Chapter 48 Leaving her deserves the best.

Gu Qiu arranged the follow-up matters extremely well. He first inquired with Yu Man and sent a message to the Yu family, only saying that she and Pei Ji were delayed for two days due to some business, so as not to worry the family. Afterwards, he somehow managed to obtain three meals a day, which, although not exquisite, were clean and warm.

Pei Ji was recuperating in the inner room, the door tightly shut for two days. When the incident occurred, Yu Man had endured it on instinct and sheer willpower, and hadn't felt anything amiss. Now that the storm had subsided, after sitting quietly in this secluded courtyard for two days, she had calmed down and was somewhat unsure how to face the person inside the door.

Instead of sitting idly in the courtyard, Yu Man started taking walks around the area every morning to clear her mind. Besides this house, a few other families were scattered at the foot of the mountain, mostly clustered further south. She strolled aimlessly, and after a while, she noticed many unfinished oil-paper umbrellas displayed outside the wall of one house. Various umbrella ribs and canopies hung on the wall as well. Even though she had seen many umbrellas before, she could tell the craftsmanship was excellent; it seemed to be a family that made their living by making umbrellas.

A young woman who was drying dyed cloth in the courtyard noticed Yu Man lingering at the door for a long time, her gaze fixed on the umbrellas. She rarely saw such a beautiful and elegant young woman, without makeup, her long black hair loosely tied up with a wooden hairpin. Though her clothes were simple, her refined beauty was undeniable. The woman warmly greeted her, "Young lady, are you here to see Uncle Yuquan? He went out to visit a friend this morning. If you wish to learn a craft, you'll have to come another day."

Yu Man came to her senses, gently shook her head, and said in a gentle voice, "Thank you, Auntie. I was just taking a look around; I didn't come here to become your apprentice."

The young woman realized she had misunderstood and blushed, explaining apologetically, "Oh, I see. I was being presumptuous. It's just that Uncle Yuquan's umbrella-making skills are among the best in the area, but he has very high standards and doesn't look down on ordinary people. He's so picky about his apprentices that it's a pity that such a good skill is going to be lost..." She rambled on, her voice filled with regret.

Yu Man casually agreed with a few words, and seeing that the sun was rising higher, he estimated that it was about time, so he said goodbye to the hospitable aunt and slowly walked back along the way he came.

As soon as I stepped into the courtyard, I noticed that the door, which had been tightly closed for two days, was now ajar. I could faintly hear voices coming from inside; it was Pei Ji's slightly weak voice:

"...Make sure everything is perfect, and only after you've safely taken her home should you do the rest."

"Yes, my lord," Gu Qiu replied respectfully. Seeing that Pei Ji had no further instructions, he withdrew. He glanced up and saw Yu Man standing in the courtyard. He paused almost imperceptibly, then bowed as usual and silently left the courtyard.

Yu Man stared at the half-open door, her steps faltering. Should she go in? What should she say? Should she not go in? That seemed too deliberate.

Just as she was hesitating, two suppressed coughs came from inside the room.

Her feet seemed to have a mind of their own, and she took a step forward involuntarily.

"Oh well, I'm already here," she said to herself.

Entering the room, she sat down on a stool about five steps away from the bed, and quietly looked at the person leaning against the headboard from this not-too-close, not-too-far distance.

Pei Ji's complexion was better than it had been two days ago, but it still had the pallor of blood loss, pale lips, and a lingering weariness between his brows and eyes.

He wore a clean white undergarment, his dark hair loose and casually draped over his shoulders, losing some of his usual aloofness and composure and gaining a sickly air. He quietly looked back at her, his eyes deep and unfathomable, churning with emotions that Yu Man couldn't understand, or rather, dared not delve into.

With just one glance, she quickly finished looking him over, then lowered her eyelids, staring at her fingertips without saying a word.

"Went to the south for a stroll?" Pei Ji finally broke the silence, his voice deliberately softening slightly compared to when he spoke to Gu Qiu earlier.

"Mmm," Yu Man responded softly.

"What fun things do you see?" he asked, as if trying to make conversation.

"I just... watched people dye and dry the cloth," she replied simply.

...

"Xiaoman".

Pei Ji.

The two spoke almost simultaneously, and then stopped abruptly at the same time.

Yu Man pursed her lips: "Go ahead and say it."

Pei Ji looked at her aloof profile, his Adam's apple bobbing, before he slowly said, "When Gu Qiu returns, he will send you back first. You've been out for two days, and even if you've sent a message, Uncle Yu and the others... will inevitably still worry about you." His arrangement was reasonable, and his tone was calm.

"Is your injury... feeling better?" Yu Man didn't respond to his question. Instead, she looked up and asked directly, her gaze fixed on his face.

Pei Ji paused for a moment, then said, "It's almost done."

"How many more days do I need to rest?" she pressed.

Pei Ji stared at her, as if he had easily guessed her little thoughts countless times before, seeing through the meaning behind her question. He was silent for a moment, then his voice lowered: "I... won't go back for now."

Yu Man frowned: "You still want to go back to the academy?" There was just a battle there, and Master Chu's attitude is unclear. How can it be a place to recuperate?

“No,” Pei Ji shook his head gently, avoiding her gaze, and reassured her with a smile, “I have somewhere else to go.” As for where he was going, he did not say, clearly not intending to let her know.

Yu Man looked at the smile on his face, a smile she had seen countless times before, but which now seemed irritating to her. She felt a surge of inexplicable irritation and blurted out, "I don't like your smile."

The smile slowly faded from Pei Ji's face. He lowered his eyes, his voice so soft it was almost inaudible:

"sorry."

An indescribable silence fell over the room.

Pei Ji's gaze fell on Yu Man's fingertips, which were unconsciously pinched until they turned red. He frowned slightly, but in the end, he couldn't help but say in a soft voice, "Don't pinch yourself."

The familiar, caring tone made Yu Man feel, for a moment, as if she had returned to those peaceful days of the past. She let go of his hand and muttered softly, "I'm not stupid."

Seeing that her expression had softened, Pei Ji continued to explain: "Back then, the Gongshan Army was divided into five. Apart from those who remained on the border and those who were scattered in various places, there were also many disheartened former soldiers who, or those who wanted to avoid trouble, quietly returned to the original fiefdom of the Prince of Yuzhang and went into hiding."

"Where?" Yu Man asked.

“Xunyang,” Pei Ji uttered.

Yu Man knew this place; it was located in Jiangnan, a prosperous and bustling area, but it was indeed very far from Laizhou, a thousand miles away.

"When are you coming back?" She looked up at him.

"During the spring imperial examinations," he answered confidently, which was next March, still several months away.

Another silence fell. Pei Ji gazed at her lowered eyes, his mind a whirlwind of emotions, dark feelings churning within him, ultimately culminating in a barely audible sigh.

"Xiaoman... let's postpone our wedding."

Yu Man felt she should have breathed a sigh of relief. This was her plan; having him speak first, she should have felt relieved. But inexplicably, her heart felt heavy, as if something was blocking it. She just stared at his pale face, unable to utter a single word.

Just then, Gu Qiu returned and whispered outside the door, "My lord, the carriages and horses are ready."

Pei Ji gave Yu Man a deep look, his eyes revealing only a seemingly calm emotion: "Let's go home."

“…Okay.” Yu Man stood up, her movements somewhat slow. She followed Gu Qiu, walking step by step towards the door. Just as her foot was about to cross the threshold, she stopped, without turning around, her voice carrying clearly:

“Pei Ji, I don’t necessarily want to be the wife of a prime minister.”

Her voice was calm, as if she were stating a very simple fact.

"Even if you live a peaceful and stable life here, it's not bad."

After she finished speaking, she didn't linger. She stepped out of the door and her figure quickly disappeared outside the courtyard.

Behind him, there was a long silence. Pei Ji leaned against the headboard, gazing in the direction she had disappeared. His left hand unconsciously rose, reaching out to grab something in the air, but in the end… he gained nothing.

A metallic taste rose in his throat, and he coughed violently, aggravating his wound. His right hand, hidden under the blankets, clenched tightly, causing the wound, which had just begun to heal, to burst open again, and blood instantly soaked the cuff of his undergarment, but he was completely unaware.

He lowered his head, looking at his empty palms, and murmured a sentence in a low, stubborn voice:

"But that... is what I should give you."

He originally thought that after Yu Man learned everything... even if she didn't flee immediately, she would at least sever all ties with him completely, filled with fear and disgust.

In the darkest corner of his heart, he had already rehearsed countless scenarios of her resolutely leaving.

But……

She didn't.

At least, at this moment, she didn't turn around and leave.

At least, they can still manage to say a few words in a way that can barely be considered calm and peaceful.

That's already...very good.

It was so good that he could savor a hint of sweetness from her words.

Why did he insist on leaving?

While the presence of former subordinates from Xunyang was certainly one reason, it was not the whole story, nor even the most important one.

Most importantly, he knew better than anyone else that these incidents were all related to him.

This time, he managed to protect her, and himself. But what about next time? And the time after that? As long as he's still by her side, those nagging, persistent problems will never stop.

Everything she cherishes could be overturned at any moment because of him.

He couldn't bear to part with it.

What do blood feuds or old grudges have to do with him?

But he couldn't do it, so she could only choose to live a secluded life in a remote corner.

Therefore, he had to leave.

...

When Yu Man returned home, she didn't even have the appetite to eat and immediately fell into a deep sleep. Yu Chengfu and Deng Sanniang assumed she was just tired from her trip and discussed with concern what delicious food they could make for her to help her recover.

In his dream, Yu Man returned to the birthday celebration many years ago.

That day, a sacrificial ceremony was held at the City God Temple, drawing a huge crowd. She and Pei Ji went out together but were unexpectedly separated by the throng. Remembering their promise, she waited at the temple entrance until a light rain began to fall, wetting her hair, at which point she started to worry. Just then, Pei Ji, holding an umbrella, came through the misty rain. When she saw him, she first breathed a sigh of relief, then felt a little aggrieved, pointing to her slightly disheveled, rain-streaked hair, before pursing her lips and remaining silent.

Pei Ji coaxed her in a low voice for a long time, showing great patience.

She remained silent, deliberately turning her face away from him.

Pei Ji said helplessly, "I'll make you crab meat lion's head meatballs tomorrow."

That was one of her favorite dishes, a complicated recipe, but he rarely made it, simply because someone always suffered from indigestion.

Yu Man's ears twitched, but she still resisted the urge to turn around.

Pei Ji thought for a moment, then added, "Make two portions."

Yu Man finally couldn't help but turn her face, her eyes brightening for a moment, but she still remained reserved and didn't speak.

"Three portions," she bargained.

"You shouldn't let your food accumulate." He shook his head, his expression disapproving.

"No," she assured.

"Xiaoman," he called her, his tone as usual.

"...Alright then." She finally agreed reluctantly, but a smile quietly crept onto her lips.

The two walked hand in hand into the increasingly dense rain.

However, the dream abruptly shifted. Pei Ji's figure gradually blurred and disappeared around her, until she was left alone, holding an umbrella all alone in the deserted rainy alley.

Yu Man suddenly woke up from his dream, opened his eyes, stared at the familiar tent ceiling, and was stunned for a moment. The soft footsteps of Deng San Niang came from outside.

She suddenly spoke, her voice still hoarse from just waking up: "Mother, I want to eat crab meat lion's head meatballs."

Hearing this from outside the door, Deng Sanniang quickly replied, "Okay, okay, I'll go and ask Shanniang to do it right away."

"Two portions, please," Yu Man added.

"Okay, two portions." She readily agreed, then remembered something and said, "Oh, by the way, there's a lady outside looking for you. She says she's from the prefectural wine shop."

Yu Man remembered. She took a deep breath, suppressing the lingering melancholy from her dream, and got up, throwing off the covers: "Is it just outside? I'll go check right now."

"Alright, go ahead, I'll watch the fire for you." Seeing that she seemed to be in better spirits, Deng San Niang felt relieved.

On the official road ten miles from Dongqing County, two fine horses rode side by side. Xi Queping looked at Pei Ji beside him, who kept looking back and whose face was pale, and couldn't help but say, "Are we still going? We can't see him anymore even if we look again."

Pei Ji turned around and looked at the long road ahead: "Let's go."

Xi Queping, who was on par with him, finally couldn't help but ask, "Why bother? Lady Yu has already said that you don't have to fight for the position of prime minister. It's good enough to live a peaceful life."

Pei Ji: "It's what I want to give her. She deserves the best."

Upon hearing this, Xi Queping nearly choked on his own saliva and couldn't help but say, "...Then you're mistaken. If we're talking about the most noble woman in the world, shouldn't it be the Empress, not the Prime Minister's wife?"

Pei Ji finally glanced at him, then turned back.

Xi Queping quickly waved his hand: "I was just joking! Please don't take it seriously! Hey, say something! Don't actually think about rebelling! That's a sure way to lose your head!"

Pei Ji gazed at the withered branches rushing past on both sides of the official road for a long time before whispering, "It all depends on what she wants in the future."

Xi Queping: "..." I must have had nothing better to do than tell you this!

But looking at Pei Ji's undeniably handsome profile, he couldn't help but sigh inwardly.

His junior brother was indeed in a difficult situation. The old man's attitude was ambiguous; seemingly teaching him, but actually setting restrictions at every turn, clearly intending to confine Pei Ji to this corner of Dongqing, letting the bloodline of the Prince of Yuzhang quietly disappear from the world. He had once asked the old man, if he was so wary, why not just kill him? Why take him in as a student and teach him literature and martial arts? Wasn't that just raising a tiger to cause trouble?

The old man simply shook his head and said, "We should be lenient and forgiving towards the descendants of the deceased."

Xi Queping was truly speechless.

This old man is also deeply troubled by inner demons. Between killing and not killing, he still insists on finding a reason that satisfies both sides. How can there be a perfect solution in this world? Now that Pei Ji's power has grown stronger, how can he be easily trapped? Now that he is going to the old place of Xunyang, isn't he thinking of tearing a hole in the net that Master Chu has laid?

Thinking this way, he felt an even stronger, inexplicable respect for his junior brother.

Humans are born into this world, and they have to fight against this damned fate, otherwise their lives will not have been in vain!

A gentle breeze swept across the official road, stirring up dust and withered leaves. The two men fell silent, spurred their horses, and their figures gradually disappeared at the end of the road.