Chapter Forty-Four: Dinner Party

"Are you busy? By the way?" On the other end of the phone, Lin Jianguo's voice was lower and more husky than he remembered, trembling and hoarse from years of drinking.

The emergency lights in the stairwell cast a stark white glow over Lin Yu's head. She leaned against the fire door, the cold metal edge digging into her back. "It's alright, almost time to get off work."

She paused, trying to make her tone sound natural and fluent. "What's wrong, Dad?"

"Oh, nothing, I just wanted to ask when you're coming back for the New Year?" Lin Jianguo paused for a moment. "It's hard to get a taxi near the airport, I'll drive over and pick you up!"

Lin Yu wanted to say no need to trouble yourself, since she had already promised Lin Min that Uncle Liu would come to pick her up, but after thinking it over and over, she still couldn't bring herself to refuse her father.

The faint clinking of glasses could be heard in the background of the phone call—the characteristic noise of the pub near the entrance of the residential complex. Lin Yu took a deep breath. "Are you drinking?"

Those five simple words were like a knife, cleanly slicing through the fragile peace between father and daughter. "Didn't you say you weren't feeling well lately and were trying to quit drinking?" Her voice carried a blunt question.

"Sigh, your Uncle Wang and the others have asked me several times, it wouldn't be right not to go!" Lin Jianguo argued. Lin Yu was all too familiar with this attitude of his, as if every compromise he made was out of necessity, and every indulgence was out of obligation.

She could almost picture him looking like this: a nonchalant smile on his lips, but his eyes deliberately darting away, using his helpless demeanor to mask his already crumbling self-control.

Lin Jianguo is like that; he always puts the interests of his friends and colleagues first, and is willing to sacrifice his health and personal interests to maintain his flawed but good image.

Lin Yu couldn't empathize with her father; she only wanted him to prioritize his health. So, after hearing Lin Jianguo's explanation, she suddenly became aggressive. "Did you go for your physical exam? Didn't your cornea get congested before?"

"It's nothing, don't worry, it's just lack of sleep. Your dad is in good health!"

Lin Jianguo didn't want to continue the topic, so he raised his voice and said defiantly. In the background, people were egging her on to drink, and she could almost see her father waving his hand to refuse, yet unable to resist picking up his glass.

Just like his attitude towards physical examinations, he dares not face the truth, yet he has to put on a nonchalant facade in front of others. Like an ostrich in the desert, he would rather bury his head in the sand and keep numbing himself with the thought of "I'll deal with it tomorrow," just to continue this meaningless way of living one day at a time.

The motion-sensor lights in the hallway suddenly went out, and darkness surged in like a tide. The cold light from the phone screen reflected on Lin Yu's reddened eyes, and his memory suddenly flashed back to the late night when he was seven years old.

She had a high fever of 39 degrees Celsius, and her forehead was burning hot. Her father sat at the foot of the bed all night, his fingertips dipped in alcohol that burned with a blue flame, and rubbed her burning soles with his rough fingers again and again.

Moonlight streamed through the gaps in the curtains, casting his weary silhouette on the wall, like a mountain that stands forever.

But now the mountain is sinking deeper and deeper as it is swallowed by quicksand. And he is like a stubborn gravedigger, pouring strong liquor onto his collapsing ruins day after day, reminiscing about the long-gone glory in his drunken stupor.

Lin Yu's chest heaved violently, and her ears were ringing. The psychological defenses she had painstakingly built up over the years were about to crumble under the weight of Lin Jianguo's phone call. She was both surprised by the influence her father had on her emotions and disgusted with herself for indulging in such negative feelings.

On the other end of the phone, Lin Jianguo was still rambling on and on, explaining something, but his voice had become muffled. She bit her lower lip tightly, afraid that hurtful words would slip out. The questions that had been building up for years were churning in her throat, almost breaking free of the cage of reason.

She wanted to question Lin Jianguo about what he had been thinking all these years, why he had let their once happy life turn out this way. Where had her father gone, the one who would stay up late at night solving mathematical problems that no one else could solve?

Where did the father go, who could take apart a broken radio, fix it, and then put it back together exactly as it was? Where did the father go, whose eyes would light up when he took her out to the countryside with his film camera?

Now his life consists of only two things: drinking while eating and eating while drinking. Day after day, he has ruined his life with alcohol and diluted his responsibilities as a father.

What hurt her even more was that it seemed there was no place for her in her father's world anymore.

He wouldn't be like Lin Min, constantly asking her if she was doing well in Shanghai, if her work was tiring, if her salary was enough, if she had anyone to take care of her when she was sick, or if she had anyone to comfort her when she was sad. He wouldn't ask when she was going to start dating, when she was going to get married, or how much dowry she needed to save for the wedding.

These nagging words that Lin Min uttered every day were never heard from Lin Jianguo's mouth. She didn't know what her father truly cared about; perhaps he didn't care about anything at all. His world seemed to consist only of four drafty walls and an endless supply of alcohol.

Lin Yu hung up the phone hastily, overwhelmed with disappointment. The dull ache lingered all afternoon, and coupled with the work-related turmoil he'd learned of a few days prior, this unusual negativity persisted until the evening's dinner party.

......

The group dinner was held at a tropical rainforest-themed restaurant in Xujiahui. Half of the courtyard was reserved.

Lin Yu sat by the window with several familiar female colleagues, listening to them talk about work, family, and school district housing. She mechanically echoed them, her fingernails unconsciously scraping the water droplets that had condensed on her beer glass.

The conversation of his colleagues mingled with the background music from the restaurant, sometimes near, sometimes far. Lin Yu stared out the window, lost in thought. Snowflakes began to fall from the sky, like cotton wool scattered by the wind, drifting sparsely past the neon signs.

Lin Yu thought that seeing snow in Shanghai was a rare occurrence, and this year was truly special. As she gazed at the snowy scenery in a daze, she would occasionally sip a beer; the icy liquid slid down her throat, and before long she felt a little tipsy.

"Xiao Lin, it's the team leader's turn to offer a toast."

A colleague nudged her elbow. Lin Yu stood up and realized her beer was empty. She followed a few people through the noisy restaurant, the leaders' smiling faces glistening greasy under the chandeliers.

After completing the perfunctory walk, Dong Guobin stopped her as she returned to her seat. "You don't look well. How about I take you home first?" The scent of his cologne mixed with the smell of smoke made Lin Yu's stomach churn uncomfortably.

Lin Yu waved his hand at him. "No need, don't spoil your fun, the car I called will be here soon!"

Lin Yu returned to his seat, pulled out his coat from the back of the chair, said goodbye to his colleagues at the same table, and walked out of the restaurant in a daze.

A biting wind, carrying fine snow, swept across her face. She stood under a streetlamp, wrapped her coat tightly around herself, waiting for the bus. Looking up at the starless night sky, she realized she still couldn't adapt to Shanghai's winter. The damp chill seeped into her bones; even the thickest coat couldn't keep out the biting cold that seeped right into her very being.

"Team Leader Lin!"

Dong Guobin's voice came from behind. He jogged to catch up, his car keys dangling from his fingertips. "I'll give you a ride; it'll take a long time to get a taxi in this weather."

Lin Yu didn't want to strain the relationship with his colleague, so after hesitating for a moment, he ultimately didn't refuse his good intentions.

The car's heater was on full blast, but it couldn't dispel the subtle awkwardness. Dong Guobin kept trying to find topics to talk about, from project progress to company gossip, before finally changing the subject. "With someone as outstanding as Team Leader Lin, how come she doesn't have a boyfriend?" His fingers tapped lightly on the steering wheel, a hint of anticipation in his eyes.

Lin Yu was dizzy and disoriented from drinking, and was quite annoyed by the situation, regretting getting into his car. "We're here. Just stop at the convenience store up ahead."

Lin Yu had given him directions beforehand. She didn't tell Dong Guobin Jiang Chuan's address, but instead chose a convenience store across the street. After parking the car, she didn't rush to open the door; after thinking for a moment, she decided to explain things to him.

"Team Leader Dong, you're such a good catch, how come I've never seen you dating?" Lin Yu also followed Dean Li's conversational logic, making full use of the art of praising before criticizing.

Dong Guobin's eyes lit up, and he was about to reply. But Lin Yu spoke first. "I guess we're all averse to office romances."

She rested her hand on the doorknob, her tone gentle but her expression indifferent. Watching the flame in Dong Guobin's eyes gradually die down, she pressed on with renewed vigor. "If I know any suitable girls, I'll definitely introduce them to you!"

After saying that, she turned around and opened the car door. A cold wind rushed in, leaving no room for ambiguity.

The convenience store's automatic doors jingled open, followed by the reluctant roar of an engine behind her. She stood in front of the shelves, watching through the glass window as his car slowly drove away through the snow, finally letting out a long sigh of relief.

At the same time, a cold wind swirled snowflakes across the street, where Jiang Chuan stood on the street corner, holding the popular hazelnut cake from that online store.

When Lin Yu was in Feicheng, he casually mentioned that he wanted to eat it. He just hummed in agreement at the time, but after ending his business trip early today, he went there on a whim and waited in line for an hour to buy it.

A strange car pulled up across the street. The passenger window was half-rolled down, revealing Lin Yu's smiling profile. Her silhouette, softened by the warm light from inside the car, was leaning over and talking to the man in the driver's seat. They exchanged smiles between words, and she didn't get out of the car even after it had been parked for a while.

The red light flickered and counted down in the wind and snow, and Jiang Chuan's knuckles unconsciously tightened around the ribbon on the cake box.

The car door finally opened, and he watched Lin Yu wrap herself tightly in her coat and go into the convenience store. Then, through the convenience store's floor-to-ceiling window, he watched the car drive away with reluctance. The neon blue light made her blurry smile particularly dazzling.

......

Lin Yu, carrying beer and snacks he'd bought from a convenience store, walked unsteadily into the night. The cool night breeze brushed against his cheeks, intensifying his already high level of intoxication.

People are most oblivious when they are half-drunk. She squinted and thought, since Jiang Chuan won't be back until tomorrow afternoon anyway, she might as well completely let loose and drown all her work and family troubles in alcohol.

She stumbled and opened the door with her fingerprint, the security door shoving open with her shoulder, revealing a dark interior. Lin Yu impatiently kicked off her high heels and casually hung her coat on the entryway.

She stumbled into the living room like a stranded fish, the snack bag slipping from her fingers onto the carpet next to the coffee table, and groped her way to the kitchen in the dark.

Before the business trip, Jiang Chuan had already filled the originally empty refrigerator, and Lin Yu struggled to stuff beer into the already cramped space.

When people are lonely, they always want to be close to warmth. Jiang Chuan's continuous kindness made Lin Yu miss him even more at this moment. She suddenly wished that he could appear in front of her immediately.

Suddenly, a scene from an old movie flashed through his mind, and the male protagonist's silhouette inexplicably overlapped with Jiang Chuan's. Lin Yu took out his phone, found the movie, and connected it to the projector.

Taking advantage of the buffer period, Lin Yu decided to take a hot shower first, so that she wouldn't be so drunk that she couldn't even find her face after removing her makeup.

......

Jiang Chuan didn't go upstairs directly, but turned back to the underground parking lot and sat in the car for a while.

He placed the cake on the passenger seat, rolled down the window, and lit a cigarette he'd bought from a convenience store. He didn't smoke; he just watched quietly as the flame licked the tobacco, the nicotine lingering around his fingertips.

His slightly tense jawline was reflected in the rearview mirror. He was always good at putting on a show of ease in front of Lin Yu, and today was no exception.

But as he looked down at the carefully chosen cake, he found himself increasingly unable to stop thinking about Lin Yu, about the smile she gave that man. So bright, so dazzling.

Jiang Chuan knew his illness was severe and incurable. He struggled to survive alone in this cold world, trying to appear normal and hoping to gain a few scraps of kindness from the world, but he always felt out of place.

His father's infidelity and his mother's forbearance were like a thorn in his heart, making him full of doubt about those seemingly perfect relationships.

But on the morning he was sick, Lin Yu unexpectedly awakened his numb taste buds with a bowl of congee. At that moment, his dulled emotions gradually returned, and the seemingly unbreakable defense in Jiang Chuan's heart was broken down little by little by Lin Yu.

He began to uncontrollably become addicted to her resilience and gentleness. Even though her upbringing wasn't perfect, and even though she occasionally showed moments of vulnerability and anxiety, she always managed to reshape the meaning of love amidst contradictions.

A strong desire grew in Jiang Chuan's heart. He hoped to use Lin Yu to gradually mend his broken heart and rebuild his trust in emotional relationships.

He began to help her time and time again when she was in trouble, wanting to make up for the past when he was powerless to save his family by protecting and saving her.

In Lin Yu's presence, he both longed for her to see through his long-standing facade of perfection, and feared the betrayal he would suffer at her hands once he shed that facade, just as his father had done to his mother. Caught in this conflicting emotional struggle, he drew closer and closer to Lin Yu, sinking deeper and deeper into her trap.

Tonight, when he saw Lin Yu showing the same tenderness to others, Jiang Chuan suddenly realized that her softness and resilience might not belong to him alone.