Journey

After his grandfather left, Bai Shunan picked up the alarm clock that he had noticed on the table since he entered the house. Not a single needle was moving. He opened the drawer and, relying on his chaotic memory, dug out the spare batteries. Bai Shunan opened the back cover of the alarm clock, replaced the batteries, adjusted the time and pressed the button. Still, not a single needle was willing to move. He stopped where he was, looking at the alarm clock that had stopped time, and subconsciously whispered to himself: "It's my fault. I made you fall so many times. You deserve to be bad."

Bai Shunan walked over to a chair by the wall and sat down, wondering how long he could stay here, what to do with his things, what to send, what to throw away, what to keep. He looked down at his empty palms. Many nights ago, he had sat here like this, always clutching a bunch of recruitment flyers. No matter what material the paper was made of, it wouldn't last long in his hands before it became wrinkled, along with the resume he'd printed out after so much thought.

During those countless sleepless nights he spent in the corner, he would always think of Lu Jinfeng unconsciously. But that was the time when he least wanted to see Lu Jinfeng, but he could see him every day, appearing in front of him.

The confusing thoughts in his mind would always find a way in at these times, gradually deepening the extremely contradictory feeling of being pulled, and would accompany him everywhere, while pulling him down, as if he had fallen into a bottomless pit, with no end, and he would keep falling.

Whenever the memory started to creep back, Bai Shunan would do whatever he could to smother it, but this time, he wasn't willing to do so, just as he wasn't willing to admit he hadn't let it go. While it was clear that more of the time they'd spent together in this house was spent together, he remembered more of the time he'd spent alone, and the years since he'd left. Many of those days had truly existed, yet not a single vestige of them remained in his memory.

Waiting for something untraceable, Bai Shunan fueled his imagination. But at a certain point, he realized that even his imagination was singular. After realizing this, a long-held thought began to recur. He didn't know what to do. Countless impulses were extinguished, but the thought of leaving remained quietly deep within, flickering and intermittently affecting the ordinary things he saw. Amidst the repeated disappointments and rejoicing over the failed conclusions of leaving, the longer he lived, the closer he felt to death.

The rainy day that really made him decide to leave has always had a special and complicated feeling in his heart, and he also understands that he is very grateful that this happened.

The light of setting sun shone through the window and fell on his hand. He looked over and heard a crisp sound from the door. Bai Shunan seemed to see a familiar figure from many years ago pushing the door open. It was not accompanied by the sunset, but Bai Shunnian who walked into the house with the cool evening breeze outside, with the bright smile on his face that he was familiar with.

Everything transformed into the scenery of his youth. Bai Shunan seemed to be breathing the air of that time. His pulse, heartbeat and even body became the same as they were then. Everything he felt was stained with the moisture of that time.

There were plenty of words between them.

He murmured "Brother", with similar eyebrows and eyes to Bai Shunan, and the same expression as before.

The alarm clock rang suddenly, and everything in the house returned to the dilapidated state of being uninhabited for a long time. Cobwebs were all over the corners, as if the brief moment of flow was just the afterimage left by the house.

Bai Shunan suddenly became very curious about what his grandfather was looking at at that time.

The dampness turned into a sticky, viscous feeling close to reality, a feeling of melancholy and depression. Bai Shunan looked at the locked door in front of him, then shifted his gaze to the window. Outside, branches swayed, and the warm sunlight always streamed into the somewhat abandoned house. He quietly waited for time to pass. A smile formed on his lips, but it easily faded away. He finally decided that he no longer needed anything in this house.

After three months, the house sale came to an end.

Bai Shunan returned home, planning his next move and settling down. Unpacking a pile of packages, he discovered a wedding invitation from Ji Xian. Startled, he ignored the rest. He immediately booked a flight and hotel for the date, indirectly ignoring another package also from Ji Xian.

In order to avoid missing the wedding, Bai Shunan planned to go two days in advance. As soon as he took a step, he almost tripped over the threshold. He staggered forward two steps to steady himself. Thus, an unfortunate journey began.

The shrill crying of a child woke up Bai Shunan, who had fallen asleep after taking medicine. Before he opened his eyes, he felt a strong sense of weightlessness in his body, as if something was pushing on his eardrum, and a burst of tinnitus came over him. The sound from the radio was sometimes far away and sometimes near, and he could not distinguish it.

Bai Shunan opened his eyes and subconsciously supported himself on the seat in front of him. Something was thrown into the air in front of him. Screams from the surroundings started and stopped at the same time. The people in front of him, including himself, were shaking in different arcs.

The plane gradually stabilized, then suddenly, another turbulence started, and bright light shone in. Bai Shunan's hands, which were supporting themselves on the seat, were shaking, and he kept talking to himself in his heart. Not long after, the plane made an emergency landing. Bai Shunan had the idea of ​​complaining to the sky.

After waiting for several hours, the plane took off again. Bai Shunan looked at the darkening sky outside the window, and his bad premonition became more and more real. Since this takeoff, he has become much more sensitive to smells and is tired of all the smells he smells. He tried to fall asleep, but was disturbed by the intermittent tinnitus and a stuffy feeling in his chest. Bai Shunan kept adjusting his breathing throughout the journey and didn't even dare to drink water, for fear that if he raised his head and then lowered it, he would vomit it out.

The lingering discomfort in his stomach tormented Bai Shunan throughout the entire journey. It was persistent and could not be ignored, and it was difficult to relieve it even after getting off the plane.

Bai Shunan stepped off the plane with a pale face. As he stepped onto the ground, he felt as if he were still in the air. He froze for a moment before slowly picking up his bag and going to exchange some currency. Exhausted, he was eager to get to his pre-booked hotel and rest. He studied the route Ji Xian had sent him. Ji Xian had originally planned to pick him up, but Bai Shunan, too confident in his adaptability, said no. He never expected that just three hours later, Bai Shunan would deeply regret saying no.

He spent some time comparing the symbols and letters with those in the picture, took a few steps forward, and when the train arrived, he got on without much hesitation.

The surroundings were noisy during the journey. For Bai Shunan, this kind of noise was often too hypnotic. He was used to having some noises in his ears. Bai Shunan shook his head back and forth, falling asleep and waking up. It was two hours later when he realized that not only had he gone to the wrong stop, but his bag had also been stolen.

Bai Shunan listened to the prompt tone with dejected despair. He looked around but could not find any trace of the bag. He broke out in a cold sweat with a feeling of emptiness in his body. As soon as the train stopped, he looked at the train going away. He was getting farther and farther away from his destination.

It's okay, Bai Shunan thought, there's still time. Before he could even reflect, he took a step forward, immediately contacting the staff and calling the police. He was eager to head to the nearest police station, but his phone was snatched away on the way.

Bai Shunan stood there, taking a deep breath. If he couldn't catch it, he felt like he was going to die. He continued walking, imagining the worst-case scenario of missing the wedding. Even if he did, Jixian wouldn't blame him. With this in mind, Bai Shunan recalled the route he had taken when the phone last left his sight. Turn left and walk a few steps to the police station.

It was only after entering the police station that Bai Shunan realized the language barrier. He knew English, but the people here didn't speak it. Fortunately, he had spent a day learning the local language beforehand, so when he actually started communicating, it wasn't as difficult as he had imagined. He wrote and gestured to make sure the other party understood, observing their reactions. Believing he had successfully filed a police report, Bai Shunan looked around and realized that perhaps these types of cases happened so frequently that not many people at the police station took them seriously.

After all this trouble, Bai Shunan calmed down. He had given up hope of getting his things back, so he walked out of the police station and sat down at a table outside a cafe, ordering a cup of strong coffee and a sweet donut. Bai Shunan sat there lost in thought, once again trying to recall Ji Xian's phone number which was blank in his memory. He turned around and saw the golden-pink sky reflected in the river, with golden ripples flowing. Bai Shunan was overwhelmed with emotions, and his mood fluctuated for a moment. The sun only appeared for a while in the afternoon, but when he thought about it, he didn't feel anything.

After drinking another cup of strong coffee, the sky gradually darkened. Bai Shunan's heart was suddenly filled with a wave of reluctance, soaking his mind. The anxious thoughts of rushing on the road stopped, and he realized that he really wanted to attend that wedding.