Chapter 210 Taking a Step

After a few moments of silence, Mrs. Yin sat up, put on her clothes, and walked over, saying, "You're getting stuck in a rut. Think about it carefully. If you can't see things clearly, you'll be the one who goes crazy and suffers in the future."

Yin Caiwei remained silent.

Yin's mother left.

Yin Caiwei closed her eyes, hot tears sliding down her cheeks. She knew her mother's words were true, but she couldn't face them, didn't want to face them, and couldn't bear the fact that these words came from her own mother. The resignation and compromise in those words pierced her heart. She realized acutely that two paths lay ahead of her: one led to Meng Qing's retreating figure, and the other to her mother's retreating figure.

Yin Caiwei sat up, put on her cloak, got out of bed, opened the door, and went to the next room into the cold wind.

The wet nurse was already asleep when she heard the knocking. She asked in a low voice, "Who is it?"

"Give me Ximei," Yin Caiwei said softly.

The wet nurse hurriedly got out of bed to open the door. "Wife, why did you come out in such cold weather?"

Yin Caiwei didn't speak. She went inside, picked up her baby daughter from the bed, and whispered, "I'll take care of her tonight."

“The young lady still wants to drink milk in the middle of the night…” the wet nurse said.

"When the time comes, go there. My door is ajar, not bolted." Yin Caiwei left with the child in her arms.

The maid sleeping in the other side room heard the commotion and came out, but was dismissed by Yin Caiwei after asking only a few questions. She leaned against the high pillow and looked at her daughter. If she was still like she was twenty years ago, only daring to think but not to act, letting her ridiculous resentment and pride fester in the dark, and refusing to accept the facts, would her daughter come to persuade her to face reality ten years later: Mother, my father and my second uncle are different, and you and my aunt are different too.

The thought of this scene made Yin Caiwei feel suffocated.

"I need to wake up. I can't pretend to be asleep anymore," Yin Caiwei said to herself in a low voice. "I can't force myself to retreat to the inner quarters anymore. I've read a lot of books, I know a lot of principles, I'm physically healthy, and I have a prestigious title. I can do a lot of things."

Yin Caiwei secretly warned herself that she must try. If she still dared not break free from the constraints and retreated back to her comfort zone, she would never have the chance to fight for respect for herself again in her life, and this life of being ignored and belittled by her husband would continue for decades.

Footsteps sounded outside the door, which was gently pushed open from the outside. Mother Yin walked in and asked, "Caiwei, are you asleep?"

Yin Caiwei hurriedly wiped away her tears and said, "Mother, go to sleep, I'm fine now."

Madam Yin noticed her nasal tone, so she stopped and stood motionless behind the screen.

"I brought the baby here. It's a bit cramped on the bed, Mom. You should go back to your room to sleep," Yin Caiwei said without turning her head.

Mother Yin sighed and said nothing more. It was a good thing that she could figure things out sooner. She was afraid that Caiwei would become too attached to a man's tenderness and that if Du Min took a concubine in the future, she would be half-dead from the pain, and the couple would become estranged.

Yin Caiwei heard footsteps and went out. She got out of bed, picked up the kettle on the charcoal stove, used a handkerchief dipped in hot water to wipe the tear stains on her face, reapplied face cream, and then lay back down on the bed.

As the night passed, Yin Caiwei seemed to have forgotten the argument with her mother. She acted as if nothing had happened, busily washing her body and hair, changing into new clothes, and announcing that she was out of confinement.

Seeing her like this, Yin's mother didn't bring it up again.

Du Min was unable to return on the day his child turned one month old. It wasn't until the afternoon of Lunar New Year's Eve that he and Wang Sima returned to Hanoi County and made it in time for the family reunion dinner that evening.

Meng Qing and Du Li also invited Meng's parents over. That evening, the whole family filled the table, some drinking, some talking, some playing with the children, and some listening attentively. The room was bustling with activity.

“This child doesn’t look like Caiwei; her eyes and mouth look like her father’s,” said Mother Yin, holding Ximei.

“He looks exactly like the third brother when he was little.” Du Li chimed in from the other side. “I had forgotten what the third brother looked like when he was little. But on the day of his full moon, as soon as Xi Mei brought him out, I remembered him.”

"Really?" Du Min quickly leaned forward and interjected upon hearing the voice, "You're only three years older than me, do you still remember what I looked like when I was a month old?"

“I’m not sure either, but the moment I saw Ximei, a picture came to mind, and that’s what you look like.” Du Li said with certainty.

“It seems you have a good memory,” Father Yin continued. “You two are brothers from the same mother. Du Min is intelligent, and you are no less so. I can tell that your two children are also clever and bright, which proves that you, as their father, are not stupid. It’s a pity that you didn’t study when you were young, otherwise you could have passed the imperial examinations.”

Du Li smiled but didn't say anything.

"How old are you this year? Thirty?" Mr. Yin asked. "You're not that old. Have you ever considered taking the exam together as father and son? It would be quite a story if we both passed the exam."

Du Li laughed, "Competing for a spot with my youngest son? I'll be fifty by then."

“You’re making a fuss over nothing. Go and see for yourself when the prefectural exams start this year. You’ll see plenty of candidates with wrinkled faces, and there are even fifty-year-olds taking the exams,” said Mr. Yin.

Du Li shook her head. "I've been reading for the past two years, but I won't take the imperial examinations. I have no obsession with fame and fortune. Twenty years from thirty to fifty, such precious years. It would be terrible to invest them all in the imperial examinations. I have more important things to do."

He had seen Du Min and Wang Zhou studying; they truly rose early and went to bed late, sitting for an entire day, reciting their lessons like chanting scriptures, their mouths never stopping. If one were to truly pursue the imperial examination path, one could accomplish nothing but studying.

"Second Brother, is there anything else important?" Yin Caiwei asked.

“There are many things to do. For example, if your second sister-in-law goes on a long trip, I have to go with her. With me around, she won’t have a bad reputation no matter where she goes or who she meets. I also have to take care of the children, visit the elders, and run errands for your second sister-in-law and third brother,” Du Li explained simply.

"Don't you have anything you enjoy doing?" Yin Caiwei pressed. "Don't you want worldly recognition and affirmation?"

Meng Qing looked at Du Li.

“I used to enjoy farming because it was the only thing I was good at, but I’ve been neglecting farm work for so long that I’ve become rusty.” Du Li said a little embarrassedly. “As for the worldly recognition and affirmation you mentioned, I won’t be looked down upon or belittled outside because of my status as the third brother and your second sister-in-law. And inside, your second sister-in-law and the two children will accept me.”

Yin Caiwei didn't know how she felt. Du Li played the same role as her, taking care of his wife and children, supporting his elderly parents, and managing the household. He found this kind of life fulfilling, but she felt resentful. She asked herself if she could be as down-to-earth and practical as Du Li, but the answer was no. Du Li could participate in the political maneuvering without even trying; Meng Qing and Du Min didn't hide anything from him. He was different from her.

Worried that Yin Caiwei might say something unpleasant, Yin's mother changed the subject, saying, "Sister Pan, is Uncle Wangzhou not home this year?"

"He's gone back to Wu County. He wants to do business in Suzhou and Yangzhou." Meng's mother didn't want to talk about Meng Chun anymore. She raised her wine cup and said, "You're getting cold sitting here. Let's have a drink to warm up."

Upon hearing this, the others raised their wine cups.

Du Li took a sip of wine, then got up to give orders to the servants to bring in two more charcoal stoves.

“In the few days I’ve been here, I haven’t seen anyone performing corvée labor in Hanoi County. What’s going on?” Vice Minister Yin asked Du Min.

“I gave the order that since winter came early this year, the forced labor of digging river mud is too harmful to people, so it should be canceled and conscription should be postponed until the weather warms up,” Du Min replied. He explained, “I plan to conscript laborers from the five counties of Huai Prefecture to Wen County to build the Yellow River dike after spring. I will also hire a group of strong women and seventeen or eighteen-year-old boys. By then, the paper mill and hemp mill will have income and there will be extra money to pay the workers.”

"Using the resources of an entire prefecture to manage the Yellow River in just one county?" Father Yin nodded. "I reckon the waterways of Huai Prefecture could really be improved in your hands."

"Within five years at most, I will completely resolve the root cause of the Yellow River's breaches and course changes in Wen County," Du Min declared, aiming to be promoted to Prefect of Huai Prefecture within five years.

Yin Shilang greatly admired his determination and fighting spirit, and he raised his wine cup to invite Meng's father to drink with Du Min.

Du Li passed by and sat down next to Meng's father, reminding him, "Dad, don't drink too much. If you can't drink it, I'll drink it for you."

Meng's father said disdainfully, "Your alcohol tolerance is not as good as mine."

Du Li thought to himself that if he drank too much, he would just sleep and wouldn't talk nonsense.

“Third Uncle, how much profit does the paper mill make? Is the money enough? Do you need to raise funds? I can donate some to you,” Meng’s father asked.

Du Li: ...

“I do want to raise some money, but not cash, I want to raise grain,” Du Min said. “If the wages are not enough, we can temporarily pay on credit. The paper mill and hemp mill have no worries about sales, and there are monthly payments in the accounts. They have enough capacity to support the government’s debt to the laborers. Uncle Meng, if you are willing to donate money, why not donate grain, vegetables and meat? Then send a few servants to set up some large pots at the work sites to cook rice and help me solve the problem of feeding the laborers.”

“Okay,” Meng’s father readily agreed.

“Isn’t the Meng family’s resources enough? Shouldn’t we also raise grain and vegetables from other wealthy households?” Yin Caiwei saw an opportunity and eagerly said, “Leave this matter to me. I will unite with the ladies of various households to raise grain from the local gentry and wealthy households.”

“You can’t do it.” Du Min refused decisively, then looked at Meng Qing ingratiatingly, “Second sister-in-law, would you like to help me take on this task? You have more influence among merchants, scholars, and gentry than I do. They are willing to listen to you and follow your lead.”

Yin Caiwei's face immediately darkened.

“This is not just one thing. I have agreed that I will take care of the transportation of grain and vegetables, the storage of grain, and the distribution of grain in the future.” Meng Qing saw the change in Yin Caiwei’s expression, but she could not interfere. Whether Yin Caiwei could interfere in matters outside the manor was something she had to discuss with Du Min herself.

“If you don’t want to worry about it, I’ll have the military advisor in charge of grain collection take over the rest,” Du Min said. In terms of fundraising, he was indeed no match for Meng Qing.

Meng Qing looked at Du Li and said, "Do you want to do this? If you handle it, there won't be any embezzlement."

"Me?" Du Li didn't expect the conversation to turn to him again. He thought for a few seconds and said, "According to what the third brother said, this project will last for three to five years. Does that mean that once construction starts, I will have to stay in Wen County?"

“If you’re worried about being separated from your family, Second Brother, I’m willing to take turns with you. I can do accounting, keep accounts, and manage people. I can help you.” Yin Caiwei mustered her courage to try again. She avoided Du Min’s gaze and looked at Du Li pleadingly.

Du Li saw pleading and a deep melancholy in her eyes. In this family, he understood her predicament best. He had once been like her, only knowing about daily necessities and completely unaware of the things Du Min and Meng Qing were interested in. From initial anxiety, anger, and jealousy, he eventually fell into silent helplessness. But he was different from her. He had met Meng Qing, while she had met Du Min. Meng Qing did everything without hiding it from him, and Du Min had kept his entire past hidden from her.

“If you’re willing to help me out, I’ll take on this tedious task,” Du Li replied.

Yin Caiwei smiled, "I'm not afraid of trivial matters, I can do them."

Du Min frowned, but refrained from reacting immediately because his parents-in-law were present.

Mother Yin disagreed, saying, "That's a crowded and noisy place, full of rough men who are always shirtless and saying vulgar things. What are you going to do there? Aren't you afraid of getting your eyes and ears dirty? You'll just make yourself a laughingstock and make it difficult for your son-in-law to face people in official circles. Besides, Ximei is still so young. Who will take care of her if you leave?"

“Xi Mei has a wet nurse and maids to serve her. When I’m not home, my second brother and sister-in-law are definitely home. With them watching over her, Xi Mei won’t be mistreated,” Yin Caiwei retorted.

“Your mother is right. That’s a mixed bag of people. It’s not suitable for you to go there.” Vice Minister Yin said with a furrowed brow. He knew that many of the men serving in the army were not respectful. Some would urinate in public, and others would talk about vulgar things all the time. Caiwei was a noble lady and was not suitable to go to such a place.

“Listen to your parents,” Du Min chimed in. “Second brother, you’ll assist the military advisor in charge of the warehouse and keep an eye on him for me. You don’t need to stay in Wen County every day.”

Yin Caiwei lowered her head, tears welling up in her eyes.

“She’s in a room by herself, looking at the accounts and listening to the manager’s reports. It’s not a problem,” Du Li couldn’t help but chime in. “She’s willing to help the third brother with the miscellaneous tasks. It’s a good intention. Let her give it a try.”

“I don’t need any more manpower,” Du Min replied outright.

Du Li glared at him.

“The household chores are handled by the steward and maids. Caiwei stays at home all day with nothing to do, and she gets bored easily. It’s normal for her to want to find something to do.” Meng Qing thought of what Yin Caiwei had asked her to name her child, and she offered her help: “Caiwei, I have a suggestion for you. You should unite with the ladies of various households to hold a charity event from time to time, collecting used bedding, clothing, and shoes from each household and donating them to poor families. During festivals, raise another sum of money to invite doctors to go to the countryside to treat people. If you can persist in doing this for many years and manage the charity event well, after several decades, you will surely have a good reputation among the people.”

After a few moments of thought, Du Min compromised and said, "This is feasible. When I was serving in Heqing County, I also led my yamen runners to the countryside to deliver grain and blankets to poor families."

Yin Caiwei took a deep breath, held back her tears, and said, "I'll listen to my second sister-in-law."

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Author's note: See you tomorrow night.