Chapter 42 I want to be close to him

After he apologized, Jiang Meng felt a little embarrassed: "I'm not really blaming you."

Chen Jizhou only helped her untie her shoelaces without touching her feet. He remained in a squatting position. "Let me see your wound."

She complied and did as she was told, rotating her ankle.

Thankfully, there was no broken skin, just a slight redness around the Achilles tendon. It wasn't serious enough to warrant screaming in pain; rubbing in that area is inevitable when wearing unsuitable shoes. However, taking advantage of having someone comforting her, Jiang Meng naturally amplified her actually insignificant grievance.

Chen Jizhou asked her, "Shall I buy you a Band-Aid?"

Jiang Meng: "No, it'll be even more uncomfortable if I cover myself up."

"What's wrong with menstrual cramps?" He looked up at her. "I don't remember this happening before."

She said, "Well, I used to be healthy, but after eating too many cold drinks, I developed a slight condition."

He lowered his eyes, appearing calm as if he were taking time to quell the turbulent emotions surging within him.

When she lowered her eyes, her eyelashes appeared thick and long. Chen Jizhou revealed an unusually depressed expression, as if he was reflecting on how he could have made such a mistake, and questioning himself, how could he not even understand her thoughts?

Actually, it's not that he didn't understand her; he just hadn't thought about it that way.

What does "dating" mean?

Chen Jizhou tried to understand for a while. She seemed to have some misunderstanding about those two words. Isn't this something that couples should do? Can friends use the word "date"? However, he was also understanding. Jiang Meng was often too straightforward and spoke very bluntly without thinking or considering whether there was any ambiguity involved.

But he understood her general meaning: she wanted to be alone with him. Whether it was eating or playing games, she probably didn't click with the men at the table, and there were no other girls around; she must have been very bored.

Chen Jizhou didn't know how to tell her. He had racked his brains for a long time trying to find a reason to ask her out.

He hadn't figured out how to get along with her yet. He was especially afraid of bothering her, afraid of crossing boundaries, and afraid of not being accepted, which would plunge their relationship into another long period of uncertainty.

He just felt that it would be more appropriate to have more people around.

Jiang Meng noticed Chen Jizhou's complex expression as he squatted there, lost in thought. Just moments ago, he had seemed so confident and invincible. She smiled and said, "If I were also part of the game, would you always stumble and fail to conquer me?"

Chen Jizhou finally showed a helpless smile, stood up and said, "Yes, it really does give me a headache."

He tilted his head to look at her, smiled and said, "I was originally planning to have Jiang Jiaming sing two songs for you, but my attempt to flatter him backfired."

Jiang Meng: "Isn't he a bad singer?"

"To be honest, he's alright, but he lacks confidence."

After Chen Jizhou finished speaking, he neatly closed the car door.

She swallowed back what she was about to say, "You should sing it for me instead."

There happened to be a pharmacy nearby, so Chen Jizhou went and bought her some painkillers, in powder form. He diluted them with water and handed them to Jiang Meng, saying, "These sustained-release tablets work a bit slower, the powder might be better. Try it."

Jiang Meng's eyes were smiling, and she didn't look unwell at all: "You know all this?"

“I can search.” Chen Jizhou flashed his phone, indicating that he wasn’t that rigid. He returned to the driver’s seat, closed the door, tossed his phone onto the center console, and said casually, “You’re out having menstrual cramps, and wearing so little.”

Jiang Meng said softly, "I wanted to dress up nicely to see you. You've never seen me look particularly beautiful before."

His gaze paused, and he slowly swept his eyes over her.

She was indeed exceptionally beautiful, with a touch of pitifulness, which was absolutely irresistible to men.

Chen Jizhou moved his Adam's apple, unsure of what to say next.

Jiang Meng took a sip of the strange-tasting powder and then changed her words: "It's more appropriate to say it this way out of social politeness."

Chen Jizhou leaned back, seemingly unable to resist her every word. His well-defined knuckles gripped the steering wheel, the ring on his middle finger gleaming silver. He said softly, "I know, don't do that again."

Chen Jizhou drove off.

Jiang Meng opened her phone and chatted with Chu Xinkai for a while, worriedly, to make sure he was back in his dorm. She felt a little relieved. The police station wasn't far from the school, and it was also close to where she lived. Before long, Jiang Meng arrived downstairs.

Jiang Meng's negative emotions had completely vanished, and she said to him, "I'm also quite disappointed today. This happened, and it's wasting your time."

Chen Jizhou unbuckled his seatbelt and got out of the car: "It's nothing."

He happened to be going over to open the door for her and asked, "Is your foot okay?"

Jiang Meng realized that she hadn't put her shoes on yet. "Excuse me, it's hard for me to bend over. Could you please tie these shoes for me again?"

Chen Jizhou bent down and did as instructed.

He was careful to control the degree of his finger movements and the force he applied, fearing that she might be uncomfortable and flinch, or that her flinching might cause her to throw out a sharp object and hurt herself.

The worst part is that even so, I fear I still won't be able to stop loving her.

"It probably doesn't hurt that much, right?" he guessed.

My feet don't hurt as much, and my stomach doesn't hurt as much either. But I need his care and his protection.

After all, when she's really feeling unwell, she doesn't even want to talk, let alone smile like this.

Do you still want to be friends with him?

Despite the extreme torment, he had no power to refuse.

To be loyal to love means to be weak to oneself.

He examined the strap briefly and deftly helped her put on the high heels.

"Could I trouble you for one more thing?"

Before getting off the bus, Jiang Meng looked at him with soft, gentle eyes.

Chen Jizhou raised his chin, as if to say: What else is there? Hurry up and tell me, Grandma.

Jiang Meng suddenly smiled slyly, with a hint of ingratiation: "Can you carry me up? It's a bit tiring, and I don't want to be barefoot and dirty."

He gave her a look of amusement and exasperation, loosely crossed his arms and leaned back, scrutinizing her up and down with a suspicious gaze. Finally, he spoke sarcastically, "When I'm not around, who else can you boss around?"

Jiang Meng said matter-of-factly, "When you're not around, I'm... all alone."

After she said that, he lost all his temper and Chen Jizhou didn't want to make things difficult for her anymore.

He gentlemanly granted her last request of the evening.

Jiang Meng, in a good mood, leaned on his back and put her arm around his shoulder: "Chen Jizhou."

"Um."

"I'm fine, I'm not particularly unhappy. My mom said that I can be a bit short-tempered sometimes, especially in front of people who are tolerant of me, so you shouldn't be unhappy or overthink it."

At this point, she changed the subject: "Oh, of course, if I were fired, I would definitely cry."

As Jiang Meng spoke, she made a fake crying sound to match her tone.

He couldn't help but chuckle, his shoulders trembling slightly, and the muscles under her palm tensed for a moment.

Jiang Meng looked at his eyelashes and the corners of his mouth, and her heart clenched slightly.

Because their bodies were so close, the rise and fall of his muscles and his low laughter were all exceptionally intimate with her.

She remembered one year when, because the train carriage was crowded, he accidentally hugged her. When Jiang Meng looked at him, it felt as if a flower gently bloomed in her heart.

She still remembers that feeling.

It wasn't the collision that created the terrifying and dangerous sparks.

It is romantic, unique, and seems to metaphorically represent a tender little flower blooming with first love.

The little flower, which I haven't seen for so long and which has been buried in my heart for many years, has finally sprouted gently from the soil at this moment.

Now, they are no longer in danger and the suspension bridge effect will not occur, but ripples are spreading in Jiang Meng's heart, and there is no sign of them stopping.

She had a little bit of greed; she wanted him to carry her on his back one more time, and then she would shamelessly bury her face in the crook of his neck, like a weak and limp wounded woman.

Chen Jizhou was still clean, without any unpleasant smells. He didn't smoke and drank very little. She could only smell the faint scent of detergent on his clothes. His body was warm. While waiting for the elevator, Jiang Meng deliberately tightened her grip on his arm.

A heartbeat doesn't necessarily happen in dramatic situations; it's the countless tiny moments that can make her feel a flutter in her heart.

Does she like Chen Jizhou?

Asking herself this question made Jiang Meng even more embarrassed, and her heart started beating faster.

She couldn't answer for a moment.

The most striking idea is that if it's a man who finds even meeting someone troublesome, then Chen Jizhou is a better choice.

Chen Jizhou felt her close to him, her neck burning hot. He thought she could fall asleep in just a few steps. He glanced at her, her breath touching his forehead, and then slowly looked away.

Jiang Meng entered the password and invited him in to sit down, saying with a smile, "Don't find me annoying, asking you to do this and that."

"I simply won't pay attention to people I find annoying."

As Chen Jizhou was speaking, he was about to follow her in when he realized that her room was very small, just a single apartment. The bed was right after the entrance. He quickly withdrew his leg, feeling it was inappropriate, and stood by the door for a while.

Jiang Meng said, "Okay, then you'll get used to it."

Seeing that he was standing still, she said, "My room is a bit messy, why don't you come in and sit down?"

Chen Jizhou said, "I'd better not cause you any trouble."

He observed her expression and asked, as if to confirm, "Are you feeling better now?"

"Okay, I'm recovering very quickly."

He gave a soft "hmm".

"You should get some rest. We can meet up again sometime..." Chen Jizhou said, then paused, finding it difficult to say those two words, and changed his words to, "Let's meet up."

After he left, Jiang Meng sent Su Yu a message: "Chen Jizhou said last time that his family was urging him to get married. Is he going on blind dates?"

Jiang Meng knew she was a bit silly, but she wasn't completely devoid of perception.

Chen Jizhou showed restraint towards her. She could sense it; it was this restraint that created a certain social distance between them.

What was he restraining? She wasn't quite sure, but she could sense that he was still a man of intense passion.

The first word that came to her mind was "intense." If he used to be like sunshine, now he was more like an undercurrent.

In the past, it was passionate, open, and without reservation.

Now there is silence, a silent yet surging undercurrent.

After a while, Jiang Meng came out of the shower, and Su Yu made a long phone call to her.

Su Yu explained to her from the beginning that his family had introduced him to several rich young ladies, but he had never met them privately. Of course, they knew his personality, and his elders would not try to get him to meet them because Chen Jizhou would definitely not go. However, during festival gatherings, they would get together at the same table for a meal, and he was almost tricked into it. That's how they set him up a few times. But later he got smarter and could roughly judge which ones were traps, so this trick no longer fooled him.

Su Yu said, "It's really terrible. All those girls have fallen hopelessly in love with him, and it's giving him a real headache."

Jiang Meng asked, "What's wrong? Having trouble choosing which one to pick?"

"Of course, the headache is figuring out how to disappear from their sight."

Jiang Meng smiled.

It sounds a bit exaggerated, but it's actually quite reasonable.

Well-traveled young ladies won't be hopelessly swayed by a handsome face.

But Chen Jizhou is very good.

He had none of the spoiled habits of a rich kid. He dealt with people with ease, appearing arrogant on the surface but actually quite refined and cultured inside. Even when with people he didn't like, he maintained basic social manners, ensuring no awkward silences, and he even had a touch of humor.

What is the meaning of tempering steel a hundred times, turning it into something as soft as silk wrapped around your finger?

Add that captivating face, and you've got the perfect package.

Su Yu said, "I had dinner with him this year. He bought a new car, which is really cool."

Chen Jizhou bought a sports car in Pingjiang to pick her up for dinner. However, Su Yu wasn't very good at opening his car door. Standing outside, she awkwardly called out "Brother," embarrassedly saying she'd never seen a luxury car before. He got out to help: "It's fine if you can't open it yourself, but what if ten girls come and none of them can? I'll be the one who's embarrassed. If it weren't for the fact that this car is big enough for me to show off, I would have straightened this door sooner or later."

Jiang Meng smiled gently; listening to others' stories made her feel happy.

He is a very good person who gently protects everyone's self-esteem. He always possesses a gentleness that is subtle yet noticeable.

Then, Su Yu asked him: "Do you have other girls?"

Chen Jizhou said: They're in my dreams, lined up in a row.

Su Yu pointed out: I see through you. Actually, you are the most innocent one.

He dismissively said, "What's the point of trying to see through things? I want to fall in love, which is simpler than you opening this car door."

When this reached Jiang Meng, Su Yu sighed, "That's just how he is; it seems he doesn't have anyone he's interested in right now. But his mother is very worried and is especially angry, saying to him: 'Chen Jizhou, you're almost 30 years old, can't you be a little more attentive?'"

“He’s so shameless, and he can still laugh. He said to his mother: ‘Thanks for reminding me, I’m not even 30 yet, I’m in my prime.’”

Jiang Meng chuckled.

Su Yu's imitation was so perfect that she could perfectly imagine his arrogant and unruly tone.

Su Yu was unusually eager to share today, and told her a lot about Chen Jizhou's back-and-forth dealings with his family. Suddenly, she asked out of the blue, "Jiang Meng, do you like him?"

Jiang Meng was stunned for a moment. After a while, she clutched the pattern on the pillow and answered irrelevantly, her tone somewhat discouraged: "He doesn't even like rich young ladies, would he like me?"

“You’re also a rich girl, and he treats you so well.”

Jiang Meng said, "He's very nice to everyone, and he's very nice to you too."

Su Yu thought for a moment, then softly hummed in agreement. After further consideration, she said, "It's still different, isn't it?"

Chen Jizhou is indeed very kind to the people around him, but his kindness is not driven by any ulterior motives, and he doesn't have a strong sense of sacrifice, so it doesn't give people the heavy feeling of "I'm so good to you, you must repay me".

His philosophy has always been: Your happiness is my happiness. I'm a happy person by nature, so I'm sharing a little with you without expecting anything in return.

He won't act bitterly or resentfully, making people feel like they owe him something.

He was good to Su Yu, good to everyone, and naturally good to Jiang Meng as well.

So... would he like her?

Jiang Meng held the puppy Abeibei and thought about Chen Jizhou.

What she remembered was not the man who carried her upstairs today, nor the man who encouraged her to turn things around; more than that, she thought of all the brilliant and grand encounters they had made along their long life journey, and she remembered every single one of them.

She remembers every aspect of his life, from the beginning to the end.

"Actually, after being apart for so long, I've missed him a lot many times."

Jiang Meng spoke softly, telling Su Yu, and also telling herself.

“He was always there for me during difficult times. But as time went on and I got used to it, I didn’t realize that I was being supported until he was no longer there. Then I slowly felt myself floating, losing weight, and sinking.”

"I've discovered that there are so many rainy days throughout the year. But I never thought that I could see the sun every day."

Jiang Meng paused, wiped her hot eyes, and continued in a low voice, as if she had finally mustered the courage to admit the importance of a relationship: "For a long time, he was my pillar of support."

When she was lonely and had no one to play with, she would go to Chen Jizhou. He could always magically give her wonderful feelings.

But he never made her feel indebted.

He didn't even use the word "willing," because the word "willing" carries a bitter connotation of bearing humiliation and feigning nonchalance.

He wouldn't say these things; he was just playing along with her.

She felt no remorse whatsoever, so of course she could bask in the sun as if nothing had happened.

Until we parted.

If you look at a word for too long, you'll start to not recognize it anymore.

The same principle applies when you observe someone for a long time.

Having broken free from the state of semantic saturation, she finally realized that she didn't really reject him as a boyfriend; it was just that the young girl was confused and couldn't figure out where the boundary between friendship and love lay.

She felt awkward about it.

Some people have asked Jiang Meng, "Do you like him?"

At that time, she couldn't answer it because it was a strange question.

To her, he was like blood flowing through her body and her heart beating in her chest.

No one would use the following sentence structure: I love my blood, I love my heart.

Few people would say: Fish love water, birds love the sky.

He is blood, heart, water, and sky.

It was an inseparable part of everything she belatedly realized.

Jiang Meng hung up the phone with Su Yu, rested her cheek on the soft fur of the doll, and silently closed her eyes for a while.

The dog is very big, and it's so comfortable to hold it, almost like holding a person.

Jiang Meng hugged it and talked to herself for a while: "Chen Jizhou, I think we need to ease the tension between us. I don't want to be on equal footing with the friends you met here. I don't want to chat with them, I don't want to listen to them sing, I just want to have a candlelight dinner with you, you know?"

She said, "I really don't want you to be indifferent to me."

I'm greedy; I also want to be very, very good friends with you.

I don't know why we've become like this.

But I don't want to lose you.

I'm incredibly greedy; I want to keep you here.

I still want to play with you like I did when we were little.

In the darkness, Jiang Meng mumbled a long string of words, then quieted down and blinked.

Actually, her stomach pain wasn't too bad today; it was mostly acting. Her feet didn't hurt that much either, but... because she wanted to be close to him, for no particular reason, she just wanted to lean on him, which led to her impolite request tonight.

If we can't be close friends again, other kinds of relationships are fine too.

She poked the puppy's nose and asked, "And you, would you like me?"