Baileys (Part 3)

Zhou Zeyu walks very slowly, so slowly that even when Sorkov hurriedly jogs out of the swimming pool twenty minutes later, he can still easily catch up with her.

She didn't seem angry, because based on his understanding of her, if Zhou Zeyi were truly furious, she would have already stormed off four or five kilometers away, instead of slowly standing by the roadside enjoying the breeze.

But when he jogged over to her side and subconsciously looked at her expression, he still saw a face that was trying its best to remain calm, but whose eyes were clearly flashing with anger.

"Aren't you stupid?" She suddenly stopped, finally letting it all out, and shoved his shoulder hard. "You just let them talk about you like that, bully you, and you don't care? Andrei Sorkov, aren't you an atheist? When did you become the Virgin Mary?!"

Her sudden outburst startled Sorkov, who raised his eyebrows somewhat bewildered, unsure how to respond to her anger.

He didn't finish his sentence, of course, because Zhou Zeyu didn't give him the chance.

After a brief kiss, Zhou Zeyu decisively released his grip on his collar, sullenly shifting his gaze, his voice tinged with dissatisfaction.

"You're good at tolerating things, but I can't tolerate that much."

After she finished speaking, she seemed to recall something, and suddenly became somewhat resentful: "Now I completely understand, what you said is all true, they are all a bunch of stubborn and stupid trash, how can we achieve good results with such people on the same team!"

Sorkov was still in a daze and remained silent for a moment until Zhou Zeyu started glaring at him, at which point he suddenly realized, "Huh? What did you just say?"

"What are you staring at? Did you get stunned by the kiss?"

He chuckled briefly, put his arm around her shoulder, and gently pulled her closer to him. "Yeah."

Now Zhou Zeyu was speechless. The feigned anger on her face quickly crumbled. She carefully covered the smile on her lips with her hand, cleared her throat, and tried her best to suppress the smile.

"Okay, I understand you now. If I were you, I probably wouldn't be able to resist kicking your stupid coach into the pool too."

"Hmm, you were really good just now."

Zhou Zeyi revealed a smug chuckle, crossed his arms, and raised his head slightly. "Of course, my strength has increased a lot, hasn't it?"

“Hmm…” Sorkov began hesitantly.

"Hmm?" Zhou Zeyu gave him a suspicious look.

“What I mean is,” he lowered his head slightly and whispered in her ear, “just don’t use your enormous strength on me.”

"Bargaining won't work, and neither will using my feminine wiles." Zhou Zeyu snorted coldly, shoving his head away decisively without showing any emotion.

Sorkov was certain he had laughed.

They walked aimlessly down the street, but it couldn't really be called "walking" because Solkov had to accommodate Zhou Zeyu's pace. So the two of them seemed to be just moving around aimlessly. Ten minutes passed, and the scenery along the street hadn't changed at all. He even began to doubt whether they could get out of the street before dark.

Judging from Zhou Zeyu's expression, she didn't seem to think there was anything wrong with the speed. She crossed her arms, lowered her head, and seemed to be thinking about something. As usual, she had a blank expression, with a faint gloom between her brows and eyes.

In fact, Sorkov had always felt that Zhou Zeyu's current expression was frightening. Unlike his previous self-destructive and dejected state, Zhou Zeyu now seemed much more open-minded. However, along with this open-mindedness came not only his unpredictable temper but also this unsettling expressionless face.

He had thought that Zhou Zeyi would be more cheerful after letting go of those things, just like she used to be, but the current situation was completely different from what he had imagined.

She no longer dwells on the past, just like the blessing Sorkov once gave her, letting go of the bad and moving forward. But why is it that, even though it's a good thing and Zhou Zeyu seems to have become more detached, she has become even more gloomy?

Gloomy. In the past, Sorkov probably would never have associated this word with Zhou Zeyu.

During her most difficult days, there was sadness, and even more serious despair, but it was never like this... It felt like she was shrouded in a gloomy atmosphere, with the surface calm but the sunlight never shining through.

How could this be...?

In just six months, nothing earth-shattering could seem to happen. At least, that's how it was for Sorkov himself. In those extremely dull and tedious six or seven months, the only change he seemed to have was his tanned skin.

But Zhou Zeyu was different. Her appearance remained unchanged, but the changes in her were even more unfathomable. When dealing with her, Solkov even began to be habitually cautious, afraid of breaking the surface calm.

He also wanted to know what had caused all of this.

But Zhou Zeyu was unwilling to speak.

The four days they spent together were like a microcosm of the present. Sorkov could put his arm around her shoulder intimately and even kiss her, but he could never get any more information from her. He didn't understand what she was thinking. So many doubts troubled him, such as Zhou Zeyu's abnormal personality, unpredictable temper, and strange walking speed.

"You must have a lot of questions for me."

Solkov snapped out of his reverie, concealing the probing look in his eyes, and did not directly answer the question.

Without waiting for his reply, Zhou Zeyu remained silent, suddenly broke free from his arm, and sat down silently on a bench by the roadside.

He sighed and sat down next to her.

The weather at noon was not as sunny as it had been the previous days. It was a rare overcast day, and the whole world seemed to have turned gray. The air was filled with the dry smell unique to summer. A gentle breeze lifted the stray hairs on Zhou Zeyu's forehead and tucked them behind her ears.

She remained expressionless.

Sorkov looked away, raised his head slightly, and gazed at the sky, which was covered in a hazy gray like a canvas, and remained silent for a moment.

Suddenly, he heard a rustling sound beside him, accompanied by the rustling of fabric. He turned his head and was somewhat surprised to find that Zhou Zeyu was slowly rolling up his trouser legs, and then pulling hard to reveal his knees.

Sorkov's eyes widened, his gaze lingering on it in surprise, before he looked up at her incredulously.

She remained expressionless, her gaze calmly fixed on his eyes. With a slight release, her trouser leg returned to its original shape without any external force, concealing the horrific post-operative scar.

"you……"

Zhou Zeyu turned her head in the opposite direction from him, clearly indicating that she did not want to continue the conversation. Sorkov could only stop talking and silently stare at her resistant profile.

That's why; she still didn't say a word, but Solkov understood.

Does it hurt?

"Always."

A sudden, inexplicable pain welled up in his heart, and Solkov finally realized where it came from. The person who caused the pain slowly turned his head and stared straight at him with those eyes, as if torturing him, revealing a fragile smile.

"I'm actually starting to envy you, Sorkov. How could this be? I don't think I've ever envied you before."

Her slightly upturned lips trembled, seemingly smiling, but more like she was trying her best to hide the reality that she was about to cry, struggling to make herself look less pathetic, so she could only desperately hold back her tears, even though Sorkov could see his own reflection in her tears.

But Zhou Zeyu has always been this kind of person. If she doesn't want others to know something, then unless she says it herself, no one else will ever know. Similarly, if she doesn't want others to know that she is crying, then she will do everything she can to obscure this reality. No one can force her to admit it.

So Solkov gave up on taking out a tissue, but he himself didn't know why a pack of tissues had inexplicably appeared in his pocket. It seemed to be a habit he had maintained for a long time, for Zhou Zeyi.

People can never truly empathize with each other, not even Sorkov. He had been separated from her for so long that he didn't know why she was crying or what emotions were hidden in her eyes. With such a lack of understanding, all his comfort was just empty talk. He didn't want Zhou Zeyi to think that he was pitying her.

She's such a proud person, she wouldn't want anyone to do that.

So he always seemed afraid that she would cry, and afraid that he would be at a loss in the face of her tears. But Sorkov himself knew that in the face of Zhou Zeyu’s tears, the only thing he could do was to hand her a tissue at the right time.

But now, he doesn't even have the right to do that.

Because Zhou Zeyi didn't want him to know she was crying, even though her tears were already on the verge of falling.

So Solkov lowered his head and refused to look at her.

Zhou Zeyu seemed to chuckle softly, but it was unclear what she was laughing at. She seemed to turn her head away again, her voice trembling, but both of them knew that this was the best she could do to fake it.

Why aren't you saying anything?

Sorkov looked at the ground beneath his feet and suddenly spoke, "Why don't you say it hurts?"

Zhou Zeyu remained silent and did not speak.

"What good will it do to say it?"

Yes, so what? That scar won't transfer to Sorkov, and he can't share even a fraction of her pain. Saying it out loud only makes Zhou Zeyu feel incredibly vulnerable.

But what does it matter if I admit to being vulnerable in front of him?

"I suddenly regret telling you this."

"Why?"

“Because you would feel sorry for me,” Zhou Zeyu said softly, “and the reason I fled here is precisely because I wanted to escape that heartache.”

Her voice grew softer and softer, "When you feel sorry for me, don't I feel sorry for you too?"

"Is that why you've been unwilling to tell me?"

Sorkov couldn't help but look up, only to immediately meet Zhou Zeyi's gaze. She casually wiped away her tears and calmly looked at him.

"That shouldn't be hard to understand, right, Solkov? If you were me, you would have kept this secret even more carefully than I have."

Yes, he will.

“You always seem to have double standards,” she smiled slightly. “You don’t want to be honest, but you want to hear my truth, and you think I’m hiding something, but you’ll only make the same decisions as me.”

Don't you think we're actually quite similar?

Sorkov was stunned. "Does it look like it?"

He seemed to have never thought about it from this perspective before, because all along, whether now or in the distant past, Sorkov's heart seemed to be subtly resisting this idea; he didn't want to be like Zhou Zeyu.

Because he wasn't good enough, and of course, he wasn't very happy. He had suffered a lot of hardship and pain, and he didn't want Zhou Zeyi to be like him. He always felt that she should be better than him.

Rather than being reduced to being compared to him.

"Don't be like me."

Zhou Zeyu's smile slowly faded, and he looked up slightly, lost in thought, at the lone pigeon circling above their heads.

"Like you?" She let out a very soft sigh, as if reflecting on something. "Why don't you say that you are the one who is like me?"

“Sorkov, I know you want me to be okay, but that’s not true. I’ve never been okay, and only recently did I finally understand who caused my misery and why it happened. Sometimes I really think this world is absurd. How strong does it think I am to be able to accept all of this so calmly?”

"I'm such a fragile person, unable to withstand setbacks or storms, so why is it that I have to endure such severe trials over the years? Does fate know how vulnerable I am, which is why it's so unscrupulous? I truly hate it."

Sorkov was speechless.

He hesitated for a moment, then reached out, bent his index finger, and gently brushed her cheek with the pad of his finger.

"Is there anything else you want to say?" She closed her eyes, her voice filled with an undeniable weariness, a helplessness that followed her finally being honest.

"there is none left."

Sorkov stood up, then squatted down with his back to her, turning his head slightly to gesture for her to come up.

“Of course I know you can,” he said. “You’ve always been good at these things, and I’m not mocking your vulnerability, Zhou Zeyu.”

His voice was faint, yet so clear that she could hear it.

“You’ve already suffered so much, I don’t want you to suffer over these little things.”