Chapter 54 [VIP]

"Xie Nanyi, have I ever told you about my parents?" Pei Xingzhi asked, then chuckled softly to himself. "How could I possibly have told you?"

He seemed to be thinking of something sad, and remained silent for a long time. Xie Nanyi sat beside him, waiting for Pei Xingzhi to continue.

"I'll tell you a secret, but please don't tell anyone else, okay?" Pei Xingzhi said, extending his little finger to Xie Nanyi like a child. "Pinky promise with me."

“Okay.” Xie Nanyi reached out her hand to make a pinky promise with him. After the two of them finished their childish gesture, Pei Xingzhi seemed to be lost in some memories. He remained silent for a few seconds before speaking again.

"You should know that my dad is an Alpha, my mom is an Omega, and my brother is also an Alpha."

"Actually, my mother's pregnancy with me was purely accidental. My older brother had just started elementary school at the time, and they had finally gotten rid of one child and weren't ready to have a second. But I just appeared out of the blue."

They considered whether to abort me. You know, abortions are very convenient these days; it doesn't take much effort to get rid of a placenta that hasn't even become a "life" yet. And there's no responsibility involved.

It would have been easy to abort me; I could have never been born.

But they still hesitated. It wasn't that they didn't want children, but they wanted a child who fit their expectations. I came at the worst possible time; they weren't fully ready yet.

Unable to decide whether I should stay or leave, they decided to have a fetal sex determination test done. While fetal sex determination is indeed not allowed, my parents are doctors, so they could do it secretly without anyone knowing.

Perhaps it was my destiny to survive. I don't know if there was a problem with the machine that day, but they detected that my gender was Omega, so they kept me.

Pei Xingzhi kept his gaze fixed on the window. His voice was pleasant, and he recounted his own story as if he were telling someone else's life story.

"They were very satisfied with my gender test results. In their initial plan, they wanted a pair of children, one Alpha and one Omega, preferably a brother and sister. The brother, as an Alpha, could join the army, while I, as an Omega, would study medicine."

This is a classic AO (Avoidant/Adventure) development path. I don't know if you can understand this kind of planning. This expectation aligns with the mentality of most AO parents. Our lives must strictly follow their plan, and indeed, that's how it is. Except for my differentiation into a Beta, everything else has been in accordance with their expectations.

"Alliance University only started admitting Betas in recent years. In the first few years after differentiation, my parents hid my gender and sent me to a school with a lot of AOs in an attempt to help me adapt to life with AOs. But you can't fake it. My classmates found out I was a Beta not long after. The bullying of Betas in AO schools is very serious... I stayed in that school for two years before I was sent to a Beta school."

Pei Xingzhi's expression remained unchanged, but his fingers began to tremble involuntarily. The bullying of those two years haunted him like a ghost, and even though he told himself that it was all over and everything was in the past, his body couldn't resist his instinctive reaction.

Xie Nanyi took his hand, fulfilling the role of a good listener, gently wiping away the tears on his face, gesturing for him to continue.

“In my parents’ eyes, Betas have no value. Although they don’t treat my brother and me differently because I’m a Beta, their dissatisfaction in the details cannot be ignored.”

I can tolerate them not loving me at all, but I can't tolerate them loving me with reservations. So I learned to show my rebelliousness like everyone else.

At this point, Pei Xingzhi seemed to remember something and choked up with a laugh.

“But I rebelled in a very pathetic way. I went on a three-day hunger strike and ended up with low blood sugar and the worry of my classmates and teachers, but they didn’t care at all. They didn’t even realize I hadn’t eaten. So I gave up on expressing my rebellion by using my body as a price and instead started to shift my focus from them to my friends.”

"I thought my friends would treat me sincerely, but... as you know, I've only encountered people like Zhuang Xiaoyue. I'm actually quite happy that they can use me, because at least it proves that I still have some value. But their use of me is always one-off. Even if I say it's okay, they'll still run away from me in shame."

I don't want to live such a meaningless life, so I try my best to show my value. But the people around me always deny me because I'm a Beta, and even my parents can't treat me the same way. They often say that Betas live the freest lives, without being bothered by heat cycles or fertile periods, without worrying about accidentally releasing pheromones and affecting others, and that life is always so peaceful and serene.

But I never felt peace. I lived a life of constant suffering. All my choices were made by them, and all I could do was obey. I couldn't refuse because they were my parents; I also lacked the ability to refuse because I was a Beta. I hated everyone who approached me. All my suffering was inflicted upon me by them, yet I longed for them to be closer to me. I didn't want to be isolated by them; I wanted to be part of their world.

Pei Xingzhi cried quietly, large tears sliding down his cheeks. It seemed he had been crying all night, shedding all the tears he had never shed before.

Xie Nanyi took a tissue and gently wiped away his tears, then hugged him and patted his back softly.

The fabric on Pei Xingzhi's chest was quickly soaked with his tears. Pei Xingzhi didn't want to cry anymore, but for some reason he couldn't stop the tears that had already overflowed.

"When I was applying to universities, the Alliance University had just relaxed its admission restrictions for Betas, but I didn't want to apply to that university because I didn't like studying medicine at all, but I didn't have a choice. I wanted to secretly change my application, but my brother stopped me."

He knew I wanted to rebel in my own way, but rebellion was futile in my family, because he had tried it too. I followed my parents' lead and applied to the major they desired, becoming a model student in everyone's eyes.

Pei Xingzhi stopped crying and looked at Xie Nanyi with red and swollen eyes.

"I don't want to become your imprinted Beta, because I don't want my life to be controlled by you anymore. I don't want to be anxious and insecure because of the imprint, because that would make me unlike myself. I don't want to be an outstanding person or make any remarkable contributions. I'm just an ordinary Beta. I don't have any special abilities or talents. I'm just an ordinary Beta, and I just want to live an ordinary life that truly belongs to me."

"Xie Nanyi, I want to make a real choice for myself. I want to leave the capital, behind everyone's back, and leave the capital."

When Pei Xingzhi woke up the next day, the sky had cleared up. It had rained almost all night, and the morning wind still carried the smell of earth churning up.

Xie Nanyi was nowhere to be found. He sat blankly on the bed, his eyes darting around aimlessly.

He didn't remember when he fell asleep last night, only that he cried uncontrollably and Xie Nanyi hugged him and said something to him, but he couldn't remember any of it now.

He slept soundly last night, without even a dream. He didn't think much of it when he was venting, but now, looking back, he realizes how shameful he was yesterday.

I've endured it all for so long, but yesterday I just threw it all up in one go.

Xie Nanyi's room had floor-to-ceiling windows, and the curtains were slightly ajar, allowing light to filter through and fall onto the floor. Pei Xingzhi looked at that sliver of light and suddenly felt a strange, indescribable emotion.

He lowered his head, covered his face with his hands, and let out a soft sigh.

He's so incredibly embarrassing!

In the past, he would definitely have avoided Xie Nanyi recently, but now, it seems there is no need to.

This wasn't the first or second time he had lost face in front of Xie Nanyi.

"You're awake? Would you like something to eat?"

Xie Nanyi had already stood at the wrong doorway while Pei Xingzhi was in a daze. Seeing what he was thinking, Xie Nanyi deliberately didn't make a sound, and only spoke softly after Pei Xingzhi finished his series of actions.

To be honest, not only did Pei Xingzhi not know how to face him, but he also didn't know how to face Pei Xingzhi.

Take the most fundamental difference as an example: he is a high-quality Alpha. The environment he grew up in has always told him how excellent he is. He seems to have been born superior to others.

Therefore, he couldn't understand the pain and pressure Pei Xingzhi was enduring. The difference in their life experiences meant they could never truly empathize. He didn't want to cause Pei Xingzhi any more pain, so he carefully protected him, but he still caused him trouble.

He had always thought Pei Xingzhi was a carefree little sun. But he told himself that Pei Xingzhi also felt sadness, grief, and endless pressure. He was just an ordinary person, and he also had things he wanted to do but couldn't. His life wasn't entirely up to him.

He didn't want Pei Xingzhi to be in such a predicament, but he also didn't want to let Pei Xingzhi go.

Pei Xingzhi's mournful voice stopped abruptly. The shame in his heart prevented him from pretending nothing was wrong and raising his head to communicate with Xie Nanyi normally as usual.

"I'm not hungry," Pei Xingzhi replied in a muffled voice, his head down. "Where are my clothes? I was in a bit of a rush yesterday and didn't feed Wuyun. It must be hungry now."

Xie Nanyi silently handed over his clothes, looking at Pei Xingzhi on the bed, hesitant to speak.

After having a heart-to-heart talk, they should have taken things a step further, so why is it that he and Pei Xingzhi are always the opposite of others?

Pei Xingzhi took the clothes, pursed his lips, hesitated for a moment, and then said, "Um... could you go out for a bit? I need to change my clothes."

"Breakfast has just been heated up and is on the table. You can eat it if you're hungry. I have to go back to the old house, so I probably won't be able to take you back today." Xie Nanyi seemed to have just come to her senses and trembled slightly before stepping back to the door and giving a few more instructions.

"I... never mind, I'll have the driver come and take you in a bit. It's hard to get a taxi here, so don't try to leave on your own."

Xie Nanyi closed the door and left. Pei Xingzhi, as if exhausted, leaned back on the bed and stared blankly at the ceiling.