Wen Feng was ordered by his parents to take care of the ill Yu Xue - they hadn't seen each other for a long time. To be precise, they hadn't met since their arranged marriage. It was said Y...
Chapter 15 Whose Phone Call Was My Mom?
Yu Xue stayed at home for two days, then suddenly said she was going to a friend's birthday party.
Wen Feng remembered that Yu Xue had mentioned before that she was discharged from the hospital for this reason.
However, in Wen Feng's memory, Yu Xue didn't have any particularly close friends. She locked herself in her room all day long, and lost contact with even her best friends.
Wen Feng: "Whose birthday party are you going to?"
Yu Xue was putting on earrings. She had bought a set of cosmetics yesterday and had her aunt braid her hair. She wanted to create the illusion that she was still employing a makeup artist. In reality, these people and things related to work had long since disappeared from her life.
She said, "Lin Yinyin."
After thinking for a moment, Wen Feng remembered that Yu Xue was her high school classmate and fellow townsman. They even went to the same university. Later, the two of them stayed in the same city to develop their careers. At first, Lin Yinyin was always eager to ask Yu Xue out, but later, because Lin Yinyin didn't come to see her, Yu Xue's cold behavior of resolutely not sending messages made Lin Yinyin distance herself from her.
However, when Yu Xue was injured and hospitalized that day, Lin Yinyin called to offer her condolences.
Wen Feng said, "I'll take you."
“I have a driver,” Yu Xue said casually.
Wen Feng said, "It's nothing, I have nothing else to do."
Yu Xue suddenly remembered something and looked at him with a puzzled expression, "I haven't seen you go to work lately?"
Wen Feng: "There's not much going on at the company lately."
"That won't do. You don't need to cancel your work to be with me. I'm fine," Yu Xue said earnestly, looking at him.
Wen Feng put the car keys in his pocket and quickly changed his shoes. "My parents said they've been feeling really bad that we haven't had a honeymoon since we got married. Since you've been sick lately and don't have much work, they've asked my dad to temporarily manage the company so we can have a proper honeymoon first."
He kept his head down as he spoke, hurriedly saying "I'm going to get the car," before opening the door and leaving, as if afraid that Yu Xue would reject him.
Yu Xue was completely baffled, wondering why he was in such a hurry.
She picked up her bag and the gift for Lin Yinyin.
Actually, the reason she insisted on leaving the hospital was for Lin Yinyin's birthday. She only had this one friend who was willing to invite her to the birthday party, and she didn't want her friend to feel unimportant or think that she was a strange mental patient.
She always felt that the gifts she bought weren't thoughtful enough. She wanted to make a pop-up book herself, but she was afraid it wouldn't be valuable enough, so she tried both methods: she made a pop-up book and bought an expensive gift.
Wen Feng didn't dare let Yu Xue go alone, nor did he dare to ask her to go together. So he simply parked the car nearby and sat in the car for as long as Yu Xue stayed in that house.
He was afraid of being mistaken for a criminal lying in wait.
It was very quiet, quiet all day long. There was no music or arguing or noise coming from inside. Around 2 p.m., Wen Feng saw Yu Xue go to the balcony, eat a small cake, and then go back inside.
At 8 p.m., the group came out of the room. Yu Xue was sandwiched in the middle of them. She waved goodbye to the birthday celebrant along with everyone else. Then, the driver arrived and picked up Yu Xue without any problems.
Fearing that Yu Xue would become suspicious if he and the driver arrived at his doorstep one after the other, he drove in the opposite direction, randomly choosing a place and circling around three or four times, taking a full half hour before finally setting off to go home.
When he returned, the house was dark, and the housekeeper had already left work. He turned on the light and called out "Yu Xue" twice, but no one answered.
He knocked on Yu Xue's door, but no one answered. He had promised Yu Xue he wouldn't go in casually, but he was really worried that something might have happened to Yu Xue.
He knocked on the door twice more forcefully. "Yu Xue? Are you in there?"
"Come in," Yu Xue finally replied.
She sat on the swing on the balcony looking at the moon. The moon was especially beautiful tonight, as bright as the streetlights on the dark road outside.
She swayed gently on the swing, gazing at the moon in a daze, and didn't hear Wen Feng knocking on the door for a long time.
She turned around and looked at Wen Feng's figure in the darkness. Wen Feng was about to reach out and turn on the light, but he withdrew his hand the moment she turned around.
Wen Feng tiptoed to her side, looked at her, and asked to sit down with her.
Yu Xue chuckled and said, "Sit down, why are you still embarrassed?"
She took her hands out of the blanket and handed them to Wen Feng.
Wen Feng noticed it immediately: her nails had grown long, very long, red, and very beautiful.
He took her hand, held it up to the moonlight, and examined each of her ten fingers carefully. "Beautiful."
Yu Xue smiled and pulled her hand back, saying without warning, "I want to find a job."
Wen Feng was used to her acting on a whim. He took a sip of the red wine on the table and looked up at the moon with her.
Yu Xue continued, "Actually, I know a lot of the people who went today, but... I couldn't get a word in edgewise. Sigh..."
She fiddled with her long fingernails and, as usual, began to ramble on, as if trying to finish all the things she hadn't been able to get a word in during the day. "They talked almost the entire time about work, complaining about the director and the boss, and I couldn't say anything. It was just... a little awkward. Lin Yinyin is so nice; when she saw I couldn't get a word in edgewise, she turned to me and asked what I'd been up to lately, why she hadn't seen me at any events. Sigh, the conversation was practically handed to me, but I just couldn't respond."
When Yu Xue looked at the moon, she thought about many things. In fact, she really liked her job and the feeling of being watched by everyone under the spotlight. She wanted to be the focus of attention.
This is also a flaw in her personality; even in life, she doesn't want to be an outsider.
However, during this period, she was almost always on the fringes.
She remembered that in her original world, she had always been the center of attention, from being the leader of the cheerleading team in junior high school to being the sports and arts committee member who often performed on stage in high school, and then appearing on shows and holding concerts everywhere in college. She was always watched and admired.
But after coming into this world, the job she was so proud of was gone.
She never imagined she would appear in front of an audience again. She couldn't fathom what it would be like for someone who had been so harshly criticized to reappear on stage. Would there be boos? Would eggs be thrown?
Will the backstage staff suddenly turn off the lights and music while she's singing, making her feel embarrassed?
She even had a ridiculous dream in which she was standing backstage at a concert. The lights went out, she walked onto the stage, and suddenly, all the audience members swarmed around her. They had wanted to kill her for a long time.
She was startled awake, but she never dared to tell anyone about the dream, afraid that they would think she was narcissistic and fragile.
People with fragile hearts may not be suited to be singers.
Sometimes she resents God for giving her creative talent, but also a fragile and sensitive heart. If the existence of this heart is destined to bury her talent, then it would be better if she never had this talent at all.
Why can't she be like other singers, standing on stage even when she's being criticized and hurt?
Why couldn't she go on stage with the mindset of "it's just a matter of dying"? Even if an audience member really wanted to assassinate her, couldn't she still finish the performance? It's just one life; isn't death her life's pursuit?
"Do you want to find a job that's different from your previous one, or do you want to go back to your old job?" Wen Feng asked seriously. "If you really want to, I'll arrange it."
Yu Xue knew this was impossible, and said with amusement, "Why do you always try to fool me?"
"I'm not kidding you, I'm serious." Wen Feng felt that her current state was indeed not suitable for work that involved too much contact with the outside world, nor for holding long concerts. However, she could still do some work such as guest singing a song on a show, just singing and not speaking. Or she could write, record, and release her own songs.
Doing things you enjoy makes you feel better, which is also beneficial for recovery.
Yu Xue sat with her legs drawn up to her chest, and Wen Feng tucked the blanket around her. "Be careful not to get cold. If you're cold, go inside."
"Wen Feng," Yu Xue looked at his face, "what do you think about me switching to working behind the scenes?"
"Behind the scenes?" Wen Feng asked in surprise.
Yu Xue had thought about this question for a long time, starting several years ago. "I heard from others that my voice is not suitable for singing, and that if I let someone else sing my songs, they would definitely become more popular."
Wen Feng grabbed her hand, "You can't just look at the bad comments."
Yu Xue chuckled, it was unclear whether she was mocking the statement or herself, "I haven't seen a good review in a long time."
“Yes.” Wen Feng noticed that her hands were cold and moved closer to her. “It’s just been suppressed. It’s already amazing that your first album has this level of recognition. Yu Xue, your voice is very good, it’s perfect. If you like it, you should keep singing.”
Yu Xue said, "But we can't just look at the positive reviews. We should also look at the most frequent comments. Maybe... that's what everyone's heart desires."
After she finished speaking, she hurriedly added, "But I also know that no one would pay special attention to me. What do I mean by 'where my heart leads'? Maybe I'm just too narcissistic."
Looking at her half-smiling lips, Wen Feng said, "I think you're being sophistical."
"Hehehe...sophistry..." Yu Xue laughed helplessly, "Then what do you say?"
"If you ask me..." Wen Feng shook his head, as if deliberately trying to amuse her, "What I'm saying is that truth is often in the hands of a minority."
"Hahaha, you're the one who's arguing sophistry." Yu Xue laughed, her eyes crinkling, knowing he was just trying to make her happy. "If there are more people who love me than those who hate me, then wouldn't that make the negative comments the truth?"
“Yes.” Wen Feng gently stroked the back of her hand and pulled her into his arms. “Whether there are too many people who love you or too many people who hate you, it will lead to extreme comments. When there are many positive comments, you can only hear praise, and it is easy to get immersed in arrogance and find it hard to extricate yourself. When there are many negative comments, you can only hear a barrage of denigration and insults, and it is easy to get stuck in the quagmire. So we should listen to all kinds of comments, ignore the personal attacks, select some comments that are helpful to us, think about them, modify them if they are useful, and throw them away if they are not.
His tone was just like coaxing a child. Yu Xue noticed that he was talking more and more. She remembered that when she stayed at Wen Feng's house during junior high school, Wen Feng was always concise and to the point. He talked the most when he was explaining classical Chinese to her.
Yu Xue played with his fingers without saying a word.
The phone rang.
Yu Xue turned her head to look, stared for a long time, but didn't pick up her phone. She slowly turned her head back towards Wen Feng, her face grave.
"What's wrong?" Wen Feng's tone also turned serious. "Whose call was that?"
Yu Xue: "My mom."
A note from the author:
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