Unmarried

Shaving Xu Zhiyuan is an art.

He needed to be quick and precise, yet still leave room for Jinnan's affectionate and selfish motives. Too much touching seemed intimate, and too little force wasn't enough to sever the mustache. Sometimes, his fingertips acted as blades, as if to use a touch to bring the inappropriate thoughts to a head, to eradicate them completely.

It was the first time Jinnan did such a thing for someone else. The fine beard fell into his palm and melted into the water. Xu Zhiyuan sat quietly and let him fiddle with it, only looking at him in the mirror.

This feeling was particularly novel. Jinnan had never looked at him in the mirror very often. Only those who slept and woke up together would meet in front of the morning makeup mirror. The foam and water stains always distorted everything, and there were rarely quiet, peaceful and pure glances.

They seemed to have never looked at each other so intently. From a distance, they were indistinct; up close, they were always kissing. This distance was just right. Jinnan could see the pale, almost invisible mole on Xu Zhiyuan's nose, the spots half hidden in his hair, a few scars, and a little dark color left by long-term fatigue.

All the flaws did not detract from his handsome appearance and temperament. Although he seemed serious and cold, he still had a charming demeanor.

Jin Nan himself was being scrutinized, his amorous eyes, inherited from Jin Licheng, flickering as his gaze drifted. His lips, thin as if heartless, felt soft under a kiss. He was handsome, well-proportioned, and possessed a subtlety that transcended his gender.

Jin Nandu uses this face to deceive outsiders, but it has no effect on Xu Zhiyuan. After all, this guy has seen all his miserable moments.

After spending time together, even the most stunningly beautiful woman will be worn down by the sharp eye, becoming commonplace, unable to distinguish between beauty and ugliness. Furthermore, time flies, and twenty years pass in the blink of an eye. Jinnan still longs to be like Xu Zhiyuan at thirty, forty, and fifty... She wants him to be a hundred, so we can be buried together in the earth.

Beyond the body, only the soul is timeless. Jin Nan understands this.

But he didn't understand why Xu Zhiyuan loved him, or if it wasn't love, what did he like about him?

I don’t understand. I don’t understand.

After a quick shave, Jinnan gently touched his own. His beard grew slowly, saving his master a lot of trouble. Xu Zhiyuan wiped his own face, rubbing the extra liquid in his palm against Jinnan's cheek, who didn't shy away.

One day at the age of twenty-three, Xu Zhiyuan had a day all to himself, in a foreign land, unknown and free from constraints. In early spring, through a pane of glass, he watched the morning and evening sunset, a pair of lovers who had never been together.

Jinnan took so many photos, so many that it seemed as if he were planning to spend his entire life in one day. Xu Zhiyuan accompanied him, walking slowly, without a single objection today.

Fifteen, eighteen, twenty-three, twenty-six. From the initial strangers to the current dependence on each other, there is no family in the world more distant than their blood relatives, and no strangers more closely related than them.

How to define it, how to limit it? How to measure responsibility beyond love, to put shackles on everything? How to get a definite, readable guarantee?

How to determine whether fake is fake and real is real?

Standing outside the church that had experienced fire and renovation, the organ sonata gave Jinnan the final courage.

He tried to look at Xu Zhiyuan as calmly as possible, using all his strength, and gave what he thought was a cheerful smile.

"Xu Zhiyuan."

"Um."

"Let's date. Be my boyfriend, and we'll spend our lives together."

It doesn't count if you haven't spoken it yet. Kissing, holding hands, and sleeping in the same bed don't count. In Jinnan's heart, only when the three words "together" are said out loud can it be considered the beginning of a lifelong contract.

He gave Xu Zhiyuan a long enough probation period, hoping that Xu Zhiyuan would not think that his action was too hasty or forced.

The traffic flowed by, and the originally quiet crowd suddenly became noisy while Jinnan was waiting for an answer. Xu Zhiyuan did not hear Jinnan's words in the unfamiliar language, and of course, did not give an answer.

"What did you just say?" Xu Zhiyuan asked him again after a long time.

However, this time, Jinnan lost the courage to speak again.

Maybe it's not time yet. They need a specially chosen auspicious day, flowers, cake, champagne, and friends and family. They won't have a marriage certificate, won't be recognized by the world, and perhaps, there won't be a proposal ceremony.

Then confessing your love is equivalent to proposing marriage.

Yes, that must be the case. He must have prepared too hastily, and even God couldn't stand it.

It's not time yet.

"Nothing." Jin Nan said, holding Xu Zhiyuan's hand tightly.

He breathed a sigh of relief quietly, not noticing Xu Zhiyuan's identical reaction.

The day passed quickly, the time they spent together especially rushed. After a good sleep, they returned to their packed schedule. On the last day, Jin Nan met with Ke Zhuo again and presented him with a contract for Hua Lin's new season's print advertising.

Xu Zhiyuan still disliked this man and did not accompany him. Jinnan did not like him much either; he came only to resolve the cause and effect and seek peace of mind. Ke Zhuo did not refuse.

The trip to Paname passed by in a hurry, and the return flight was in the afternoon. Jinnan hid in his seat, hoping to have a good sleep to relieve the fatigue of the past few days, but suddenly he saw a familiar figure in the seat opposite him.

The man looked to be over forty, his hair bleached silver, perhaps from graying. He seemed closer to middle age, yet his figure was thin. He was scribbling on the lunch menu and, as he handed it back to the flight attendant, happened to turn around and meet Jinnan's eyes.

Time has not diminished the heroic spirit between the man's brows. He waved at Jinnan, and a string of tiger-striped chess pieces carved into the shape of a Buddha's head on his wrist gleamed with a black and glossy luster in the sunlight.

"Uncle Geng!" Jin Nan was shocked. "Why didn't you tell me you were coming back?"

Uncle Geng, Geng Guangsong, was perhaps the only living elder capable of directing Jin Nan's affairs. From the age of twenty, this top graduate from Li University had devotedly followed the small-time street vendor, Jin Licheng, into his business. Their relationship became so close that whenever Jin Licheng went to pick up his son, Geng Guangsong was always by his side.

So when Jin Nan first met Uncle Geng, he didn't know who his father was. He thought about it for a long time before he realized that the even more unreliable and playboy was his biological father.

While Jin Licheng was busy coaxing the child to call him Daddy, Uncle Geng was busy taking care of all the procedures for Jin Nan's school registration and household registration.

When I was a junior at Nanjing University, Geng Guangsong went to Switzerland for recuperation due to illness. I hadn't seen him for two years, and I felt more awe than affection for this Uncle Geng.

The other cabin passengers were still boarding. Jinnan unbuckled his seat belt, stood up, and walked to Geng Guangsong.

Uncle Geng had lost a lot of weight, and his complexion was even more haggard than Jinnan remembered. He looked at the now-grown Jinnan with a look of relief on his face: "You've grown up, and look like a grown-up. More respectable than those two brats at home."

Jinnan then squatted beside him and let Uncle Geng touch his hair like he did when he was a teenager.

Compared to two years ago, Jin Nan had barely changed, having only grown a little taller. The biggest change was in his temperament. After spending so much time with Xu Zhiyuan, he had already lost much of Jin Licheng's impetuousness and had become much more composed.

"Where is Licheng buried? I was seriously ill last year and couldn't come back, leaving you to face all this alone." Geng Guangsong sighed, "I'm going to apologize to him after the plane lands."

"It's okay, Zhiyuan is with me."

"Zhiyuan?" Geng Guangsong was a little surprised. "These are family matters. Why should I bother him? Besides, he's just a child."

"Uncle Geng, Zhiyuan and I grew up together, and now... we're kind of family," Jinnan said. "Don't be so distant, he sits right behind me."

Geng Guangsong looked back and saw two empty seats. Xu Zhiyuan was not there, but a water cup replaced his presence.

"Xiao Nan, you and Zhiyuan have a good relationship... That's good too, but there's something I have to tell you."

"You talk, and I listen."

Jin Nan waited, but Geng Guangsong remained silent, stroking Jin Nan's soft hair again and again. The child was growing more and more like Jin Licheng, but his personality was completely different. He didn't have Jin Licheng's wild and carefree attitude towards life, but was instead well-behaved, obedient, and sentimental.

These qualifications inevitably seem redundant in a person in power.

"Xiao Nan, how many years have you been back to Lido?"

Jinnan didn't understand what he was going to say and was a little confused: "Eight years."

"Eight years, it's been eight years." Geng Guangsong murmured softly, his eyes falling with a slight smile, "But Zhiyuan has been with Licheng for many more years than you have. You should know that before you showed up, Licheng was training Zhiyuan as his successor."

Jinnan was speechless for a moment.

"I know."

"You don't understand," Geng Guangsong said. "Zhiyuan is the most ambitious kid of your generation I've ever met. If he went out and worked hard on his own, his achievements might not be less than Licheng's. What is he doing by your side now? A senior secretary?"

That was true. Jin Nan lowered his head. Something that he had been hiding in his heart was revealed, and he had to face it. Jin Nan felt a little pain, but he couldn't figure out where it hurt.

"I heard that you were the one who detained him in Hualin. He was about to leave."

"Yes." Jinnan couldn't refute it.

Geng Guangsong stared at him: "Are you going to withdraw and leave everything to him?"

Not necessarily. Jin Nan raised his head and saw Geng Guangsong's expression, and all the words died in his throat.

That was the look he had seen at Jin Licheng's deathbed, a look of disappointment and helplessness.

"The year Licheng found you, he looked many years younger. You should know how much your Daddy loves you."

Love him?

Jinnan thought of the many new facilities in Yunting, such as the basketball hoop and the game room. His room was twice as big as Xu Zhiyuan's, and all the food and supplies were the latest and best.

According to Xu Zhiyuan, Jin Licheng, who almost never went home, came home every day during that period and would watch him eat for a long time.

Every day I tease him like a puppy, raising my voice to tease him.

"Xiao Nan, Nan Nan, call Daddy."

"Why not dad or father?"

"That's too old. How fashionable is Daddy?"

The forty-year-old prodigal son who had no intention of having children suddenly had a fifteen-year-old son whom he treasured like the apple of his eye.

But he didn't know how to love, and even less how to have children. He built a palace of gold and jade, and lived with two children in it, both of whom looked like orphans with ample food and clothing.

No matter how unqualified or incompetent I am, love is real. I can't let Jinnan down.

It was true that Xu Zhiyuan treated him well, and it was also true that Xu Zhiyuan wanted to leave. Jin Nan had seen his draft resignation letter with his own eyes. When Jin Licheng just left, Xu Zhiyuan thought about leaving everything to Jin Nan and then walking away.

Jinnan hid his plane ticket and passport and replaced them with cameras and bodyguards.

Yes, only a few months have passed, how could he be indulging in false happiness?

Is Xu Zhiyuan happy? Is this what Xu Zhiyuan wants? Does Xu Zhiyuan want to stay by his side?

He didn't even know why Xu Zhiyuan left in the first place.

The flight attendant's urging voice was heard, and Jin Nan felt a hand on his head. He turned around and saw that it was Xu Zhiyuan who had returned from the business class to get something.

"Uncle Geng."

Geng Guangsong nodded and smiled, but said nothing more.

Jinnan returned to his seat, feeling rather distraught and uneasy.