Hazelnuts (Part 5)

The female voice that was narrating the story had its last note drawn out, bursting out with a bizarre and sharp mechanical bang that echoed in every corner of the air. Zhou Zeyu was so startled that he shuddered and sat up abruptly from the sofa, panting heavily.

She leaned back on the sofa with her eyes closed, the piercing ringing still lingering in her ears. The old movie on the TV was still playing at a leisurely pace, the black and white image occasionally stuttering. She simply picked up the remote and turned it off.

After drinking a large glass of cold water, her wildly beating heart finally calmed down a bit. With a sense of loss, confusion, and even relief as if she had survived a disaster, Zhou Zeyu dragged her weary body onto the bed, burying herself in the messy blankets, her mind still replaying the scenes from her dream, lingering for a long time.

Painful memories that linger for too long become torment when repeatedly recalled. Prolonged torment may lead to numbness, but the most unbearable state is to continue suffering even in numbness.

Zhou Zeyu frowned. She noticed that her knee was burning with pain again, and her entire right leg was stiff. Her injury hadn't hurt like this in a long time, so long that she had even forgotten it existed, but it suddenly flared up again.

She lay on the bed, sweat beading on her forehead, enduring the pain stiffly until it gradually subsided like a receding tide, and dawn broke.

The only positive effect of being plagued by nightmares for so long was that her resilience became stronger. No matter how bizarre, strange, terrifying, or horrifying the dream was, it no longer posed any threat to her once the sun rose. It may sound a little sad, but it is true.

She sat on the steps by the door all morning, exposing herself to the sun until her face turned bright red. In the long period of blankness, she gradually forgot about the nightmare and began to think about what to eat for breakfast.

Today was the day she was scheduled to receive treatment from Professor Elberlint. She ate a few unpalatable slices of dry bread slowly, then slung her bag over her shoulder, pushed her bicycle, and slowly made her way to her destination.

To be honest, Zhou Zeyu was somewhat resistant to this kind of psychological treatment, but she couldn't resist Coach Xu's determination to make her go, and coupled with her own vague expectation, she eventually went, albeit reluctantly.

The professor's office was located in a beautiful garden, in a small villa that he and his wife had meticulously maintained. The garden was filled with a profusion of blooming flowers, and Zhou Zeyu, inhaling the mingled fragrance in the air, couldn't help but feel an immense sense of contentment.

"Please sit down!" The professor warmly handed her a cup of tea, but Zhou Zeyu keenly noticed that he had gained a lot of weight during this time. His originally gentle face had become even more broad, and even the buttons on his shirt looked like they might pop open at any moment.

Seemingly noticing her surprised look, the professor chuckled and patted his belly, then happily sat down in the armchair. "Recently, my wife Marina has been preparing afternoon tea for me every day, and I couldn't resist sneaking a lot of it."

Zhou Zeyu nodded understandingly. When she was growing up, Coach Xu would often secretly bring her pancakes and shumai because he saw how hungry she was. However, he stopped after discovering that she had gained six pounds in a month.

"How about coming over for afternoon tea every day from now on, my child?" The professor's wife suddenly appeared, beaming with enthusiasm. "I'm sure you'll love my sugar cookies; one bite will make you forget all your troubles!"

Europeans may generally exaggerate a bit, but it must be admitted that Zhou Zeyu was indeed extremely curious about the "cookie that makes you forget all your troubles after eating it," so he agreed without hesitation: "Thank you."

The lady nodded in satisfaction, then vanished again as if by magic.

Zhou Zeyu looked at the professor again, still somewhat reservedly clutching the corner of her coat, trying to maintain a nonchalant smile, though her lips were actually twitching from exhaustion.

"Relax, son. How have you been in Belgrade these days?"

“Great,” Zhou Zeyu blurted out, “I’m very happy and relaxed.”

In reality, she was constantly anxious, spending her free time wildly overthinking, afraid that she would have to stay here forever, worried that she would be overtaken by others if she wasn't careful, and so anxious that she would even get irritated when she saw someone playing ball.

Have you tried any new hobbies? How did it go?

"I've tried a lot and feel like I've gained a lot, which is great."

That's complete nonsense. She simply doesn't have the patience to spend a whole day watching for fish to bite. She usually sleeps by the lake and is too lazy to do any yoga practice with the blogger. She doesn't even touch cooking or bartending. It's rare for her to put a piece of butter in her bread while eating.

Do you still often have nightmares at night? How well do you sleep each night?

"No nightmares, I slept soundly until dawn."

That's utter nonsense, because Zhou Zeyu has a terrible habit of being able to fall asleep anywhere except in bed, which has led to her completely disrupted sleep schedule. She would go fishing in the morning while sleeping, and at night she would stare at the ceiling with her eyes wide open until dawn.

As for nightmares, they did seem to have decreased, but she guessed it might be because she was sleeping by the lake, where the sun shone directly on her, making her dreams feel warm as well, usually filled with pleasant memories of buying candy and snacks.

After listening to Zhou Zeyu's resolute reply, Professor Elberlint looked troubled. "Child, don't always be on guard against me. You have to tell me the truth so I can help you regulate your emotions."

Zhou Zeyu's eyes widened. Although she liked the chubby professor very much, it didn't mean she thought he was really capable of untying her knots. After all, it is said that the best comfort is empathy, and she couldn't imagine that someone as happy as the professor would understand her.

A happy family, a loving couple, a warm afternoon tea every day, living in such a beautiful and unique place, earning a high salary, not having to worry about interpersonal relationships, not having to worry about the future, and not being troubled by injuries or illnesses—life is bright and promising.

Therefore, the psychotherapy was actually ineffective, because Zhou Zeyu envied the professor so much that he even felt a slight pain.

Every time she comes here, she has this feeling: she feels so small, and she thinks that someone as fortunate as the professor would probably only see her as sensitive and fragile.

So Zhou Zeyu silently shook his head, unable to say a word.

The professor, however, kept smiling at her. He picked up a teacup, lifted the lid, blew on it gently, took a sip, and let out a satisfied sigh. "Don't be nervous. I haven't said anything about treatment. It's just a casual chat. You can take it as a sign of an elder's concern. Please try this tea; it's West Lake Longjing. You should be familiar with it."

Zhou Zeyu took a small sip; it had a very delicate and elegant flavor. The slightly hot tea glided over her lips and teeth, down her esophagus, and felt warm and comforting. She remembered that Coach Xu also loved to drink it, and there was often a large cup of it in his glass.

"It's delicious, thank you."

The professor's wrinkles immediately smoothed out, and he beamed like a joyful child. "I'm glad you like it. It was a gift from your coach. Xu Ke is a long-time friend of mine, but this is the first time he's ever given me a gift. He really loves you."

Zhou Zeyu felt a little lost for a moment, followed by a long silence. She looked down at the tender green tea leaves swaying slightly in the water and suddenly felt an indescribable sourness.

“This old fellow, he often mentions you to me,” the professor said with a smile, shaking his head as if lost in a distant memory. “So actually I’ve known you for a long time, back when you were just a little kid.”

"He must have said something nice about me."

The professor winked at her, somewhat mysteriously indicating that he couldn't reveal anything, but after a few minutes he said he could reveal a little bit. After keeping her in suspense for a while, he smiled and said, "It's all good stuff."

Zhou Zeyu stared wide-eyed in surprise. Coach Xu had been her mentor for so many years, and although it was undeniable that he was a good professor, she had never heard a single good word from him.

This guy is a world champion himself, and he holds her to the same standards as a world champion, but in reality, he is much stricter than that. Because the national team is full of world champions, Zhou Zeyu always suffers more than others, whether in daily life or training.

After winning a point, she wanted to shout in celebration, but seeing Coach Xu's cold expression, she shrank back dejectedly. After winning the championship, she happily jumped onto Coach Xu's back, but he just snorted and said that if the opponent hadn't made a basic mistake, he wouldn't know where he was. To hear a kind word from him, Zhou Zeyu would have to achieve a cosmic grand slam.

But after hearing Zhou Zeyu's complaints, the professor burst into laughter, "Then I'm so sorry, I've heard all the good things about you from him."

"He said you work very hard, that you are more mature than other children, that you understand things very quickly, that you always like to help others, that you are very kind and considerate, and that you make people feel very at ease."

Zhou Zeyu's eyes stung with tears, and she turned her head away in a panic. She instinctively tried to explain, but what came out of her mouth was a stutter, "Actually, I'm not that good. I'm exaggerating a bit."

"I don't know if he exaggerated or not, but those were his exact words. I think you know him, and you should know his personality."

Zhou Zeyu gently wiped away her tears with her sleeve, pretending to just brush the dust off her eyes. She suppressed the shock and bitterness in her heart with some difficulty and nodded.

The professor seemed oblivious to her unusual behavior, continuing to admire the porcelain cup in his hand, and softly remarked, "Ah, I must say your porcelain is truly beautiful. I love your country."

After a moment of silence, Zhou Zeyu finally spoke again, his voice slightly hoarse, "Actually, I'm a little surprised because I haven't been doing a good job all along. I've made him run around doing so much for me, but he didn't have to work so hard. I'm the one who's dragging him down."

“He didn’t exaggerate at all.” The professor put down his cup, stood up, patted her shoulder rather heavily, and nodded at her with a hint of approval. “You are a kind and considerate child.”

Zhou Zeyu stared at him blankly. "Isn't that being overly sensitive?"

The professor picked up the teapot and her teacup, gulping down tea as he poured more into the cup. In a lighthearted and humorous tone, he said, "Child, if the whole world considered being considerate of others as being sensitive and fragile, then this world would be shamelessly doomed."

She smiled slightly, and the professor smiled back, handing her a full cup. "I guess you've been a bit anxious these past few days, haven't you? Maybe you've also had a loss of appetite and are irritable?"

Zhou Zeyu was completely taken aback by what he had just learned, and looked at the seemingly prescient Professor Elberlint with disbelief.

The professor smiled and waved his hand, saying, "Anxiety is normal. Don't always treat us like saints who are perfect and happy every day. Everyone has troubles and will be anxious sometimes, just for different reasons and to different degrees."

"Still thinking about your career? Afraid of being eliminated, forgotten, and your performance plummeting?" The professor's tone gradually shifted from question to affirmation, while Zhou Zeyu remained silent throughout, which could be considered an admission.

The professor maintained an understanding smile throughout, saying, "And what I want to say is that anxiety is the same. It's not evil, nor is it your enemy, but rather an overprotective friend, because it has seen you get hurt and is trying to protect you."

"When you feel anxious in the future, don't hate it too much. It may just be doing something good but doing something bad, or it may be trying to give you extreme motivation to get you back on the field and fulfill your dream."

It had gotten quite late before they knew it, which meant that their conversation was coming to an end once again. The professor escorted her along the flower-lined path and watched her leave at the gate of the courtyard.

"So how can I alleviate it?" Zhou Zeyu asked one last time before leaving.

"Understand it, then accept it, and finally forget it."

Zhou Zeyu stood there, pondering the meaning of those words, while the professor smiled and waved goodbye to her warmly.

"Well then, see you next time."

Zhou Zeyu nodded and smiled as a farewell. The summer night breeze still carried a hint of heat. She walked alone on Central Street and soon became covered in a thin layer of sweat. There were only a few people hurrying along the roadside, and she was one of them.

The phone rang abruptly. Zhou Zeyu answered it and spoke before Coach Xu could, "Thank you, Lao Xu."

"What are you thanking me for?"

"It's nothing," she said casually. "By the way, how have you been lately? Fang Xiaocan told me the other day that she got punished again."

"You were punished, but it's nothing serious. How are you? Do you feel the therapy is helping?"

Zhou Zeyu answered quite honestly, "I didn't really understand it, but it should be of some use, right..."

Along the long road, the streetlights blurred her shadow into a thin line, gently stretching it into the distance. The only sounds in the air were the casual conversations between the master and apprentice, separated by a thousand miles, interspersed with a few short, sarcastic remarks, and Zhou Zeyu's hearty and rare, unrestrained laughter.