Chapter 118 Irreparable

In the instant his eyes were covered, Lin Yu seemed to see clearly the irreparable relationship between the two of them.

The moment Chen Guang lowered his guard, she seized the opportunity, broke free, staggered back half a step, and almost instinctively grabbed a glass from the table, splashing the entire glass of water on his face.

Cool water droplets rolled down his forehead, across the bridge of his nose, gathered at the tip of his chin, and finally seeped into a dark stain on his collar. Yet, they could not extinguish the raging anger surging in Lin Yu's chest.

Thinking about how he had disrupted her life these past few days, how he had ignored her boundaries, and how he had forcibly pulled her past apart, she raised her hand and slapped him again, using all the grievances and resentment she had accumulated over the years, without holding back at all.

Chen Guang was knocked to the side by the blow, and five bright red finger marks instantly appeared on his fair skin, standing out starkly against his pale complexion.

Water droplets were still dripping down his hair. His eyes were red at the corners, and his sharp features looked particularly gloomy in the dim light, revealing a vulnerable and disheveled appearance.

Lin Yu slapped Chen Guang squarely across the right cheek where he was still sucking on a candy. The hard candy dug into Chen Guang's cheek and broke his jaw, filling his mouth with a strong, metallic taste of blood, mixed with the taste of his bitten tongue. Even the candy's flavor couldn't mask the bloody sweetness.

Chen Guang pressed his tongue against the burning wound on his cheek. The stinging pain cleared his muddled mind a bit, but he didn't loosen his grip on Lin Yu's waist. Instead, he tightened his hold on Lin Yu's waist.

He looked down and gave a self-deprecating laugh. "My strength has improved... Looks like I didn't slack off on my morning exercises the other day."

Just as Lin Yu was about to retort, her phone suddenly vibrated in her pocket. Sensing it was Jiang Chuan, she forcefully pulled away from Chen Guang's outstretched arm and swiped to answer.

"Hello?" His voice was tense because of the struggle just now.

Chen Guang had already stepped aside, but the moment he caught sight of the caller ID, he suddenly grabbed Lin Yu's wrist and pinned her against the door between the kitchen and the bedroom.

Lin Yu was caught off guard and bumped into his arms, letting out a short scream as her phone almost slipped from her hand.

"What's wrong?" Jiang Chuan asked with concern over the phone.

"fine."

Almost the instant Chen Guang approached, Lin Yu quickly covered his mouth with her palm and warned him with her eyes not to make any sound.

"You bumped into the corner of the table."

She stared intently into Chen Guang's eyes, which were so close to hers, and saw emotions churning within them that she couldn't decipher.

"Is there any news from the hospital?"

Jiang Chuan seemed oblivious to Lin Yu's unusual behavior, his tone remaining normal. "Yes, Grandma has been transferred to a regular ward and will be discharged after a few more days of observation."

"Really?" Lin Yu's heart clenched, and a huge surge of warmth rushed to her eyes, giving her a sense of relief that made her feel weak.

However, the relaxation brought about by the brief joy only made the current situation more suffocating.

She could clearly feel Chen Guang's lips brushing against the lines of her palm, each breath burning her palm like a branding iron, yet she dared not loosen her grip even a fraction.

Chen Guang's actions suddenly became extremely aggressive. The smile in his eyes hadn't faded, but a hint of danger had crept in. His wet, hot tongue swept suggestively across Lin Yu's palm. She recoiled as if electrocuted, but he seized the opportunity to pull her closer, his arm around her waist.

He leaned closer, his damp hair brushing against her collarbone, his nose slowly moving across her neck. Each breath carried a burning heat, sending an uncontrollable shiver down her sensitive skin.

Lin Yu froze, afraid to struggle, and Chen Guang also remained silent. But the subtle rustling of fabric still reached Jiang Chuan's ears through the receiver. An eerie silence fell over the other end of the line.

"What's wrong?"

Lin Yu's voice was strained as she clearly felt Chen Guang's teeth grinding against her carotid artery, the subtle, piercing pain making her feel like prey being gripped by a wild beast.

"It's nothing." Jiang Chuan didn't say anything, and after a moment of silence, he sighed softly: "Your aunt starts chemotherapy tomorrow. Remember to keep in touch with the doctor, and call me anytime if you have any questions."

"Mmm," Lin Yu replied, holding his breath.

Chen Guang's canine teeth were pressed against her throbbing pulse, as if they would mercilessly pierce her veins and kill her on the spot if she uttered any word that displeased her.

"Is there anything else you want to say to me?" Jiang Chuan's voice carried a hint of probing.

Lin Yu was forced to tilt her head back, enduring Chen Guang's silent nibbling. She was eager to end this dangerous conversation, and even more eager to break this situation of being controlled by others.

"Be careful, we'll be waiting for you to come back."

Jiang Chuan is currently in hotel quarantine with Lin Yu's family. Although he is safe, he still craves her care and comfort.

"The same to you."

"good."

The moment the call ended, Lin Yu abruptly pushed Chen Guang away. His fingertips brushed against the stinging bite mark on his neck, and when he looked up, he saw traces of bright red blood from Chen Guang's mouth.

What do you want to do?

Chen Guang turned his head away, deliberately avoiding Lin Yu's gaze that seemed to want to devour him whole, and stared at her slightly swollen lips.

His gaze darkened, his Adam's apple bobbed, and a morbid satisfaction and twisted pleasure surged in his eyes.

"Banban, don't you understand what I want to do?"

He pressed closer, trapping her once more between himself and the door. "You should have known this would happen the first day you let me in."

Lin Yu's back was pressed against the cold door panel, and he couldn't tell whether he was referring to the opening of the door just now or the previous few days.

She retreated in vain, only to find herself backed against the door with nowhere left to go. "You're insane!"

"Crazy?" Chen Guang stepped forward, his fingers tracing the fresh teeth marks on her neck, his voice so gentle it sent chills down your spine. "Yes, I went crazy the moment I thought about you possibly going back to him."

Chen Guang's fingers slowly tightened, easily encircling Lin Yu's neck. His palm pressed against her pulse, feeling the rapid beating beneath her skin, like catching a bird desperately flapping its wings in a net.

"Is it too late to realize this now?"

Lin Yu smelled the scent of shower gel on Chen Guang, as clean and refreshing as he was. But for some reason, the scent now felt like an invisible net, suffocating her and making her want to hold her breath.

She didn't answer Chen Guang's question. Her chest heaved violently. After a long while, she suddenly turned her head, mustered all her strength, and bit Chen Guang's shoulder fiercely. If it weren't for the fleece sweatshirt between them, he would probably have already bled.

Chen Guang pressed his forehead against the door, enduring Lin Yu's overwhelming resentment and anger. His rapid, yet restrained breathing burned against her neck, transmitting his pain to himself in this way.

"You've fallen in love with him, haven't you?" His voice was low and hoarse, filled with a desolate and heartbroken sorrow. "Or, is it just out of gratitude?"

Lin Yu loosened her teeth, looked up at him, her gaze like a blade tempered with a cold light, sharp and icy, devoid of any tenderness or affection. "You really want to know?"

Chen Guang's fingers tightened unconsciously, almost digging into her shoulder blades, and his voice began to tremble uncontrollably. "And me... since when did you stop loving me?"

"Chen Guang, I used to like you a lot, but maybe it was never love."

Lin Yu's tone was as calm as if he were stating a fact that had nothing to do with him.

"I'm just too fixated on the regret of always being just one step away. This inability to have you has intensified my obsession with you, making me mistakenly believe... that I once deeply loved you."

Lin Yu felt a dryness in his mouth, as if something was stuck there. "Chen Guang, perhaps I am just a gap in your otherwise fulfilling life, something you desperately want to fill."

"But your fulfillment shouldn't be achieved by stealing bricks from my wall. Don't be the one lurking in the shadows and undermining my life as I build it brick by brick, okay?"

Chen Guang's Adam's apple bobbed, as if he were trying to swallow something bitter. It was as if, from the moment he stepped through the door, he had been awaiting this long-overdue judgment. "Is he better than me?"

"It's not a question of whether or not someone is excellent."

Lin Yu couldn't simply judge the merits of the two individuals. She thought back to the years she had known Chen Guang and the changes he had brought to her.

He was like a free wind, blowing away the gloom that had accumulated in Lin Yu's heart for many years. He helped her tear off the cloak of her old self, break free from constraints, and learn to embrace the world more bravely.

But Jiang Chuan taught her a different kind of growth. His presence taught her to confront her deepest inner needs and to fully accept her imperfections.

If Chen Guang made her fall in love with the world, then Jiang Chuan made her fall in love with her true self.

However, beneath Jiang Chuan's gentle exterior, there seems to be a hidden side. Before accepting him back, Lin Yu needs him to learn to let his guard down.

She doesn't demand a perfect lover, but rather hopes that he can be like her, openly sharing his most genuine vulnerabilities and wounds with each other. Only in this way can they truly walk side by side and go further together.

"You are all very smart, yet completely opposite."

Lin Yu continued after careful consideration: "At least he would weigh the pros and cons for me, while you, you always only think about yourself and forge ahead."

It turned out that Lin Yu had seen through Chen Guang long ago. Beneath that seemingly sunny and carefree exterior lay an extremely self-centered soul.

In Chen Guang's world, he could be extremely devoted, loving only one person in his entire life. But when love conflicted with his self-interest, he would always choose the latter without hesitation, and all his romantic feelings would instantly become insignificant.

At every crossroads of fate, he always chooses himself without hesitation.

Those passionate pursuits were nothing more than possessiveness at play. To put it bluntly, he couldn't stand having what rightfully belonged to him held in someone else's hands.

Chen Guang's eyes reddened, as if he were the one who had been bullied. "If I were the one going to Hubei, if I were the one willing to risk my life for you, would you still say such things?"

“Chen Guang.” Lin Yu looked into his eyes, a hint of pity in them. “You know perfectly well that you will never do it.”

These words struck Chen Guang like a hammer blow, shattering his last vestiges of self-deception. He suddenly realized that Lin Yu had already completely excluded him from his life's options.

The confidence and certainty he had when he first arrived in Shanghai had vanished. For the first time, he clearly realized that this relationship seemed beyond repair.