Chapter 1105 The so-called Ouroboros

Such a strong temptation...

For Aiwass, accustomed to the shortcut of pastoral care, it should have been irresistible.

—I’m willing to sacrifice even my life, the price being the slightest deviation from my original intention, the loss of my true self…

But for some reason, when Aiwas was seriously considering whether to accept this powerful force, he inexplicably felt a sense of nausea and a hazy feeling as if something was watching him.

It felt like walking alone in a dark alley late at night.

The cold and damp wind blew through my chest, and I always felt like someone was watching me in the darkness - that level of unease.

A perfect shortcut... or perhaps a perfect trap.

Although this level of suspicion made Aiwass feel a little ridiculous... it was precisely because of the strong disgust in his heart that he chose to refuse.

"...No, I still refuse."

Aiwass thought seriously for a long time, then smiled and politely rejected the temptation. "I would rather pay the price of flesh and blood, life, or even energy level... but this price is too heavy for me. So... thank you, but it's not necessary.

"I still hope... that the legend of this sword will end here. Merlin was right, this sword is still a little too demonic. It can silently and permanently rewrite a person's mind... Even I don't have the confidence to control a curse of this level.

"...If you believe Merlin and think it's a living beast, then the fact that 'Galahad can wield the sword normally without falling' might actually be a trap set by it. It releases one prey to trick more into falling into its trap... there are beasts that are clever enough."

Once he made his choice, Aiwass suddenly felt relaxed.

Although it is a bit regretful...but the decision has been made, and Aiwass will not regret it.

If it was before the "separation and reunion" of Aiwass, Aiwass, who had not yet realized his true heart, might have accepted it.

But Aiwass no longer does that.

Every bit of his current personality comes from his past experiences and from the family and friends around him.

The feelings of sacrifice and transcendence he now possesses, reaching the fifth level, are all derived from Aleister's sacrifice, Isabel's love... from his older brother's affection, Sherlock's friendship... even from his adoptive father's expectations, and from every person he has ever known, good or bad. His growth wasn't achieved overnight, but rather tempered by one event after another.

He no longer wanted to fall into the divine nothingness like the "Pope Aiwass" of the past; nor did he want to be like the "beastly Aleister" with such unruly desires.

Every bit of his current personality was earned by him personally and was something he didn't want to lose.

Any slight deviation that occurs out of nowhere may mean that an experience loses its meaning.

Just like when playing single-player games, Aiwass didn't like using cheats. It was nice to save time and energy on meaningless "grinding for items," but if with a single tap of a finger, you could obtain endless resources and items that would take hundreds of hours to obtain, wouldn't that time spent grinding for items be wasted?

A childhood memory suddenly emerged in Aiwass' mind:

When his family was still intact, he used to enjoy playing Pokémon games on an emulator. Even though it was a pirated single-player game that couldn't play online, and even the Chinese translation had some issues... he still enjoyed it.

You will constantly encounter new Pokémon in the grass, fight with NPCs to earn money, plant fruits, and cultivate eggs... Even if the Pokémon you cultivate cannot be used to fight others, just capturing and cultivating them is full of fun.

But one day, he found a modifier on the Internet.

With just a flick of a finger, you can modify the stats of the Pokémon in your inventory. Whether it's maxed-out or rare traits, or the money, level, and experience in your inventory... or even acquire a late bloomer or even a legendary Pokémon as a new player, it's all done with ease.

He played excitedly for a while, constantly trying out new openings and team compositions. But one day, he suddenly felt bored.

He could no longer calm down and engage in repeated battles to gain experience, nor could he ride his bicycle to hatch a backpack full of eggs. If a modifier could easily do such a thing, then deliberately ignoring it and continuing to waste time was nothing more than self-deception. For a moment, he even felt that the happiness of the past was just a meaningless waste of time...

There are many more experiences like this...

When Aiwass recalled this incident, those memories that seemed to have not existed in Aiwass's mind before were suddenly unsealed one after another.

In Diablo II, a small amulet with +7 skill levels is obtained through a modifier;

When playing RPG games, directly let the protagonist's team obtain all members' magical equipment;

When playing an action game, the character you control gets actions or skills in the early stages that require repeated dungeon clearing to unlock...

Once you've tried that kind of thing, there's no going back. After a brief moment of ecstasy, the game suddenly feels like it's lost its fun... or rather, the fun that was initially slowly gained is quickly acquired and consumed in a short period of time, leaving no memories worth cherishing.

There is one thing in common when using modifiers, which is that it makes you feel that your past self was stupid for the long time of brushing for resources and props - but you obviously felt happy because of this sense of achievement at the time.

Is that kind of happiness also a kind of stupidity?

But he clearly remembered how vivid they were.

Even the shining memories themselves have become cheap.

"—I cannot accept the sudden change of my self-awareness."

Aiwass said seriously: "I always feel like I have done something similar wrong before... This feeling is disgusting."

Isabel suddenly seemed to sense something and looked up at the sky.

There was clearly an empty ceiling there.

But for some reason, Isabel felt as if there was an eye watching them. It was as if Janice was peering at her from within the painting...

Dream world, focus point.

Huan Tiansi, who was staring at Aiwass closely in front of the display screen, raised the corners of his mouth slightly.

A strand of silver thread was wrapped around the index finger of his left hand - it was a ball of memory that he had just retrieved from his mind.

Just now, through Aiwass's confirmation, he found another memory that could be confirmed as real.

To protect this memory from being eroded by the Whispers of the Void, he sent it into Aiwass's mind.

He has done this many times.

Every time I do it with extreme caution.

It was like trying to salvage some files from a computer that had been infected by the virus and transferring them to a backup machine. Unless he was certain that the memory was absolutely correct, he would never pass it on.

Of course, strictly speaking... it wasn't a "transfer," but an unblocking. They were essentially the same person, like two computers in an internet cafe, both connected to the same database. However, Huan Tian Si blocked Aiwass's access to the memories of "all Xiao Ai," which was why Aiwass's memories were so blurry and fragmented.

——Any of his memories may be fictional.

Because so-called "memories" are nothing more than thoughts. Only memories that Aiwass also has can be sure of their authenticity.

"Even if you don't remember anything, you're still instinctively resisting the whispers of the void..."

As expected of me—Huan Tiansi should have had such thoughts.

But his remaining emotions were so utterly dull that he couldn't even offer such praise. He watched all this, his heart as calm as water. The entire world seemed to be a vast barrier between him and them—no one could understand him, just as he couldn't reach anyone.

But immediately, a new idea came into Huan Tiansi's mind:

If he separated all his memories bit by bit and handed them over to Evans... who would be the real one?

Who is the real snake? And who is the discarded tail?

"That's long-winded."

Watching Aiwas completely destroy the red-handled sword under Haibasha's guidance, Huan Tiansi breathed a sigh of relief and said calmly: "That kind of thing is completely irrelevant. What's the matter, are you anxious?"

The so-called "snake with its tail in its mouth" is a snake that cannot distinguish between head and tail.

——The head of a snake is its tail, and the tail of a snake is its head.

Update completed!

(End of this chapter)