Chapter 36 That single tear shed for him…

After Jiang Meng broke up with Fang Yuze, she learned from others that he later had a new girlfriend.

She had only overheard it by chance; the matter itself was of no importance to her. Jiang Meng had no interest in spying on her ex-boyfriend's life, and he had nothing to do with her anymore.

The girl who came to us is named Qiao Yin, and she is Fang Yuze's current girlfriend.

—You could also say she was her ex-girlfriend.

Jiang Meng sat in the milk tea shop, listening to Qiao Yin distance herself from her relationship with Fang Yuze, which had been entangled for several years. She finally understood that she was just an interlude in their on-again, off-again relationship.

"I just want to know, what day did you and him start dating?" The girl's expression wasn't pleasant; it seemed less like she was angry with Jiang Meng and more like she was dissatisfied with her boyfriend.

That's so strange.

He traveled a long way to find her, confront her face-to-face, and even pretended to invite her for milk tea, all to figure out their relationship timeline and make sure that this man hadn't cheated on her.

Or rather, to ensure that Jiang Meng did not interfere in their relationship back then.

After all, in this girl's eyes, the two months that Fang Yuze and Jiang Meng spent together were their period of cold war.

Qiao Yin never expected that there would be an extra person in the middle.

Jiang Meng held her cup, her eyes lowered, revealing a hint of bewilderment and a faint sense of helplessness.

She didn't quite understand why she had to go through all of this.

Jiang Meng lowered her head and asked, "Didn't he tell you?"

He said it was in July.

“It’s July,” she said definitively.

Qiao Yin pouted, "Well, it's still seamless."

Jiang Meng said calmly, "So?"

She looked up at the other person's sharp, angry eyes: "You came to me just to say this?"

Qiao Yin was very assertive. She crossed her arms and said, "We're planning to get married. I saw your chat history on his phone, so I definitely have to come and find out the truth. I can't just marry a scumbag without knowing anything about it."

These words made Jiang Meng suppress her anger, and she did not point out the presumption of her behavior, because from the perspective of a fellow woman, she could understand this anger.

She was caught in the middle, which made her seem somewhat innocent.

Jiang Meng calmly explained the whole story to her: "He never told me about you. I didn't know you existed before, so I can't judge whether it's seamless or not. I only met him once, which was two years ago. Is there anything else you want to ask?"

Qiao Yin's expression turned serious, and she was also a little surprised: "He didn't tell you about me?"

Never.

Qiao Yin remained silent for a long time, gritting her teeth as she chewed on her straw, looking at Jiang Meng and then at her phone: "By the way, are you with Chen Jizhou now?"

It was very strange that the name etched in her heart was spoken by a completely unfamiliar face.

Jiang Meng frowned: "What does this have to do with Chen Jizhou?"

"He said he's annoying you guys because he's standing between you."

She wanted to laugh; Fang Yuze was actually going around complaining about this to everyone: "Does he care that much?"

Qiao Yin: "Yeah, I care so much that I want to assert my ownership over him. But it probably won't have any effect on sowing discord, since you two are said to have an unbreakable bond, and he, as an outsider, certainly can't interfere."

The other person's eyes were sharp and held a hint of urgent need for confirmation, as if they wanted Jiang Meng to confirm with a single sentence that her and Chen Jizhou's love was truly stronger than gold, in order to eliminate the interference and threat that she posed to their engagement.

Jiang Meng was astonished: "What do you mean by 'asserting sovereignty'? Did he go to find Chen Jizhou?"

Qiao Yin said, "I don't know. He didn't tell me much. I was too lazy to listen. I had to press him to find out. But he said that you two had a good relationship, and that his relationship with you was just for fun. He wasn't interested in you, and you only saw him as a chat partner. When you were together, you were always talking about other men."

It turns out that Fang Yuze deliberately exaggerated the depth of Chen Jizhou and Jiang Meng's relationship in order to show how superficial and shallow their online romance was.

She could almost picture his unspoken message: "They're so in love, what am I to them? Of course, you're the only one in my eyes."

Whether it's for entertainment or not, let people think what they want.

Jiang Meng's expression turned serious, and her breathing became more rapid. She asked her, "What did he say to Chen Jizhou?"

Qiao Yin remained nonchalant, still saying, "I don't know, how would I know?"

Jiang Meng's expression shifted from surprise and confusion to utter bewilderment. The most humiliating things she had ever experienced combined couldn't compare to the impact of this incident. She stood up without taking a sip of her milk tea, her heart filled with a mixture of shame and anger. Jiang Meng picked up her umbrella and looked at the torrential autumn rain outside.

Why didn't Chen Jizhou tell her about this?

She felt she should go and say something to him.

But she held her phone, her fingers flying across the screen, unable to scroll to the bottom of the chat list.

Jiang Meng grew increasingly anxious as she flipped through the pages. Where on earth was Chen Jizhou?

He had long since disappeared among her new classmates and friends, and would never appear at the forefront again. In her most mundane and boring days, he would suddenly pop up with some mundane and boring words, which she would glance at and forget to reply to, only to find out the next day.

How long has it been since they last spoke?

Jiang Meng blinked, clearing the tears from her eyes. Just as she was about to leave, she heard the girl say to her, "Hey, aren't you going to drink your milk tea anymore? It's so expensive!"

Jiang Meng turned around, not taking the milk tea she was offering, and said coldly, "Even if you made him delete all the chat history, I would still feel disgusted."

Qiao Yin said from behind, "Don't worry, I deleted them all a long time ago!"

Jiang Meng walked into the rain, and it took her a while to remember to open her umbrella. Her shoulder was wet, and the raindrops were icy cold, as if they were pouring into her heart.

That night, a classmate had a birthday party, and we all went to sing karaoke together. She drank two bottles of strong liquor.

Jiang Meng had heard that the beer wasn't very strong, but she started feeling dizzy after just two sips.

She had a headache when she left the KTV.

Without anyone particularly reliable around, Jiang Meng didn't dare to get drunk. Her alcohol tolerance wasn't very high to begin with. That day, she felt she wasn't drunk and could still see the road clearly, but after taking two steps, she headed towards the streetlights. Luckily, she didn't bump into one and was caught by her friend behind her.

"It's okay, it's okay, I... I need to make a phone call."

The saying "alcohol emboldens the timid" is absolutely true.

Jiang Meng released some of her pent-up bad mood from the day as her trembling fingertips tapped the screen. After a tense wait, the call was answered, and the blockage in her heart eased. Holding the phone, she called out, "Chen Jizhou?"

A familiar, deep voice came through, its tone indifferent: "It's me."

Jiang Meng held her breath.

After a long silence from when she didn't speak, Chen Jizhou asked, "What's wrong?"

A gust of cold wind hit her face, and Jiang Meng immediately woke up.

He answered the phone.

she……

What was she going to say?

Why did she call him?

Apologize, yes, apologize.

"Chen Jizhou, you..."

"Are you...?"

She suddenly hiccuped, the words she was about to say stopped there, her courage vanished, and she couldn't bring herself to speak. Jiang Meng blurted out nonsensically, "Haven't you paid back the 20 yuan you borrowed from me in sixth grade?"

Before Jiang Meng could finish speaking, her classmates, who were walking with her, noticed that after nearly hitting a lamppost, she had fallen behind again. After a loud car horn blared, they shouted at her in fear, "Jiang Meng, where are you going? Watch out for cars!"

drop--

A long, emotionally charged car horn blast nearly pierced her eardrums.

Jiang Meng hunched her shoulders and looked back at the male driver who had almost hit her. He was terrified, sticking his head out of the window and cursing, "Don't fucking run around when you're drunk, you bastard!"

Clutching her phone, she awkwardly apologized to the departing car, saying, "I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry."

Wang Yimeng came over and grabbed Jiang Meng: "Hey, come with me, don't bump into anyone."

Overlapping with her voice was a concerned voice from afar, calm yet solemn: "Have you been drinking?"

Before she could respond, Chen Jizhou asked again, "What happened?"

Jiang Meng said to him, "Yes, I'll go... I just went to a classmate's birthday party for a while, nothing much happened."

She realized she had a slight lisp.

Then she repeated, "I'm fine, don't worry about me, I'm with my roommate."

Wang Yimeng snatched the phone from her and reassured the person on the other end: "Yes, I'm her roommate. She's with me and will be in the dorm soon."

Jiang Meng majored in Engineering Management in college and was assigned to the School of Civil Engineering. That year, she was preparing for the entrance exam for graduate school at her university. The next evening, she looked at some exam materials and left the library relatively early. Because she heard that it was going to rain heavily that night, Jiang Meng chose to leave early.

She glanced at the scattered umbrellas below through the library's window and received a message from Chen Jizhou while waiting in line at the narrow side exit.

He asked, "Are you at school?"

Jiang Meng: "I'm studying in the library, what's wrong?"

Chen Jizhou: "I'm here too, come down."

Five minutes later, Jiang Meng was surprised to see him standing under the tree.

The night rain was cool, with light drizzle falling from the sky. In the not-too-heavy rain, Chen Jizhou wore a black coat. His handsome face was fair and clear. The dark colors of his clothes and the night made his face appear even paler. There was a hint of fatigue from his long journey in his expression, but he still looked healthy, energetic, bright, and gentle.

Jiang Meng's heart was pounding as she walked over. She pursed her lips, smoothed her messy hair, and tried to look neat and pretty: "Why did you suddenly come over?"

"Didn't you want money?"

Chen Jizhou tilted his head and looked at her for a while, then curled his lips into a very faint and insincere smile. "I'm here to see what money I owe you."

His expression seemed to say: "I've never had a debt I couldn't settle in my life, so don't try to extort me."

Jiang Meng noticed that he wasn't using an umbrella, and as the rain intensified, she asked curiously, "Are you going to stand here in the rain the whole time?"

She then belatedly realized why Chen Jizhou was here.

It's because she drank too much yesterday and talked nonsense to him.

Jiang Meng wasn't very drunk; she still remembered what she had said.

He will definitely ask her why, and if she has to apologize, she will inevitably have to go through Fang Yuze. She doesn't even know how to bring up that name.

How embarrassing.

I still feel so embarrassed.

Chen Jizhou will definitely laugh at her—

He would say: "It makes me so angry just thinking about it. What kind of lousy boyfriend did you have? He even came to harass me. Jiang Meng, your taste in men is terrible. I'm going to look down on you."

Jiang Meng blinked dejectedly: "If you want to repay the money, you can transfer it. There's no need to come all this way."

As for Chen Jizhou, he didn't seem to realize that he had been standing in the rain the whole time.

He looked down, preparing to take the umbrella out of his bag, when Jiang Meng quickly handed him hers: "Let's share it."

Chen Jizhou took it and gave her half of the umbrella.

"Since you're already here," he glanced at her sideways. "Tell me, why are you sad?"

Jiang Meng lowered her head and whispered, "It's just... I found out about something a few days ago."

He stared at her intently, waiting for her to speak.

Jiang Meng's voice became even weaker: "Did my ex-boyfriend cause you trouble?"

Chen Jizhou's gaze lingered on her face for the last three seconds before shifting to the wet puddle on the ground: "I just made a phone call."

"You didn't see him?"

"without."

He didn't laugh at her.

He used few words to concisely and clearly explain these two sentences, without intending to bring up past grievances with her.

Two years ago, in the mind of someone as carefree as him, it should have been a thing of the past long ago. Even the word "let go" seems too heavy for him. How could he possibly take it to heart? Perhaps Chen Jizhou just felt speechless from beginning to end.

Jiang Meng is innocent, but Chen Jizhou is even more innocent.

Jiang Meng continued speaking quickly: "If he says something mean to you, please don't take his opinion to heart. I apologize on his behalf, and I hope this won't hurt you."

Chen Jizhou remained silent for a long while. He quietly held the umbrella for her, then smiled softly: "What in the world can possibly harm me?"

Jiang Meng was silent for a moment, then smiled with relief, but her brows quickly furrowed again. She felt that she could no longer be satisfied. No matter how hard she tried to smooth out the crumpled paper, it would still leave deep creases.

She said, "Oh, right, let me treat you to dinner."

Jiang Meng was very familiar with Ningcheng and tried to make arrangements as a good host. While looking at her phone, she said, "Do you want some mutton soup? They said we can start preparing for winter. There's a place near the entrance. By the way, is it cold in Singapore?"

“Yes,” he answered each of her questions. “Singapore doesn’t have winter.”

Aren't you cold at all?

"It's not cold at all."

They sat down in the warm shop.

The dampness wafted over his shoulders. As Jiang Meng dipped the meat slices in the sauce, she saw Chen Jizhou gently wiping the water stains off his clothes. He didn't seem to have much interest in the food on the table.

Jiang Meng suddenly remembered an old story. She had asked him a question she had been curious about for a long time: "I've noticed that boys really like to eat mutton. What's the reason behind that?"

Chen Jizhou replied: Who said that? I just don't like it, it smells fishy.

Overwhelmed with guilt, Jiang Meng buried her face, too embarrassed to look at him again.

I should have asked for his opinion earlier.

But Chen Jizhou didn't say anything; he just listened to whatever she arranged.

It's always been like this.

Spending time with her was his only duty.

"Can we have a drink today?"

Jiang Meng noticed that the man at the next table had opened a bottle of Jiang Xiaobai liquor and asked for his opinion, "I don't dare to get drunk when I'm with other people."

Chen Jizhou leaned back in his chair, not even touching his chopsticks, his smile languid: "You dare to do that now that you're with me?"

"Yes."

He agreed: "Go ahead and drink, have some beer, but don't get drunk."

"Can't I drink baijiu (Chinese liquor)?"

He adopted his usual nonchalant expression, a hint of his former self appearing in his roguish smile: "Even if you drink baijiu, I can't get you to do anything. Just sleep here tonight."

At that moment, Jiang Meng felt that nothing had changed, and smiled, revealing her beautiful teeth: "Okay, if you're with me, I'll sleep here."

Chen Jizhou lowered his head, touched his brow bone, and laughed.

He laughed for a moment, then said softly, "Fool."

Jiang Meng always felt particularly happy eating with him. With her mouth full of meat and her cheeks bulging, she couldn't wait to say to him, "Tomorrow, you choose where to eat, and I'll keep you company, okay?"

Chen Jizhou told her, "I'm leaving tomorrow; I have classes."

"So rushed?" she asked, a little surprised. "You can skip class, don't you love skipping class?"

He said, "I've already turned over a new leaf and become a good student. Credits are hard to come by, and I want to graduate smoothly. Don't ruin my chances."

She wasn't as happy eating anymore.

The separation came very quickly.

Chen Jizhou escorted her to her dormitory building.

At times like these, saying "bye-bye," "see you tomorrow," or "I'll come visit you next time" is enough to say goodbye.

But Chen Jizhou didn't say goodbye to her in such a lighthearted manner.

He called her name earnestly: "Jiang Meng".

She folded the umbrella, but Jiang Meng was still shaking off the rainwater.

They stood under the eaves at the bottom of the dormitory building, between couples who were embracing and kissing passionately, while she and Chen Jizhou kept a distance. Too far would hurt their feelings, too close would be inappropriate, making their relationship seem strange and awkward.

He seemed to hesitate for a long time about whether to continue, and this hesitation made his expression heavy. Chen Jizhou finally chose to speak, saying, "You have your own life."

With a click, the umbrella was closed. Jiang Meng's heart felt like that sound, but instead of closing, it felt like it was cracking.

She immediately looked up at him.

In the darkness, his handsome features, with his brows furrowed and eyes lowered, gave her an unusually strong sense of detachment.

Chen Jizhou said, "You will meet someone you like, you will have a lover, and later you will have a family and children."

"I am not important to you at all."

He said these words very calmly. She had no idea how much mental preparation he had done or how much courage he had mustered to decide to say these words to her face to face. They were casual yet deeply hurtful.

Her eyes reddened.

Amidst the steamy air inside and out, she listened as he repeated, "Jiang Meng, I am not important at all."

Jiang Meng could tell that Chen Jizhou didn't seem to want to be friends with her anymore.

She was even afraid that he would say, "Stop bothering me!" at any moment.

Or to put it more tactfully, let's not contact each other so frequently.

But Chen Jizhou couldn't bring himself to say such a thing.

She didn't know if he would still want to talk to her, but he wouldn't have the heart to say anything hurtful to her.

He simply conveyed to her with his expression that there was nothing he could do; he wasn't a girl, and no matter how strong their friendship was, it shouldn't affect a third person.

That person will one day put a wedding dress on you and make you your own crystal shoes. They will be custom-made for you, for your love.

We don't know where he is yet, but there must be someone like him.

He just hasn't found you yet.

You have to get used to it; the barriers between friends of the opposite sex will become increasingly thick.

I'll eventually leave your life.

You have to accept it.

He stood there calmly, his eyes saying: You must accept the coming of this day.

We can't be best friends forever.

He didn't say anything, but she understood everything.

Jiang Meng subconsciously grabbed his coat, as if trying to pull away from the distance, but Chen Jizhou didn't brush her hand away and let her hold on.

Her voice trembled slightly, hoarse, and panic showed in her eyes: "I...I don't want this to happen."

But what could she do if she didn't want things to be this way?

Her ex-boyfriend was such a jerk; what if he runs into someone even more awful next time? He can't keep suffering at her hands.

It turned out that the tree hole couldn't hear her at all.

Apart from Chen Jizhou, no other merciful god helped her fulfill her wish.

The thin ties between them were about to break on this rainy night.

Jiang Meng suddenly realized that he would have a girlfriend in the future.

Her presence can also harm other girls.

In desperation, she even considered saying, "Are you single right now? Why don't we be together? I won't have a boyfriend, and you shouldn't have a girlfriend either. I really don't want to lose you."

Chen Jizhou would definitely reject her.

If a boy and a girl really want to express their feelings to each other, they should choose a clear, sunny day, with pink bubbles floating under the blue sky and white clouds, and express their affection at a sufficiently ambiguous moment, instead of saying careless and impulsive words in an attempt to keep him.

Everyone knows how irresponsible her idea is.

Jiang Meng would naturally not say that.

How insane must she be to think she has the right to tell someone not to have a girlfriend?

She could only look up at him, then quickly lower her head before the tears fell.

Tears fell onto the back of his hand. Although he could immediately judge her sadness upon seeing it, Chen Jizhou's hand was still a beat slow to lift.

My skin was burned by tears.

The tear slowly flowed down his bones and veins to his wrist.

Chen Jizhou watched it flow down, watching it stretch and disperse. He didn't actively wipe it dry; the heat would disappear on its own.

That single tear shed for him spread silently for a long time, becoming a mountain between them, a chasm between them, a sea of ​​bitterness he could not cross, causing him to sink forever in the indelible marks.

Chen Jizhou paused for a moment as he wiped away her tears, then pinched her cheek instead. He frowned and said in a low voice, "All you ever do is torture me."

I wonder if he still remembers that when she was little, her parents kicked her out of the house, and she sat on the seesaw, heartbroken and on the verge of tears. He quietly sat with her for a long time, until they fell asleep together. That day, he shyly pinched her cheek and praised her for being pretty. She's so cute and kind, without any ill intentions. Without a third person present, I could openly and honestly tell her, "Don't be sad, I'll always be with you."

When Chen Jizhou pinched her cheek, Jiang Meng thought of this.

As long as what happened in the last century, their childhoods are closely intertwined.

Jiang Meng has not yet responded.

The dormitory supervisor came out of her office and shouted outside, "Hurry up and go upstairs, it's room check!"

Jiang Meng quickly wiped her eyes and asked him, "By the way, what time are you leaving tomorrow? I'll see you off."

“No need,” Chen Jizhou said slowly, glancing at her one last time. “I have an early flight, you can get some more sleep.”

After he finished speaking, seeing the dormitory manager chasing people away, he opened his umbrella and walked into the rain.

Jiang Meng ran quickly up to the third floor, sprinted along the corridor to the end, and stood for a long time at the place where she could watch him walk the furthest away. She watched him walk on the school's tree-lined path until he walked out of the gate, without ever looking back.