fear of upsetting her and making her remember Yan Xingchuan again.

"Go back and rest."

After parting with Shen Mo, Cui Si returned to Qingwu Courtyard.

It was getting dark at this time, and maids and servants were lighting lamps along the way. Soon, the Cui family was illuminated by festive lights.

On New Year’s Eve, the lights come on.

In the blink of an eye, another year has passed.

It had snowed, and there was some snow on the ground that had not yet been cleared. Cui Si walked slowly, as if taking this time to slowly look at the house where she had spent her girlhood.

"I'm old."

She suddenly sighed.

If she was still a girl of sixteen or seventeen, she might be moved to tears if Yan Xingchuan treated her like this, but she was not like that after all.

Song Lu felt strange: "Why do you feel this way, my lady? After the New Year, you will only be seventeen, which is the best time of your life."

Cui Si smiled and said, "Yes, yes, I'm only seventeen, so young. Why can't I be happy like a young lady?"

They returned to Qingwu Courtyard and drank a cup of hot tea. After the coldness brought from outside had dissipated, Cui Si took out Yan Xingchuan's letter.

In the light of the white palace lantern, the handwriting on it seemed somewhat familiar, and the letter was not thin.

She hesitated for a moment, then finally opened the envelope and took out the letter to read it.

He didn't say anything important in the letter, he just asked her how she was doing in Xianyang City, and then he told her what he had recently gotten and asked Chen Mo to bring it to her.

Cui Si thought at the time that sometimes people are really... well, quite mean.

In my previous life, I might not receive a letter from him throughout the whole year. If there was something, he would tell me what it was about. If there was nothing, he would just say "don't worry about me, I'm well."

He was fighting for the world in the front, and she was guarding the rear. Apart from being husband and wife in name, they also had a child, and then all that was left was their own moral obligations.

We don’t know how to cherish when we should, and we don’t know how to be attentive when we should be attentive. Only when we lose something do we think about getting it back and changing it.

He turned her feelings towards marriage and love into a stagnant pool, and now he wants to make this stagnant pool give rise to expectations and feelings for him.

It's ridiculous.

Chen Mo felt that Yan Xingchuan was suffering. He couldn't bear to let go, couldn't get what he wanted, and had no way to retreat. She didn't leave him any way to go forward, so he was trapped here.

But he was not related to her. It was already a matter of conscience for her to persuade him to let her go and move on. She absolutely could not sacrifice herself to fulfill his wish.

He's not that important yet.

At this moment, Yanzhi walked in from outside: "Madam, the King of Beiyan sent a lot of things to you. The old lady has sent them over. Where should I put them?"

"What is it?"

"They're all storable food and daily necessities, including tea, wine, cloth, jewelry, and some medicinal herbs and supplements. Oh, and there are also quite a few books."

"I heard that the King of Northern Yan conquered Laizhou and obtained a lot of books from the Xie family. General Shen also brought a lot of books to Xianyang Academy during his visit. Although they are copied, they can enrich the academy's collection and provide students with reading and learning."

"My lady has some travel notes, some rare books, and paintings."

Cui Si nodded. It was similar to what he said in the letter. The travel notes and miscellaneous notes were for her to read to pass the time, while the rare books and paintings were for collection and appreciation.

Cui Si sighed, feeling somewhat distressed. "Tell me, how can I get him to stop sending me off?"

"Ah?" Yanzhi was stunned. After thinking for a moment, she said, "I'm afraid it's hard to refuse."

We still have to give face to the King of Northern Yan. This is the lord. Who can refuse a gift from the lord and have it carried back?

Yanzhi thought for a moment and asked, "Madam, do you feel uncomfortable because you took too much of the King of Northern Yan's things and didn't want to treat him well?"

Cui Si pressed the corners of her mouth: "I don't like to owe others."

It would be fine if it happened once or twice, and she would accept it and ask him to shut up, but judging from the situation, he would probably send things often, which would be very troublesome.

Yanzhi thought for a moment and said, "I think the books you wrote are very useful. If you have time, please write more. The gifts from the King of Northern Yan can be considered as money he spent to buy your books."