Chapter 200: Escape I Can't Want a Lover Like This

After getting off the car, Zhu Yingning took a detour and walked across two streets before arriving at the meeting place she and Zhang Jiacheng had agreed to meet.

It's not a chain mall like Wanda, but a local shopping plaza. It's only two stories high, but its width is impressive. Most of the businesses there are local, not chain stores, and the food selection is full of local specialties.

She had made an appointment at the main entrance of the shopping mall and arrived half an hour early. However, when she got there, she found that Zhang Jiacheng had already arrived.

She had imagined what he looked like - in her superficial understanding, people who studied abroad generally dressed in a European and American style, but Zhang Jiacheng seemed to have not changed at all, his clothes and habits had not changed. He was still wearing the summer clothes he bought during his undergraduate studies, standing upright in the shade of the tree, neither playing with his mobile phone nor looking around, just waiting quietly, his thin eyebrows drooping slightly, falling on the grass leaves by the roadside, just like when he waited for her to finish class and go to the library together.

It's impossible to say that I don't feel anything at all, that I'm as still as a pool of stagnant water.

Their reasons for breaking up weren't particularly sinister; they maintained a sense of dignity, a nostalgia for their youth. Nearly a year had passed since their separation, and it felt as if nothing had changed, yet everything had changed.

She adjusted her mood a little before walking towards him.

Zhang Jiacheng raised his head as if he sensed something, and looked straight at her under the shade of the tree.

After looking at each other, neither of them excitedly rushed forward to hug each other, said "long time no see" to each other, or stood there with tears streaming down their faces like in TV dramas. No, the real world is not so passionate.

It was Zhu Yingning who spoke first, saying, "You're here so early, let's go have lunch first."

Then Zhang Jiacheng nodded at her.

**

Zhu Yingning had made a reservation at the restaurant long ago. She and Shen Fei, Wen Wenxu and others had eaten there twice before. The food was delicious. Although they were all rustic home-cooked dishes, they were very flavorful and the ingredients were fresh. They purchased free-range chickens raised by local farmers and frosted cabbages grown by themselves. The chicken was fragrant and the cabbage was sweet, so the price was not cheap.

The restaurant wasn't decorated in the casual style of a typical farmhouse restaurant, but had private rooms like any other chain restaurant. However, since there were only two of them, they didn't go to the private room and instead chose a random seat for two in the crowded restaurant.

The surroundings were bustling with people, but the corner they found was quiet, probably because there happened to be a couple and a pair of best friends around them, and there were no noisy children.

They were able to have a smooth conversation while ordering, but after they finished ordering and both parties put down their phones and menus, the awkwardness became apparent.

After a long awkward moment, Zhang Jiacheng took the initiative to hand her the bag he had been carrying all the way and explained, "It's Xiaoran's gift."

She took it and smiled: "Thank Xiaoran for me, she is so thoughtful... and thank you for bringing it to me."

She looked down at the bag and found two packages inside. She took out one of the packages in surprise and raised the bag to indicate, "Xiao Ran prepared two? This is too expensive. Tell her not to do this in the future. Just show your thoughtfulness."

Unexpectedly, Zhang Jiacheng shook his head and said, "The other one is mine."

She stopped talking instantly, holding the package in her left hand and the bag in her right hand. After a moment's pause, she said, "Ah...thank you, but don't spend so much money in the future."

She always said "don't spend money", but he could hear different meanings in her words. To Xiao Ran, it was because she felt that she was still young and she didn't want a child to spend so much money on her. But to him, the meaning was clear on another level - since there was no future, there was no need to spend money anymore.

After saying this, perhaps to avoid a tense atmosphere, she smiled and took the initiative to say, "Since you brought me a gift, I have to treat you to dinner today. Don't try to grab the bill from me later."

As considerate and gentle as ever.

Zhang Jiacheng suddenly felt annoyed about why he knew her so well. If he didn't know her well enough, he would have naturally interpreted her words as her lingering feelings for him, but he couldn't deceive himself like this, because she was such a kind person, she would wrap the words "draw a clear line" in soft words, and use reciprocity to eliminate the favor she owed him because of the gift he gave her.

"Closing the relationship" was her most tactful yet cruel rejection. There wouldn't even be another chance for him to give her a birthday present and for her to give him one in return.

When the food was served, she took the initiative to invite him to eat and introduced the characteristics of each dish to him with a smile.

"Do you still remember Dai Yize? Doesn't he sometimes post on WeChat Moments in the middle of the night saying he wants to eat a certain Chinese dish? I think you probably miss the food here too. This cold beef dish is very similar to the one we had in our university cafeteria, but it's better. Try taking some."

Almost everything she said was from his perspective, but although she spoke of concern, she did not naturally pick up food for him while speaking as she did before.

Before coming to see her, Zhang Jiacheng thought he had adjusted his mood and could face everything maturely and with ease. However, when the moment really came, he realized that it was impossible to adjust his mood in advance.

What does the breakup mean to him?

In the past two hundred days, he had not had any concrete understanding of this matter.

He must have been sad when he first heard her break up, perhaps so sad that he couldn't stop crying and couldn't fall asleep in bed at night. However, the new life that followed did not give him too many opportunities to be sad. He needed to devote more energy to accepting new things and adapting to the new environment. Under the repeated deliberate suppression of reason, the sadness was soon compressed into a faint sadness, which he would only think of when he was lonely and missed his hometown.

The frequency of those moments decreased as time went by as he got to know more and more people in his new school.

He has new roommates, new classmates, new mentors, new goals to strive for, and new like-minded partners.

Those who leave first never have time to feel sad.

So when he came to China to save the relationship, he felt that he could still maintain the same calm and moderate mentality as when he was abroad.

Unfortunately, the end of a relationship is not as simple as he thought.

The so-called breakup means that the other person is still sitting in front of you, still the same person, still with that smile, as if nothing has changed, but all the details have changed.

She was no longer the same to him.

The meal was tasteless. He wanted to say something several times, but was afraid that it would affect both of their moods for the meal, so he held back. He pretended not to understand her expression of rejection, and still used the serving chopsticks to pick up food for her. He also put on gloves and peeled shrimps for her as if nothing had happened, even though she said, "I'm tired of eating seafood lately. You eat it yourself."

The smile conceals the embarrassment, and the pretended familiarity dissolves the unfamiliarity.

When they were almost done eating, he tried to use the excuse of going to the restroom to go to the front desk to pay the bill. Only then did Zhu Yingning put down her chopsticks, looked at him with complicated eyes, and said, "...Zhang Jiacheng, you don't have to do this."

He paused as he was about to stand up, and finally sat back down slowly.

The long silence lay between them like a cold china plate.

After an unknown amount of time, Zhang Jiacheng finally opened his mouth and said softly, "I plan to return to China and find a job after completing my master's degree."

She raised the corner of her mouth, revealing an encouraging and trusting smile: "You studied at such a good university abroad, which will definitely be a big advantage when you find a job back home."

"That's not what I want to hear." He looked up at her. He had obviously intended to speak slowly and not push her too hard, but once he opened his mouth, he couldn't stop talking. The words came out one after another, all at once. "Is there really no possibility between us? Just because we're in different places?"

He said: "If you need me to come back earlier, I can find a way. Or do you already have a boyfriend...right? You already have a boyfriend? Who is it? It's Xu..."

He didn't say Xu Sirui's full name because he saw Zhu Yingning's incredulous look.

Her eyebrows were twisted into knots, and her nose wrinkled. It was obvious that she was trying hard to control her surprise and anger. She took two deep breaths and said, "...Why do you always mention Xu Sirui?! Does he have anything to do with the relationship between us? You didn't even meet once in college, right?"

Zhang Jiacheng pursed his lips and said nothing.

After a long silence, her tone softened slightly, and she said helplessly, "I never broke up with you because we were in different places."

"Why?" He spoke softly but persistently, "Because you didn't like me anymore?"

She laughed helplessly: "No."

As she said this, her eyes drooped slightly, staring at the crystal clear water droplets condensing on the outer wall of the water glass in front of her. After thinking for a long time, she spoke softly, as if talking to herself: "I broke up with you because you ran away at that time."

"You could have come to me and discussed your future plans if you wanted me to. If you wanted me to wait, I could have waited. I'm not afraid of waiting, nor am I afraid of being apart. But you said nothing, didn't solve anything... You avoided the most crucial issue and chose to do nothing." When she raised her gaze again, tears welled up in her eyes. "The ideal I chose hasn't been smooth sailing, nor has it been easy. No one can predict how many storms the future holds. I can't have a lover who can't face them with me and who habitually avoids problems."

So she and Zhang Jiacheng broke up.

So until now she has not been able to accept Xu Sirui's pursuit.

After she finished speaking, Zhang Jiacheng leaned back in his chair with his eyes wide open, his hands still clasped in front of his knees, and he remained motionless for a long time without making the next move.

He thought of many reasons, and even thought in a mean way that she might have cheated on him. He also thought in a humble way that if she cheated, then so be it. As long as she could still be with him in the end, he seemed not to be unable to forgive her.

But he had never thought of this as the reason.

No betrayal, no quarrels, not the fading of love. There are infinite possibilities between people, but there are also some things that may seem small, but they are the bottom line that someone insists on. Once violated, there is no turning back.

The things he deliberately ignored and thought were insignificant were precisely the qualities she valued most.

A heart that is always open and sincere.

**

Zhang Jiacheng didn't know how long he had been sitting in the restaurant, and he didn't even know when Zhu Yingning got up and left. He finally regained his five senses because he tasted a salty and astringent taste in his mouth. The dull pain of the belated breakup cut his heart inch by inch like a sharp knife.

He reached out, held the cold cup covered with water droplets, and chuckled softly.

It's laughing at yourself.

He was also mocking Xu Sirui.

She said so many things, but the most crucial point was wrong.

Why is he so obsessed with using Xu Sirui to compete with himself?

Because it's not like he had never seen him before during his college years.

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The author has something to say: I'm sorry that the second update is a little late. The network suddenly got stuck and I worked so hard to post it.