candela

The autumn sunlight, with its transparent quality, filters through the sparse sycamore leaves, casting dappled shadows amidst the bustling crowd at the school gate.

Qi Shuo leaned against the car door, watching Tan Huaiyu slowly and laboriously move towards him, as if stepping on a knife's edge.

In those amber eyes, too many complex emotions surged—shock, heartache, helplessness, and a trace of deep, bone-deep regret that almost devoured him.

Tan Huaiyu's lips moved as if he wanted to say something, but his outstretched hand froze in mid-air before finally falling limply to the ground.

He opened his mouth, a few broken syllables escaping his throat, ultimately condensing into a sound so soft it was almost blown away by the wind:

"Brother Qi Shuo..."

This call, unlike the usual deliberate obedience or stubborn probing, was filled with genuine trembling and panic.

He saw it, saw it clearly. Qi Shuo had lost too much weight; his cheeks were sunken, making his jawline appear even sharper, yet also revealing an indescribable fragility.

Those once quiet yet sharp eyes now seemed to be covered with an indelible layer of ash, leaving only boundless weariness and an almost numb calm. Even the barely audible response carried a hoarse, worn quality.

That's wrong.

I made a mistake again.

This thought, like a poisonous ivy, instantly tightened around Tan Huaiyu's heart, almost suffocating him.

He originally thought that by making the girl named Ning Wan disappear, he could sever Qi Shuo's unnecessary connection with the outside world and return him to the scarred past that only they shared.

He thought that would bring Qi Shuo's attention back to him. But he never expected that what he would get in return was Qi Shuo's deeper self-isolation and visibly withered appearance.

Qi Shuo was willing to talk to him now, no longer completely ignoring him, but this response hurt him even more than the previous ignoring.

Because beneath this calm lies a bone-chilling cold, a sign of utter despair.

I'm sorry, Brother Qi Shuo.

sorry……

I've pushed you even further away.

I seem to... always mess things up.

I just... I just don't want you to be looking at other people.

A thousand apologies and explanations pounded in his chest, but he couldn't utter a single word.

He could only bite his lower lip hard, using the pain to maintain his faltering composure, looking greedily and painfully at Qi Shuo, who was so close yet seemed to be separated by an invisible chasm.

Qi Shuo's gaze was calm and unwavering, as if he were looking at an insignificant stranger.

He waited a few seconds, and seeing that Tan Huaiyu was just standing there with a pale face, he spoke softly, his voice flat: "Is there something wrong?"

The distant and polite questions were like a bucket of ice water, chilling Tan Huaiyu to the bone.

He snapped back to his senses, hurriedly lowering his eyelashes, not daring to meet those empty eyes again, his voice growing even softer: "No, nothing. I just, I just saw you and wanted to say hello."

He mustered his courage, raised his eyes, and tentatively asked, "Brother Qi Shuo... how... have you been lately?"

"It's alright." Qi Shuo's reply was brief and stingy, his tone indifferent and devoid of any emotion.

He stopped looking at Tan Huaiyu and instead looked past his shoulder at the surging crowd at the school gate, as if searching for something.

This obvious avoidance and gesture of ending the conversation left Tan Huaiyu with all the pale and powerless words of concern he had prepared stuck in his throat.

He stood there like a puppet whose strings had been removed, staring blankly at the cold, hard lines of Qi Shuo's profile, feeling the chill that kept people at a distance.

Just then, a familiar commotion arose at the school gate. Qin Zhou and Song Yungui, carrying heavy schoolbags, squeezed through the crowd while playfully bickering.

Qin Zhou, with his sharp eyes, spotted Qi Shuo leaning against the car immediately. He raised his arm and shouted at the top of his lungs, "Brother Shuo! Over here!"

Qi Shuo turned his head at the sound, and the indifference he had shown towards Tan Huaiyu on his face melted away slightly, like ice and snow meeting the sun. He nodded in their direction.

Qin Zhou and Song Yungui ran over quickly. Qin Zhou was taken aback when he saw Tan Huaiyu standing to the side, then greeted him casually, "Hey, Tan Huaiyu? You're out of school too?" Song Yungui also nodded politely.

Tan Huaiyu forced out a smile that looked worse than a grimace, as a response.

Qi Shuo didn't say anything more. He naturally reached out and took the backpacks from Qin Zhou and Song Yungui's shoulders, turned around, opened the back door of the car, and put the backpacks inside.

His movements were fluid and calm, as if the breathtaking interlude had never happened.

"Let's go, get in the car." Qi Shuo said to Qin Zhou and Song Yungui, his voice carrying a gentle tone that was unique to him when he was speaking to them.

"Alright!" Qin Zhou opened the car door and got in first. Song Yungui followed suit.

Throughout the entire process, Qi Shuo didn't glance at Tan Huaiyu once more. He walked around to the driver's seat, opened the door, got in, fastened his seatbelt, and started the car.

The engine emitted a deep roar. The car slowly pulled away from the roadside and merged into the traffic.

Tan Huaiyu stood rooted to the spot, motionless, his gaze fixed on the car that was getting further and further away, until it completely disappeared around the corner of the street.

An autumn wind blew by, swirling up a few withered yellow leaves that brushed against his body and face, bringing a cool touch. But he felt nothing.

The hole in my heart called "regret" grew bigger and bigger, bottomless, with cold winds whistling through.

He messed up again.

It seems he always pushes Qi Shuo further and further away in the wrong way.

Brother Qi Shuo... will he never forgive him again?

The car drove smoothly on the way home. Inside the car, Qin Zhou was still excitedly talking about the school's arrangements for the National Day holiday and the interesting things that happened in the class, with Song Yungui occasionally adding a few words.

Qi Shuo drove quietly, glancing at the two vibrant young men in the back seat through the rearview mirror. The chill in his eyes was gradually replaced by a weary warmth.

The almost instinctive self-isolation and defensiveness that he had when facing Tan Huaiyu gradually relaxed after he came into contact with the aura of his own family.

The damage has been done; he's tired, too exhausted to argue, respond, or forgive. All he wants now is to hold onto this hard-won, noisy warmth before him.

October has quietly arrived. The autumn colors are even stronger in the northern part of the city, and the sky seems high and far away.

October 3rd is Qi Shuo's birthday.

On this day last year, he had just been released from prison and was feeling lost and confused. On his birthday, he was scheduled to work the night shift at the restaurant until late at night. When he returned home, all he found was a bowl of longevity noodles with a poached egg left by Sister Jin and a simple note that read, "Xiao Shuo, happy birthday." At that time, he felt lost and adrift.

This year, however, the situation is completely different.

Sister Jin had made it clear early on that Qi Shuo's birthday had to be celebrated properly this year. Since it was the National Day holiday and everyone was resting, Sister Jin started making arrangements several days in advance.

Early on her birthday, the house was bustling with activity. Jin Jie, wearing an apron, was battling flour and butter in the kitchen, determined to make a decent birthday cake herself. Although the process was a bit chaotic and the kitchen suffered a bit, her heartfelt wishes were overflowing.

Qin Zhou and Song Yungui were also eager to try their hand at cooking. One of them insisted on making cola chicken wings, which was Shuo Ge's favorite dish, while the other said he wanted to stir-fry his specialty, corn kernels with meat.

As expected, Qin Zhou didn't control the heat well; the chicken wings were burnt and blackened. Song Yungui overcooked the meat and the corn was a bit wilted. The two looked at their "masterpieces" with some embarrassment.

Fortunately, Xiao Jue was there to stabilize the situation. He took over the main work in the kitchen with a smile, his movements swift and methodical.

In the end, apart from the two somewhat "abstract" dishes, the table was filled with Xiao Jue's delicious and visually appealing dishes: braised prawns, steamed sea bass, braised pork ribs, garlic greens... The aroma filled the entire house.

Lin Ye also arrived, somewhat embarrassed, and took out a simply packaged cardboard box containing cookies he had baked himself. The cookies were irregularly shaped, and some had slightly burnt edges, but they tasted surprisingly good, with a sweet buttery flavor.

The house was a chaotic mess: the roar of the range hood, the clatter of spatulas, the bickering of Qin Zhou and Song Yungui mocking each other's cooking skills, Jin Jie's commanding shouts, and the background noise of a variety show playing on TV... all intertwined to create a somewhat noisy yet incredibly real symphony full of life.

Qi Shuo was pinned to the sofa in the living room, looking at everything before him with a sense of helplessness, yet the corners of his mouth involuntarily turned up slightly. This feeling of being valued and surrounded was like a warm tide, slowly seeping into his parched heart.

Before dinner, the most important part arrived—giving gifts.

Sister Jin took out an exquisite shoebox first. Inside was a pair of limited edition new sneakers from a well-known sports brand. It was the style that Qi Shuo liked the most in high school but never dared to dream of owning because of its high price.

Jin Jie looked at him, her eyes filled with both heartache and pride: "Happy birthday, Xiao Shuo. Go try them on later to see if they fit. Go out more often, run and jump around. Young people should have the energy of youth!"

Qi Shuo was stunned. His fingers gently brushed against the high-quality leather of the shoe, his heart filled with mixed emotions. He never expected that after so many years, Sister Jin would still remember that insignificant dream he had when he was young.

Qin Zhou, watching from the side, clicked her tongue and complained sourly, "Sister Jin, you're being unfair. You didn't even give me something this expensive for my birthday!"

Next, Qin Zhou proudly presented a large paper bag containing a black leather motorcycle jacket. The design was very stylish, with a distinct street style and Qin Zhou's strong "school bully" aesthetic.

His eyes sparkled, and he insisted that Qi Shuo put it on right then and there: "Brother Shuo, hurry up and try it on, you'll be the coolest guy on the street! From now on, I'll follow you, and you'll be the most handsome guy on this street!"

Qi Shuo looked at the overly "wild" jacket and was somewhat amused, but under Qin Zhou's expectant gaze, he still changed into it as instructed.

Surprisingly, the well-fitting cut and sturdy material perfectly complemented his slender and upright figure and cool temperament, adding a touch of unruly handsomeness to him. Even Sister Jin and Xiao Jue were impressed.

Song Yungui's gift was much quieter: a set of high-quality writing implements, including a wolf-hair brush, a custom-made fountain pen, and several calligraphy copybooks by his favorite calligraphers.

He knew that Qi Shuo had beautiful handwriting and a calm mind, so this gift was both elegant and thoughtful.

Lin Ye's gift was a brand-new motorcycle helmet with a cool paint job, clearly designed with Qin Zhou's advice, and it was a perfect match for the leather jacket.

What Xiao Jue gave him was a set of deluxe translation theory books that Qi Shuo had seen a few times in the library before, but had never touched again because of Ning Wan.

Xiao Jue didn't say anything more, he just patted him on the shoulder.

The gifts were received one by one, each carrying the most sincere blessings and heartfelt wishes from family and friends.

Holding these gifts, Qi Shuo felt a heavy weight in his arms—the weight of love.

"Blow out the candles! Blow out the candles!" Qin Zhou eagerly lit the number "2" and "7" candles on the cake. The lights went out, and the warm candlelight illuminated the smiling faces.

"Brother Shuo! Make a wish quickly!" Qin Zhou urged.

Qi Shuo looked at the flickering candlelight, then at Jin Jie, Xiao Jue, Qin Zhou, Song Yungui, and Lin Ye surrounding him, and slowly closed his eyes as everyone sang the birthday song.

Wishes? He doesn't seem to have any grand wishes.

If he had to have one wish, he would only hope that... all the people in front of him could be safe and happy, and that this noisy yet warm time could last a little longer.

He opened his eyes and blew out the candle in one breath.

The lights came back on, and cheers and applause erupted.

Happy birthday, Xiao Shuo!

Happy birthday, Shuo-ge!

Happy birthday, Qi Shuo.

"Happy birthday to you."

"Happy birthday!"

Sister Jin started cutting the cake. Qin Zhou grabbed the biggest piece with fruit, and Song Yungui laughed and said he was greedy. Lin Ye quietly took a small piece, while Xiao Jue was busy pouring drinks for everyone.

The restaurant was filled with laughter and chatter, almost lifting the roof off. Everyone rushed to serve Qi Shuo food, offering their blessings in a cacophony that made everyone's ears ring, yet filled their hearts with joy.

Qi Shuo sat in the middle, listening and watching, occasionally a faint smile appearing on his face when Qin Zhou amused him.

He ate the cake slowly, the sweet cream melting on his tongue, the sweetness reaching the deepest part of his heart.

Over the past twenty-seven years, he has experienced unimaginable hardships and losses, but at this moment, he feels that his greatest fortune is having this group of family and friends who are not related by blood but are closer than relatives.

It was they who pulled him back from the brink of despair time and time again, warming his cold world in the most clumsy yet sincere way.

The scars of the past may never be erased, and the pain of loss may still be deeply hidden, but at least at this moment, in the candlelight of his twenty-seventh birthday, he truly felt that he was loved and needed.

That's enough.

Outside the window, the autumn night is cool as water; inside, it's warm as spring.