Chapter 164 Perhaps, he could love himself a little more. (...)

One hundred and sixty-four:

That night, Ye Qingxi had a dream.

He dreamed that he was fifteen years old.

By then, he had fallen from the peak of his popularity, and accusations, insults, and abuse seemed to come at him overnight.

He struggled, resisted, suffered, and despaired. Finally, on an ordinary night, he calmly used a fruit knife that he had hidden away at some unknown time to cut his wrist.

But he did not die.

Death refused to take him in, so he returned to the human world.

After that, whether out of fear that he would go to extremes again, or simply because he hadn't found a suitable role, his parents stopped forcing him to join productions and film television shows that he didn't want to make.

He gained a rare and brief period of peace.

At that time, Ye Qingxi often just spaced out.

Lying in bed lost in thought, or lost in thought while reading.

He dared not watch television or movies—those were all films he had made.

So he only dared to read books, play games, or watch live streams.

Live streaming was already very popular at that time.

They broadcast all sorts of things.

One day, while browsing live streams, Ye Qingxi accidentally entered a live stream room where a middle-aged man was singing. His singing was very melancholic and sorrowful. Ye Qingxi listened silently, and before she knew it, half an hour had passed.

After that, he would often go to listen to the other person sing.

I also listen to other people sing.

After listening to them for a while, some melodies will unconsciously appear in your mind.

He used to learn piano, guitar, and drums for filming.

They were very serious when they studied.

At that time, he could vaguely feel fragments of melody swirling in his mind, about to burst forth.

At that time, his focus was on acting, and he only learned these things to fit the characters and bring them to life. Therefore, he didn't care much about the melodies that sometimes wanted to pop into his head.

But now, he no longer has any roles to play.

He stopped.

I have plenty of time left.

So, with nothing else to do, Ye Qingxi tried to write down the melody in her mind.

After he finished writing, he added lyrics.

That was Ye Qingxi's first song.

But it wasn't the first song he released to the public.

That song was filled with sadness, confusion, depression, and death; it was a reflection of Ye Qingxi's soul at that time.

However, Ye Qingxi did not want others to see his soul.

Therefore, he kept this song in his heart forever.

Ye Qingxi's first song to truly connect with the public was a song called "Summer Cicada".

This song is upbeat and has a summery feel to it, like a gentle breeze.

At that time, Ye Qingxi did not dare to show her true face to others.

Knowing that he was unpopular and disliked, he bought a mask online, covered his face completely, and then registered his own live streaming room.

In the beginning, of course, there weren't many people.

Fortunately, there were few people around at that time, which made Ye Qingxi feel more at ease.

He sang while talking to the few viewers in the live stream.

When he sang "Summer Cicada," a comment on the live stream asked him: "I can't find this online."

After singing, Ye Qingxi replied to him: "I wrote this myself."

He sounded visibly embarrassed when he said this, even though he thought that since he was wearing a mask, the audience shouldn't be able to tell. But his tone still betrayed his shyness.

The comments section then chimed in encouragingly: "[It sounds great.]"

Comments: [Time Silently gifted streamer [枯木] a space station, come check it out~]

Ye Qingxi: !!

Ye Qingxi was shocked: "There's no need to spend so much money."

Comments: [Time Silently gifted streamer [枯木] a space station, come check it out~]

Ye Qingxi: ...

The space station is the largest gift on the station, and it will be announced to the entire station after it is delivered.

Silent Years: [It's a very nice song, I hope more people can listen to it~]

Ye Qingxi could only express her gratitude by saying, "Thank you."

The display of the two space stations did indeed attract some new viewers.

A new viewer, seeing him wearing a mask, asked in confusion, "The streamer sings? Then why is he wearing a mask?"

Ye Qingxi: ...

Silent Time: [The host is young, sorry.]

Ye Qingxi: ...

Ye Qingxi nodded silently.

He didn't want people to focus on his face, fearing they would recognize him as Ye Qingxi, so he said, "I'll sing for everyone instead."

Time passes silently: [Singing "Summer Cicada"]

Ye Qingxi said "Oh" and obediently sang "Summer Cicada".

New audience members flooded the screen with comments like: "[It sounds amazing! The host's voice is so beautiful!]"

The streamer really does sound very young.

[Is the streamer a professional musician? He sings so well!]

Wait, why can't I find this song? Who is the original singer?

Silent Years: [The original singer is the streamer herself.]

New audience members were shocked: "The streamer is an original content creator!"

Ye Qingxi quickly replied, "No, I just wrote something casually."

[It's so good to just write whatever comes to mind!]

Wow! This streamer is amazing!

[The lyrics and music were originally written by the streamer; this streamer has potential!]

I shared the live stream with my friend so he could see what it means for professionals to do professional work!

[Please sing it again, it sounds so good!]

Ye Qingxi hummed in agreement and began to sing again.

[A cat owner sent a glow stick to streamer [枯木].]

[I don't own a cat, so I sent a donut to the streamer [枯木].]

I don't keep cats: [I like them.]

[You sing so well, why doesn't the streamer show their face?]

[The streamer's hands look pretty good, so her face must be nice too, right? How many followers do I need to unlock it?]

[Won't wearing a mask affect your singing?]

Ye Qingxi: ...

Ye Qingxi then remembered that there was also the existence of hand control, and they would pay extra attention to the hands.

Therefore, when he went on broadcast the next day, he wore black fingerless gloves and deliberately put a mole on the second joint of his ring finger.

To prevent his former fans from recognizing him.

If it weren't for playing the guitar, Ye Qingxi would have covered all her hands so she wouldn't have to deliberately get moles done and confuse the audience.

However, his new fans clearly misunderstood, thinking he was just shy, and jokingly commented: "[Host, you're really shy! You praised your hands yesterday, and today you're covering half of them too.]"

Haha, so cute!

[Host, you can't do this. You're too easily embarrassed.]

“No,” Ye Qingxi said.

He changed the subject, "Want to hear a new song? I wrote one yesterday?"

Live stream chat: !!!

Wow! Your content creation speed is incredible! Even the donkeys in the production team could be this diligent!

[Host, you really love creating content!]

[6 Wow, I didn't believe you before when you said you were creating original content, but now I do!]

Is creating music really that easy? It won't sound bad, will it?

Sing it quickly, I want to hear it!

Ye Qingxi slowly picked up her guitar and began to sing.

This rock song is very powerful when sung, and the lyrics are also very inspiring. The audience in the live broadcast room cheered after listening to it.

[It sounds great!]

I love this song!

This song is even better than "Summer Cicada"!

【Wow! Streamer, are you really not a professional content creator?!】

[Host, you could totally release a single with this! The quality is amazing.]

He also received private messages from people in the back office: "Want to be a singer? Want to release an album? Add me on WeChat."

Looking at his words, Ye Qingxi thought that if she could write ten songs, releasing an album would be a good idea.

However, he won't add such people on WeChat; he'll find someone to help him produce the album himself.

But who should we turn to?

The answer to this question finally came after Ye Qingxi finished writing her tenth song.

He recalled that when he was making a movie before, he added a female singer who sang the theme song for their movie.

Ye Qingxi still remembers that she was very friendly to him at the time, and even asked him for an autograph with a smile.

She sent him a message to comfort him when he had the accident.

Ye Qingxi contacted her somewhat nervously and shyly, asking if she could help her with this favor.

Sun Zhu was surprised, "Aren't you an actor? Why are you singing now?"

Ye Qingxi: "...Just singing whatever comes to mind."

“Then come on over,” Sun Zhu said readily. “Anyway, I’m free lately, so I have time to help you with your album.”

Ye Qingxi quickly thanked her.

An hour later, Sun Zhu listened to his song and said with a complicated expression, "You call this just singing casually?"

Then wouldn't she be even less than a casual person?!

Ye Qingxi: ...

Ye Qingxi felt that he wasn't just singing casually.

Which respectable singer would sing live on their channel?

"You wrote all of this yourself?" Sun Zhu asked incredulously.

Ye Qingxi nodded.

Sun Zhu looked at him, unsure of what to say for a long time.

She used to not believe that there were geniuses in the world.

She felt that everyone was pretty much the same.

But now, she has discovered that geniuses may indeed exist.

Sometimes, it just goes unnoticed.

Before today, who would have thought that Ye Qingxi could sing and write songs?

Everyone knows he was a child star. He started acting at the age of five. His acting skills are superb. At the age of thirteen, he won the Golden Laurel Award, which many actors dream of winning.

Everyone thought he was born to act; he was born to be an actor.

However, no one knows that, in addition to his acting skills, his musical talent is also outstanding.

“If you have time in the future, write me a song too,” Sun Zhu said with a smile.

Ye Qingxi did not refuse, and half a month later, he gave her the new song.

Along with the new song, his debut album was also released.

This album became an instant hit almost immediately upon its release.

The fans accumulated in the live broadcast room and those attracted by Sun Zhu's promotion brought the album's premiere popularity, quickly pushing the album, titled "Meeting Spring," to the top of the trending list. The audience members who entered the venue afterward quickly spread the album's reputation, and Ye Qingxi became an instant hit in the music scene.

Many people came to Sun Zhu to ask who this withered tree was, but Sun Zhu only said that it was someone they would never expect.

Many talent agencies also sent private messages to Kumu's live stream account, expressing their desire to sign him.

Ye Qingxi didn't agree to any of them.

Seeing his popularity, fans in the live stream were worried he might become a professional singer, and many asked in the chat: "Will you continue singing in the live stream in the future?"

Ye Qingxi replied, "Mm."

He said, "I will still sing new songs for everyone first."

The fans are relieved.

The live streaming platforms are now relieved.

And so, Ye Qingxi stayed in the live stream room called [枯木] from May to December.

He released three albums, each a huge hit, with five to seven highly popular songs on each album, which shocked the music scene at the time.

Everyone was curious about who he was, all the talent agencies wanted to sign him, everyone was talking about him that year, and he became the most popular idol among all teenagers.

He was like a sudden hurricane, arriving without warning but with overwhelming force, lifting everyone high into the air and leaving everyone stranded in the storm he brought!

The name "Kumu" (枯木), which is so ordinary, even somewhat lifeless and boring, became the two most dazzling words of that year.

Under these circumstances, it was only natural that various TV stations extended invitations to him for their New Year's Eve galas.

Ye Qingxi did not respond; he dared not go.

He was afraid someone would recognize him.

I'm afraid my mask will fall off.

I don't want everyone to know, but Kumu is Ye Qingxi.

But he still wanted to go.

He didn't want to sing while wearing a mask for the rest of his life.

He wanted everyone to know that he was Ye Qingxi.

He didn't think he had done anything wrong a year ago.

He struggled and hesitated before stepping onto the New Year's Eve stage.

The stage was huge that day, and there were many audience members. Some fans had ordered his light sticks and put them up early in the morning.

It is the green that conceals his selfish motives.

It is the green that belongs to Ye Qingxi.

It was the green he had seen before.

It's just that now it has a different name.

But it is also his name.

Ye Qingxi looked at the audience below the stage, at the fans holding up his light sticks.

He was so familiar with all of this, so attached to it. This was the place where he had grown up, and he knew what was here even with his eyes closed.

Ye Qingxi slowly began to sing the song that was most suitable for her to sing at the New Year's Eve.

The audience waved their light sticks and sang along with him.

After he finished singing, they gave him a warm round of applause.

The host walked onto the stage, smiling and talking to him. After finishing, he asked him, "Do you know what everyone is most curious about this year?"

Ye Qingxi asked, "What?"

"This is your true face. Today is New Year's Eve, so can you take off your mask to fulfill your fans' wishes?"

These were lines that had already been written, representing Ye Qingxi's final decision.

The audience below the stage immediately cheered in surprise.

Viewers in front of their televisions stared in disbelief at their screens, their eyes glued to the screen.

"I'm afraid everyone will be disappointed after seeing it," Ye Qingxi said.

The audience shouted, "No way!"

The host also said, "No, no matter what you are like, everyone's love for you will never change."

He loudly asked the audience, "Isn't that right?!"

The audience answered even louder: "Yes!"

Ye Qingxi looked at them, feeling uneasy, hesitant, nervous, and... fearful.

He didn't want to experience it again, when those who once loved him looked at him with disgust and contempt.

It's as if having ever liked him is a disgrace, a stain.

But he also wanted to rekindle their love and let them know that having liked him wasn't something shameful.

With these feelings in mind, Ye Qingxi slowly, gently, removed the mask covering her face.

He raised his head and looked back at the audience.

The scene erupted in uproar.

Viewers in front of their televisions could hardly believe their eyes.

Then, as Ye Qingxi's heart pounded with anxiety, unsure of what the outcome would be, thunderous applause erupted from the audience, along with a deafening roar of his name.

Ye Qingxi thus returned to the top of the entertainment industry, even more popular than when he fell from grace.

What doesn't kill him only makes him stronger and elevates him to a higher position.

Those who hated him, loathed him, and wanted to replace him all gave up completely on this day and this night.

He is a true genius, a genius in the entertainment industry.

It's a legend in this circle, the most precious gift God has given to this circle.

Even his haters have to admit that he was born to belong to this circle and was born to live in the spotlight.

When Ye Qingxi woke up, it was already broad daylight. Sunlight streamed through the transparent French windows, falling on his face and warming the surroundings.

For a moment, Ye Qingxi couldn't tell whether she was five or fifteen years old.

He raised his hand, sunlight swirling around his soft fingers.

It's a five-year-old's hand.

He was dreaming.

Ye Qingxi turned over, facing the sunlight.

Perhaps it was because he was standing on the stage again, still wearing a mask, that he couldn't help but dream of his former self.

I dreamt of the moment I took off my mask.

After that day, he stopped wearing the mask.

His fans left messages in the live stream hoping he would hold a concert.

Ye Qingxi had never driven one before and was quite curious.

Concerts are more lucrative than performing, so his parents hardly hesitated.

So, sixteen-year-old Ye Qingxi began to busy herself with concerts.

Busy singing, busy writing songs.

Until Tian Qiu came to find him.

Director Tian Qiu had worked with him when he was thirteen years old. He is a director that Ye Qingxi likes very much and is also a well-known director in the film industry.

At that time, Ye Qingxi was no longer so enthusiastic about acting.

He prefers music, and he feels that he can control music and make only the music he likes.

But Tian Qiu asked him, "Really?"

He said, "You really don't want to act anymore?"

Ye Qingxi nodded.

Tian Qiu said, "Xiao Xi, you're being very unfair to yourself."

"Everyone in the world is afraid of their pearls being covered in dust, but you would rather your pearls be covered in dust. This is a waste of your talent. You are clearly capable of walking on two legs, so why do you choose to rely on only one thing?"

Ye Qingxi remained silent.

Tian Qiu said, "Give me a chance, and give you another chance. We all know you love acting; you were born to perform. You haven't won the highest acting award yet. Won't you feel resentful leaving at this point?"

"If you couldn't do it in the first place, that would be fine, but you clearly have the ability, and I'm willing to give you this stage. Do you really want to give up?"

"Ye Qingxi, I hope you can come. I will wait for you for three months. If you are still unwilling after three months, I will consider other actors."

Ye Qingxi watched his departing figure, hesitated for a long time, and finally went to find him in the third month.

They collaborated on the film that won him the Golden Phoenix Award at one of the three major international film festivals.

On the day he received the award, Tian Qiu straightened his collar and said to him, "It's a good thing you still acted."

Thinking of this and these words, Ye Qingxi was overwhelmed with mixed feelings in an instant.

He thought of last night again, of his performance with Mu Shaoting, of the light stick Mu Shaowu held up, of the fans' love for Murong Qing on the trending topics, and of those memories he had forgotten, memories that had long been frozen with his death.

Those memories, like falling snowflakes, came crashing down in an instant.

It was so heavy it resembled an avalanche.

Those were his memories of thirteen years, from childhood to adolescence, from acting to singing, from having nothing to raising the Golden Phoenix trophy high.

That was almost his entire life.

Suddenly, Ye Qingxi remembered her acceptance speech when she won the Golden Phoenix Award for Best Actor.

He said, "I am very happy that I participated in this movie, and I am also very happy that director Tian Qiu came to me at that time, was willing to wait for me, and persuaded me to participate in this movie."

“I was exposed to television at the age of five and to movies at the age of twelve. Over the years, the roles I have played are like my life stories and my friends. Many people say that for people like us who have been acting since we were young, acting has become a job and we have lost our love for it.”

"But actually, that's not the case. To play a role well, the first thing you have to do is to love the role. Without love, it would be difficult to get through twelve years, and it would be difficult to play so many roles."

"I can't say that I like every role I play, because sometimes I don't have control over the script. But I can say that I really enjoy acting. I like Qiao Ling very much, and I'm grateful to him, Director Tian, ​​and the judges for letting me win the Golden Phoenix Award this time."

"In the future, I hope I can carry this passion with me, play more roles that I like, act in more works that I like, sing more of my own songs, and make my life more meaningful."

"Thanks!"

Yes, Ye Qingxi thought, no matter how stubborn he was, deep down he always loved the career he was engaged in.

Thirteen years! How could anyone have persevered without love?

How could it be possible to have actually produced so many works and received so many awards?

He is certainly a genius, but he also genuinely prepares for each role seriously and strives to perform to the best of his ability.

At this moment, Ye Qingxi finally allowed her frozen passion to crack open and reveal the blood within.

He reached out and touched it; it was still burning hot.

No matter when, it remains in the place where it left it, waiting for its arrival.

Wait for him, and pick him up again.

He had loved his talent, hated his talent, loathed his talent, and abandoned his talent.

But it always waited there.

Wait until the moment he needs it.

Like the most loyal puppy, no matter what its owner does, it will never get angry or leave its owner.

She will just obediently stay by his side.

At that moment, Ye Qingxi felt a pang of sadness for it.

He picked up his puppy.

He thought that perhaps he could love himself a little more.

He has faced life and death, met a new family, and his new family can unhesitatingly refuse concert invitations on his behalf. His new family is always willing to tolerate, love, and support him.

Perhaps he could love himself a little more.

I love his talent.

I love his strengths.

He loved the extraordinary gift God had given him.

He should not fail to live up to God's love.

Wasting one's talent.

Being an ordinary person is certainly a stable life.

But what's wrong with his talent?

People like Murong Qing.

People like dead wood.

Why can't people in this world like Ye Qingxi?

Mu Shaowu was able to become an actor despite his lack of acting skills, driven by his passion.

Mu Shaoting can confidently sing her heart out on stage because of her love for music.

They may be suited to this circle or not, but they all love themselves and are walking their own paths.

He is the one most suited for this circle.

Shouldn't we also love ourselves a little more?

On this day, Ye Qingxi decided to rekindle the passion that had long been frozen in her heart.

He wanted to love himself more.

I want to live a better life in this world.

Like his father and aunt, no matter what lies ahead, they can say with a clear conscience, "At least in this life, I love myself very much."

When he lived in love, in abundant love, he finally began to have the courage to love himself again.

I love myself more than ever before.