Chapter 31 [VIP]

After his unpleasant parting with Lin Langli, Chenmian ran away from home again, carrying a small bread roll. He deliberately chose a guesthouse courtyard that was a bit far from the school, asked the school for a short leave, and processed his feelings alone.

When Shen Ci went to look for her on Saturday night, the two discovered that Shen Mian had disappeared again.

When he tried to send a message or make a call, Shen Ci discovered that he had also been ruthlessly blocked by Shen Mian.

Although he didn't know exactly what had happened, Shen Ci, who was clearly being blamed, coldly looked at Lin Langli, whose face was even darker. The two of them started fighting again after exchanging only a few words.

Back in the car, Shen Ci opened the location app to check Shen Mian's location. It was a place near the suburbs. He clicked on the location and stared into thought as he looked at the place name on the app.

Could Chen Mian have gone to a hotel with someone? Hotels require ID cards, but guesthouses are more lenient... The more Chen Ci thought about it, the more likely it seemed. He could hardly sit still, his heart was restless and he cursed Lin Langli in his heart for being such a useless person who didn't even know when Chen Mian had gone out.

If it were really with someone else, they would have been asleep for at least several hours, and would have done everything they shouldn't have done!

Chen Mian was quite happy; the humiliation and sadness of the day had miraculously dissipated after a good night's sleep. His thoughts returned to Shen Jinshan.

How should I confess my feelings to my brother? Someone like Shen Jinshan must have received so many love letters since he was a child.

Gentle and beautiful, intelligent and sensible—what kind of women weren't there? Yet, it was him who, in just a few months, made Shen Jinshan fall for him.

What does this tell us?

This shows that he is deeply charismatic even in his slumber!

Encouraged by her own efforts, Chenmian ran around the room twice in her slippers, then excitedly jumped onto the bed, rolling around in her blanket.

After searching online for a bunch of posts on "how to confess to an older man", Chenmian's cheeks flushed and her heart was pounding so hard it felt like it was going to jump out of her chest.

Finally, he solemnly contacted his usual jewelry store and ordered two rings.

He himself liked flashy things and usually wore several rings stacked together, but Shen Jinshan was different. Shen Jinshan was calm, mature, and restrained, so Shen Mian ultimately chose a minimalist plain ring.

This time, I'll definitely have to pay for it myself; using someone else's card would be incredibly insincere.

Chenmian hugged her pillow and lay on the bed, then went to look at the product pictures on the store page. She happily picked out several new clothes, deciding that she would dress more maturely on the day of her confession and could no longer dress as childishly as she did now.

With everything prepared, I slept soundly and contentedly, drifting off to sleep once more.

He woke up in the middle of the night. He fed the baby bread and then took a nice hot bath.

Just as I was about to blow-dry my hair, I heard a commotion downstairs, and even the nearby lights started turning on one after another.

Chenmian, wrapped in her pajamas, went downstairs and immediately saw Chen Ci standing in the middle of the courtyard.

"Why are you here?" He paused for a moment, then glanced at the apologetic shopkeeper before pulling Shen Ci into the courtyard. "Looking for me in the middle of the night?"

Immediately afterward, Chenmian realized what was happening and asked warily, "Wait, how did you find me?"

With a sullen face and without saying a word, Shen Ci barged into the house and searched around in a gloomy manner, as if he were catching someone in the act.

The slumbering figure behind him was very unhappy: "Say something! How did you find me?"

There was nothing on the first floor, so Shen Ci turned to the second floor with a cold expression.

There were three rooms on the second floor. Chenmian chose the largest one to stay in. As soon as he opened the door, the cat pounced at his feet and meowed.

Chenmian picked up the cat from behind, his face turning pale. He had just taken a shower, and his hair was still wet, clinging to his cheeks and neck. The cold wind from going downstairs had made his face turn several shades white.

"What do you mean? Shen Ci, what are you looking for here?"

The second floor was also checked, and there was indeed no trace of anyone else. However, Shen Ci's mood did not improve. He leaned against the door, with his other hand on the door frame, blocking Shen Mian's way, and answered the question: "Did you hide any other men?"

Chenmian laughed angrily: "What do you mean?"

Shen Ci lowered his head to examine the boy in front of him. Shen Mian should be an hour or two older than him, so why has he never acted like an older brother all these years, and instead has to clean up his messes every time?

His eyes flashed with impatience, and his tone grew colder: "What do you mean by blocking me? Did I offend you?"

Just as Chenmian was rendered speechless by the question, she suddenly remembered the unresolved issue, shoved the man in front of her hard, and raised her voice: "Why are you yelling at me? How did you find me? Did you set up a tracking device for me?"

Shen Ci didn't even blink, appearing cold and ruthless. His sharp eyes coldly stared at the person in front of him: "Who told you to always cause trouble?"

"I only found out yesterday that you have someone you like, and today you suddenly blocked me. I don't even know where you disappeared to. If I didn't have location tracking installed, are you trying to drive me crazy?"

Shen Mian was stunned by Shen Ci's unreasonable and self-righteous manner. Her chest heaved violently before she managed to find her voice: "I'm an adult! My affairs are none of your business! What right do you have to spy on me like this? What right do you have?"

Shen Ci's gaze swept over the messy bed in the room, his tone even more somber: "Stop yelling at me. Speak properly. If I hadn't come today, were you going to go see that person these past few days?"

Chenmian followed his gaze and suddenly sneered, "So what if it is?"

He raised his chin, a hint of naive defiance in his eyes: "You still know him."

It's really strange that one after another they come to be scolded. First it was Lin Langli, and then it was Shen Ci. Do they really think that he, Shen Mian, is made of cotton?

Shen Ci's breath hitched, and he forced down his anger: "Who?"

Seeing Shen Ci's obvious anger but his forced restraint, Shen Mian finally regained a bit of pride: "He likes me, and I like him too. I'm going to marry him in the future!"

"Who exactly is it?" After a long silence, Shen Ci asked, suppressing his anger.

Chenmian smiled smugly, then suddenly suppressed her anger and became gentle and tender. She gently scratched the air with the hand that was still holding the little bread: "Big brother, I want to be with you, big brother."

For a moment, Shen Ci thought he was hallucinating or dreaming, otherwise how could he have heard such an absurd answer?

He stared at the boy in front of him, feeling that even the sleeping face had become unfamiliar.

"What?" he asked again.

Undeterred, Chenmian replied again, "He's my older brother, but we're not blood brothers anyway."

Receiving the same answer again, Shen Ci could no longer deceive himself. His pupils contracted sharply, and his face was filled with disbelief and horror. His voice trembled as he shouted, "Shen Mian! Are you fucking crazy? What nonsense are you spouting!"

He grabbed Chenmian's wrist with such force that the boy in his hand winced in pain, but Chen Ci seemed oblivious, only pressing him urgently, "Chenmian! Do you know what you're saying? You and your older brother—have you lost your mind?"

Startled by Shen Ci's intense reaction, Shen Mian angrily broke free, rubbing her reddened wrist, and said dismissively, "You're the one who's crazy. Why can't my brother and I be together? We're not related by blood. I like him and want to be with him. What's wrong with that?"

"like?"

As if he had heard the most absurd joke in the world, Shen Ci's eyes were filled with shock, panic, and a kind of almost desperate anger that Chen Mian could not understand.

He squeezed his eyes shut, his Adam's apple bobbing as he tried to stop the blood from tasting his tongue, and forced himself to speak: "Chenmian, that's not love, that's a younger brother's dependence on his older brother, not that kind of love. Your older brother... he just treats you like a younger brother. Wake up, okay?"

"I'm not sober? I'm perfectly sober!" After being repeatedly denied, Chenmian lost her temper and retorted with a cold laugh, "How do you know that my brother only sees me as a younger brother? He likes me too. Last night he was drunk and wouldn't let go of me."

Having stopped in time, Chenmian was too embarrassed to reveal more details, and just stubbornly glared at Chenci.

"He's drunk! He's out of his mind!" Shen Ci's chest heaved violently with anger, and veins throbbed on his forehead. "Chen Mian, I'm warning you one last time. Immediately, right now, get rid of this utterly absurd idea! Doing this will only ruin everything! Make everyone look bad! Big brother will never accept it! Do you hear me?"

"What's it to you? What right do you have to interfere? I know exactly what I want to do!"

“Sleepless…” Shen Ci was startled by Shen Mian’s disgusted look before he could finish speaking. He had never had such a fierce argument with Shen Mian before.

Chenmian looked at him, her tone filled with disappointment: "I hate the way you are. Why do you think you're always right? Yes, I'm not as smart as you and Lin Langli, but that doesn't mean I'm an idiot."

"When I lived with Lin Langli before, why didn't you care about me? You let him bully me. Now that I like my older brother, you suddenly appear to control me. This doesn't make sense."

He sounded a little sad as he spoke, and pushed Shen Ci downstairs forcefully, saying, "Get out, go back. My affairs are none of your business."

Shen Ci was pushed onto the steps, his tone softening slightly, but he wasn't good at coaxing people, so it still sounded a bit harsh: "Chen Mian, although you and Shen Jinshan aren't blood brothers, don't you find it strange that you've had such a long-standing relationship?"

"..." After a two-second silence, Chenmian said, "But I didn't know I liked him before I knew my past. I only recently developed feelings for him, so it doesn't count as incest."

Shen Ci took a deep breath and finally asked the question that had been weighing on his heart for the longest time and that he was most unwilling to accept: "Then how could you fall in love with your older brother? All these years, I've been the one closest to you. Why wasn't it me?"

He was truly unwilling to accept it.

While he was condemning himself for his vaguely distorted feelings for Shen Mian and desperately trying to restrain himself, Shen Mian could so easily and naturally accept the fact that he liked his older brother.

How could he accept this?

This time, Chenmian answered quickly, giving him a look as if he were an idiot: "You know we've always been the best of friends, how could I bring myself to do it? My older brother and I weren't that close before..."

Shen Ci left dejectedly, and Shen Mian didn't even offer him a place to stay for the night.

As she was leaving, Chenmian peeked through the crack in the door and said to him with a naive cruelty, "From now on, I'm with my older brother, Chen Ci. I allow you to stop calling me sister-in-law and continue calling me by my name."

What a reckless fool! Shen Ci trembled with rage, his blood running cold.

But when he looked into Chenmian's clear yet stubborn eyes, he was ultimately afraid—afraid of pushing him further away, afraid that the last bit of space that belonged to him in Chenmian's eyes would disappear.

He could only suppress his surging anger and squeeze out a sentence through gritted teeth: "Shen Jinshan doesn't like you that much."

Then, amidst Shen Mian's unceremonious drive-away, he turned away in a disheveled state and disappeared into the night.

After closing the door, Chenmian opened the window a crack to let in some fresh air, and hugged the little bread, feeling increasingly aggrieved.

Shen Ci and Lin Langli, what gives them the right? What gives them the right to jump out and deny his feelings so categorically? They simply don't understand! The things Shen Jinshan said and did while drunk that night... that was the most authentic brother after losing all pretense. Would Shen Jinshan really deny that?

He sniffed hard, forcing back the tears welling in his eyes; he couldn't think about it anymore.

He picked up his phone, switched back to his chat with Shen Jinshan, and, as if absorbing nourishment, repeatedly reviewed the conversation records that he already knew by heart.

Although Shen Jinshan had been very cold to him lately, replying with brief and distant words, that drunken night was like a shot of adrenaline in his heart, supporting all his courage.

Never mind—

I'll confess my feelings once the ring arrives.

For the next few days, Chenmian seemed to live in a colorful bubble.

He drifted through life happily, and Shen Ci indeed didn't come to his door again, but changed his contact information and continued to persuade him. When Shen Mian was in a good mood, he could chat with him about everyday things, but as soon as Shen Ci's words revealed his disapproval of Shen Jinshan, he would block him again without hesitation.

After several attempts, Shen Ci seemed to finally resign himself to his fate and quiet down. Shen Mian even cheerfully reminded him: "Don't tell anyone beforehand."

Shen Ci: [Lin Langli lives with you all the time, hasn't he noticed?]

The light from the phone screen illuminated Shen Mian's face. His fingertips paused, and after a long while, he slowly typed a few words: 【He knows.】

The internet isolates voice and expression. Looking at these three casually written words, Shen Ci felt a lump in his throat, as if he had swallowed a whole green apricot. He was overwhelmed with indescribable bitterness and panic.

Did Lin Langli actually know all this?

Shenmian didn't know how Shenci was feeling right now, and when she sent this message, Shenmian's feelings were equally complicated and hard to describe.

Lin Langli knew about his situation, and even knew that he was going to confess his feelings soon. The complicated relationship between them was like a tangled mess of yarn.

Actually, I'm a little afraid that if Lin Langli is pushed to the limit, he might do something uncontrollable.

Suppressing her unease, after obtaining the ring, Chenmian quietly sent the cat home and, carrying her repeatedly revised love letter, boarded a plane to find Shen Jinshan.

Unbeknownst to Chenmian, Lin Langli also boarded the plane to visit him on his next flight.

Unfortunately, the weather wasn't cooperating.

Shen Jinshan was away on a business trip and had not yet returned. Shen Mian got the hotel address from his assistant and went straight to the hotel after getting off the plane.

The sky was overcast and oppressive, making it hard to breathe. Halfway through the journey, a sudden gust of wind arose, followed by a torrential downpour. Large raindrops pounded against the car windows, blurring the entire city.

Inside the taxi, Chenmian looked out at the rain and felt a strange pang of anxiety, which he attributed to the nervousness he felt before confessing his feelings.

She still stepped into the hotel without hesitation and, greeted by Shen Jinshan's assistant, entered her brother's suite.

The assistant said, "President Shen hasn't returned yet. He instructed me to book another room for you and take you shopping nearby."

Why book a room when it's a suite? Chen Mian thought to himself with a hint of annoyance, interrupting his assistant's arrangements for him: "No need, you can go out. I'll sleep here with my brother for a while—when will he be back?"

The assistant said, "That might take until midnight."

So busy... So tiring, my dormant heart has softened completely.

After his assistant left, he was left alone in the spacious suite. Chenmian put down his backpack, leaned on the coffee table in the living room, took out the beautiful stationery he had carefully prepared, and began to rewrite the love letter stroke by stroke, trying to calm his heart which was about to leap out of his chest.

It's true, it's like he's getting nervous when he gets close to home. Why is he so nervous when things get really important?

She let out a heavy sigh, put down the half-copied love letter, and then took out the ring to look at it from left to right.

Would Shen Jinshan's ring be suitable? Would he like this style? Or is it a bit too plain? What if others can't tell that Shen Jinshan is taken?

His mind was filled with all sorts of thoughts. He forced himself to finish copying the love letter and then went to the bathroom for a bath.

In the misty air, he gazed at the city shrouded in rain outside the floor-to-ceiling window, feeling both expectant and apprehensive.

The rain kept falling, but it briefly stopped when we went to the lobby for dinner, and a little bit of sunshine even came out.

As Chenmian watched the endless stream of guests, doormen, and waiters in the hotel lobby, her eyes began to sting, but she still couldn't catch a glimpse of Shen Jinshan's face.

The assistant said it would be quite late, so Chenmian reluctantly went upstairs. After thinking for a while, she ordered a large bouquet of lisianthus from a nearby flower shop. The beautiful white flowers were scattered among the elegant wrapping paper. Touching the delicate petals, Chenmian felt a strange sense of calm.

He hid the flowers behind the side of the sofa, placed the love letter neatly on the coffee table, and weighed one corner down with the small ring box. Then, he turned all the lights in the room to a warm, dim hue, creating a hazy and private atmosphere.

After doing all this, exhaustion and tension washed over her. She curled up on the sofa, and in the air filled with the scent of lisianthus and the lingering aroma of Shen Jinshan, she fell into a deep sleep.

In his dream, he had an exceptionally beautiful and fulfilling dream. When Shen Jinshan entered the room, the first thing he saw was him. Then, when the man saw the gifts, flowers, and love letters he had prepared, he was stunned and stood there in place. At this moment, Shen Mian went up and hugged him. Shen Jinshan was too tall, and Shen Mian had to stand on tiptoe to hug him.

But when the two embraced, Shenmian felt a sense of peace and happiness he had never experienced before, and at that moment, he heard Shen Jinshan whisper a promise in his ear: "Mianmian, thank you for liking me, and I like you too—I will cherish you as much as I cherish my own life."

The dream was so sweet that I woke up with a smile.

He blinked sleepily, then instinctively turned his head to the side—

Then he saw it.

Seeing Shen Jinshan sitting on the sofa opposite, his face was gloomy and his expression terrifying, his hand tightly clutching the letter that Shen Mian had revised countless times and copied repeatedly.

“…Brother?” Shenmian had a bad feeling. Her mind went blank, her lips trembled uncontrollably, and she subconsciously called out this name.

Shen Jinshan looked up in response.

Chenmian met a pair of eyes—eyes he had never seen on Shen Jinshan's face before. His brother, who was always kind and gentle to him, now had a grim expression, a mixture of disgust and rage, like the storm that had gathered in the room that afternoon.

Shen Jinshan was furious. Shen Mian noticed that the man's knuckles had turned white from the force he was using, and the fragile, light love letter in his hand was wrinkled and even cracked.

The deep sleep was like being struck by lightning.

Shen Jinshan stood up and walked step by step to Shen Mian. His tall figure cast a shadow that completely enveloped Shen Mian. The love letter in his hand was thrown at Shen Mian without any mercy, as if it were some dirty trash. The light paper felt as if it carried a thousand pounds of force, making Shen Mian feel cold all over, and a chill seeped into her bones.

Chenmian wanted to say something more, trying to find the last glimmer of hope: "Brother, I..."

Shen Jinshan looked down at him, his disgust clearly visible. He looked at Shen Mian, who was sitting on the sofa with a weak and innocent expression, her eyes already covered with a thin layer of pink from being frightened by his terrifying aura, and his heart was filled with annoyance.

Clearly! He had already decided to give up on Sleep! Why did Sleep have to provoke him?

What was written in the letter? "Because my brother has always loved and protected me"... Ha, even now, I have never truly understood his repressed and dark heart.

Yet she dared to come so rashly, hastily, and presumptuously, using her so-called "liking" to completely shatter the peace he had painstakingly maintained.

He has already ruined him, so why doesn't he let him go even in his slumber? Why does he want to go a step further and go even deeper to destroy him?

Shen Jinshan reached out, his icy fingers gripping Shen Mian's chin, forcing the boy on the sofa to raise his head and face the storm raging in his eyes: "Shen Mian... what is this? What kind of filthy things are you thinking about all day long?"

"I'm your brother! Don't you even know what human relationships and moral principles are?"

"To have such thoughts about the older brother who raised you since you were a child... How disgusting! Do you even know how to write the word 'shame'?"

"This is incest! It's disgusting!"

Every word and every sentence is Shen Jinshan's question to Shen Mian, and at the same time, it is Shen Jinshan's self-condemnation over the years!

He loathed Chenmian's closeness to him, loathed Chenmian's feelings for him, but in reality, what he loathed most was his own despicable self who had such inappropriate feelings for him so early on.

Chen Mian's head was spinning. Every word Chen Jinshan said was like a red-hot blade, stabbing into Chen Mian's heart and then cruelly churning it.

The color drained from his face instantly, his lips trembled, but he couldn't utter a sound.

He stared blankly at Shen Jinshan's handsome face, twisted with anger and contempt, and at the undisguised disgust and coldness in his eyes. He felt as if his whole world had collapsed at that moment.

So... so the love he cherished so carefully, the love he treasured like a precious gem, was actually so despicable, filthy, and disgusting in Shen Jinshan's eyes. In Shen Jinshan's eyes, it was nothing but incest?

Overwhelmed by immense humiliation and despair, tears welled up unexpectedly, blurring his vision.

Shenmian opened his mouth, wanting to defend himself, to cry out, to question Shen Jinshan why he said that. Clearly, that night, Shen Jinshan said that he had led him down a dead end where he was neither a brother nor a lover... Shenmian came to confess with the intention of freeing his brother.

But why is it like this now?

It felt as if an invisible hand was tightly gripping his throat, causing him to breathe heavily and hoarsely, unable to speak, only able to emit fragmented and incoherent gasps.

He looked at Shen Jinshan, the person he relied on, was infatuated with, and even hoped to spend his whole life with, who was now looking at him with the same eyes he would use to look at trash.

"Brother, brother," Chenmian finally struggled, squeezing out broken words from suffocating pain, tears streaming down his face, tasting salty and bitter, "I'm not...it's you...it was that night..."

Shen Jinshan's eyes still held a look of disgust.

Chenmian has completely lost her voice.

All the courage, all the love, all the expectations were utterly crushed into powder at this moment.

He suddenly raised his hand and used all his strength to shake off Shen Jinshan's hand that was pinching his chin. He staggered to his feet, as if a vengeful ghost was chasing him, and stumbled out of the room and out of Shen Jinshan's suite.

He didn't care about anything else—his ID, his coat, even the ring box that he had swept onto the carpet when he got up, which had rolled around a few times and was now lying quietly... He didn't care at all.

Sleep only wants to escape.

He wanted to escape this place that had killed his love, stripped him of his dignity, and torn his very soul to pieces.

A note from the author:

So pitiful, sob sob, this helpless and innocent little boy is about to be picked up...