Beneath the Ashes (Part 4)

After finally typing the last word, Sorkov struggled to lift his head from the mess of books on the table, and looked dizzily at the clock. It was already 6:30 the next day.

He propped himself up on the table, made himself a cup of black coffee, and took a big gulp while still in a daze. He was then inevitably jolted awake by the bitter taste in his mouth, and frowned as he poured out the remaining half cup.

It's probably the intense bitterness that makes you more alert than caffeine.

He had already decided to skip his morning classes, since after staying up all night and having to attend specialized training in the afternoon, he was completely convinced he would faint in class.

After making the decision, he felt much lighter, and Solkov sat back down at his computer, his fingers rapidly typing on the keyboard.

As he moved, some old web pages popped up, distorted photos flashed by quickly, and familiar or unfamiliar names appeared on the screen. Sorkov's browsing speed slowed down, and then he stopped.

The mouse cursor hovered over the letters "CenZheng," glanced at them briefly, and then clicked to open the app.

In some ways, it seems that Cen Zheng, whom Zhou Zeyu couldn't forget, was very similar to her. They both became famous at a young age, reached their peak, and even gradually faded from the public eye due to injuries.

It's a very typical athletic career, seemingly commonplace, yet somehow different.

For example, compared to Zhou Zeyu, whose life was full of twists and turns, Cen Zheng seemed to be excessively lucky. Her father was an official in the sports bureau, and her mother was a professional physical trainer. Her path was much smoother than that of ordinary people, especially for Zhou Zeyu.

He could understand Zhou Zeyu's complex emotions. In such a desperate and precarious environment, having a revered idol was already a stroke of luck, let alone the fact that the idol had actually come to his side and held his hand.

It seems to be a very heartwarming and touching fairy tale.

But there are no fairy tales in the world, especially in a dog-eat-dog world like competitive sports, where emotions are the least important thing.

A mocking smile slowly crept onto Sorkov's lips, but it quickly vanished with the sound of the mouse wheel scrolling. He skimmed through the text, his brows furrowing.

Cen Zheng and Zhou Zeyu's careers seem to always be at odds. When Cen Zheng was at the height of his career, Zhou Zeyu was constantly suppressed and unable to make a name for himself. But just as Zhou Zeyu was slowly gaining momentum, Cen Zheng was gradually declining.

Is this just a simple coincidence?

He doesn't believe in coincidences or fate. The reason why people feel familiar with him is simply because there is some kind of relationship between the two.

Zhou Zeyu's story is touching, that's for sure, and Sorkov didn't doubt that she was lying. But it has to be said that in that kind of environment, she was indeed easily misled, which led to a completely different perspective.

For an athlete, it's certainly fortunate to have a gentle, mentor-like person guiding them forward in their career. But the question is, why is that? Is there really anyone who would treat their potential competitors so selflessly?

He didn't believe that someone who had been able to hold the top position for so many years, remaining unshaken and even thriving amidst various forces, was an overly kind and naive person.

But it is indeed true. Among the few fragments discovered after so many difficult searches, everything seems to corroborate Zhou Zeyu's memories.

For example, Cen Zheng did allocate many valuable resources to her, and was almost inseparable from her. He made many efforts to increase her popularity and exposure, even to the point that he would include her in his solo interviews.

But why?

Sorkov didn't know Cen Zheng, so he certainly wouldn't dare say that he understood her better than Zhou Zeyu. But sometimes, those involved are blinded by their own perspective. Zhou Zeyu might not be unaware of things, but she had been tormented by years of pain to the point that she dared not think about them. In other words, she was probably deceiving herself.

Since the facts are called facts, then of course evidence can be found through clues. Zhou Zeyu didn't want to understand, but if she wanted to truly let go of all this instead of idealistically hypnotizing herself, then she would have to face the truth sooner or later.

For example, Zhou Zeyu should have realized long ago that she had too high hopes for human nature. But human nature is always cruel, especially in competitive sports. So many people are fighting tooth and nail for that position, how could anyone just smile and hand it over to someone else?

Sorkov himself was not that kind of person. He always took his fate into his own hands. Of course, he was not so lucky as to meet someone who was wholeheartedly good to him. Most of the people who appeared in his life were different forms of radets, only differing in degree of malice.

A bunch of useless idiots.

He was feeling irritable and instinctively reached for his cup, forgetting that he had already emptied it of coffee. He had to put it down again and refocus his gaze on the screen, where the dense text was reflected in his glasses.

"In March, Cen Zheng temporarily withdrew from the competition due to mental illness..."

Mental illness, it's mental illness again.

His fingertips tapped the mouse idly as he pondered, head down. He didn't care whether Cen Zheng was actually suffering from some kind of mental illness; after all, he wasn't a compassionate person, and for his narrow-minded heart, there were very few people he could care about.

He just suddenly remembered Zhou Zeyu's psychological problems.

Is she feeling better? After experiencing such a huge blow during her time in Belgrade, has she felt any better? Is she still holding grudges about the past?

Is she still tormented by the pain of the past?

The answer is obviously yes. Zhou Zeyu is not a qualified patient, but she is definitely a very skilled actress. Sorkov doesn't know where her superb acting skills come from, but she always unconsciously reveals her disguised side.

If he were to appear in front of her now and ask her this question, Zhou Zeyu would reflexively blurt out the words "I'm fine."

It seems like a pre-set condition, implanted in her brain as a conditioned reflex. Whenever someone tries to explore her true feelings, they are brushed off with smiles and jokes, and everything goes back to the way it was before. She falls silent again, trying to escape her incomplete psyche.

Sorkov disliked psychology and was by no means an expert in the field, but even if he didn't understand it, he should have known that Zhou Zeyu's state was definitely unhealthy, even distorted.

But what else can he do? As a complete stranger who has only known him for a maximum of six months, his options seem extremely limited.

After all, he was just a fleeting passerby in her long life.

The day of parting is not far off; she will return sooner or later. But if that time comes, is he going to just watch her board the plane and disappear over the horizon?

If Zhou Zeyi, a person of such strong character, were to actually return to China and personally experience all of that, she would probably only endure torment more cruel than being burned by fire. Her inner knot remains, and she has not completely let go of it. Therefore, her right knee will never heal, and she will never be able to forgive herself again in this lifetime.

After staring at the computer screen for a long time, Solkov let out a tired breath, reached out and gently took off his glasses, his dark brown eyes reflecting Zhou Zeyu's name on the screen.

The distorted characters were unfamiliar to him, yet he seemed to genuinely understand her emotions through these three symbols.

Her struggles, helplessness, confusion, and pain.

Ten years ago, when he was just an innocent and ignorant child, all he saw through the light was her radiant smile, and all he could feel at that time was happiness.

Ten years later, the world had changed dramatically. When he looked at that name again, he could no longer feel the unreserved joy he once had; instead, he felt only pain.

To him, she was more than just a simple photo hidden behind his phone case; she was a vibrant, real person who had traveled thousands of miles to stand before him unexpectedly, her familiar yet unfamiliar eyes staring straight at him, tears welling in her eyes, before she smiled at him with pursed lips.

But how does happiness turn into pain?

Because of understanding, because of closeness, because of heartache.

Because I want you to be happy.

Sorkov made many mistakes. He was too confident and arrogant, thinking that the world should operate according to his wishes, but that was not the case.

He had hoped to escape that town completely, but everything in the town still haunted him. He broke down, screamed, and even struggled hysterically, but it was all in vain.

He had also dreamed of becoming the world's best swimmer, to be mentioned alongside those famous names, just as his mother had hoped. But things didn't go as planned. He was criticized, expelled from the team, misunderstood and insulted. He couldn't see a bright future.

Of course, most importantly, he shouldn't think that everyone's life trajectory should revolve according to his own wishful thinking.

For example, Zhou Zeyu.

For example, she is not happy, or even joyless. The person who has always had a smooth life, was always smiling, and was incredibly lucky from beginning to end is just Zhou Zeyu in his imagination.

The real Zhou Zeyu will not be better off because of his misjudgment. She is very strong and has endured so many years alone until the truth came out.

In any case, Sorkov wanted to help her.