Chapter 198 Chaos

"Long time no see, my younger self—"

The young man smiled and greeted him casually.

It was only then that Pipa realized why the voice she had heard earlier sounded so familiar—because it was the voice of him in his youth, or Yu Qingzhou.

However, I had only heard it in my dreams before, and it was never as clear as it is now.

Despite the other party introducing themselves right away, Pipa's doubts only grew stronger.

It wasn't that she doubted the other person's identity... It might sound unbelievable, but Pipa did feel an inexplicable closeness and familiarity with the other person, even more so than when she was with Yu Qingzhou.

Pipa accepted the fact that he and the young man in front of him were actually the same person almost without resistance.

But this creates even more problems...

His relationship with Yu Qingzhou is almost undoubtedly one of reincarnation.

The loquat is the present life of Yu Qingzhou, and Yu Qingzhou is the past life of the loquat.

There doesn't seem to be any interval in between.

Thus, the origins of the person before them became even more puzzling.

Since the loquat is still alive, the young man is unlikely to be his reincarnation.

Adding to that, the other person's comment—"my younger self"—seemed to carry a tone of someone who had been there before...

Looking ahead in this way, Pipa came up with the most likely answer.

Could this person be Yu Qingzhou's past life, or even his own past life?

Thinking this, Pipa asked the question aloud.

The young man nodded and thought for a moment, then gave partial approval: "It's not bad to think that way for now."

For some reason, Pipa always felt that whether it was the way the other person looked at her or the tone of their voice, it was as if she were an elder taking care of a younger person.

This made Pipa feel somewhat awkward. Putting aside the years Yu Qingzhou lived in her previous life, she was already a teenager in reality.

Yet, he was being looked at like a child by someone who, at least outwardly, didn't look much older than him and even had almost the same face...

Among the people Pipa knew, there was one who also liked to look at him with similar eyes, and that was Lan.

Lan looked at him as if he were a young brother. But she didn't look at this person as if he were a descendant from a distant generation.

"I'm sorry, did my gaze make you uncomfortable?" the young man suddenly apologized, still in that calm tone.

His tone was remarkably approachable.

However, this did not change the previous impression of loquat.

The reason why someone would describe another person's speech as approachable is largely due to a presupposition—that the other person is superior to oneself.

It is precisely this feeling of being looked down upon that creates the illusion that the two are on equal footing when the other party tries to erase this inequality through language.

That is, being approachable.

The loquat clearly sensed the significant difference between them.

If Pipa had occasionally felt a little envious or longing when facing Yu Qingzhou before, he couldn't even feel the slightest sense of comparison when facing this person.

On the one hand, from the very first moment she met this person, Pipa had subconsciously placed herself in the lowest position, not out of shame or self-deprecation, but because she was simply incomparable—

Just as humans cannot compare a color to a sound, neither is it possible nor necessary.

On the other hand, there is an instinctive closeness and attachment, as if they were originally an inseparable whole.

They share the same roots and are inseparable.

These two seemingly contradictory emotions coexist in Pipa's heart in an unusually harmonious way.

Pipa couldn't feel any resistance or doubt towards the young man in front of her... even though his words and attitude, as well as his appearance itself, were somewhat obviously abrupt.

He recalled what the young man had said earlier, that the truth he sought was hidden within. And all Pipa had to do was—watch.

"What exactly do you want me to see?" Pipa couldn't help but ask.

As he spoke, he realized that at some point, only the two of them remained in the room—if one could even consider the other as a person.

Yu Qingzhou had already left with Shen Yun.

He thought he would be like a kite with a string, passively following Yu Qingzhou's movements, just like in his dream.

At the very least, you should have noticed when the other party left.

—But it didn't happen.

From the moment she started speaking, Pipa's entire attention was drawn to the young man in front of her.

The latter seemed completely unsurprised, not even glancing at the empty room, and calmly stated, "You've already seen it, haven't you?"

"I saw it..."

Pipa looked confused for a moment, and the young man's tone was as if he were mentioning a secret that they both knew about.

But what did he see?

A chaotic and skewed past, with the same thing repeating itself over and over again.

"Although the processes of deriving the conclusions may differ, the answer remains the same." The young man continued to speak eloquently, and his manner reminded Pipa of Lan once again.

I recalled the story Lan had told me about Yu Qingzhou and her twin siblings.

In the original version, he saw a girl who was deeply in love but could not be with him, a romance that ended without fruition, and a theft that was repaid with ingratitude.

In that story, the older sister is innocent and kind. Even though she was initially treated coldly, she persevered in visiting and taking care of her younger brother who lived alone in a dark room.

Day after day, until the younger brother was gradually moved by the other's persistence and sincerity, and began to open his heart to the latter.

Up to this point, it was still a heartwarming and healing story, but the arrival of an outsider ruined everything.

The older sister fell in love with the outsider and even stole a secret treasure to help her beloved solve his problems.

The younger brother, having lost the attention he was receiving, harbored resentment towards the outsider.

Pipa's focus at the time was entirely on Yu Qingzhou, and she didn't care much about the content itself.

As time went on, Lan would only tell the same story in each of her dreams. After hearing it many times, Pipa gradually began to pay attention.

He discovered that the same story, when told repeatedly, constantly produced subtle deviations and changes.

At first, Pipa thought it might simply be because Lan had a bad memory.

After all, although the other person always maintained a youthful appearance, Lan hadn't changed since they first met. Furthermore, Lan seemed to know Li Nian, who had long since died…

So if he were still alive, he would at least be a white-haired old man.

As people get older, their memory naturally deteriorates, especially since Lan seems to be trapped inside the house and unable to get out... even though it is indeed Lan's territory.

But from an outsider's perspective, it's really no different from being locked in a dark room.

Imagine putting yourself in their shoes—

Their freedom was restricted, and they lived in solitude in the same space and time, with almost no opportunity to interact or talk with others.

If she were really in that situation, Pipa felt she would go crazy, and might even commit suicide... But Lan never seemed to have any complaints.

They can even patiently and gently offer appropriate comfort and companionship when the loquat confides her confusion and anxiety.

Sometimes Pipa felt that Lan's situation was similar to that of the younger brother in the twins.

—And what about yourself?

While it's said to be the reincarnation of Yu Qingzhou, it seems to be closer to the role of the older sister.

However, it would be inaccurate to simply call her the older sister, because the older sister in the story clearly plays the role of setting the mood and dispelling the gloom.

In reality, between loquat and orchid, loquat is the one who is more likely to be comforted and helped.

If I had to point out a similarity between myself and Master Yu, it would probably be that we were both intruders... only I wasn't as annoying.

When exactly did this story begin to change?

The older sister's kindness towards her younger brother was never, as Pipa thought, purely out of sibling affection or heartfelt sympathy for his difficult situation.

There was no such thing as siblings from the very beginning.

There is only a group of people who, for their own selfish desires, imprisoned a soul.

Torture, formations...

The latter is enshrined in the ancestral hall as a so-called secret treasure, used for one's own purposes life after life, concealed and deceived by human emotions, and then ruthlessly destroyed the moment the other party might discover the truth.

That night, Yu Qingzhou bid farewell to her younger brother, who was pretending to be her older sister.

On the same night, out of jealousy, the older sister killed her younger brother who had obtained the jade pendant from Yu Qingzhou.

The deceased younger brother rediscovered his true identity and, through his sister, took revenge on those who had imprisoned him for countless years, setting fire to the ancestral hall that had confined him...

The orange-red fire snake coiled and rolled, engulfing the entire ancestral hall in one gulp.

The Yun clan chief and the other clan members who rushed over stared in shock at the place that was enveloped in flames and could not be approached.

Looking at the slender figure standing in front of me.

That was Yun Yao, who had been claiming illness and hadn't appeared in public for a long time.

As if hearing a sound behind her, the girl slowly turned to face the crowd. The firelight fell on her pale face, spreading a strange, feverish rose color...

Lan's voice quietly rang in my ears.

In that instant, it seemed as if a blazing fire lit up in front of Pipa's eyes, but the background was not the twilight shrouding the night.

Rather... it was on the eve of a thunderous downpour.

The black clouds pressed down like cotton wool soaked in ink.

With its only remaining eye, Pipa gazed at the distant horizon, and with its ear filled with thick blood clots, listened to the faint rumble of thunder that resonated in its heart like the sound of drums.

Just as he was about to fall into darkness due to blood loss and pain, a bolt of lightning struck the sky, splitting a bright white light in the dim world.

It also shone into the child's bloodshot eyes.

That was the first time Pipa had ever seen lightning strike like that.

Streaks of purple lightning snaked through the air like centipedes, all striking in the same direction.

In a hazy state, Pipa seemed to hear chaotic shouts coming from the direction where the lightning struck.

Pipa wasn't sure if it was just a beautiful hallucination she was having as she approached death. Because soon, an unprecedented downpour poured down from the sky, the sound of the rain drowning out everything, including Pipa's own heartbeat…

This time, he was truly plunged into complete darkness.

In that pitch-black world that leads to death, Pipa stood there blankly.

He knew he should be dead, yet he was still clearly conscious, even retaining some of his senses, but in the absolute darkness, sensation was ineffective…

He had once heard his mother say that after a person dies, they go to the underworld to have their name removed from the register.

Led by the Black and White Impermanence, they were taken to the King of Hell to have their merits and demerits recounted in detail. Based on this, those who were extremely wicked were thrown into the eighteen levels of hell, some fried in oil, others stoned.

Those who have atoneed for their sins, or who are completely innocent and have neither committed any wrongdoing, can continue to the Bridge of Helplessness, queue up, cross the river, and be reincarnated...

And then the cycle repeats itself.

However, the loquat stayed in the darkness for a long time, but neither the Black Impermanence nor the White Impermanence appeared.

Forget about the underworld or Yama's palace, there wasn't even a dilapidated courtyard like his with mud-plastered walls.

After walking for a long time without seeing a single person or ghost, Pipa finally gave up.

He knelt in the darkness, closed his eyes listlessly.

After all, it was pitch black all around, so keeping his eyes open wouldn't do any good, especially since his eyeballs were constantly hanging out of their sockets, seemingly about to fall out.

Now just stuff it back in, close your eyes, and wrap them with strips of cloth torn from your tattered clothes, so your eyeballs won't fall out on their own.

But... it's still so boring.

This darkness, like a night without stars or moon, seems endless.

Or perhaps there will never be an end, because he is already dead.

This is the world after death...

The more Pipa thought about it, the more real it seemed. After all, only the dead can know about the afterlife.

Since these stories have been passed down through generations, the claims about ghosts, the underworld, and crossing the Bridge of Helplessness are simply untenable.

—If it is the world after death, how can the living know about it?

If someone faked their death and came back to life, claiming that they really saw the underworld, just as described in myths and legends... it's really not credible.

Since it is said to be a fake death, it is naturally a step away from a real death, and therefore cannot be generalized.

The saying "a small mistake can lead to a huge error" perfectly illustrates this point.

Pipa closed her eyes and let her mind wander for a long time, but it did nothing to console her.

The thought of being trapped in this vast darkness for the rest of my life—no, for the unimaginable long time to come—made me increasingly desperate.

In the past, the loquat only thought of the endless suffering of reincarnation.

Only now do I realize that there are things more agonizing than reincarnation itself: being consciously trapped in darkness.

It can neither fall asleep nor die a second time.

They can only recall their memories from their previous life over and over again, until they can remember every little detail of their past. Where memory cannot reach, they fill in the gaps with imagined details.

But soon, Pipa discovered that there were more and more loopholes to fill, and he began to lose track of what had actually happened and what he had made up.

Until he began to question his own existence.

—Was there really a person named Pipa in the world?

Or perhaps, does the world he remembers truly exist beyond this vast darkness?