Hello, I am Vincent.

My full name is Cheng Ruzhou, my nickname is Wensheng, the villagers call me Junsheng, my mother calls me Xiaowen, Wenwen, Naughty boy, bad boy, bear monkey, and preserved egg.

I originally lived in Shuihuai Village and had a happy family.

My grandparents are kind and gentle, they are friendly old people, generous and charitable, and people in the village and outside the village like them.

My father is gentle but serious. He is a man who puts principles above everything else. If anyone crosses his bottom line, he will not let them off easily.

My mother is a gentle and virtuous country woman who is good at housekeeping but has a bad temper. She is beautiful, gentle, yet stubborn. There were so many men and children in the village, but she always liked to keep an eye on me, telling me to eat noodles, to eat vegetables, to read opera scripts, not to go into the river, not to catch snakes, not to

Anyway, what she wants is what I don't want, and what I want is what she won't let me have.

Oh, it's so helpless.

My father spoiled her and said that a man should be good to his mother, otherwise he is not a real man, especially since my mother is quite pampered.

And my dad said that my mom has a baby and might give birth to a little sister for me. She will definitely be a smart, cute and soft little sister.

But I like a brother or sister who is as lively as me, so that I can take her to go fishing, climb mountains, catch rabbits, and play mahjong.

However, as long as she is my own sister, I like her, no matter if she is spoiled or a tomboy.

I am a good child, so I have to be nice to my mother and not make her angry. I eat noodles and read the script.

I can recite it to you, do you believe it?

I can find out any book you haven't seen. Believe me or not, I can even make up my own story.

Oh, if I don't spoil her, I'll go crazy if she starts nagging. When my mother nags at people, she doesn't speak loudly, but in a soft and gentle voice. Alas, how many people envy my father and me, saying that my mother is gentle and a good woman that is hard to find.

Didn't you hear her talking?

Go crazy

Fortunately, my second uncle and second aunt were there to be scolded instead of me.

Although Second Aunt is a bit petty and not easy to get along with, Second Uncle is optimistic and never argues with Grandpa or Father. He did what he could and did not fight for the right to be the head of the family, because he knew that he did not have a father or an elder brother who could be the head of the family, and he could not support so many people on his own.

If that incident had not happened, our family would have grown old, gotten sick and died in that ancient and peaceful village. When I grow up, I will marry a wife and take over my parents' account books and manage the household.

This happens year after year, day after day, generation after generation.

Damn, it’s too monotonous and boring. The world is so big, I want to go out and explore.

The enemy broke into our country, we fought back vigorously, so many people joined the Red Army and the Eighth Route Army, why should I stay at home and seek peace?

How could my grandfather and father, who have always been upright and strong, allow the Cheng family not to participate in the war?

When I was seven or eight years old, I persuaded my second uncle to secretly join the army. We went together, but we were caught by my father and put in solitary confinement.

Later I learned that none of the men in our family could go because they were registered with the Japanese and puppet troops. If one of the men in the family went missing, the whole village would be considered an anti-Japanese element and executed.

They kept their word, so my father didn't dare take any risks.

But he did do something. I later learned that he secretly donated food to the anti-Japanese organizations and used his family's money to buy penicillin for them.

Captain Shang and Political Commissar Guan were two people he knew. They sneaked into my house several times to seek help, and my father and grandfather tried their best to help.

Later, the Japanese army surrendered and continued to fight against Lao J. I also participated in several rescue operations. I hid several wanted underground party members in the cellar of my house. With my help in covering them, the G-party spies couldn't find them. Because that was my secret base, filled with my toys, which my mother said were all junk.

If that incident had not happened, I would probably have repeated my father's path and would not have encountered such strange things.

The landlords were beaten and the land was divided, and our family was beaten.

I can't figure it out, no matter how hard I try. We were secretly fighting against the Japanese and supporting the anti-Japanese war, but why was it that the beast Cheng Fugui was the counter-revolutionary, deceiving his superiors and hiding the truth from his subordinates?

Cheng Fugui held a grudge and instigated the whole village to criticize my grandfather and grandma. He relied on his privilege to shoot my grandfather without any investigation.

My grandma was already old and had been respected all her life. She couldn't stand being humiliated in such a way in her old age, so she chose to hang herself.

She said she left with a clear mind because she was afraid that her grandfather would be lonely on the road to the underworld, so she had to go and accompany him.

She gave birth to children for her grandfather throughout his life, and he always protected and respected her, even though she was a woman with bound feet, had never been to school, had little culture, and did not understand the truth. But she understands that a couple should share happiness and hardships.

She was old and could no longer be a burden to her children, so she hanged herself and told no one in her family to stop her.

I begged her not to die, but she smiled and let me live.

"Child, if you want to live to be as old as your grandparents, you still have many decades to go."

When I looked at my grandma's body at that time, I couldn't describe my feelings. I wanted to cry but couldn't. There was a huge ball of numbness wrapped in mud in my heart, which covered my whole body. I couldn't breathe, and my body became heavier and heavier.

My father and second uncle were arrested and imprisoned, where they were criticized and beaten, and it was said that they were also going to be shot. My mother was imprisoned together with those women of my second aunt, and their house was ransacked and smashed.

They locked up Yesheng Xianglan and me as well. How could I let them lock me up and then let me escape? I want to go find my parents and save them.

Now that the Japanese have surrendered and left, no one will label our family as someone who cannot resist the Japanese. I want to go and fight.

I sneaked into the ancestral home, but unexpectedly there was someone home. I saw that beast Cheng Fugui. He actually wanted my mother to be with him and said that he had always liked her.

Of course my mother would not agree. He is not even as good as my father. Why would my mother be with him?

He beat her, tore her clothes, and threatened her, saying that if she didn't obey, he would kill my father, me, my second uncle, and our entire family.

My mother couldn't beat him, so she cursed him.

I was so angry that I was about to explode. How dare you bully my mother? I'm going to kill you, you bastard. I'm going to the cellar to find a knife and kill him.

Unfortunately, I didn’t have enough strength to beat him, and he beat me instead.

He stepped on me to threaten her, and I shouted loudly, "Mom, there are no cowards in our family. I am not afraid of him and I am not afraid of death."

It’s just that my mother can’t stand it.

The beast beat me very hard, but I was not afraid of the pain at all and I didn't beg for mercy.

I even got a chance to bite Cheng Fugui, but he ran away, threatening to kill our entire family.

I told my mother not to be sad. I am not afraid of death, and neither is my father.

She just looked at me quietly, with a look of reluctance and unwillingness, so I tried to cheer her up, sang for her, and recited scripts to her.

"Look, I actually know a lot more."

She finally cried, hugging me and crying quietly.

My sister is gone.

I was in so much pain, and seeing my mother in pain hurt me even more. I felt like I was dying from the pain.

My mother said the same thing as my grandmother, that she couldn't drag us down. If she were alive, my father, my second uncle and I would not be able to survive. She didn't want the Cheng family to lose face and be unable to hold their heads up.

She said, "We can be wronged, but we cannot be humiliated."

I don't understand. I hate that I can't figure it out. I'm a man. Why can't I understand what they say?

Grandpa said, it was dawn, the Japanese surrendered, and we were all liberated. Who knew that our house was ransacked by Cheng Fugui, and he died, and my grandma died.

My mother said that we couldn’t survive as long as she was alive, but I don’t understand.

Is it that bastard Cheng Fugui? I'll just kill him.

If I can't kill him today, I'll kill him tomorrow or the day after tomorrow.

But my mother still died. Like my grandmother, she was hanged.

My mother is dead. I am in so much pain. I am really dying of pain. Everything I see in front of me is blood red. My head is rumbling like thunder and I can't calm down at all.

I only have one thought, kill that bastard

So I ran away, found a knife, and was going to kill Cheng Fugui. As a result, he was not there, so I chopped his eldest son and they beat me.

Am I afraid of pain? Actually, I am. The pain of being hit by sticks, fists and feet on my flesh and blood is indescribable, but I don’t cry out in pain. Compared to my grandma and mother, I don’t feel any pain.

My grandfather died, my grandmother died, and my mother died too.

I don't feel any pain.

I heard my ribs breaking, my blood splattering,

I don't feel any pain.

I want revenge for my mother.

I'm going to kill their whole family.

I want them to pay with blood, including the elderly, children, cats, dogs, pigs and chickens.

At that moment I suddenly had a mysterious friend.

I wanted to kill Cheng Fugui, but I didn't have the strength. My friend had the strength, and he made my body as powerful as an adult's.

I beat them back severely, breaking Cheng Fuwan's ribs, breaking Cheng Fugui's son's ribs, and until I passed out.

When I woke up, it was several days later. My second uncle said that I had a near-death experience and had been in a coma for several days with a high fever.

Fortunately, Captain Shang and Political Commissar Guan arrived in time and rescued us.

But I don't understand why they couldn't come earlier, why they couldn't save grandpa, grandma and mom, and why that bastard Cheng Fugui could do evil things and have people backing him up.

I don't understand, I can't figure it out, I just won't accept it,

Then they said I was crazy and that I had mental problems.

Yeah

Maybe.

I knew that my new friend was not right. He was very strong, cold-blooded, dark and violent. He believed in blood for blood, and he would help me as long as I wanted to beat or kill people.

We were on the farm and had people protecting us, but there were also people who bullied us and always wanted to beat up my father and second uncle.

When I couldn't stand it anymore, I asked my friends to beat them up so that they wouldn't dare to bully my father and my second uncle.

Of course, they said I was completely crazy.

They call me Dashazhou, a big fool.

It doesn't matter, my name is given to my family anyway, they can call me whatever they want.

My father told me that I must not go crazy and kill or beat anyone again, otherwise I would be locked up or shot. He didn’t want me to die.

Then I understood that my friend who could kill people couldn't come out often, because I would be beaten to death, and if I died he wouldn't be able to protect my father and my second uncle.

I gave him the name Cheng Ruzhou because he will protect us like an adult.

I thought of my mother, and then I started singing opera.

I have a friend who can sing opera. He is like a pure actor. He can sing, recite, act and fight. He has excellent acting and singing skills. Sometimes he is gentle and sometimes he is sarcastic and mean. He is also very good at swearing.

Those who dare not beat or scold us but also want to bully and exclude us, if I cannot beat or kill them, my friend will help me scold them.

They were scolded bloody

I gave him the nickname Junsheng because he is very handsome and has the ability to charm everyone. This is what the cadres on the farm said. They are cultured people.

I don't want to look at anyone except my father and second uncle. Junsheng will help me deal with them.

Oh, my second aunt doesn’t want my second uncle anymore and left. Maybe this is what my grandma and mother meant by fear of being a burden.

My second uncle later married a better wife, who was pretty, gentle, and a bit timid, and a perfect match for our family.

My new second aunt is a very nice woman, but I think she is also a little silly. She originally wanted to hang herself like my mother, but my second uncle saved her and enlightened her, and she wanted to marry my second uncle. Although there were some twists and turns, the two are still together. After getting married, she was no longer afraid and no longer wanted to commit suicide, and she was happy every day.

She is very nice to Yesheng and Xianglan, but they always say bad things about her. She is really a little silly, but in a cute way.

If my mother were here, she would definitely like her.

Even when she was criticized and made to do a lot of work, she never cried or felt sad. She smiled all day long, as if there was nothing to worry about in the world.

She infected everyone, and the people around her were happy with her. They picked wild flowers for her and arranged them to decorate the dark, shabby house.

Except for those two asshole kids.

Junsheng also liked her very much and sang operas for her. She also liked listening to operas, so they went together to find other opera singers to listen to.

With her company, Junsheng has gotten much better, but his harshness is in his nature and cannot be changed.

He will attract the covetousness of some people on the farm. In addition to listening to the opera, these bastards always want to take the actors for themselves. Men are all bad people, which makes me feel embarrassed. I don't want to face those boring, disgusting and sickening people.

So I had a new friend, and I gave him the name Vincent.

He is simple and silly, smiling all day long, and very popular. He seems to be only four or five years old. I think children are the happiest when they are four or five years old. Their parents won’t force them to study, and others won’t scold them even if they are naughty.

When a boy turns six, his good days are over.

So, it’s good for Wensheng to be like this. He is so happy. He is happy when he has food to eat and when he can listen to and sing operas.

But he is too stupid. He can't do anything except singing and listening to opera.

I have to help him, otherwise he will be bullied again. Although I can't control Cheng Ruzhou and Junsheng's temper, I can control Wensheng.

Wensheng is too stupid and naive, he doesn't know of our existence, but Cheng Ruzhou and Junsheng do.

Although I cannot change him directly, I can influence him slowly by constantly talking to him. Over time, he actually changes.

This little fool was very happy, eating and drinking foolishly. They said that I was not so crazy anymore and no longer beat or killed people, so there was no need to lock me up.

Oh, by the way, my second uncle and my new second aunt also gave me a new brother named Dongsheng.

I don't like my second aunt's two children and don't like seeing them.

I like Dongsheng very much. Dongsheng is very handsome. He was thin and small when he was a child, with black and bright eyes, which made people feel uneasy when he looked at people.

How strange.

I don't know if he can see me.

I tried to find a way to get him some food to nourish his body, otherwise he would starve to death, which would be a shame.

Everyone else was worried about me staying with Dongsheng, fearing that I would harm Dongsheng. Only Second Aunt was not afraid and asked me to help take care of Dongsheng. Second aunt said that I was neither crazy nor stupid, but a good child. She fed the baby and went to work, and asked me to look after Dongsheng. Second aunt's two bastard children would make things difficult for her, not helping at all, and only cared about eating. What selfish bastards.

I hate them

I made delicious food and only gave it to Dongsheng, not to them.

These days have been relatively peaceful, but sometimes I still can't control myself and would let Cheng Ruzhou beat back those who bullied us. It was obviously wrong for them to bully us, but if I fought back, it would be our fault. I don’t understand, but my father and second uncle will be punished for this.

I understood that in order not to hurt my family, I couldn't show up. Only Wensheng was safe.

I asked Cheng Ruzhou how to show up less frequently so that people wouldn't notice that something was wrong with Dashazhou, and he said to sleep.

I haven't slept since the accident in my family. It's very strange. Why shouldn't I sleep? Anyway, I seem to be always alert when they are sleeping. I'm afraid that someone will come to harm us in the middle of the night.

If I sleep, I won't know what's going on.

If I fall asleep, what if that idiot is bullied or harmed? I will be worried.

Dongsheng grew up slowly. Even at the age of three or four, he was surprisingly smart. He didn't like talking to outsiders and didn't fit in with the people around him.

Everyone said he was a little devil. His eyes were scary even at such a young age. He would compose his own nursery rhymes that could scare children to tears. I like listening the most. When Xiaodong was born, I would play with him and teach him some things.

He probably doesn't remember.

With Dongsheng accompanying the fool, I have nothing to worry about. After all, they have grown up, Wensheng is strong, and Dongsheng is smart, so no one can bully them.

Then I went to sleep.

Later I went crazy again because of my dad.

My father is dead too.

Vincent doesn't know, he understands nothing.

After that, the days passed very slowly.

Dongsheng grew up, and his second aunt took them back to Shuihuai Village. Silly Wensheng felt extremely disappointed, but it was a pity that he could not go with them.

His loss was affected by me. I was so lost and painful that it affected him.

He would not have felt any pain, and he did not even know what pain was.

Just like Cheng Ruzhou, he is only violent and cannot think calmly, while Junsheng is naturally coquettish and mean.

Vincent is just simple and naive, nothing else. He is not painful, not irritable, and not complicated.

He has only true love, and that is all my love.

I know Dongsheng is a good boy and the hope of our family. He is so different and he really kept his promise.

He said, "Brother, don't worry, I will take you home."

He never treated me as a fool or a madman, he only treated me as a brother.

When he brought his family to pick up my second uncle and me, I actually had a feeling of fulfillment. I wanted to disappear and not get involved in their future happy time, so that I wouldn't ruin it.

Then I saw Linlin, and it was as if I saw my mother.

They don't look alike. She is prettier than her mother, like Nong Yan's rose, bright, energetic and dashing, unlike her mother who is quiet, soft-spoken and has a bad temper.

But the light in their eyes can penetrate deep into the heart. Silly Vincent responded to her eyes and voice, and he was very excited.

At that moment, I was also confused. Did my mother die or leave? Is she coming to pick me up now?

She is my mother, I thought, and then Vincent knelt down obediently and called her mother.

Dabao and Xiaobao are almost identical to Dongsheng when he was a child, only more cute and lively.

I have two more brothers

The life after this seemed to be able to be welded together with the life before the accident. If I disappeared and did not exist, Wensheng's life would always be happy.

I tried to make him seem like a complete person, telling him the good things about his childhood thousands of times, and only talking about good memories.

The sugar extracted from the bitter gall is sweet to him.

I hope he can grow up again. Of course, that is just my hope. It is impossible for him to grow up, just like Cheng Ruzhou cannot be quiet and Junsheng cannot be normal.

But I hope he can grow up and live happily in my place.

This way Dongsheng and Linlin will both be happy.

I think maybe I should disappear completely so that Vincent can grow up on his own.

That day, Linlin took us to lay tiles. The loudspeaker kept irritating my nerves. Cheng Ruzhou suddenly appeared and attacked her with his hand. Although I could communicate with him, I could never control him. Fortunately, although he was irritable, he did not hurt his family.

He just wanted to kill Cheng Fugui, put an end to the matter once and for all, and let the pain of the past no longer affect his present and future life.

Cut the beast's arm with a knife, bite off its ear, and kill it.

But the desire for revenge is not as fierce as it was before, because I don’t want to worry Dongsheng and Linlin, I don’t want to worry my second uncle and second aunt, I don’t want to scare Dabao and Xiaobao. I treat them as the little Dongsheng and my brothers.

Finally, we chose to let Cheng Ruzhou continue to sleep.

There will be no pain when you fall asleep.

Maybe because I chattered to Wensheng all the time, just like my mother did in the past, Wensheng was finally influenced by me, began to grow up, and became more and more able to communicate normally with others.

I am happy for him. Every time I see Linlin smile, I feel very happy. I have an indescribable feeling, as if she is my grandma, mother, sister, daughter-in-law, and daughter, all my relatives.

I can't bear to see her suffer any injustice.

Every time she encounters something, I get extremely panicked, irritable, and unable to control myself, but I know I can't become Cheng Ruzhou or Junsheng.

That time, she was chased by a dog with Dabao and Xiaobao, and she was so scared that she lost her mind. For a moment, I wanted to become Cheng Ruzhou and kill all those bastards. Things are different now. They no longer have the strength they once had, and my body has grown and possesses far more strength than they did.

I can do it

It was Dongsheng who comforted me. He killed the dog, drove Cheng Xinda crazy, and then sent them to a labor camp to experience our torture. Did what I wanted to do.

An eye for an eye, blood for blood. Dongsheng has the cruelty of Cheng Ruzhou, but he also has the simplicity and kindness of Wensheng. He can control himself well and won't hide in the dark like me, never seeing the light of day again.

Suddenly I had a desire to stand beside them. I also wanted to protect Linlin and never let her get hurt again.

Maybe my desire was too strong, I actually took control of my body. I am older than Vincent, and not as naive and simple as him, but no matter I am violent, sarcastic, simple or quiet, they will not doubt it, in their eyes, this is all me.

They love me and trust me completely.

It's a very safe feeling.

But I know that Vincent is the best fit for this family. Although he cannot communicate with me and doesn't know I exist, he will be influenced by me and gradually become better.

I can't ruin all this because I can't control Cheng Ruzhou and Junsheng, and I can't guarantee that they won't go crazy. Only Wensheng is safe.

In the end, I returned everything to Wensheng. I would not allow anyone to destroy the beauty of this family, including myself.

Vincent understands me more and more, and I can empathize with him more and more.

Everyone thought he was becoming more sensible, and everyone was happy.

Time passes by day by day, and I feel very happy, just like lying on the warm water, so comfortable. Even if it disappears in the next moment, I will have no regrets.

Wensheng was increasingly influenced by me. He would recall the happy things from his childhood, and when he was thinking about the happy things, those sad scenes would pop up involuntarily.

I don't want him to suffer. I should bear all the pain. He doesn't have to remember anything.

Wensheng is a good boy. He loves this family, loves Linlin, loves singing opera, learning English, singing, acting, and filming TV series and movies. I can empathize with all these joys and hardships.

However, he was not affected by me and did not respond to the exclusion and discrimination imposed on him by outsiders with anger and tit-for-tat. No matter how the outside world treats him, he remains simple and kind, and concentrates on doing what he likes.

This is better.

I feel, I influence, I am happy.

Vincent is becoming more and more popular, but he remains as innocent as ever. He can withstand the humiliation from others and the overwhelming honors because he doesn't care. All he has in his eyes is his mother and family. He sings for his mother, to earn money to support his family, and to be happier, not to make others happy.

Therefore, he doesn't care about what others think is honor or disgrace.

very nice.

His family members tried to test him to see if he wanted to get married, but Wensheng really didn't understand. Even though he looked a lot older and less childish under my influence, his mind was still single-minded and pure.

Commonly known as lack of tendons.

Although I wanted him to get married and live a normal life as a man, I didn't want to do that in my heart. I just wanted to protect this family. I had no interest in starting a family of my own.

I have given all my love and affection to this family. I only want my grandma, my mother, and my sister. I want our family to be together forever and no one can separate us anymore.

I'm not cut out for marriage and I don't want to deceive anyone.

So when Xiaojie asked Wensheng if he wanted to marry her, Wensheng said what was in my heart: "I want you to be Xiaojie."

If not a daughter-in-law, then Xiaojie, our family’s eternal friend, not someone’s daughter-in-law.

I'm sorry, we no longer have the energy to love another woman. We have Grandma, Linlin and Baosheng in our family.

As long as Linlin and Dongsheng don't drive us away, we will be together forever.

As time passed, we became happier and more blessed, and Cheng Ruzhou and Junsheng slept longer and longer.

Then one day, they left without saying goodbye.

When they left, I was dreaming.

I had a very horrible dream. I was jealous of Vincent and wanted to replace him and completely wipe him out. I became more and more violent and evil, and even had thoughts that I shouldn’t have.

Later, one day at the end of the year, I performed a play about beheading Qin Hui on the stage of Shuihuai Village, and then I used the sharp sword I sharpened to kill all the members of Cheng Fugui and Cheng Fuwan’s family, including men, women, young and old, chickens, cats, pigs, dogs, and so on.

I also stacked the heads neatly on the graves of my grandparents, parents and worshipped them.

When everyone was looking for me and trying to catch me, I sneaked back to the new ancestral hall, the memorial hall.

I looked through the books, portraits, and photos, and finally decided to bury myself there.

The fire started from itself and then burned the entire ancestral hall to ashes.

Dongsheng and Linlin rushed into the fire to save me, but I drove them out. I sang and performed in the fire to commemorate the blood and tears of our lost lives.

"We don't need commemoration, we just need to sleep."

Then I woke up, but Cheng Ruzhou and Junsheng were gone, leaving only Wensheng and I. Vincent still doesn’t know I exist. He thinks we are the same person and I am his inexplicable sadness and forgotten past.

I want to completely give my life to Wensheng and disappear with Cheng Ruzhou and Junsheng.

At this time, I saw a book. It was a translated book that Linlin asked a foreign friend to buy.

That book is called Multiple Personalities.

After reading that book, I suddenly had an epiphany and many things became clear to me at once.

According to the book, multiple personality disorder is a protective measure I developed after suffering a huge trauma, which is actually a delusion. Multiple personalities, multiple characters, I lost a unified sense of my own character and thought we were different people.

The book says that only love can heal the wounds of the soul.

I hid behind Vincent, feeling his happiness. Being cared for by his family all the time made me more and more sober.

I became more and more aware that Vincent and I are one person. He is the purest side of me. I separated all my anger, darkness, love, and hate and created those friends.

Cheng Ruzhou, Junsheng, and Wensheng are all my imaginations. I am the final rational being.

But I still want to think they are friends, not just my crazy hysteria. In this way, I have been silent and crazy for half my life, but I have someone to accompany me, which is meaningful, and I am not just a fool or a madman.

Dongsheng had already taken revenge, and Linlin gave birth to a younger sister.

Baosheng is as pretty as a fairy and as smart as an elf.

I have a grandma, I have a mother, I have a sister, and I have a home.

They all love me, and I am truly complete.

Because I am becoming more peaceful and letting go of my obsessions, Cheng Ruzhou and Junsheng will disappear.

Maybe it's my turn now. Even if I disappear, I have nothing to fear and no regrets. Because for this family, Wensheng and Cheng Ruzhou are still alive around them.

I said goodnight to my family, using goodnight to express my farewell, and I hugged them one by one.

To be honest, I don’t really like hugging. I’m not as simple-minded as Vincent. I hate being restrained and I hate too close physical contact.

But I wanted to say goodbye to them and tell them that I loved them.

When I hugged Linlin, she was obviously confused and asked me, "Vincent, what's wrong with you?"

Yes, she is so smart and sensitive, she has studied so many spiritual books, and she knows me very well.

Although she didn't try to call my friends, she must know something.

I said goodnight to her and silently told her that I loved her forever. I fell asleep as Vincent fell asleep, and perhaps when I woke up the next day, I would have completely disappeared.

I had a wonderful dream. In the dream, my grandparents, parents said goodbye to me together, smiled happily at me, and told me to be well. As I watched them go away, I didn't chase them, nor did I cry. Instead, I felt a sense of peace.

I waved goodbye to them.

I woke up when the morning light shone on the earth and the rays of light shone into the windowsill.

I didn't disappear because I am Vincent.

I have been healed. I have let go of all the resentment, darkness, stubbornness and madness. Now I feel relaxed and happy both physically and mentally.

I was once again perfectly integrated with my body, without any obstacles, and my identity and emotional awareness were completely unified.

I understand Vincent's simplicity, with only love in his heart.

Although I have completely woken up, I don't want to go back to the normal rules that people know. I am still a Wensheng. I have grandparents, parents, brothers and sisters.

I will always be me.

I love you, I love every tree and blade of grass in the world, I love Linlin, I want to be a movie and drama star, I want to be the pride of our Cheng family, and be as outstanding as my family members.

I want to fall asleep under the starlight every day, wake up with the morning light every day, and walk forward step by step along the twists and turns of life. Every step will not feel lonely, panic, or resentful.

Whether I look back or look forward, there is light and love in my heart.

If life is a practice, I have experienced half a lifetime of madness and resentment, and finally I am willing to convert to innocence and kindness.

Hello everyone, I am Vincent, and my life has just begun.

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