Chapter 33 Unwilling to acknowledge that expired悸动 (ji dong, a feeling of excitement or thrill)...

When Jiang Meng sat there, Chen Jizhou was a little distance away from her.

Even with the "gift" in hand, she still felt unapproachable.

Intuition is strong, and soon her premonition of alienation was confirmed in the awkward dialogue.

Chen Jizhou didn't seem to have any intention of building a relationship with her, and it wouldn't be good for the two of them to just sit there awkwardly, so Jiang Meng started a conversation by asking him, "When did you come to Yunzhou?"

Chen Jizhou said, "I just arrived recently."

Are you here to work?

"Um."

He responded with a soft sound.

She held the card, which was slightly warm from his body, and rubbed it against her hand. Jiang Meng also lowered her head and stopped staring at him. After a while, she said again, "I'm also developing my career here."

Chen Jizhou: "I've heard about it."

He had no intention of asking her how she was doing.

He didn't discuss his own plans either.

Perhaps the indoor temperature was too low; despite the warmth of the hand it had touched, the card slowly cooled down.

She gently covered the heart shape with her fingerprints, slowly rubbing it back and forth, warming the heart again.

He probably still had some gentlemanly manners left towards her. The only thing he did that could be considered proactive was asking her if she was cold sitting there. Jiang Meng shook her head and stopped looking at him.

He is courteous to everyone.

This is because he is a good person.

The cracks of time lie between people.

I'm still out of practice.

However, Jiang Meng is optimistic by nature and believes that getting along takes time, and rebuilding feelings naturally takes time as well.

As the party ended, Jiang Meng stood at the bar entrance, wondering how to get home, when she overheard Chen Jizhou exchanging a few words with Qi Yunqing.

Qi Yunqing asked him if he knew him, but Chen Jizhou didn't answer directly. Qi Yunqing then asked him, "Why don't you go and deliver it?"

Chen Jizhou didn't argue with him about the opportunity: "You invited them, so you should bring them."

He turned and glanced at Jiang Meng.

She was staring blankly at the billowing fabric of his shirt on his back when their eyes met. She was slightly distracted, and Chen Jizhou slowly looked away. He then whispered to Qi Yunqing, "I've remembered what I told you."

Qi Yunqing looked quite puzzled.

She wouldn't let him chase her, nor would she pursue him herself. Was she waiting for an opportunity, or was she simply going against him?

Qi Yunqing sometimes couldn't understand Chen Jizhou either. Despite his leisurely and friendly demeanor, he was actually a deep and unfathomable person.

"Are you serious?"

Chen Jizhou chuckled and patted him on the shoulder: "Drive slowly."

Chen Jizhou's car was a sedan, not particularly flashy. Liang Shanshan, who only knew Porsche, couldn't recognize the brand. With her chin resting on Jiang Meng's shoulder, she watched the arrogant exhaust fumes dissipate in the wind and admired how cool he was as he drove away.

Of course he looked handsome; he didn't even turn his head and quickly disappeared at the intersection.

Just like his personality, his actions and style show that he can give up everything at any time without any ties.

Jiang Meng looked at Qi Yunqing, who had opened the car door for her.

In the car, Liang Shanshan was still praising Chen Jizhou's looks: "He's really handsome. I haven't seen such a refreshing and handsome guy since I graduated from high school. It seems that Yunzhou is full of hidden talents."

After she finished speaking, she changed the subject and poked at the cards in Jiang Meng's hand: "Does he have feelings for you?"

“No,” Jiang Meng was still in a daze when she heard her, and she turned around and gave a dry laugh, “It was just a magic trick demonstration.”

Qi Yunqing, who was driving, defused the awkward situation by saying, "I told him I don't know how to flirt and asked him to teach me a few tricks."

Jiang Meng glanced at Liang Shanshan with a helpless look, as if to say: See?

"I like you."

“No, I like older women,” Liang Shanshan chuckled. “If you like them, you should go after them.”

Jiang Meng, unable to bear it any longer, adopted a righteous and stern stance to clarify: "I have never liked this type, so stop talking nonsense."

Liang Shanshan blinked: "Isn't he your ex-boyfriend?"

She said, "They're completely different, aren't they?"

“Oh, I misremembered,” Liang Shanshan tapped her head. “I meant that the guy your family introduced you to last time wasn’t your ex-boyfriend.”

Jiang Meng replied lazily, "Yeah, I really hate it, so we broke up."

She held her face and looked out the window.

I've never liked it.

I really hate it.

Vastly different.

Of course that's true.

Jiang Meng curled her lips slightly. Can people really feel annoyed with themselves?

For example, occasionally, one might eloquently utter untenable statements that are far from genuine.

I don't want to acknowledge that outdated feeling of excitement.

Jiang Meng had never thought about love, nor had she ever pursued it. Her preferences for certain types of people varied depending on her circumstances; she always went with the flow.

Her ex-boyfriend and Chen Jizhou were completely different kinds of people.

When she first met Fang Yuze in her freshman year, the first thing that came to mind when she saw his photo was the word "imposing and dignified".

He was a bit thin, not particularly athletic, 182 cm tall, and came from a well-off family.

She met this guy in a group chat through an exchange program to Japan. He was in Tokyo and knew a lot about the program, so Jiang Meng asked him many questions related to her studies. Although Jiang Meng later gave up the exchange program in Tokyo, her conversations with Fang Yuze went beyond that.

When she sent the photos Fang Yuze posted on his WeChat Moments to Zhao Yuanting, she received a predictable response: "Why do you like this kind of thing?"

Jiang Meng asked her what she meant by that.

"That's what Li from high school looks like."

Jiang Meng retorted loudly, "I don't like Li!"

To be honest, she does tend to have a gentler appearance, with a scholarly air, and looks like a genius.

In the fall of her sophomore year, two months after they officially became a couple, Fang Yuze came to see her.

Li Shuheng and Fang Yuze might indeed look somewhat alike. But upon meeting them in person, one can see that they are also different.

Li Shuheng is very quiet, and her personality is somewhat conflicted.

Fang Yuze is not stubborn; he is a Leo with a competitive spirit and a kingly demeanor.

Strong-willed, opinionated, and talented—these are his defining characteristics.

They ate together. Fang Yuze didn't talk much, so Jiang Meng did most of the talking.

She mentioned that not long ago, Chen Jizhou came to the provincial capital to visit her, and they also ate together at this restaurant.

He parted his lips slightly and said, "It's Chen Jizhou again."

Jiang Meng wasn't particularly perceptive when it came to interpersonal relationships, so she didn't notice the displeasure in his eyes at all. The boy's expression seemed to say, "Can you please stop mentioning this person?"

Of course, Fang Yuze was a man who valued appearances, so he couldn't just flip the table on the spot. He smoothed out his unpleasant expression and continued the conversation by asking her, "What kind of person is he?"

Jiang Meng rested her chin on her hands, tapped her cheeks with her fingers, and smiled slightly. When she mentioned topics that interested her, her smile was filled with an endless desire to express herself. When she looked at him, her thoughts were clearly not on him.

She thought of places far away, and people far away.

"He's narcissistic, but in a way that's not annoying. He's also quite cheeky, sometimes a bit cheeky, but mostly gentle. He's very attentive, but he doesn't get bogged down in his delicate thoughts. It's strange, isn't it? He's very individualistic, doing whatever he wants without fear of failure. He's probably what many people call 'worldly-wise but not cynical,' a concept that's a bit more sophisticated than just being slick."

"Harmony and understanding".

Fang Yuze gave her a sophisticated answer, but his expression was cold and impatient: "Maybe his family is powerful and influential, so no matter what, someone will cover for him."

Jiang Meng was initially quite happy, and she was about to look up the meaning of the word when he said that, but her expression turned cold.

She doesn't like such a simplistic summary.

She felt that Chen Jizhou wasn't like that, but she didn't know whether she should refute him.

Fang Yuze was different from Li Shuheng. He had never met Chen Jizhou, so he couldn't sense the other person's presence from just a few words. He could only make some barely objective guesses based on her words.

So Jiang Meng didn't blame him too much. She then talked about other things: "Xie Zhuo is also very good. He is very steady and considerate. He is the kind of person who is cold on the outside but warm on the inside. He doesn't talk much but is very loyal and will help you according to your needs."

When a new name was mentioned, he listened attentively, though his expression was perfunctory.

However, Jiang Meng quickly added, "But Xie Zhuo is too much of a science and engineering guy."

Seeing Fang Yuze serving her food, Jiang Meng casually gave an analogy: "It's like when we're eating together. I say I want to eat this, and he serves me that. But if I don't say it, he won't be able to guess what I want. He's not as shrewd as Chen Jizhou, and he doesn't really understand me."

She said Xie Zhuo didn't understand her.

Does that mean the other one understands perfectly?

Fang Yuze gently reminded him, "Now that you're with me, don't keep reminiscing about the past."

Jiang Meng felt it didn't matter whether she said it or not, but added, "I think exchanging experiences when you first meet is a very romantic thing, don't you think?"

He calmly countered, "If I told you about my ex-girlfriend, would you be happy to listen?"

After thinking about what he said, Jiang Meng realized that he might have gone too far. Although she and her friends weren't exactly ex-boyfriends, she still apologized: "I'm sorry."

But then, with innocent eyes, she added, "If there are any really fun parts, you can tell me about them too."

He put down his chopsticks: "Jiang Meng."

"Eh."

Do you like me or not?

Jiang Meng thought for a moment without speaking, then nodded: "If I didn't like it, why would I have talked to you for so long?"

Fang Yuze felt somewhat reassured, and his expression softened: "Besides male friends, you can talk about other things too."

Jiang Mengzhen said something else.

But she discovered that Fang Yuze wasn't particularly interested in hearing about her other experiences either. When she talked about her female friends, he listened absentmindedly, unable to find a point of empathy, and thus remained detached from her youth.

That cold expression wasn't just a simple display of jealousy. He probably genuinely had no interest in her past.

More than any of that, he was concerned about: "Are you going back to your dorm tonight?"

At that time, they were standing at the restaurant entrance, choosing their way out.

She became more alert: "What's wrong?"

After a moment of silence, Fang Yuze said, "Do you want to stay with me?"

Jiang Meng, being straightforward, skipped the mincing words and asked directly and frankly, "You want to sleep with me?"

Fang Yuze did not respond, perhaps taken aback by her bluntness.

Jiang Meng then said, "Does it have to be so fast? I'm only eighteen years old, and I was taking the college entrance exam last year."

He whispered a reminder: "I'm going back to Tokyo next week."

"What's wrong? Are you never coming back?"

Fang Yuze frowned, repeatedly silenced by her words.

Before she could say anything even harsher: "Or is there something wrong with your hardware? Will it be ED by the next time you come back?"

Fang Yuze softened his tone: "I didn't mean that. I just want to spend more time with you."

Jiang Meng nodded, and softened her tone appropriately: "I'm sorry, maybe I'm overthinking it, but my mother said that I should take good care of myself when I'm out and about, so I won't go with you today."

Fang Yuze escorted her back to her dormitory.

When they parted, Jiang Meng said, "By the way, I'm a bit conservative. I won't have casual sex with guys unless I'm sure it's a relationship that can lead to marriage. So I'm telling you clearly now, stop trying to hide it and being coy."

This is not untrue. She was very young at the time and had just come from a conservative and rule-bound environment. Jiang Meng really thought that way.

Jiang Meng didn't know if her words that day had gone too far, but Fang Yuze was clearly very unhappy when he left.

However, she has her own principles and considerations, and she will not lower herself to please her boyfriend just to satisfy his desires.

They dated online for two months, and after meeting in person for only two days, they wanted to sleep together.

She doesn't know his past yet; he hasn't been a part of her formation.

It's not that she doesn't accept intimacy, but the feeling of being respected is severely lacking in such a rushed relationship.

Watching him walk away, Jiang Meng was disappointed and regretted the conversation she had had at the dinner table. Those were precious memories of her youth, but the response she received was only indifferent boredom.

She shouldn't have forced others to listen and empathize, because he didn't care, he didn't want to listen, he didn't want to know how she became Jiang Meng today, he just wanted to sleep with her.

This is not the kind of love she wants.