Chapter 70: "I will never let you go again."...

After seeing Pei Xuanlin off, Ling Zhenli wandered alone in the empty palace without Pei Xuanlin. The wind rose, her skirt fluttered lightly, and her heart felt empty and lonely.

She then moved from Daming Palace to the more elegant Xingqing Palace, which had less of the solemnity of the previous dynasty and more of a lively atmosphere.

It was the height of summer, and the jasmine in the garden was in full bloom, pure white as snow, with a delicate fragrance that lingered in the breeze. Ling Zhenli sat in the waterside pavilion, her painting table still.

Having a rare moment of free time, she realized that she hadn't painted in a long time.

Ling Zhenli dipped her brush in ink and carefully drew jasmine flowers on the rice paper.

As the pen moves across the paper, the petals are as delicate as silk, and the dewdrops seem ready to fall, as if they will roll down and soak the paper at any moment.

"Your Majesty's painting is truly excellent," a standing palace maid couldn't help but exclaim softly. "The jasmine flowers are so lifelike, they're just as good as those painted by the masters in the palace academy."

Ling Zhenli paused slightly with her pen, gazing at the two small flower buds nestled together on the drawing paper, a faint smile appearing on her lips.

“When I was a child, my favorite thing was drawing. Dancing and playing the piano had to take a backseat to it. I would draw everything I saw and thought, as if I was piecing together my scattered soul.”

As she finished speaking, she recalled an autumn day two years ago.

At that time, she liked Xiao Chongheng very much, so she drew a self-portrait in front of the mirror and secretly stuffed it into Xiao Chongheng's clothes.

The past doesn't forgive.

She created paintings to compensate for the wasted life, time, love, and everything else, and poured her emotions into her paintings.

"I don't want to paint anymore, you can put the painting away."

Ling Zhenli put down her pen, got up and walked to the railing.

As the sun set, she gazed at the pond at her feet. This was the place where she and Pei Xuanlin had spent countless times. Here, she played the pipa for him, told jokes, and gradually warmed his heart. He fell in love with her, and so she fell in love with him too.

That's just how she is; she loves whoever gives her love and companionship.

A palace maid brought her a pot of roses to admire. Ling Zhenli gently broke off a branch and twirled it between her fingers. The layers of bright red petals evoked many memories for her.

Pei Xuanlin's warmth, Pei Xuanlin's kiss, and the table full of his signature dishes that Pei Xuanlin personally cooked for her.

Time always flies when you're thinking. Before I knew it, it was getting dark, and the evening breeze carried the fragrance of the lotus pond.

Ling Zhenli took a deep breath and threw the rose in her hand into the pond. The petals floated on the water and drifted away with the ripples.

"Your Highness, it's time for dinner. Lady Anguo will be arriving soon." A maid's voice came from behind.

Ling Zhenli turned around, her face now calm: "Serve the meal."

She was a child who lacked love.

Her mother's use of surrogacy to gain power was not honorable. Although she was beautiful, her rigid and dogmatic father looked down on her methods and therefore did not love her.

If a man doesn't love a woman, he won't love the child she gives birth to, especially since Ling Zhenli is a girl and her father is a patriarchal man. Fortunately, he didn't mistreat his daughter Ling Zhenli because he preferred boys, but he only cared about Ling Zhenli out of a father's responsibility to take care of and educate his children, and he never spoiled her.

Because of her father's attitude, Ling's mother also didn't value her daughter Ling Zhenli. She treated her daughter as if she didn't exist and focused all her attention on her husband, hoping to give birth to a son and gain his favor. Unfortunately, Ling's mother was in poor health and was unable to conceive a second child.

Ling Zhenli thought that if it weren't for the sudden change, she might have spent her whole life trying to gain her parents' approval, or she might have followed her father's arrangements, married a poor scholar for his reputation as a scholar, and then devoted herself to her husband, repeating her mother's mistakes...

Now, she is adorned with jewels and fine silks; nothing less than the finest items in the world are worthy of her, and no man less than the most distinguished in the world is good enough for her.

Father, Mother, it is your honor to have given birth to your daughter.

"Ah Li, are you hungry? I'm late. I was going to have someone tell you that if you're hungry, you can eat something first and don't have to wait for me. But your brother kept nagging me to come and bothered me so I forgot. You must be starving, my good child."

As soon as Cui Yuerong entered the room, she walked towards Ling Zhenli with a smile, and Ling Zhenli looked up and smiled back at her.

"It's alright, Mother, I'm not hungry. I had some snacks while I was painting in the garden this afternoon."

"That's good. I should have come to see you before, but there were so many hard things that happened. Fortunately, they're all over now."

After Cui Yuerong finished speaking, she smiled gently. She knew that she had wronged Ling Zhenli a lot in the past. A girl who was not yet a teenager had gone through so many hardships. She was finally adopted, but was then violated by her brother. She and Xue Wenmian did not pay much attention to or intervene.

Fortunately, they realized their mistake in time and made amends to Ling Zhenli, who then chose to forgive them.

The palace servants were all guarding outside, and Ling Zhenli dared to speak up. She held Cui Yuerong's hand and smiled bitterly.

“Mother, thank you for loving me. I am truly grateful to you. My biological parents are also very good to me, but they don’t spoil me like you do. You even protected me when Pei Xuanlin was wandering in Jiangnan. If it weren’t for you, I would have been killed by Pei Shang’er long ago…”

Cui Yuerong looked at Ling Zhenli with affection and comforted her, "Alright, this is what we as parents should do. But now that you are the Empress, you can no longer kill people indiscriminately, at least not openly. Your father asked me to tell you that your Empress Phoenix Seal is now second only to His Majesty's Imperial Seal. During this time when His Majesty is away, you must learn to use it. His Majesty loves you, but there are too many precedents. In order to prevent His Majesty from changing his mind and deposing the Empress and establishing another one in the future, you can no longer continue to be reckless."

Ling Zhenli nodded earnestly: "I will learn from my father."

"There's no need to be so hard on yourself. As long as your father and I are alive, we will not allow His Majesty to depose you. Your father is a cunning and shrewd man with plenty of tricks up his sleeve."

Ling Zhenli chuckled after hearing this: "Oh dear, Mother, if Father heard you say that, he would be so heartbroken."

"It's okay, he's not here." Cui Yuerong blinked.

Fate brought the two of them together as mother and daughter, a unique destiny that taught Ling Zhenli that there is more than just romantic love in the world; there is also familial love, and both kinds of love are equally precious.

Days passed, summer ended, autumn arrived, and news came from the front lines that the army had won a great victory. Pei Xuanlin would be able to pack up and return to the capital soon after resolving the war. The relationship between Ling Zhenli and Cui Yuerong, mother and daughter, was also getting better and better.

Ling Zhenli was overjoyed. Long ago, she dreamed of having a loving mother and a husband who only had eyes for her. Now she had both. With double happiness, she felt that this autumn was especially beautiful.

There was no Empress Dowager at the time, and as a way of repaying Cui Yuerong for her love, Ling Zhenli made Cui Yuerong's status as noble as that of the Empress Dowager.

That night, Ling Zhenli invited Cui Yuerong to stay in the palace and sleep with her.

She had never slept with her mother since she could remember, and Cui Yuerong made up for that regret.

"Pei Xuanlin is coming back, Mother! I can hardly believe it! It's not even winter yet! I thought he wouldn't be back until next spring!"

"With a prosperous nation and a strong military, there's no need for such a long time. Seeing how good your relationship is with His Majesty makes me happy for you."

After hearing this, Ling Zhenli thought about how the court officials would bring up the issue of having offspring again after Pei Xuanlin returned victorious from his battle. She felt a little disappointed and lowered her head. Cui Yuerong noticed her sudden downcast mood and was puzzled.

"What's wrong? You were fine just now, happy that His Majesty was coming back. Why are you all mournful now?"

"The court officials keep urging His Majesty to take a concubine, and I haven't been able to conceive yet. I'm still young, and His Majesty can comfort me, but I know that if I still don't have a child in a few years..."

Ling Zhenli was not uneducated. In history, if a loving couple was unable to have children, the husband would take a concubine or marry another woman to continue the family line.

Once men reach a certain age, they no longer care about vows of eternal love or promises of forever; all they think about is continuing the family line.

Cui Yuerong understood her daughter's worries, but Ling Zhenli was still young, too young. All her anxiety stemmed from her lack of confidence in herself.

“You are only seventeen years old this year, my son. I was eighteen when I had your brother. You are too impatient. Alas, being anxious and stressed all the time is not a good thing. Well, I heard that there is a method that is very effective, but it involves witchcraft and is a risky move.”

Witchcraft has been a taboo since ancient times. Ling Zhenli believed that those things were just tricks to fool people and could only serve as psychological comfort. Since they were fake, she might as well do them. At least they could give her some psychological comfort and prevent her from feeling hopeless all the time like she does now.

"Mother, please make the arrangements," Ling Zhenli sighed. "At least it will give me some comfort."

The next day, before dawn, Cui Yuerong had already sent people to sweep the courtyard and burn incense to set up an altar. A monk wearing a faded crimson robe came through the morning mist, his steps steady, his eyes lowered, holding a dark wooden plaque in his hand. It was made of ancient wood that had been struck by lightning, said to be an object of the clash between heaven and earth, containing the energy of yin and yang transformation, most suitable for communicating with spirits and gods.

The monk made this item into a wooden plaque, engraved the names of the gods and spirits of heaven and earth and Pei Xuanlin's birth date and time on it, and made it into a necklace for Ling Zhenli to wear.

"Wearing this will bless His Majesty with the birth of a son soon, so that he can be compared to Empress Wan in the future."

***

Autumn weather always carries an indescribable chill.

The wind swept through the mountains and forests on the outskirts of the city. The sky was overcast and the clouds hung low, as if a rain had not yet fallen, making people feel depressed.

The sedan chair stopped in front of the mansion. Ling Zhenli lifted the curtain, revealing a simple white and pink dress with a brocade cloak over it. Her hair was styled in a high bun with a slightly askew hairpin, and her eyes were cool and aloof.

"Your Majesty, we have arrived." The accompanying palace maid bowed her head.

Ling Zhenli nodded slightly and looked up at the other courtyard.

Xiao Chongheng's villa, nestled against the mountain and beside the water, was originally built to keep her as a mistress, but now that she's run away, he can't hide her anymore.

After entering the room and closing the door, before Xiao Chongheng could speak, Ling Zhenli spoke first: "I am now the Empress and cannot stay outside the palace for long. If you have anything important to say, please speak quickly."

Is it really that urgent?

Xiao Chongheng walked slowly out of the inner room, wearing a long robe with the collar slightly open and his hair slightly messy, adding a touch of unruly handsomeness.

"Yes, it's urgent."

"Come in first."

He leaned against the door frame, staring intently at her. Ling Zhenli had no choice but to walk past him and enter the inner room.

Xiao Chongheng smiled, completely unconcerned by her ignoring him, and followed her into the inner room. Ling Zhenli stood by the door, while he sat on the bed.

Seeing that Ling Zhenli didn't move, Xiao Chongheng had no choice but to raise his hand and gently pat the edge of the bed beside him, his voice low and hoarse: "Come here, sit here."

"I won't sleep with you anymore."

Ling Zhenli frowned even deeper, a hint of displeasure flashing in her eyes.

She felt that Xiao Chongheng had misunderstood the purpose of her visit today, and explained calmly, "I came to completely sever ties with you. If you have nothing else to say, I will return to the palace."

"I know you will never belong to me again."

"Good to know."

"Ah Li, can you please not go?"

Xiao Chongheng softened his tone and called out to her.

Seeing him like this, Ling Zhenli sighed. She was always too soft-hearted and couldn't bring herself to sever all the ill-fated relationships.

What are you going to do now?

"I haven't seen you in so long, I miss you so much."

Xiao Chongheng got out of bed, took a few steps forward, walked to Ling Zhenli, and wanted to reach out to hug her but was afraid of being too abrupt.

"Think of me, and then what?"

Pei Xuanlin will be back in a few days.

Upon hearing Pei Xuanlin's name, Ling Zhenli's eyes softened with tenderness. She smiled slightly and said, "Yes, he's coming back. I've been waiting for him for a long time."

"Could you spend more of your last moments with me?"

“No.” Ling Zhenli refused without hesitation.

"How about tonight? Let's have dinner together tonight."

Xiao Chongheng's aura enveloped Ling Zhenli, his voice low and deep, his words sounding both pleading and brooking no refusal.

"From now on, you belong to Pei Xuanlin alone. Tonight, let's say goodbye."

In his eyes, there was the stubbornness that Ling Zhenli was familiar with, as well as a vulnerability that was rarely seen.

The autumn wind outside swirled up fallen leaves, creating a rustling sound, as if the leaves were swirling between the two of them.

Looking at the pleading in his eyes, Ling Zhenli felt a dull pain in her heart, but in the end, she softened: "Okay, you said it, this is the last time."

...

A table of delicacies had already been prepared at Zuixianlou, including abalone in clear broth, peony swallow's nest, grilled shrimp, braised sea cucumber with scallions, and a bowl of jasmine pearl soup in front of her. All of these were dishes that Ling Zhenli loved to eat.

Xiao Chongheng personally served her food, his manners as considerate as they were back then.

“I remember you love this golden minced fish,” Xiao Chongheng placed a piece of crystal-clear fish into her bowl. “I specially asked the chef to make it according to your taste. Try it.”

Ling Zhenli took a small bite, and the taste was indeed exactly the same as she remembered.

She couldn't help but recall that many years ago, also in the Drunken Immortal Pavilion, Xiao Chongheng always took such meticulous care of her diet, fulfilling her every wish—whatever she wanted to eat, wear, or use.

"The past is the past, Ahri."

Xiao Chongheng smiled and said, as if he could see through her thoughts.

Ling Zhenli used to always say these words to Xiao Chongheng, but today it was Xiao Chongheng who said them to Ling Zhenli, which made Ling Zhenli feel a little strange.

Xiao Chongheng saw through her thoughts once again and said, "You are my beloved. Although I let you go, my heart has never thought of leaving you."

Ling Zhenli bit her lip, hardened her heart, and said in a low voice, "Just like you said, let bygones be bygones. You and I are no longer the same people we used to be."

“But in my heart, you will always be you, and that has never changed.” Xiao Chongheng chuckled and raised his glass. “Alright, I’ll listen to you. Come on, let’s have a drink to bid farewell to our past.”

Ling Zhenli hesitated for a moment, but finally raised her glass and clinked it lightly with his.

The wine went down their throats, warm with a hint of bitterness, much like their relationship—passionate yet ultimately doomed to fail.

"I've thought about it. If I had stolen your sedan chair on your wedding day and taken you away, would everything have been different?" Xiao Chongheng turned his head to look at Ling Zhenli, his eyes revealing his feelings.

Ling Zhenli looked up at him, a hint of pain flashing in her eyes. She smiled weakly and said, "No, even if we could do it all over again, you wouldn't do it this way. Because in the beginning, you were the one who abandoned me and married Pei Chanlian. Ah Xun, once a decision is made, there's no going back. Why would you say you regret it and want to do it all over again? There's no such thing as a do-over in life."

"No, I really will do it again." Xiao Chongheng's already affectionate eyes became even more determined.

Ling Zhenli just smiled this time, somewhat perfunctorily: "Okay, then if time could turn back, you must cherish me and never abandon me for someone else again."

The moment Ling Zhenli looked up to drink, Xiao Chongheng's eyes darkened. Yes, this time I won't abandon you again. We will be together, forever and ever.

That hostility vanished in an instant. After Ling Zhenli put down her wine cup, she saw Xiao Chongheng looking at her with deep affection and reluctance.

“Tell me the truth, you still love me, right?” he asked.

Ling Zhenli shook her head without hesitation: "No."

"Then why do you come to see me immediately when I want to? Why, even after Pei Xuanlin is with you, do you still maintain a relationship with me?"

Ling Zhenli was speechless.

It would have been better if Pei Xuanlin hadn't been mentioned, but Xiao Chongheng's mention of him brought him back to her mind. Pei Xuanlin had been so good to her; he loved her, and she had fallen in love with him too. How could she possibly do anything to betray him again?

Ling Zhenli let out a long sigh; it was time to make things clear with Xiao Chongheng.

“In the past, whether out of unwillingness to admit defeat or out of revenge, I couldn’t let go of you. I hated that you didn’t love me, hated that you were heartless for abandoning me when I lost my child. Back then, I didn’t understand love, but now I do. As long as I have him, I can give up everything else.”

Ling Zhenli spoke in the most indifferent tone, but said the words that hurt Xiao Chongheng the most. He was about to go crazy with anger.

He was clearly the person she loved most before.

That bastard Pei Xuanlin stole what was rightfully his.

Ling Zhenli could see the restraint and hatred in Xiao Chongheng's eyes, but things had come to this point, and they couldn't afford to make any more mistakes; it was time to end it.

She took a deep breath and stood up.

"I have to go now."

But just then, a strong wave of dizziness hit me.

The world before my eyes began to spin; the dishes on the table, Xiao Chongheng's face, and the candlelight in the room all blurred into a blur.

Ling Zhenli staggered, and Xiao Chongheng quickly got up to support her, knowing that the medicine was taking effect.

Seeing that Xiao Chongheng was not flustered at all, as if he had known this all along, Ling Zhenli instantly realized that he had drugged her, but she was too weak to struggle.

"You...why...you're insane..."

Ling Zhenli's consciousness began to fade, and she could no longer see Xiao Chongheng's expression, only vaguely hearing what he said.

Xiao Chongheng held her in his arms, lowered his head and kissed the top of her head, his voice so gentle it was almost cruel.

"Yes, I'm crazy. I'm sorry, Ahri, but I will never let you go again."

Ling Zhenli only heard about 70-80% of these words before she fainted and collapsed completely into Xiao Chongheng's arms.

Seeing that she was unconscious, Xiao Chongheng gently picked her up and took her away.