19 A rain that won’t stop fell in my heart (3)

The moment he saw his mother, Li Jianren's forced emotions collapsed again.

As long as the mother is there, the person will always be a child.

Auntie quietly pulled Li Yaya to the corridor outside the ward and said, "Yaya, your dad hasn't been to your grandma's place for over a month. This has never happened before. Your grandma has been suspicious for a long time. I thought it would take a long time to cure the disease, and I couldn't hide it anymore, so I just told her straight out. However, I only said that your dad was sick, and didn't tell her the specifics. Don't let anything slip."

"good."

Turning the corner into the ward, Li Jianren's emotions had calmed down under his mother's comfort, and he just held her hand.

The ward was quiet, they just looked at each other and kept each other company.

Not long after, the nurse came in and called for help.

Li Jianren was lying on the hospital bed, holding Li Yaya and his mother's hands on his left and right, with his aunt following closely beside him. With all the important people in his life present, he was not nervous before the operation.

The doctor comforted me, saying that it was just a very small operation and I would be fine soon, so I shouldn't worry.

Despite this, the three of them were still very nervous after Li Jianren went in.

The family couldn't wait outside the operating room, so the three of them had to return to the ward. Auntie sat beside Grandma's bed, while Li Yaya stared out the window in a daze.

In autumn, the sky looks like a blue that has been crushed by gods.

Li Yaya looked around and saw that the entire sky was empty. It was so empty that it made people feel uneasy. It was so empty that they could hear the sound of the wings of the geese flying south cutting through the air.

I had the illusion that I was in the pupil of a giant, being watched, looked at, and speculated about.

Suddenly, a nurse's voice came from the door, "Li Jianren's family, is Li Jianren's family here?"

"Yes, yes." Li Yaya hurried forward.

"The patient is still under anesthesia and will be coming down soon. When he comes down, he needs a family member to watch him. If there are any questions, call us immediately. Then we will ask another family member to go to the doctor's office and talk to the doctor."

"Okay, thank you, nurse."

Although the doctor said the result would be soon, Li Yaya was still confused. It was too soon. Without saying anything, she simply asked her grandmother and aunt to look after Li Jianren for a while, and then she went to the doctor's office.

Li Yaya waited at the door for a while before the doctor came back.

"We tried several times, different angles and positions, but the bracket just wouldn't go in."

The doctor spoke in a very soft voice with a slightly apologetic tone. The five big words "it wasn't put in" poured into Li Yaya's ears like a bolt of thunder.

Hadn't she said that once a stent was placed, Li Jianren could eat again? Hadn't she said that once a stent was placed, he could proceed to the next stage of treatment? No, no—was it her hesitation that delayed Li Jianren's treatment?

"The patient's condition is progressing very rapidly. I'll give you a prescription. You can go get a CT scan to see what the condition is like."

"Then doctor, the stent cannot be put in. Is my dad just going to sit there and wait?" Even if he is receiving glucose nutrient solution every day, his condition will only get worse if he doesn't eat every day.

"This is what I need to communicate with you next. There is another option - gastrostomy or nasogastric feeding. However, considering the later radiotherapy, the nasogastric feeding position is not suitable. Gastrostomy is recommended."

“What is a gastrostomy?”

"It's easier to understand it like this: a tube is inserted into the patient's stomach, with one end inside and the other outside, and the food is pumped directly into the stomach."

Through the doctor's description, Li Yaya imagined a picture in her mind, which was difficult for her to accept, and Li Jianren would also find it difficult to accept.

"Is there no other way?"

"there is none left."

No more - these three words seemed to have sentenced Li Jianren to death.

In the ward, Li Jianren has not woken up yet.

Li Yaya was struggling with how to talk to Li Jianren, and how to talk to her aunt and grandmother.

Li Jianren slowly woke up, with no other problems. Perhaps the anesthetic hadn't worn off yet, or for some other reason, Li Jianren stared blankly at the ceiling.

I don’t know how long it took, “Ya Ya~” Li Jianren’s voice became even hoarse.

"Hey, Dad, I'm here." Li Yaya stepped forward and held Li Jianren's hand, waiting for him to continue speaking.

Li Jianren's hands were cold, and his eyes were still fixed on the ceiling. "Ya Ya, that bracket you mentioned, you haven't put it in yet, right?"

"Ah?" How did Li Jianren know.

"I felt it myself, it went in and out, it didn't go in."

Aunt sent grandma back to rest first, leaving only Li Yaya and Li Jianren in the ward.

"Yaya, tell Dad the truth, what is wrong with me?"

Li Yaya bit her lips hard and shook her head, wondering how she should bring it up.

"Ya Ya, Daddy is not the kind of person who knows nothing. I have the basic right to know how my health is." Li Jianren's tone was filled with emotion, dissatisfaction, resentment, and anger.

"At least, no matter what happens, we should face it together. Yaya, Dad is a strong man, you have to believe in him."

Yes, how could Lee Kin-yan be a weak person?

Having lost his father at a young age, he quickly assumed the family responsibilities of an older brother and a father. After starting a family and establishing his own career, he was able to raise Li Yaya alone. He never abandoned her when Yaya's mother was ill, borrowing money for her medical treatment and working diligently to repay the debt she owed him.

How could he not be strong!

Life has given him too much unnecessary suffering, but he remains unyielding and silently faces the challenges head-on.

He is just an ordinary person, an ordinary person who has worked hard all his life.

For the first time, Li Yaya faced this problem in her heart. Yes, the body belongs to Li Jianren. He is an adult with independent thinking ability and he has the right to know.

It is useless to avoid this matter. I need to have a gastrostomy and be transferred to another ward.

Li Yaya sat on a small stool beside the hospital bed, holding Li Jianren's hand, which was intubated. "Dad, I'm sorry. I just thought that if I kept it a secret for a day, you'd feel better. I was wrong. You were actually suffering more without knowing."

Li Yaya eventually told Li Jianren about her condition. He only said it was half esophageal cancer, but he didn't say it was in the late stage, had spread, or that surgery was not possible.

After listening to this, Li Jianren fell into a long silence, thinking about something. Li Yaya just looked at Li Jianren quietly. She was not good at saying comforting words. No matter how close the relationship was, she could never empathize with others.

Li Jianren remained silent, his face calm, and it was impossible to tell what emotion he was feeling.

Just when Li Yaya was struggling over whether to say something, Li Jianren finally spoke. Unlike his previous depressed and dissatisfied tone, he seemed relieved instead. "Yaya, what did the doctor say? The stent was not put in. What should be the next treatment?"

Li Jianren's thoughts were simple. He just wanted to know what was wrong with him. If the doctor said he could treat the disease, he would treat it. If he couldn't, he would deal with it later. He hadn't seen Li Yaya grow up yet, so how could he be so discouraged?

Li Jianren just asked Li Yaya not to tell her grandmother about this matter. The old lady is old, so it is better not to be stimulated by this.

Li Jianren still had a gastrostomy. There was no other way.

After the gastrostomy surgery, it was time for Li Yaya to return to school. Li Jianren told her to go to school without worry, saying he could take care of himself. He had already learned how to use the gastrostomy tube and how to make liquid food for himself. He would also go to the hospital on time.

Li Yaya agreed verbally, but she had already made plans to drop out of school in her heart.

Before returning to school, Li Yaya talked with her aunt for a long time. The school required parents to take a leave of absence. She knew that if she went to tell Li Jianren now, he would definitely not agree. Instead, he would be angry and it would affect his health, so she could only go to her aunt.

At first, my aunt didn't agree.

But who would take care of Li Jianren? His aunt said she could, but she had a family to look after, including her mother-in-law, who was in poor health and constantly needed help. There was also his cousin who was in school, and his grandmother. Li Yaya had no choice. She was so selfish, putting all the responsibility on her aunt alone.

Everyone has his or her own responsibilities. Li Yaya’s responsibility is Lee Kin Yan.

After the gastrostomy was completed, Li Jianren stayed in the hospital for two more days before being discharged home to recuperate. The doctor said that if there were no further problems after about two weeks, radiotherapy would be the next step.

Li Yaya also happened to be back at school, so Auntie took care of Li Jianren for the past two days. Grandma, though old, was still quite strong and could easily cook. While Auntie was busy, Grandma volunteered to take on the responsibility of caring for Li Jianren.

As long as a mother is alive, she will always miss her children.

On the way back to school, Li Yaya's heart had calmed down. Since her illness was an undeniable fact, she just had to accept it calmly and face it positively. Simply crying and self-pity wouldn't solve anything.

The train was running fast, and Li Yaya returned to school in the evening.

Li Yaya didn't like separation, nor did she like sadness. She pretended to be normal and greeted her roommates. They also tacitly didn't mention what happened before she left, thinking it was all in the past.

The next day, Li Yaya went to her counselor to apply for leave of absence. The counselor didn't say anything, but just helped Li Yaya go through the process as quickly as possible.

On the day when the formalities were completed, Li Yaya made an appointment with her roommates to have dinner at a small restaurant outside the school gate.

At the dinner table, everyone was chatting and laughing, and Li Yaya didn't mention the matter of taking a leave of absence. Such a good atmosphere should not be affected.

The next day, everyone went to class. Li Yaya used the excuse that her instructor wanted to talk to her about something and did not go to class. She packed her things in the dormitory silently.

Li Yaya didn't expect that in just one month, she would have so many more things.

He took one last look and left quietly.