Chapter 32 [VIP][Author's Note Lock]

Rushing out of the hotel, Chenmian plunged headlong into the endless, cold rain.

The temperature was so low during the December night rain that the moment he rushed into the rain, the icy water drenched him mercilessly.

Chenmian couldn't help but shiver, and rainwater seeped into his eyes. He closed his eyes uncomfortably, feeling his thin clothes clinging to his skin, while raindrops continued to fall.

But he still ran away without hesitation, intending to escape even further.

I don't know how much time passed, how many turns I made, how many strange looks I passed, how many times I refused help from people who asked for it, until I seemed to have left the bustling downtown area centered around the hotel, and gradually the surrounding buildings were no longer so bright and magnificent, and finally I slowed down.

He continued walking aimlessly, rushing out the door in such a panic that he didn't even put on shoes. His feet were cut and scratched by the rough ground and stray stones, leaving tiny but glaring bloodstains mixed with mud and water, making him look utterly disheveled.

Chenmian frowned slightly, then quickly relaxed his brow. He had no time to care about these things right now; he couldn't feel any pain or cold.

The physical discomfort was utterly insignificant compared to the bloody, gaping hole in his heart, ripped open by Shen Jinshan's words.

Tears mingled with the rain, streaming down my face. I couldn't tell if they were physiological tears, tears of heartbreak, or simply raindrops.

The image of Shen Jinshan's eyes, filled with disgust, kept replaying in his mind, along with the cold, sharp words he uttered—disgusting, incestuous, nauseating…

Each word was like a heavy hammer, shattering all the beautiful fantasies he had carefully built up about liking someone and the future.

Chenmian couldn't understand why things had turned out this way. Was it his fault? Had he misunderstood?

He repeatedly questioned himself, recalling every detail of his time with Shen Jinshan.

If you don't like him, why tolerate him in every way? Why stand by him in his struggle with Lin Langli? Why go to the trouble of carrying him down the mountain? And why kiss and touch him?

He was even less impressive than Lin Langli had described that day; he hadn't been played for nothing, he had only suffered humiliation...

My first crush ended so tragically. Despair, shame, sadness, and the pain of heartbreak mixed together, leaving me too weak to think any further. I felt like I was dying of grief.

Just as he was about to give up and his consciousness began to fade, a strong arm suddenly reached out from the side and gripped his arm tightly, with such force that it almost crushed his bones.

Chenmian raised his head blankly. The rain blurred his vision, but he still recognized the face that was tense at this moment, filled with suppressed anger and some deeper emotion—it was Lin Langli.

The umbrella was tilted.

"Are you stupid? It's so cold and rainy, don't you know to go back?"

The familiar voice brought back some of her senses, but when she opened her mouth, her throat was so dry and painful that she couldn't utter a single complete sentence.

Sleeping doesn't even have the strength to struggle or to refute with sharp words as usual.

The immense grief and despair had drained him of all his strength and will, so he didn't care who the person in front of him was, as long as they could get him out of his current predicament.

Even Lin Langli could do it.

Sleeping soundly, wet and helpless, she looked at the person who had suddenly appeared.

Lin Langli's eyes, which always held a hint of mockery and profundity, were now churning with emotions he couldn't understand.

The young man stared intently at Chenmian's pale, bloodless face, and then at her rain-soaked, shivering body and her bare feet, which were already scratched and worn from walking on the dirty ground.

An emotion, a mixture of overwhelming rage and sharp heartache, gripped his mind tightly.

Sleeping, that idiot...

Why hurt yourself like this? Confessing to Shen Jinshan hurts your spirit, and wandering in the rainy night hurts your body.

Lin Langli squeezed his eyes shut, barely managing to suppress the accusation that was about to escape his lips.

He took off his coat and wrapped it around Shen Mian's cold body without saying a word. Then, almost half-carrying and half-dragging, he forcibly carried the dazed Shen Mian away from the cold rain and brought him back to his hotel not far away.

Chenmian obediently, or rather docilely, let Lin Langli do as he pleased. Lin Langli's body was very warm. He was held in the other's arms, his face and upper body covered by the coat, and all he could see was darkness. This brief shelter and warmth made him feel a weak sense of dependence.

In the taxi, Lin Langli didn't put down Shenmian, but instead held her even tighter. The driver glanced at them strangely in the rearview mirror, but Lin Langli didn't care. All his attention was focused on Shenmian.

The sleeping figure in his arms was still trembling, its exposed hands pale and slender. Lin Langli couldn't help but touch it and hold it in his palm. He already knew that the sleeping figure's hands were soft, but they had never been so cold before. Lin Langli tried to transfer warmth to it.

Back in the hotel room, the warm air enveloped her, and she couldn't help but shiver.

Lin Langli pressed him onto the sofa, roughly covered Shenmian with a blanket, and stuffed hot water into Shenmian's hands.

Immediately afterwards, he squatted down, his brows furrowed, his gaze falling on Shen Mian's feet, which were covered in mud and bleeding from wounds.

Lin Langli called the front desk to bring a first-aid kit. He carefully wiped the stains off Chen Mian's feet with a hot towel. His face was still angry and impatient, but his movements unconsciously became gentler.

The cool disinfectant touched the wound, causing a slight stinging sensation. Su Mian flinched for a moment, then remained unresponsive, staring blankly at the hot water in her hand, watching the rising steam from the cup.

After Lin Langli finished treating Chen Mian's foot injury, he looked at the boy in front of him, who was in a daze and at the mercy of others. The nameless fire in his chest burned even more fiercely, but it was also mixed with an indescribable bitterness.

The young man grabbed Chenmian and dragged the boy into the bathroom.

Warm water cascaded down from the showerhead, and a misty steam gradually spread out.

Lin Langli did not leave. Instead, he silently helped Chenmian, who had almost lost the ability to move on her own, to take off her soaked clothes.

He resisted briefly during the incident, but when Lin Langli cruelly sprayed the showerhead at him, he quieted down and became docile again.

After that, he fell into a deep sleep without resistance, not even a trace of shame. He simply stood passively in the bathroom, letting the warm water wash over his cold body.

The misty vapor enveloped the two of them in the small space, and the dim lighting around them made the scene even more ambiguous.

Lin Langli stared intently at Chenmian, noticing that the boy's long eyelashes were covered with fine mist, but he barely blinked, only trembling slightly.

"This wooden look is so annoying, so unpleasant to look at," Lin Langli thought to himself, while his fingertips brushed under the boy's earlobe, carefully cleaning the person in front of him.

Hot water was poured over his face, and Lin Langli gave him a thorough bath while turning him around. Finally, some color returned to Chenmian's pale face.

Lin Langli dried the boy with a bath towel and wrapped him up. He then carried Chenmian to the edge of the bed and sat him down. He silently blew on Chenmian's hair, his fingers playing with the boy's dark hair.

The noise of the hairdryer seemed to wake Shenmian up a bit. Shenmian tried to think about Lin Langli's motives for appearing by his side and bringing him back, but he couldn't concentrate at all. As soon as he thought about it, he would recall Shen Jinshan's face and those words.

Tears fell again, dripping onto the soft bathrobe.

Before he could cry for even two seconds, a hand suddenly fell from above, and then the man's fingertips brushed against the corner of his eye, wiping away the dormant tears with Lin Langli's rough, dry hand.

Chenmian looked up blankly, and his eyes met Lin Langli's gaze.

Lin Langli's gaze towards him was no longer filled with disgust as it had at the beginning, nor was it as aggressive as it had become later; instead, it became extremely complex.

It contained long-suppressed desires, an intensely possessive nature, and a dormant, almost painful struggle never before seen.

Chen Mian was stunned for a moment, shocked by the gaze, but when he looked up again, Lin Langli had returned to his usual appearance, and it all seemed to be just his illusion.

Watching Shenmian lower her head and let him blow-dry her hair, Lin Langli's gaze, as if it were tangible, swept inch by inch over Shenmian's cheeks, which were flushed from the hot water, and her moist eyelashes.

Finally, almost greedily, the focus lingered on the boy's lips, which were unusually rosy and slightly parted from a hot shower.

This mouth, which had once uttered words that annoyed him and had once raised a defiant arc towards him, was now unknowingly slightly open, as if making a silent invitation, or as if breathing in despair.

Lin Langli sensed the sorrow of the slumbering being.

Unaware of what others were thinking, he only remembered their last argument and the words Lin Langli had said to him.

Lin Langli liked him, or rather, liked his body and his face, so he repeatedly tolerated his offenses and mistakes.

A wicked thought, like a devil's temptation, seized his already fragile heart the moment it appeared.

Didn't Shen Jinshan say he liked disgusting things? Didn't he say his mind was filthy?

They were so cold and harsh towards him.

Well then, someone will always be willing to give it a try.

...He wanted to use this self-destructive method to retaliate against the person who trampled on his dignity and to fight back against the so-called liking that had been reduced to nothing.

A desperate courage of giving up, mixed with the dizziness from just taking a shower, drove him to think about the idea more deeply.

Lin Langli's hair gradually dried. He fiddled with it a couple of times and, finding it no longer damp, put the hairdryer down, coiled the cord, and returned it to its original place.

When he returned to the bedside, Lin Langli suddenly brought a glass of water and a few pills, and handed them to the person on the bed.

Chenmian looked up at him.

Lin Langli's expression was indifferent: "You might get sick. Take your medicine first."

After feeding Chenmian her medicine and taking a shower, Lin Langli turned off the lights and went to bed.

The hotel bed was two meters wide. Lin Langli slept on the outer side, his heart pounding anxiously. He found it hard to accept the fact that he was now sharing a bed with Shen Mian, as if it were a bubble of fantasy.

Lin Langli tentatively reached his arm inside, and not far away, he touched the warm body of the sleeping man.

After hesitating for a moment, Lin Langli took Chenmian's hand.

He still had a semblance of conscience, and he could see that Chenmian was in a daze. Even though he cursed Chenmian as stupid and wicked in his heart, he did not say anything harsh to him.

It was too quiet. It was still early, not yet his usual bedtime. Lin Langli tried to break the unsettling silence by making small talk: "You still have two days of school leave. You should focus on preparing for your final exams when you get back."

Chenmian gave a soft "hmm," followed by a long silence.

Lin Langli was somewhat at a loss. He was actually quite good at taking care of people, after all, before going to university, he needed to take care of his paralyzed grandmother and his sick mother.

Taking care of a sleepy person is no problem, but he not only wants the sleepy person to be healthy, he also wants the sleepy person to be happier.

In the darkness, Lin Langli turned to the side and stared at the face beside him.

When Shenmian doesn't say anything unpleasant and stays quiet, she really looks like a cute little angel. Looking at her so well-behaved, Lin Langli strangely felt a little like touching Shenmian's face to cheer her up.

Despite the filthy and vulgar words he had previously uttered to threaten Chenmian, Lin Langli now felt no inappropriate thoughts even though they were so close, their bodies touching.

He harbored resentment towards Shen Mian, resenting her for treating him so badly and for liking Shen Jinshan.

Lin Langli certainly didn't approve of Shen Mian's feelings for Shen Jinshan, but when the other party suffered a setback and wandered aimlessly in the rainy night, Lin Langli shamefully felt a pang of heartache.

He's a bit of a jerk.

Chenmian blinked gently, as if he had finally made up his mind. He turned his head and looked at Lin Langli, who had been watching him intently in the night.

Their eyes met. When Chenmian looked at him with such gentle and obedient eyes, Lin Langli almost couldn't help but raise his hand to get closer, when the person beside him suddenly moved.

The young man raised his soft arm, turned to the side, and gently placed it on Lin Langli's neck.

Lin Langli froze, his body tense, staring incredulously at the slumber so close to him.

Meeting his shocked gaze, Chenmian slowly curved her lips into a slight smile.

But there was no love or sweet desire in his smile; only boundless despair and a near-cruel self-destruction.

Lin Langli saw through Chen Mian's thoughts.

Then, amidst the torrential rain outside the window, Chenmian leaned closer, closed her eyes, and pressed her lips against Lin Langli's lips, which were always tightly pursed and appeared cold and sharp.

This was a kiss that carried the lingering chill of consciousness and the burning heat of the body.

For the first time, Chenmian took the initiative to kiss someone; her movements were awkward and clumsy, yet resolute.

It gently landed on the man's lips, but Lin Langli did not respond. Chenmian thought about it with distress for a moment, then her lips slid down and she lowered her head to lick and kiss the young man's Adam's apple. Lin Langli's Adam's apple was rolling rapidly, and Chenmian gently rubbed and held it in her mouth with her teeth and tongue.

His relentless efforts to please Lin Langli did not elicit a kiss in return as before; instead, Lin Langli turned his face away and pushed him away.

Lin Langli sat up, turned off the last nightlight by the bed, and touched the person in the quilt beside him. He felt the young man's fingertips touch the corner of his lips.

Then he said, "Sleep, don't do this, don't do this to yourself."

A note from the author:

[Lock]

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