Chapter 93 If I weren't Shen Qingming, would you still...?

Inside the cave, the firelight flickered as Sheng Zhiyi carefully poured the boiling medicine into a small bowl.

After a day of gathering medicinal herbs, she finally managed to brew this small bowl of medicine. The almost black soup inside swayed slightly as she carefully held the rim of the bowl, afraid of spilling a single drop.

Sheng Zhiyi brought the bowl to Shen Qingming's side, intending to hand it to him and let him drink it himself.

Seeing him leaning against the stone wall, pale-faced and with his eyes half-closed, I finally softened.

She was also frightened by Ji Fuguang and became somewhat easily startled. In fact, there was nothing wrong with fellow cultivators taking care of each other.

“Come on, let me feed you,” Sheng Zhiyi said softly.

She raised her arm, a spoonful of warm liquid, and fed it to Shen Qingming's lips, spoonful by spoonful.

"Then... thank you very much." Shen Qingming lifted his eyelids and looked at her.

The two were quite close, and they could see themselves reflected in each other's eyes.

Shen Qingming seemed a little uncomfortable and immediately lowered his eyes, no longer looking at Sheng Zhiyi.

Seeing this, Sheng Zhiyi found it somewhat amusing, and felt a weight lifted from her heart.

Sheng Zhiyi fed him spoonful by spoonful. After a while, her arms could no longer support her and began to tremble slightly.

"Are you injured?" Shen Qingming asked immediately.

He reached out, instinctively wanting to grasp Sheng Zhiyi's arm.

As she raised her hand, Sheng Zhiyi's sleeve slipped slightly, revealing the scars on her arm.

“Yes, the places where this Green Lotus Grass grows are often inhabited by demonic beasts. You’ve gathered so much Green Lotus Grass today… why take such a risk…”

Shen Qingming frowned, his expression filled with worry and anxiety. Due to his emotional state, the demonic energy within him began to surge, impacting his already damaged demonic bones and causing another kind of hidden pain.

He gritted his teeth, controlling the expression on his face, afraid of revealing his complex emotions.

"It's just some superficial injuries. I'm back perfectly fine, aren't I?" Sheng Zhiyi laughed instead. She tapped the bowl with a spoon, making a crisp clanging sound. "Come on, drink your medicine quickly."

“But…” Shen Qingming couldn’t help but speak.

"You saved my life. No amount of gratitude is too much to repay. Don't overthink it, Shen Qingming."

The scalding medicine slid down my throat and into my stomach, bringing not warmth, but a burning pain.

When did he ever need to rely on others so weakly? What's even more ridiculous is that he doesn't even dare to reveal his true identity.

She could never repay the debt of saving her life, but what about all the humiliation he had inflicted on her before...?

Will she forget?

"It must be very bitter, right?" Sheng Zhiyi noticed his brow furrow almost imperceptibly, and quickly took out a few wild fruits, eating one to ease the discomfort.

He looked at the few bright red fruits in her palm, then at her concerned eyes, and was somewhat surprised by her thoughtfulness, which brought him a sense of warmth.

He gave a soft "hmm" and reached out to take it. His fingertips inevitably touched her palm, and that warmth felt like a branding iron burning his fingers.

He put the fruit in his mouth, and the sweet juice burst in his mouth. He said, "It's very sweet."

Sheng Zhiyi was somewhat relieved and smiled. "I remember you said before that you love sweets the most and often sneak snacks from your family's small kitchen."

...

He stopped chewing.

Shen Qingming...

It turns out that her thoughtfulness and consideration were all for Shen Qingming.

The sweet taste in my mouth suddenly turned as bitter as rot.

As night fell, the wind outside the cave whistled through the trees. The campfire cast the two men's shadows, flickering erratically, onto the rock face.

Sheng Zhiyi added a few more pieces of firewood, sat by the fire with her knees drawn up to her chest, her gaze somewhat unfocused.

"Shen Qingming," she suddenly spoke, her voice very soft, as if afraid of disturbing the tranquility of the night, "when you feel better, let's leave Qibao Mountain and find a safer place."

Ji Fuguang's heart skipped a beat, but his face remained impassive. "Alright. What...are you planning to do?"

"Plans?" Sheng Zhiyi tugged at the corners of her mouth, revealing a bitter smile tinged with weariness and confusion. "I don't know either. Tianyan Sect... I definitely can't go back. Perhaps, I'll find a remote town, hide my identity, and become a rogue cultivator."

She paused, her voice lower, "As long as I can completely leave behind all that trouble and chaos, leave... the demon race, anything is fine."

The words "Demon Clan" were like two cold needles, piercing Ji Fuguang's heart unexpectedly, bringing sharp pain. His hands in his sleeves clenched tightly.

"You...hate the demon race?" He heard his own voice asking, with a probing tone that even he himself loathed.

Sheng Zhiyi remained silent for a moment, the campfire dancing in her clear eyes.

“Hate?” she repeated, then shook her head, her tone a mixture of weariness and clarity after enduring hardship. “I wouldn’t say hate, it’s more like… fear, and a desire to stay away, especially… that Demon Lord.”

When the "Demon Lord" was mentioned, her body twitched almost imperceptibly, a primal fear arising from her actions.

“He is very strong, and also terrifying... He never cares whether others are willing or not when he does things…” She seemed to be confiding in Shen Qingming, but also seemed to be talking to herself.

The pain was too heavy, and talking about it seemed to ease some of the burden on my heart.

"He would casually torment you in every way possible, simply because he thought it would make you more obedient, like training a pet with a whip... After punishing you, he would reward you without a second thought, never considering that what he considered a gift might be an unbearable burden and...torture for someone else..."

Sheng Zhiyi instinctively hugged herself, feeling a chill even by the campfire.

Suddenly, something warm was draped over her. She turned her head and saw Shen Qingming draping a cloak over her shoulders. In the firelight, his jaw was clenched, and the muscles on his face hardened.

"It's all in the past." Sheng Zhiyi patted his arm to comfort him, then smiled and said, "You can't even handle this? Then I won't say anything more."

“…It’s alright, please continue.” Shen Qingming sat back down, leaning against the stone wall, half of his face hidden in the shadows. His voice was low, as if he were forcing it out, “I want to hear it.”

Sheng Zhiyi sighed and continued, "The scariest thing is..."

She paused for a moment, suppressing the surging emotions in her chest, before saying, "His essence is that of a clay figure; he has no feelings..."

“Those smiles, the subtle care, the concessions and pampering... they were all a facade, all fake.”

"No matter how much emotion you invest in him, it's all just an act to him. He won't believe you; he'll only try to keep you under his control."

"He had no love, only control."

Looking at the burning campfire, Sheng Zhiyi said softly, "Right now, I just want to stay far away from him, the farther the better, and never have anything to do with him again in this lifetime."

Every word was like a dagger chilled to ice, precisely stabbing the most vulnerable spot in Ji Fuguang's heart.

He felt as if all the air had been sucked out of his chest, a suffocating pain spreading through him. He forced himself to maintain the proper reaction of "Shen Qingming," putting on an expression of slight sympathy and understanding, even trying to tug at the corners of his lips upwards, but the expression looked somewhat strange and ridiculous on his face.

He muttered in agreement, "Yes, leaving... was the right thing to do."

The moment he uttered those words, he tasted the metallic taste of blood rising in his throat.

"By the way, how did you end up in Qiyun City?" Sheng Zhiyi reached out and fiddled with the firewood under the campfire, asking hesitantly, "I've noticed a change in your temperament lately. Did you have a conflict with your father?"

In her memory, Shen Qingming had always been a lively and even somewhat naive person. Could it be that he had also undergone such a drastic change in this parallel universe?

“I…” Shen Qingming opened his mouth softly.

He instantly came up with a perfect explanation: the rebellious teenager was forced by his old-fashioned father to leave home in anger, but... should he still lie to her?

If she finds out later, will she hate him even more?

Just then, a sharp wolf howl came from outside the cave, followed by a chorus of cheers that quickly grew louder and louder, filled with bloodthirsty excitement.

"It's a pack of wolves that smelled blood!" Sheng Zhiyi's expression changed, and she suddenly stood up. The Jinghongyu sword instantly appeared in her hand, its blade radiating a clear, spiritual light.

Without hesitation, she stepped forward, firmly shielding Shen Qingming behind her. Her slender figure, illuminated by the flickering firelight, exuded a resolute determination.

Ji Fuguang's pupils contracted sharply as he looked at her back, which was blocking his way.

From childhood to adulthood, he has always faced all kinds of crises and dangers alone. It's already considered good if others don't push him out. No one is ever willing to stand in front of him and protect him with their own body.

The shock of that moment stunted his senses. He stared at Sheng Zhiyi's retreating figure. After running around and gathering herbs, her simple clothes were already stained with mud, the hem of her skirt torn from bandaging him, and her hair was disheveled...

But her figure standing in front of him was so resolute.

Several large, green-eyed wolves roared as they charged into the cave, drool dripping from between their fangs.

Sheng Zhiyi's sword flashed like a rainbow as she charged forward. Her swordsmanship was agile and swift, carrying a ruthless, all-or-nothing spirit; clearly, she was giving it her all to protect the person behind her.

Ji Fuguang leaned against the stone wall, his fingernails digging deep into his palms, piercing his skin and drawing blood. Yet he felt no pain; his entire focus was on the figure darting and dodging among the wolves.

Watching her narrowly dodge a claw attack, his heart almost stopped. Only when he saw her slash through the wolf's throat with her sword did his tense nerves relax slightly.

This feeling of having one's safety and even emotions completely in the hands of others was an unprecedented torment for him. For the first time, he clearly understood what "powerlessness" and "fear of loss" meant.

Anxiety, anger, helplessness... a torrent of emotions surged within him like magma, threatening to overwhelm his reason. He wanted to stand up, to crush these ignorant beasts to pieces.

But he couldn't.

The weakness caused by the demonic bone leaving his body was real, and he couldn't bear the consequences of forcibly revealing his strength. He could only watch helplessly as she taut her shoulders and the tip of her sword trembled slightly from exhaustion.

Finally, the last demon wolf collapsed to the ground with a mournful howl.

Sheng Zhiyi leaned on her sword, slightly out of breath, her bangs sticking to her cheeks with sweat, and a few shallow cuts on her arms. She turned to Shen Qingming, forcing a reassuring smile: "It's alright, it's all taken care of."

At that moment, looking into her bright eyes despite their scars, something inside Ji Fuguang collapsed.

He craved her unconditional protection at that moment, even though that protection was meant for Shen Qingming.

As she turned to check the formation at the cave entrance, he lost control and reached out to grab her wrist.

Sheng Zhiyi turned around in surprise.

His fingers were icy cold and trembling slightly. He looked up at her, and in the flickering light of the campfire, her pale face, which belonged to Shen Qingming, held a complex and profound gaze, much like that of Ji Fuguang herself.

Struggle, pain, longing, and even a hint of pleading... all sorts of emotions clashed fiercely in those dark eyes.

"You..." He opened his mouth, his voice terribly hoarse, the question that had lingered in his mind countless times almost bursting out—

If I weren't Shen Qingming, if I were the person who terrifies you and makes you want to stay away, would you still... treat me like this?