Chapter 144 Pure things are always thin and fragile, not lasting enough.

Yunzhi sometimes wonders why someone was born into this world.

The birth of the vast majority of people is likely very close to being a matter of chance.

—Born by chance, survived by chance, and died amidst countless possible coincidences.

That is why people are so eager to find the meaning of life.

This serves to mask the primal fear and helplessness one feels when facing the impermanence of fate.

Just like an infant clenching its mother's fingers with its tiny fist, the intense desire to grasp something is enough to suspend itself in mid-air.

Yun Zhi had never experienced such a moment.

From the time he could remember, there always seemed to be an invisible barrier between him and the people and things around him.

The sky, white clouds, earth, sunshine, streams... and the people and animals that live within them.

Yunzhi gazed at everything he could see through the window.

He could sense and understand their existence, but he could not empathize with why they existed.

This applies not only to the world around them, but also to Yun Zhi himself.

"What are you thinking about now, Zhi?"

A clear and melodious girl's voice rang out beside me.

When Yun Zhi turned around, he saw the face of his elder sister, Yun Yao.

Whenever Yun Zhi saw that face, he couldn't help but feel a strange sense of unease.

I can't explain why, but it always lingers in my heart and I can't shake it off.

Everyone who has seen them thinks the brother and sister look remarkably alike.

Even if you only look at their facial features, their faces look like they were carved from the same mold.

However, unlike Yun Zhi, Yun Yao seems to be able to integrate into this world very well.

Naturally, without any extra effort.

This puzzled Yun Zhi, and even occasionally a feeling similar to jealousy would arise in him, but even this feeling of jealousy would quickly wither and die like a rootless weed.

All that's left is a blank space.

—No, more accurately, it's emptiness.

Yun Zhi often felt a huge emptiness inside his body.

It's as if all the internal organs don't exist.

Only this outer shell called Yunzhi contained an empty interior.

It's like... a hollow doll.

Yun Yao had such a doll, which was made by the clan leader himself.

The clan chief was the father of the two siblings.

Yun Yao would smile every time she saw the clan leader, and would affectionately stretch out her arms, tilt her little face up, and sweetly call him "Father."

The clan chief would then pull his eldest daughter into his arms, lift her high, and press her face against his cheek, using his short stubble to make the girl giggle.

Often, it wasn't until Yun Yao had finished laughing and making a fuss that the clan leader would remember that he seemed to have another son.

Looking around, one could indeed see a small figure standing quietly to the side, silently watching the affectionate father and daughter, without uttering a word.

At this point, the clan chief would casually call out the boy's name.

"Yun Zhi is here too. Isn't Yun Zhi coming to Father's place?"

The clan chief smiled, seemingly without a flaw. Yun Zhi, however, immediately saw through the stiffness and perfunctoriness in that smile, and even a hint of probing.

Only when he saw Yun Zhi shake his head did the clan leader seem to breathe a slight sigh of relief.

—What is this person on guard against?

Yun Zhi didn't know.

However, with Yun Yao as a control group, Yun Zhi can be fairly certain that this state is not right.

Even if we take a step back and assume that a father doesn't truly love his child, he might show disgust or impatience, but he should never adopt this kind of attitude that is deliberately ingratiating while mixed with fear.

Yun Zhi wasn't particularly sad; he was just a little confused.

To the clan leader, to oneself...

"I'm wondering when all this will end."

Yun Zhi answered Yun Yao's question truthfully, which elicited a surprised exclamation from the latter: "Ah? A-Zhi, how could you think that?"

—How strange?

Why can't we think that way?

"Did someone bully you? Or is there something else bothering you?"

Like a little adult, Yun Yao placed her hand on Yun Zhi's shoulder and stared into his eyes nervously, asking, "Tell your sister."

"No."

"Really? Why would you think that?"

Seeing that Yun Zhi didn't seem to be lying, Yun Yao felt relieved, but couldn't help feeling strange.

Yun Yao is a little girl who rarely has worries.

In her view, nothing is unsolvable.

As long as she speaks up, her father and other members of the clan will take the initiative to solve her problems.

Everything happened so naturally.

The only thing that might occasionally make her feel awkward is her younger brother, Yunzhi.

Because Yun Zhi was not close to her, nor was he willing to share his thoughts with her.

Although she didn't want to admit it, Yun Yao thought that Yun Zhi was indeed somewhat strange.

But what can you do when the other person is her younger brother?

As the older sister, she naturally had to be more accommodating.

Gradually, even though Yun Zhi rarely went out, everyone in the clan came to know that Yun Yao was a considerate and responsible older sister who took great care of her eccentric and withdrawn twin brother.

Yun Yao gladly accepted the praise, because it was the truth and there was nothing to refute.

Although Yun Zhi's condition did not improve significantly under this meticulous care, Yun Yao had somehow gotten used to this kind of life.

After all, she is a kind little girl, so how could she be discouraged by such a small setback?

Things took a turn for the better that year.

One of the twins had to be chosen to enter the ancestral hall as a guard. The ancestral hall was not a place that could be easily entered or left, and as the guard of the ancestral hall, one would completely lose one's freedom and could only stay in that dark and sunless little room all day long.

Even Yun Yao was a little scared now.

She loves this world and every member of her tribe she knows.

How could they bear to be deprived of their freedom and imprisoned in such a terrible place?

So, Yun Yao cheated.

On the slips of paper used for drawing lots.

It wasn't a particularly clever trick, but it was enough to rescue her from that constant fear and anxiety.

And she did succeed.

Although a small mishap occurred—she almost thought her father had discovered her little trick.

Fortunately, in the end, it was a close call.

Yun Yao watched Yun Zhi enter the small room connected to the ancestral hall.

Just before the door slowly closed, she seemed to see the child turn around and glance at her.

A cryptic smile seemed to suddenly appear on that usually expressionless face.

But before she could see it clearly, the door slammed shut.

Yun Yao waited anxiously for several days, and for the first time, she suffered from insomnia.

If you close your eyes, all you see is Yun Zhi's mocking smile.

That smile was like a sharp knife, shattering the facade of peace that had been maintained in the past.

Yun Yao was not as innocent and kind as those people thought, nor was she even as competent and good as she believed herself to be.

After struggling for several days, Yun Yao finally managed to sneak in through the small door used for food delivery.

To Yun Yao's surprise, she was not met with Yun Zhi's cold indifference.

Yun Zhi seems to be the same Yun Zhi as before.

Silent and expressionless.

But something seems different.

Oh right... it's my older sister. Yun Zhi actually called Yun Yao "older sister" for the first time ever.

Not only was Yunzhi unharmed, but he even seemed more humane than before.

Yun Yao suddenly felt relieved.

Yes, Yunzhi has never liked going out.

—Perhaps, Ah Zhi is more suited to this peaceful life without being disturbed than his previous life.

If he were chosen that day, Yun Zhi, who would stay at home as the clan leader's only son, would inevitably be exposed to everyone's attention.

Wouldn't that go against Yun Zhi's nature?

By doing that, I might have unintentionally killed two birds with one stone.

The more Yun Yao thought about it, the more she realized it made sense, and her gaze towards Yun Zhi returned to its former gentleness.

From that day on, Yun Yao seemed to have transformed back into the caring older sister who looked after Yun Zhi with utmost devotion.

The difference is that she almost never mentions Yun Zhi in the dark room in front of others anymore.

But this is not surprising, because their father did the same thing.

This almost became an unspoken understanding between the father and daughter.

And then, as dusk fell.

The daytime scenery is entirely bathed in an ambiguous, warm yellow light.

Yun Yao would then bring fresh flowers picked during the day and snacks from the kitchen to visit Yun Zhi.

Every time I push open that door wrapped in chains, I can feel a faint chill seeping out from it.

Yun Yao would involuntarily shiver twice on the spot.

It was as if I had unintentionally stepped into another side of the world, a world different from the earthly world filled with laughter and sunshine.

It was quiet, cold, and so monotonous that it was tedious... but Yunzhi blended in perfectly.

Sometimes, when Yun Yao looked at Yun Zhi, who was standing silently to the side, an absurd thought would suddenly pop into her mind.

Yun Zhi was born to belong to this place.

Unlike himself, an outsider, Yun Zhi was like a plant that couldn't stand the light, growing from a corner of this dark room.

But reason tells Yun Yao that the person in front of her is clearly her own brother, born of the same mother.

Yun Yao tried her best to suppress the restless unease in her heart.

They continued to laugh and chat as if nothing had happened, and then hurriedly said goodbye before nightfall.

Each time Yun Yao left that locked little door far behind her, she felt an indescribable sense of lightness and relaxation.

It's as if some unspeakable darkness within my heart has been locked away in that room.

Yes, Yun Yao felt more and more that Yun Zhi was like a mirror.

It reflects too clearly the self that is hidden behind the bright facade.

Especially... they look so alike that it's almost uncanny even as twins.

Yun Yao was afraid to see Yun Zhi, but even more afraid to not see him.

Perhaps it was a desire to keep one's inner fears hidden, ensuring that the other party wouldn't suddenly emerge from the darkness and attack without warning...

Thus, there was Yun Yao facing everyone during the day, Yun Yao facing Yun Zhi in the evening, and Yun Yao who embraced her own fears and couldn't sleep all night...

It's like being cut into three different parts.

They are mutually exclusive, yet closely intertwined.

This tension festered in Yun Yao's nerves, which grew increasingly strained day by day.

It was around that time that the young man named Yu Qingzhou appeared.

A refined and handsome young man carrying a long sword on his back, bringing with him fresh air from the outside world.

—It also brought new hope.

Yun Yao suddenly realized how to escape her current predicament.

That is to have Yu Qingzhou take me away.

Yun Yao was confident that the young man would not refuse her request.

After all, she was so pitiful yet innocent and beautiful.

She didn't believe that Yu Qingzhou would remain unmoved.

However, Yun Yao miscalculated.

Yu Qingzhou refused the girl's request. Her words were tactful yet left no room for negotiation, carrying an almost cruel tenderness.

Why……

Yun Yao was completely baffled.

Why does the infallible power of pure beauty fail when it comes to Yu Qingzhou?

After experiencing her first failure, Yun Yao quickly rallied.

Does she like Yu Qingzhou?

The girl naturally experienced beautiful and innocent romance, but the other party's overly decisive rejection mixed this pure love with a vague resentment of wanting to get back at them.

When building earthen walls, mud, sand, and vegetation are always added to better stabilize the walls.

Because pure things are always fragile and not lasting enough.

Love is the same.

Yun Yao thought that as long as she was willing to work hard, Yu Qingzhou would definitely be moved and change his mind, agreeing to take her away.

She did indeed work hard for this, even betraying her most beloved father. She switched identities with Yun Zhi and stayed in the dark room she hated most, stealing secret treasures for Yu Qingzhou.

But it was on that very night that Yun Yao discovered the portrait of Yu Qingzhou that Yun Zhi had hidden.

Feeling vaguely deceived, she hurriedly ran out of the dark room to look for Yun Zhi, only to witness Yu Qingzhou giving Yun Zhi the jade pendant.

The taut string in Yun Yao's body finally snapped.

I see……

So that's how it is...

Yun Yao felt angry and humiliated.

She was shocked and furious at the intimacy between the two, and even more bewildered that Yu Qingzhou had chosen Yun Zhi over herself.

This is unprecedented in the past decade or so.

Someone actually abandoned her for Yun Zhi, and she, Yun Yao, became the one who was abandoned.

—It's nothing more than a shadow that can't stand the light of day.

The fingernails were deeply embedded in the palm.

By the time they came to their senses, the knife was already embedded in the other person's chest.

Yun Yao saw herself in the other person's eyes: her face stained with blood, overflowing with almost insane ecstasy.

She finally did it...

At the same moment, she suddenly realized that she had always hated Yun Zhi.

How could this taciturn boy, who seemed like a monster, live so carefree?

She felt disgusted by the innocent yet fearless look in her eyes as she watched herself struggle to live.

If you really don't care about anything, why did you accept Yu Qingzhou's things? Why did you lie to yourself? Why... do you still want to live?

Yun Yao slowly turned the dagger, watching the boy collapse from pain and exhaustion.

I felt a surge of pleasure as if my wish had been fulfilled.

When she was very young, one night she woke up thirsty and got up to find some water. As she passed through the living room, she overheard the adults whispering to each other.

At that time, Yun Yao was still young and sleepy.

So I only half-listened to it briefly, didn't pay much attention, and went back to bed to sleep.

Looking back the next day, I only felt it was a somewhat real dream and didn't pay much attention to it.

However, at the moment of killing Yun Zhi, distant memories suddenly broke through the fog and came crashing down unexpectedly.

I remember now, back then, the words my father said in a low voice were clearly—

"But I only have one daughter, Ayao..."