Chapter 67 Coming Out

Cheng Che came in and saw Li Zimai and turned away. Zhou Xumao and Yang Mingxi laughed beside him, "What a coincidence, you are eating here too."

Li Zimai said nothing.

This was the first time he had seen Cheng Che in a week. He didn't know if it was just a psychological effect, but he always felt that Cheng Che had lost weight and looked ugly, as if he was about to faint at any moment. Seeing Cheng Che was about to leave, he grabbed him and explained, "I didn't call you. I only found out after I got here."

Zhou Xumao and Yang Mingxi nodded quickly, "It really was a chance encounter."

They left the place of trouble quickly.

In the quiet space, there was a suffocating indifference and silence. No one spoke, and everyone was afraid that this moment of peace would be torn apart.

Li Zimai stood there, many images flashing through his mind: the kiss on the day they officially fell in love, Cheng Che crying in his arms, and him looking down at the scar between Cheng Che's eyebrows. Cheng Che loved pinching his face and kissing the tip of his nose. He clearly loved Li Zimai, yet he was so cruel that he didn't want him.

Finally, Cheng Che broke the silence. He calmly said to Li Zimai as if he was giving a business briefing, "I'll find time to come to the apartment to get the rest of my things. If you need to go back to the dormitory, let me know in the group chat in advance. I'll be out."

"Is that all you want to tell me?"

Li Zimai's voice was hoarse, revealing helplessness and sadness. "Why are you so impatient to cut ties with me?"

Cheng Che said nothing, as if he wanted to cut off all ties with Li Zimai and leave him decisively.

Li Zimai's eyes were red, so red that he couldn't hide any emotion. He had clearly decided to have a good talk with Cheng Che before coming here, to talk about the contradiction Cheng Che thought was there, and about the person he least wanted to mention. But at this point, he saw Cheng Che's indifferent face and couldn't say anything.

He could only explain with the most impoverished language, as if to comfort himself: "Xu Sinian came to see you that day, and you knew about it, right? You knew that I had been contacting someone you didn't want to contact without telling you, so you got angry..."

"I'm not angry." Cheng Che interrupted him, "I just want to break up with you, do you understand?"

Time seemed to stand still. If it weren't for the rustling wind outside the window hitting the glass, they could have heard each other's slow and heavy breathing.

"...Are you really going to break up with me?"

Li Zimai asked many times, each time begging Cheng Che to take back his harsh words, asking Cheng Che to come back, asking them to love each other like before, but Cheng Che just wouldn't turn back. He expressed his determination with silence and refused to turn back.

Li Zimai laughed. He felt as if his heart was being pressed down by something heavy, and breathing became difficult. "You never thought about being with me for a long time, did you?"

"You don't want to see your ex-boyfriend, don't want to see your friends, don't want to be pointed at on the street, those are all excuses. You don't... you don't even want to be with me for a long time..."

"If you had thought about our future, you wouldn't treat me like this. You wouldn't run away when you encounter problems. No matter how I ask you, you won't tell me. What do you want me to do? Tell me... What can I do..."

He was choking up at the end, "I just don't want you to be sad. What did I do wrong..."

Cheng Che remained silent. Li Zimai could only see his back. He used to like hugging Cheng Che from behind and holding him in his arms. Cheng Che would then turn around and kiss him. They had been so happy not long ago. Why did Cheng Che insist on breaking up and being so cruel to him?

"Cheche, please don't be angry, please don't break up... don't break up with me..."

His voice became weaker and weaker, because he saw the look in Cheng Che's eyes when he looked back at him. It was so cold, as if he had never loved him at all. How could his Che Che look at him like that?

Cheng Che said, "When you are free, make a list for me and I will return the money to you. If Cheng Lijia calls you again in the future, don't answer."

"...Lizimai, let's just leave it at that."

How could he say in such a calm tone that we should just leave it like this? What did that mean? Did it mean that he was breaking up with him forever and that he would never look back? Li Zimai had never felt such a deep fear before. He stubbornly and fearfully hugged Cheng Che, not letting him go. He lost all his pride and begged him, "Cheche, please don't break up, please don't break up..."

Something warm flowed down Cheng Che's neck. Li Zimai shouldn't be like this. He was the moon in the sky and the most beautiful flower. How could he cry for Cheng Che?

"Do you really have to do this? Do you have to make our last meeting so awkward?"

Cheng Che ignored the hole that had already opened up somewhere in his heart and said calmly yet cruelly, "Can we part ways amicably? I don't want to remember you like this in the future."

Zhou Xumao went into the private room again. Li Zimai was sitting alone eating. He looked at Li Zimai cautiously. The other's eyes were frighteningly red. It was obvious that he had been crying. Zhou Xumao had known Li Zimai for so many years and had never seen him cry. This time he was really sad. He had no idea how to comfort Li Zimai.

"Can you go out?" Li Zimai said.

Zhou Xumao trembled and advised: "Don't hold it in. If you want to cry, just cry. I won't laugh at you, really."

Li Zimai laughed angrily, "Why should I cry? It's just a breakup, don't worry."

You are not in the state of “that’s all” now, Zhou Xumao complained in his heart.

After a while, Li Zimai finished eating, still politely wiping his mouth and hands. Finally, he took out his phone and typed a few words before saying to Zhou Xumao, "If you don't want to see me get dumped again, don't do this kind of thing."

Zhou Xumao nodded quickly. This was a thankless task, so he just let it be.

They paid the bill and walked to the underground garage. Li Zimai asked him, "Shall I take you home?"

Zhou Xumao saw that he was quite normal, so he replied: "I'll ask the driver to pick you up. Send me a message when you get home."

"Don't be so annoying, I'm not your boyfriend. Send me a message when you get home."

Zhou Xumao was relieved to see that he could still talk dirty, "Okay then, be careful."

He watched Li Zimai's car drive away, not even turning on the lights. That's when he realized something was amiss. His phone started buzzing with notifications and countless screenshots asking him: "Is Li Zimai coming out?!"

Zhou Xumao clicked on the large picture and saw that it was from Li Zimai’s circle of friends half an hour ago [Yes. I like men.]

Shit! He knew something was wrong!

News of Li Shen's attraction to men spread like wildfire, becoming a viral sensation at Hua University and even in the university town. Previously, Li Zimai had only come out at home. Aside from a few friends, few outside his circle knew about his sexual orientation. Furthermore, given the status of the Jiang family's second young master, few dared to provoke him.

This incident in the circle of friends directly shocked the entire rainbow circle in Beijing. People of all ages came to inquire whether it was the second young master of the Jiang family and whether he was a pure 1.

Li Zimai's candid photos were spread all over various social networking sites, and Jiang Xun couldn't suppress it. When he came back from abroad, his younger brother had become a hot commodity in the gay circle, and his business partners came to ask if his younger brother had a partner and said they would introduce their sons to one.

Jiang Xun went straight to Li Zimai's apartment in Huada University after getting off the plane. He went there in too much of a hurry and found nothing there. After calling his assistant, he learned that his brother had moved on a whim. Jiang Xun rushed to the new house and saw someone smoking in a lounge chair on the balcony while basking in the sun.

"Didn't you quit smoking? Why are you still smoking?"

Li Zimai took off his sunglasses and looked at him, "I'm out of inspiration, why not have one?"

Jiang Xun looked at the neatly filled ashtray and asked, "Are you going to have one?"

Li Zimai put on his sunglasses again and stared at the planes in the sky.

Jiang Xun had heard about the news that Li Zimai was dumped. He originally thought it was just a minor quarrel that would go away in a few days, but his assistant told him that Li Zimai went to the company and used his connections to ban Xu Sinian. Jiang Xun then took it seriously. His brother was an optimistic person with a calm temper. Apart from the quarrel with his family about not playing the cello, he had never done anything out of the ordinary. Ruining someone's future was nothing to him.

Jiang Xun set aside an entire afternoon to comfort his heartbroken brother and asked him what was going on.

Li Zimai smiled and said it was nothing at first, it was just a breakup, they had broken up several times before. Later, Jiang Xun said, "I thought you really liked him. I originally wanted to discuss it with your mother and visit his elders to make your relationship official."

Li Zimai suddenly fell silent, and when he spoke again, it was all in an unbearable whisper, "...He doesn't want me anymore."

Jiang Xun frowned. He had never seen his brother look so miserable. It looked like he was about to burst into tears if he asked one more question.

"I've tried everything, soft and hard, but he just doesn't want me anymore. What can I do? I begged him so much but he refused to come back and told me to break up with him."

Li Zimai's eyes turned red again as he spoke, his throat tightened, and he felt so uncomfortable that his heart was empty. "How could he be so cruel? He broke up with me just like that. Doesn't he know how sad I am?"

For so many days, Li Zimai endured the heartburn and longing every night. On the one hand, he was worried that his Cheche was not doing well, and on the other hand, he was angry at Cheng Che for being so cruel and never thinking about staying with him for a long time.

Jiang Xun put out the cigarette in his hand and asked step by step: "What are you going to do next?"

Li Zimai shook his head and said stubbornly, "I didn't agree. We didn't break up. He just needs time to calm down. He will forgive me."

Jiang Xun frowned, "Who taught you to be so persistent? Do you want to force others?"

"I didn't!" Li Zimai said anxiously, "I didn't think of forcing him! I didn't think... I, I couldn't bear it."

He had thought about it, he actually thought about it. When Cheche broke up with him, he thought about locking Cheche up and not letting her leave. He also thought that if Cheche broke up with him again, he would never let her leave that house.

Li Zimai never knew that he would have such dark thoughts. He actually wanted to deprive someone of his personal freedom, and that person was his most beloved Cheche.

Jiang Xun understood, "Cheng Che's wish is to break up with you. You should let go when you know this relationship cannot be salvaged."

Li Zimai interrupted him anxiously, "It can be saved! He loves me, and I love him too, so why can't it be saved? I can resolve all those contradictions and excuses he made, so why can't it be saved?"

He was still unwilling to believe that Cheng Che really didn't want him anymore.

"For two people to be together for a long time, love is only a small part of it. Values, family, and future life path are more important factors. Cheng Che is younger than you, but he understands better than you, so he can cut his losses in time."

Li Zimai laughed at himself, "You mean he chose to give up on me after weighing the pros and cons?"

What Li Zimai cared about was never family or a compatible life path. What he cared about was that Cheng Che never thought about his future, always put him last, and never loved him wholeheartedly.

Jiang Xun calmly advised: "You should respect his decision. Maybe in a few years, when you are more mature, you can continue this relationship."

Li Zimai remained silent. He looked at the gradually darkening night sky and calmed down. "...Brother, you've never loved anyone before. You always use feelings as a measure of something. When you meet that person, you'll understand that feelings and reason are the most unequal."

His rationality is just because he doesn't love me enough.