day

She opened her chat window with Lin Ye, typed and deleted repeatedly, before finally sending only a curt "Oh."

Soon, Lin Ye called. The ringtone sounded particularly jarring in the quiet dormitory.

Ning Wan took a deep breath, walked to the balcony, and answered the call.

"Hello?"

"You saw the photos?" Lin Ye's voice came through the receiver, carrying the clear, crisp quality unique to young people, with a hint of barely perceptible probing.

"Hmm." Ning Wan leaned against the cold railing, looking down at the empty playground covered in snow.

"You..." Lin Ye paused, seemingly choosing his words carefully, "...just let it go like that?"

"What do you mean, forget it?" Ning Wan asked knowingly.

"Brother Qi Shuo," Lin Ye said directly, "Didn't you...like him back then? Now that you know what happened to him, are you scared? Are you running away?"

Ning Wan's breath hitched. Lin Ye's words were like a dull knife, cutting through the facade of self-comfort she had been building up these past few days. She wasn't afraid of Qi Shuo; she was afraid of herself.

She feared she wouldn't be able to bear the unknowns that her heavy past might bring, feared she wouldn't be able to give the other person the understanding and support they needed, and feared even more that her own equally unbearable, unspoken family shackles and marriage contract would become another burden.

“Lin Ye,” her voice was a little hoarse, “things aren’t as simple as you think.”

“It’s not simple.” Lin Ye’s tone was unusually aggressive. “But you didn’t even try, and you just sentenced yourself to death? When Qi Shuo told you those things back then, it wasn’t to push you away. I think… he was more like waiting for your answer.”

Waiting for my answer? Ning Wan was bewildered.

What answer are you waiting for? Are you waiting for me to say "I'm not afraid"? Are you waiting for me to say "I can accept it"?

But she herself is still struggling in the mire, how can she bear the monstrous waves on another person's shoulders?

"I...I don't know what to do." She finally said dejectedly, her voice choked with sobs. "I'm afraid I'll say the wrong thing, do the wrong thing, and hurt him even more. I...I also have my own problems, Lin Ye, I can't be as carefree as you think."

There was a moment of silence on the other end of the phone. Lin Ye probably realized he had gotten a little agitated, and softened his tone: "I'm not forcing you. It's just... I can tell that although Qi Shuo seems calm on the surface, he's not having a good time lately. That kid Tan Huaiyu..."

He didn't finish his sentence, but the meaning was clear.

“Tan Huaiyu…” Ning Wan murmured the name repeatedly, the unease in her heart growing stronger again, “They…”

"I don't know." Lin Ye interrupted her, his voice a little muffled. "All I know is that if you really care, don't just hide away and suffer by yourself. At least... ask yourself what you really think. Don't wait until you regret it later."

After hanging up the phone, Ning Wan stood on the balcony for a long time until her hands and feet were ice cold.

Lin Ye's words echoed repeatedly in her mind.

Ask yourself clearly what you really think.

She wanted to get closer, yet she feared the heavy past and the complicated reality; she wanted to escape, yet she couldn't bear to part with the warmth and excitement she had briefly experienced.

Two opposing forces were tearing at her heart, leaving her utterly exhausted.

She looked up at the blurry city lights in the distance. What was Qi Shuo doing now? Was he still sitting quietly with Tan Huaiyu in the library? Did he... ever think of that girl who chattered away in the ramen shop and asked him translation questions in the library?

The cold wind whipped up snowflakes that stung her face, biting to the bone. Ning Wan hugged herself tighter, burying her face in her scarf.

There was moisture in her eyes, but it didn't fall.

She knew she had to make a choice.

Should I continue to be a timid snail, hiding in my shell and letting that faint possibility be completely extinguished; or should I muster that pitiful bit of courage and try to approach that cold and deep sea again?

She didn't know the answer.

This winter seems exceptionally long and exceptionally cold.

For Qi Shuo, working at the "Encounter" restaurant had long become a regular and stable routine. At nine o'clock in the morning, before the city had fully woken up, he had already changed into his neatly pressed black and white uniform and started preparing for the day behind the bar.

The aroma of freshly ground coffee beans filled the air first, carrying a rich, slightly burnt flavor that awakened the senses. Next came wiping the glasses; one after another, the crystal-clear goblets twirled between his fingers, polished until spotless, reflecting the morning light like rows of silent crystals.

Then comes checking various utensils, replenishing seasonings, and verifying today's special menu. These repetitive, mundane actions, imbued with an almost ritualistic focus, allow him to calm his chaotic thoughts and concentrate on the concrete, controllable tasks at hand.

Manager Chen would sometimes pat him on the shoulder and make a few harmless jokes, saying that he was the restaurant's "pillar of stability," and that with him around, the bar area inexplicably felt calm and reliable.

Qi Shuo's colleagues were used to his taciturn nature, but this silence was not indifference. When A Lin occasionally complained that her boyfriend was not considerate enough, he would quietly hand her a cup of freshly made hot chocolate milk foam, her favorite drink; when Qiangzi in the kitchen accidentally burned his hand, he would immediately find the first-aid kit, skillfully treat the wound, and bandage it quickly and well.

He wasn't one for jokes, but he was always there when needed. This silent support gradually helped him integrate into the small group, making him a quiet but solid piece of the puzzle.

During the afternoon when the sun is at its strongest, the restaurant experiences a small peak in customer traffic. Qi Shuo stands behind the bar, his figure upright, smoothly preparing various drinks.

He practiced latte art for a long time and can now consistently create simple leaf or heart patterns.

Occasionally, a regular customer would recognize him, smile, and order coffee from him, saying that his skills were becoming more and more solid. He would just nod slightly, not saying much, but a very faint, almost imperceptible warmth would flash in his eyes.

This feeling of being needed and recognized, though small, is real, like a tiny stream, quietly nourishing his long-parched heart.

This tranquil rhythm is occasionally broken by a whirlwind of activity, usually on Saturday afternoons when the restaurant is less busy.

"Brother Shuo! I'm here! I'm starving!"

Before you see him, you hear him. With the jingling of wind chimes as the glass door is flung open, a tall figure in the orange and white uniform of Beicheng No. 1 High School, carrying a bulging backpack, bursts in like a cannonball, heading straight for the bar. Who else could it be but Qin Zhou?

He would usually plop down on the high stool closest to the bar without any hesitation, throw his heavy backpack down at his feet with a thud, and then sprawl out on the marble countertop like he had no bones, staring longingly at Qi Shuo and wailing, "Brother Shuo, save me! I'm so tired from playing basketball, the food in the cafeteria is inedible! Can you give me something to eat?"

Qi Shuo looked up from his busy work, glanced at him, and continued making coffee without stopping, asking in a flat tone, "Is training over?"

"Just finished. It was a noob game, no fun." Qin Zhou waved his hand, looking smug like he was the best, but then his face fell. "I just used up too much energy and need to replenish it! Where's Manager Chen? What's good to eat today? Quick, bring me the menu so I can take a look."

Without him even having to call out, Manager Chen, who had heard the commotion, had already come over with a smile, holding a menu in his hand: "Oh, Xiao Zhou is here to 'inspect' your brother's work again? What would you like to eat today? To generate revenue for your brother, he can get a bigger bonus at the end of the month."

"Absolutely!" Qin Zhou snatched the menu, pretending to flip through it, while muttering, "I came here carrying the high expectations of the whole class... no, the whole grade! Look how great our Brother Shuo's working environment is, how attentive the service is..."

He was spouting nonsense while secretly glancing at Qi Shuo.

Qi Shuo ignored him, turned around and took out a paper bag with the restaurant's logo printed on it that he had prepared in advance from the warming cabinet, and placed it in front of Qin Zhou.

Inside is usually a heated, hearty sandwich, or a generously filled seafood gratin, sometimes accompanied by a small piece of the day's new cake or pudding.

These were all reserved in advance by Qi Shuo using employee discounts.

"Wow! Long live Brother Shuo! You're truly my brother!" Qin Zhou's eyes lit up instantly, and he cheered, eagerly opening the paper bag. The aroma of the food made him squint happily. While wolfing down the food, he didn't forget to vaguely "report" on his recent situation:

"Brother Shuo, let me tell you, I made it into the top 100 in English for the first time ever in our class this month! Sister Jin was absolutely stunned! It's all thanks to you giving me extra tutoring!"

"That kid Yun Gui, tsk tsk, he's in the top three again, totally in the bag. But he actually couldn't solve the last physics problem as fast as me! Aren't I amazing?"

"Oh, right, Cheng Rui lost a bet and insisted on buying us milk tea, but he bought us all full sugar, it was so cloying..."

With his mouth full of food, he chattered incessantly, talking about everything from funny stories at school to basketball games, from complaining about exams to embarrassing incidents involving his buddies. His vivid expressions and exaggerated tone were like a lively and noisy heatwave, instantly shattering the slightly lazy tranquility of the restaurant in the afternoon.

Other guests would occasionally cast kind glances at them, and the colleagues were used to it, shaking their heads with smiles.

Most of the time, Qi Shuo just listened quietly while continuing to do his work—wiping cups, tidying the table, and preparing the next order of drinks.

Occasionally, when Qin Zhou mentions that the solution to a problem seems to be wrong, he will briefly correct him with a word or two; when he hears that he has had another minor conflict with someone, his brows will furrow almost imperceptibly, and he will glance over indifferently; when he hears that his grades have improved, his action of wiping the cup will pause slightly, and he will give a very soft "hmm".

For Qin Zhou, this kind of "hmm" was the highest level of praise. He would immediately smile broadly, leaning even closer: "Brother Shuo, are you free this weekend? Could you explain the subjunctive mood to me again? I'm still feeling a bit dizzy."

"Check the schedule," Qi Shuo said succinctly.

"Okay! I'll wait for your news!" Qin Zhou didn't press the matter; he knew Qi Shuo would always keep his promise. He devoured his food, let out a satisfied little burp, and then sneakily leaned close to Qi Shuo's ear, lowering his voice: "Brother Shuo, I have a secret to tell you..."

Qi Shuo listened intently.

"I've saved up to find you a pair of sneakers! Limited edition! We'll get them as soon as we get our allowance and prize money from the competition! Don't tell Sister Jin!" Qin Zhou said, winking smugly as if he had accomplished something earth-shattering.

Qi Shuo looked at the undisguised, sparkling desire to share and the ingratiating look in the boy's eyes, and a corner of his heart sank slightly. He raised his hand and gently ruffled Qin Zhou's hair, saying in a low voice, "Don't waste money. Keep it for yourself."

"No way! I'm going to buy it for you!" Qin Zhou retorted, then grinned. "You'll look absolutely stunning in it! All the guys on our team will be green with envy!"

After making a ruckus for a while, Qin Zhou checked the time, jumped off the bar stool, slung his backpack over his shoulder, and said, "Brother Shuo, I'm leaving! I have to go back to evening self-study! I'll come back next time and eat you out of house and home!"

He waved and rushed out of the restaurant just as he had come, the glass doors swaying behind him before slowly returning to calm.

The restaurant seemed to fall silent again, with only the melodious background music playing. Qi Shuo looked in the direction Qin Zhou had disappeared, then looked away after a few seconds and continued wiping the gleaming glass in his hand.

The fingertips felt cold and hard, while somewhere in my chest, there lingered a subtle warmth, a warmth that had been baked by that lively, noisy atmosphere.

This warmth is different from the silent, distant companionship in a library, and also different from the cold loneliness of chewing on the past alone late at night.

It's noisy, direct, and rough-edged, a blend of oil stains, sweat, and the unreserved intimacy of youth. It's a little harsh, but real and burning.

He knew that Qin Zhou didn't come just to freeload a meal. The kid just wanted to see him, to make sure he was "okay" in this loud and boisterous way, and then to pour out his whole world to him, as if he wouldn't be satisfied until he created some lively ripples in his otherwise stagnant lake.

And he seemed to be slowly getting used to it, and even vaguely looking forward to this regular, down-to-earth "disturbance".

This must be what family is, he thought.

Noisy and unreasonable, yet in the most clumsy way, they firmly bind you to the mundane world.

The snow outside the window seemed to have lessened, and the sunlight occasionally struggled to peek through the clouds, casting a thin halo of light. Qi Shuo hung the cleaned cups back on the shelf one by one; they were neatly arranged, reflecting the warm light from inside the room.

That's how life goes, flowing silently forward day by day amidst the alternation of silence and noise, the trivialities of work and the concerns of family.